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JAI NARAIN VYAS UNIVERSITY, LIBRARY

TWO ALONE,
TWO TOGETHER

LETTERS BETWEEN INDIRA GANDHI AND
JAWAHARLAL NEHRU 1922-1964

EDITED BY

SONIA GANDHI

PENGUIN BOOKS

R-Vmrs MEDIA CENTRE^
WH0LES.UI BOOKSELLER & mVSAGm
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PENGUIN BOOKS
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First published by Penguin Books India 2004

The poem ‘I Sit Alone’ by Walter de la Mare is quoted by kind permission of The Litcraiy Trustees of
Walter de la Mare and The Societ)' of Authors as their representatives; ‘Mrs Reece Laughs’ by Martin
Armstrong is quoted by permission of PFD (www.pfd.co.uk) on behalf of the Estate of Martin Armstrong.
The poem ‘In Memory of Shelley Wang’ is quoted by kind permission of Dr J.K. Millar.

All photographs courtesy Jawaharlal Nehru Memorial Fund

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hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior wntten consent in any form of binding
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CONTENTS

Editor’s Note

Introduction by Sonia Gandhi ix

Jawaharlal Nehru’s and Indira Gandhi’s Kinship and xxi

Political Circles, and Circle of Friends
Journeys Undertaken by Jawaharlal Nehru and Indira xxviii

Gandhi between 1922 and 1963
List of Prison Terms xxxii

Family Trees xxxiv

PART ONE (1922-1939)

Section I; Growing Up (1922—1936) 3

Section II: Indira Comes Into Her Own (1937-1939) 155

PART TWO (1940-1964)

Preface to Part Two 249

The Political Setting of the Early 1940s 251

Section I: Homecoming (1940-1942) 253

Section II: Prison Walls (1942-1945) 337

Section III: Towards Freedom (1945—1946) 491

Section IV: In the Prime Minister’s House 511

(1947-1962)

Postscript 591

Appendix: Indira’s Reading in 1932 593

Index 594

editor's note

The letters between Jawaharlal Nehru and Indira Gandhi were originally
published in Britain more than ten years ago, in two separate volumes,
Freedom’s Daughter and Two Alone, Two Together.Thh book abridges the
two earlier volumes into one, with a view to making them more accessible
to a wide readership in India.

The letters have lost nothing of their essence in this abridgement.
Every letter of biographical and historical interest has been retained.
Letters of a more routine or ephemeral nature have been left out, while
others have been shortened by deleting repetitions, passing references to
family members, and humdrum details about matters such as travel plans,
dates on which letters were sent and received, and the like. Indeed, I
believe this pruning has brought the personalities and literary styles of
Jawaharlal Nehru and Indira Gandhi into sharper focus.

INTRODUCTION

Indira Gandhi occupies a very special place in twentieth century history.
She presided over the destiny of India for sixteen years as Prime Minister.
One of her distinguishing attributes was a special concern for the very
poor. She possessed great intellect, a rational perception and an acute
understanding of peoples and problems. Above all, Indira Gandhi was
gifted with a great sensitivity to Nature and the arts. These quahties
went together with a formidable will and a physical and moral courage
of rare quaUty.Yet, in spite of her innumerable achievements and her
place in history, she was a very private person and, perhaps because of
this, much misunderstood. To the very few who were close to her she
was a most concerned and loving human being.

Part One of this volume covers the correspondence between Indira
Gandhi andjawaharlal Nehru from the years 1922 to 1939 and shows us
the changing relationship between father and daughter. Part Two covers
the years from 1940 to 1964. My Preface to Part Two, on page 249 sets
the personal and political context for the letters written during this
period. The letters throw new light on Indira Gandhi’s character and
personality and on how these developed from a very early stage.

In order to fully understand these letters, it is necessary to say a few
words about the family into which Indira Gandhi was born.The Nehrus
had migrated from Kashmir to the city of Delhi in the eighteenth century
to serve in the Mughal court. Their fortunes were adversely affected
during the Uprising of 1857, also known as the Indian Mutiny. They
were obliged to take shelter in Agra, then moved to Kanpur and ultimately
to Allahabad. Motilal Nehru, grandfather of Indira Gandhi, earned for
himself a position of eminence as a lawyer as well as a nationahst. His
son,Jawaharlal Nehru, went to Harrow and Cambridge and was called
to the Bar from the Inner Temple. On his return, a legal career did not
seem to absorb him.The stormy happenings of the time fascinated liim
much more. He participated in political gatherings.When a local chapter
of the Home Rule League launched by Annie Besant opened in Allahabad
during the First World War, he was immediately drawn into what was

• INTRODUCTION •

then the most militant manifestation of nationahsm within India.

In 1916 Jawaharlal Nehru married Kamala Kaul.The Kauls, like the
Nehrus, were Kashmiris. Though tliey lacked the social prominence
which Motilals successes had brought to his family, they were greatly
respected in their community. Kamala Nehru was seventeen when she
came to Anand Bhawan.The cultural environment of her family home
had been much less westernised than that of her in-laws. This called for
a good measure of adjustment by the young bride. However, Kamala
possessed great inner strength and resiUence. Between Kamala and her
husband there gradually grew deep affection and understanding. She
was to die young. Nehru s feelings for her were expressed in his
autobiography which was dedicated ‘To Kamala who is no more’.

No account of the family would be complete if it did not dwell
upon Motilal Nehru.To outsiders, Motilal Nehru was the heroic public
figure whose standing in the legal profession and in the nationalist struggle
had earned for him a place among a select few in India. To the members
of his family, he was a loving husband and a father who doted on his son,
Jawaharlal, as well as his daughters,Vijaya Lakshmi and Krishna.

The birth ofhis first grandchild in 1917 filled Motilal with joy. ‘This
girl is going to be worth more than a thousand grandsons,’ he observed
with pride.Throughout the remaining years ofhis life, young Indira had
a special place in his heart. Swarup Rani, Motilal Nehru’s wife, who was
‘Dol Amma’ to Indira, completed, along with Jawaharlal ’s two sisters, the
inner circle of the large household.

While Indira Priyadarshini (as she was called by her father), was stiU
very young the family came under the influence of Mahatma Gandhi.
This changed their lives dramatically. Sensitive and observant Indira,
who was an only child, grew up in an environment from which her
father, grandfather and mother could be suddenly taken away for long
periods to ‘the other home’ — prison. Fortunately for her, even in the
midst of such happenings there was time for the tender written dialogue
which so powerfiilly shaped her personality.

Jawaharlal Nehru strongly believed that his daughter should grow up
in a milieu which would increase her critical faculties and widen the
range of her intellectual interests. He held the view that a liberal education
through formal and informal channels was the best possible basis for
shaping young minds. It is this belief and his concern for his daughter
which prompted him to write to her a series of letters on the history of
the world. These were later published as a book entitled Glimpses of
World History.

• INTRODUCTION •

The fact that Indira Gandhi grew up in an intensely political family
where participation in pubhc life was taken as a natural order of things,
instilled in her a strong sense of commitment to the struggle for freedom.
In the early 1920s, Mahatma Gandhi launched a Satyagraha, or non-
cooperation movement, against the British Government. It was at this
time that the first arrests, already referred to, were carried out in Anand
Bhawan.The policy of the Congress was not to pay the fines imposed
by the British Government. As a result, the police would often visit the
house to realise the fines by taking away valuables and attaching properties.
Indira observed with great interest the stir around her. Her receptive
young mind took stock of everything and she was much affected by the
manner in which her family sacrificed its possessions and comforts for
the country’s liberty. A glimpse of how deterrmned she was not to be
left out of any activity connected with the fight for freedom comes
through to us in an incident which took place when she was five years
old. As a part of the boycott of foreign textiles, Motilal and Jawaharlal
decided to have a huge fire of imported clothes and materials in Anand
Bhawan. Indira asked her father for permission to be present. Jawaharlal
did not give his consent since the bonfire was to be ht very late at night,
when it was time for children to be asleep. However, she had decided to
have her way.T did not take it lying down and went to my grandfather,’
she later recalled. ‘I told him that whatever the circumstances, I would
go to the bonfire.’ He promised to take her with him. Perhaps Motilal
Nehru discerned in his grandchild’s temperament a reflection of his
own firmness and willpower.

In 1926 Jawaharlal, Kamala and other members of the family
journeyed to Europe with Indira. After a period of travelling, Jawaharlal
thought it appropriate to enrol his daughter, who was nine years old, as
a pupil in the International School in Geneva and then in Ecole NouveUe
in nearby Bex. The latter was run by Mile L. HemmerHn. Later in fife,
while reminiscing about her student. Mile Hemmerlin touched upon
the extent to which the movement for frberating India had left a mark
upon the young child:

She greeted e\'erybody with a winning smile and was very popular among
her companions . . . Indira had a clear outlook about her country and a
firm will to free it from foreign power . . .

She often pronounced the name of Gandhi . . . She told us why he had
fasted with risk to his life and how non-violent resistance was more
powerful than hatred or weapons . . .

Xll

• INTRODUCTION •

The political education which Indira received in the first few years
of her life was reinforced by her experience of the next phase of the
nationahst agitation in India in the 1930s. This was triggered off by the
adoption of a resolution in 1929 by the Indian National Congress under
the presidentship of Jawaharlal Nehru. The objective of the freedom
struggle was defined as Puma Swaraj — complete independence as
opposed to Dominion Status, favoured by a section of the Congress.
She, in later years, was to recount with pride how she had been asked by
her father to read out to him the ‘Pledge of Independence’ which he
had drafted and how deeply moved she had been by this experience.

Indira’s early education had been unconventional. Jawaharlal Nehru
in 1931 decided to send her to the Pupils’ Own School at Poona, near
Bombay. The school had been opened by a young couple, the Vakils,
with a view to creating in children an awareness of their cultural heritage.
In dir a spent three years there. As in the school at Bex, both her teachers
and schoolmates were struck by her quiet air of confidence and her
eagerness to help those around her. Her flair for leadership became
evident during her time at school. Indira was the President of the Sahitya
Sabha, a literary society; she was editor of the school magazine and
‘chief justice’ of the school committee. Her letters fi-om Poona during
the early thirties were full of accounts of contemporary events, revealing
the deep impression they made on her. In September 1932, Mahatma
Gandhi, who had earher been imprisoned in Yeravda Jail, near Poona,
embarked upon a fast unto death in protest against the British attempt
to create a separate electoral identity for the untouchable community.
Indira wrote to her father;

On 20th September when Bapu began his fast we all fasted here and had
prayers.We also entered a new pupil. Of course pupils are entered nearly
every week but this was a new kind — one, like whom we have never had
before. Can you guess who she was? She was the daughter of our
mehatrani — ^an untouchable. Of course she is to be taught free of charge
. . . She is five years old and her name was Ura, but we had changed it to
Urvashi . . .

In her letter dated 27th September we can see how intensely she
shared Gandhiji’s ordeal during his epic fast of September 1932. She
sent her father a daily account of it.

Bapu rws looking very cheerful and certainly much better than yesterday.

• INTRODUCTION •

xin

Yesterday he was very bad and the doctors were very anxious.

She also wrote to her father about the manner in which the fast was
broken:

At noon the Superintendent gave the good news that the telegram was
on Its way to Poona. Padmaja, Mummy and I rushed to the market and
got the best oranges and other fruit that we could get. When we got
back, we found that there was yet some time for the telegram to come,
so we waited and each rmnute seemed an hour. When at last the telegram
came Bapu said that he would not break his fast, till Dr Ambedkar had
heard the contents of the telegram and agreed to them. Dr Ambedkar
was in Bombay, and it would have taken quite a lot of time for him to
come. And it was nearly five o’clock and Bapu does not eat anything
after six. So everybody, including Dr Tagore and the jail authorities,
persuaded him not to wait for Dr Ambedkar. So immediately I prepared
the juice of two oranges for him.Then Dr Tagore sang a Bengali hymn
and the Ashram people sang Bapu’s favourite bhajan ‘VaishnavJan’.Then
Bapu drank the juice and everybody was given fruit and sweets as prasad.
Then we all went home happy after an anxious day.

Today I am in an extra good mood, for I think that it is the happiest
day we have had for a very long time. It is Bapu’s sixty-fourth birthday
and he has begun eating fruit and he is much better than before.

After Indira’s schooling in Poona was completed, Jawaharlal Nehru
decided to send her to Santiniketan in Bengal. The poet Rabindranath
Tagore had started a unique centre of learning, where gifted scholars
and artists were gathered to teach. They encouraged the students to
explore the intellectual and artistic world around them.The presence of
Rabindranath Tagore was a source of inspiration to Indira and it made
an indehble impact on her.

Soon after her arrival there she wrote:

I had better give you my opinion of die place. As yet I have only seen the
girls’ hostel and the office and have had a glimpse of the Library and
Kala Bhavan. Everything is so artistic and beautiful and wild.

Indira’s stay at Santiniketan was indeed an experience which enriched
and transformed her. In a letter which she wrote to her father some
time later she said:

XIV

• INTRODUCTION •

I was glad of my stay in Santiniketan — chiefly because of Gurudev. In
the very atmosphere there, his spirit seemed to roam and hover over one
and follow one with a loving though deep watchfulness. And this spirit,

I feel, has greatly influenced my life and thought . . .

Jawaharkl Nehru spent about a decade in various prisons in nine
spells between 1921 and 1945. While in jail, the pain of isolation and
separation from those he loved imposed on him a deep moral and
psychological strain. ‘Priyadarshini, dear to the sight,’ he wrote to Indira
from prison in 1933, ‘but dearer still when sight is denied.’

Equally touching were the letters which Indira wrote to her father
while he was away:

Ever since early this morning we were all waiting impatiendy for your
letter . . .But when the postman came we were very much disappointed.
Anyhow I hope it will come soon — perhaps tomorrow . . .

It will soon be your birthday — on the Nth . . . AU day we wiU be
thinking of you. Of course I always am — ^but that day you wiU be more
m my mmd . . .

In 1934, Kamala’s health suddenly deteriorated. Indira was therefore
obliged to cut short her studies in Santiniketan. Kamala had been unwell
earlier, in the twenties, but a course of treatment in Europe in 1926 had
helped her considerably. Since Jawaharlal Nehru was in jail, Indira
accompanied her mother to a sanatorium in Bhowali in the Himalayas.
Later, she travelled with Kamala to Badenweiler in Germany, where the
doctors had advised treatment. At Badenweiler Kamala’s condition
became so serious that Jawaharlal Nehru, too, was released from jail to
enable him to be by her side. We have a moving account of Indira
looking after her mother during her last illness:

Indira used to look stunned watching her mother strugghng between
life and death. There seemed a very close bond between mother and
daughter and their eyes spoke the same language, a language of courage
and sadness.

Kamala’s death shordy afterwards in February 1936 was a great tragedy
for Indira and Jawaharlal. Leaving his daughter behind in Europe to
pursue her studies, Jawaharlal travelled back to India with the ashes of
his wife in order to immerse them in the river Ganges. The letters, as if

• INTRODUCTION •

by tacit agreement, make no mention of Kamala, but they speak of the
true loneliness which now descended upon him:

I have been living here in Anand Bhawan, a solitary individual . . .working
alone except when I am in [the] office. I sit here in my room and the
door connecting it with your room is usually open. And at night, and
sometimes in the day-time too, I go to your room and have a look round
and say good night to it.Your presence seems to hover around the room
and I have not liked the idea of disturbing anytliing in it.Various oddments
lie about, as you left them, and one has the feeling that the room has
been recently occupied . . .

I rejoice in your letters which tell me of your life full of activity and
work and joy. Your written word brings innumerable pictures to my
mind, a crowd of memories and visions of days gone by, and the sense of
emptiness in this silent deserted house goes from me. For otherwise it is

a lone house filled
with the cricket’s call;
and tlie scampering mouse
in the hollow wall.

In 1937, Indira was to return from Europe to Anand Bhawan for the
first time after her mother’s death. She was now a young woman with
intellectual interests and emotional attachments of her own, reflecting a
new stage in the development of her personality. Feroze Gandhi, a young
political activist from her home town, had grown very fond of Indira.
She reciprocated his feelings. He had been known to the family,
particularly to Kamala whose simplicity and sincerity of purpose he had
greatly admired. After a few months in India, Indira was anxious to
return to Great Britain to pursue her studies. Feroze, too, was a student
in London. A contemporary at Oxford who travelled with her from
Bombay has left us a telling portrait of Indira. As they embarked the
ship, the Viceroy of India, Kamila Tyabji observes:

I wept bitterly . . . Indira, on the other hand, xvas calm, unruftled. It was
the first glimpse I had of that intrepid training from her father she had
had from her earliest years; the suffering, and the inevitable hardening
that her family’s intense involvement in the independence struggle had
caused her. She was already a veteran at parting. We stood side by side,
wavang.as the ship sailed away; she, perfectly controlled, wdiilst I just did
not know wiiat to do with my tears . . .

XVI

• INTRODUCTION •

Indira’s brief stay at Oxford in 1937-1939 was a period of great
intellectual stimulus for her. In a very different way from Santiniketan,
where she had gained an understanding of the cultural traditions of
India at the feet of Rabindranath Tagore, Oxford greatly extended her
horizons. She established rapport with people of radical and left-wing
opinion in Great Britain. Indian students in Oxford were completely
iimnersed in politics in the late 1930s, especially through the Indian
Majlis, which provided a platform for debate on the great political issues
of the day. Yet Indira’s circle was wider than that of most students. The
radical nationahst, V.K. Krishna Menon, who was a great admirer of
Jawaharlal Nehru, took a special interest in her and drew her into socialist
and anti-imperialist work in London.

From Oxford she wrote to her father:

... [I] went to tea with H.A.L. Fisher. He is awfully race and his wife is
perfecdy charming — I wonder if you have met her.There were a number
of New College freshers there ... I had a marvellous time. Then I had
dinner with Mrs Rhys Davis and the Majlis Executive — afterwards was
the Majlis meeting at which Mrs Rhys Davis spoke. By the way, I do not
remember whether in my last letter I told you that I have become the
Women’s Secretary of the Majlis . . .

... I think I have told you that I have joined only two societies in
Oxford — the Indian Majlis and the University Labour Club. There are
all shades of opinion in the Labour Club and it is not affiliated to the
Labour Party. But in two days is the County Council election and we
want the Labour candidate to get in. I went out canvassing one night
and spent a good hour yesterday folding and filling in blanks in election
addresses.

In December 1939 Indira’s health, which had been delicate, began to
deteriorate, forcing her to interrupt her studies again. She was sent to a
sanatorium in Leysin in Switzerland to recover from a bout of pleurisy.
Away from her friends and from College, a strong feeling of depression
came over her. However, she fought her illness with determination. With
the worsening of the political situation in Europe, Indira decided to
return to India. She began to plan her return journey in an atmosphere
full of insecurity about her own future, as well as that of the world. Even
in this moment of crisis, however, her poise and strength did not desert
her. She wrote to her father:

• INTRODUCTION •

XVll

So I left the money — -just m case I needed it on my journey to India,
when taking money out of England would be difficult. I am teUing you
this so that you may claim this money — just m case (this is highly
improbable, but still) anything should happen to me.There is no point in
making a present of it to Cook’s.

While studying in England, Indira Nehru took an interest in the
world political situation. She belonged to a young group of people who
at Oxford followed closely the struggle between two opposite political
and social currents: fascism and sociahsm. Indira’s radical perspective
firom which she viewed world politics led her to differ from her father.
This is obvious in her comment to Jawaharlal Nehru on his article on
the Soviet Union which he wrote in 1940:

I have just been reading m the National Herald your article on Russia
and the Finnish war . . .You seemed to be shocked equally by the Russo-
German Pact and the war on Finland. And yet, doesn’t the responsibihty
of both rest heavily on these eight years of British foreign policy? At
Munich,England and France proved defimtely on which side they stood.
Russia’s pohcy of collective security having failed, she retired into her
pre-Litvinov isolation and her chief preoccupation was bound to be
how to keep herself out of the impending European war. (Hence the
advance into the Baltic.) The Russo-German Pact was certainly not a
change of front, since Germany primarily asked no more of Russia than
that this isolation should continue. And the pact has not made any
difference to the Soviet Union’s condemnation of Nazism and
Imperiahsm — viz. Molotov’s speech m November or the Mamfesto of
the Commumst International on the present war. As to Finland, you
agree that the Soviet Union’s demands were justffied. Why, then, did the
war come as such a shock to you? Did you expect the Soviet Umon,
after her demands had been rejected at the instigation of the Allies, to sit
back and say no more about it until the whole war should be directed
against her? For such was — is still — the intention of the AUies, as the
British press is at no pains to conceal , . .

It took months for Indira to reach London from Switzerland and
months more to find a passage back to India round the Cape of Good
Hope. It was April 1941 by the time she reached Allahabad. She was
now in her early twenties. Feroze Gandhi and Indira had decided to
marry. Because of different backgrounds the thought of such an

xviii * INTRODUCIION •

unconventional union worried Jawaharlal Nehru. He initially reacted
negatively to the proposal. However, as soon as he realised the depth of
the feelings which existed between the two young people, he gave his
consent. Indira Nehru married Feroze Gandhi on 26 March 1942 in
Allahabad. Indira’s aunt, Mrs Krishna Huthcesing, has left a moving
account of the wedding:

Lovely to look at, on this special occasion she looked lovelier than ever,
frail and almost ethereal. She laughed and talked to those around her but
sometimes her big black eyes would darken and hold a distant and
sorrowful look. What dark cloud could mar the joy of this happy day?
Was it due to a longing for the young mother who was no more, by
whose absence a void had been created which even on tliis day remained
unfilled? Or was it the thought of parting from the father, a father whose
very life she had been?

Soon after their marriage the couple travelled to Kashmir, but the
intensification of the political struggle made them return to Allahabad.
The British Government had made it clear that it would not grant
autonomy to India during the war. In August 1 942, after the adoption of
the ‘Quit India’ Resolution, Jawaharlal Nehru was imprisoned together
with all the prominent political leaders of India. Indira Gandhi too was
arrested in September 1942. In Naini Central Jail she involved herselfin
extensive reading and in looking after her fellow prisoners, amongst
them a little child, the daughter of one of the jail inmates. Life in prison
also gave her the rare opportunity to spend many delightful hours
observing plants, trees and birds within the prison compound:

Wliatever differences stone walls and iron bars may make to the human
soul,let us be thankfiil that they offer no obstacle to the vegetable kingdom,
which follows the cycle of the seasons, year in and year out, come war or
peace. We have a Peepal in our yard — a tree which, had it depended
upon human praise and approbation, would have withered away long
since. However, it ignored our derision and went on its lordly way. And
now that Phalgun is come again, the few remaining shreds of last years
garment, yellow with age are being shed off and its bare limbs are being
clothed in glorious sunset pink. It looks as if a deep blush were spreading
along the branches which gives it rather a coy look.Amazingly beautifiil
it is. But spring doesn’t last long and soon summer will transform this
flimsy pinky garment into the thicker aiid more serviceable green one.

• INTRODUCTION •

XIX

Indira Gandhi was released from prison in 1943 while her father was
to remain in jail for three long years. After her release, she wrote to her
father frequently, keeping him informed on what was happening outside.
She was soon to speak to him about the joys of becoming a mother. She
went to Bombay to stay with her aunt for the coming event.The month
of May found her in Matheran from where she wrote to her father:

I have collected from Chhoti Puphi all the books on children and babies
that she possessed and have brought them here. I am rather awed by the
responsibihty of bringing a new person into the world and of having
complete control over his life . . .

Indira gave birth to her son Rajiv on 20 August 1 944. Her letters to
her father, still imprisoned, are now frill of the excitement and fulfilment
of a mother observing the rapid growth of her little one and his increasing
awareness of the world around him. On 26 January 1945 she wrote to
Jawaharlal Nehru:

Independence day — we have had the usual flag ceremony at home.Rajiva
helped me to hoist the flag! He also made weird accompaniments to the
flag song . . .

The correspondence between Indira and Jawaharlal Nehru while
her father was stdl in jail continues to reflect upon private and public
matters. Jawaharlal Nehru was released in 1945. Soon after, he played a
crucial role in the negotiations which the British Government conducted
with the leaders of India. In 1946 the British constituted an Interim
Government which had Jawaharlal Nehru as the de facto First Executive
of independent India. At this stage Indira Gandhi divided her time
between her home in Lucknow and her father’s in New Delhi. In
December the same year, she gave birth to her second son, Sanjay.

For the next seventeen years Indira Gandhi carried out the duties of
official hostess for her father.The exchange between father and daughter
now became more that of the spoken word, with the exception of
occasions when Indira left Delhi for short holidays or was on tour in
India or abroad. Here again, between 1946 and 1964, we have some
letters which give us an insight into the role which Indira Gandhi played
in political affairs. Whether vacationing in Kashmir or working with
ordinary citizens or with organisations (mostly connected with the
welfare of children), she conveyed to her father with great sensitivity

• INTRODUCTION •

the temper of politics in the country and the climate of opinion among
people of different social backgrounds.

Letters are conversarion on paper — but more revealing. Indira Gandhis
shyness and sense of privacy made her express herself more freely on
paper than in person. Therefore her writings, particularly the later ones,
carry a greater charge of poignancy and revelation.

These letters, exchanged between a renowned statesman and writer
and a reluctant, developing one, may lead to a fuller understanding of
two individuals who left such a mark on India and the world of our
time.

SONIA GANDHI

JAWAHARLAL NEHRU’S AND INDIRA GANDHi’s KINSHIP
AND POLITICAL CIRCLES, AND CIRCLE OF FRIENDS

Kinship Circle

GANGA DHAR Nehru: grandfather of Jawaharlal Nehru, he was a police officer in
Delhi, from where he fled in 1857.

MOTILAL Nehru, father of Jawaharlal Nehru, Vijaya Lakshnu Pandit and Krishna
Hutheesing Prominent lawyer in Allahabad Bought the house Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad, in 1900. President of the sessions of the Indian National Congress in
1919 and 1928. Leader of the Swaraj Party in the Central Legislative Assembly.
Indira called liim Dadu, the Kashmiri variant of Dada, meamng grandfather

SWARUP Rani Nehru, mother ofjawaharlal Nehru. Indira as a young child called her
Dol Amma because she used to give her sweets from a doh, or a cabinet, with doors
of wire-mesh used for storing food

KamALA Nehru, nee KAUL: married Jawaharlal Nehru m 1916 Gave birth to Indira in
1917 Active in the national movement. Suffered fi:om a pulmonary ailment and
died m 1936 at Lausanne

BiBI AmmA. widowed sister of Swarup Ram Nehru, who lived with the Nehrus in
Anand Bhawan

FeROZE Gandhi pohtical activist from Allahabad Studied at the London School of
Economics Married Indira in 1942. Member of the Constituent Assembly. Elected
to the House of the People (Lok Sabha) of the Indian Parliament in 1952 and 1957
Died in 1960 at the age of forty-eight.

MOTILAL ATAL- great grandfather of Kamala Nehru. He was Prime Mimster of Jaipur

RAJPATI KAUL (Amma or Nani); mother of Kamala Nehru, she was actively involved
in the freedom movement and was imprisoned more than once

Chand Bahadur KouL' brother of Kamala Nehru He served in the State Bank of
India.

RUP KoUL: wife of Chand Bahadur Koul.

Ashok, Chitra, Om and HarI: children of Chand Bahadur and Rup Koul.

Kailas Nath KAuL: brother of Kamala Nehru. Indira refers to him as Mamu. A botamst,
he was Director of the National Botanical Garden and Vice-Chancellor of the
Chandrashekhar Azad Agricultural University.

Sheila KaUL ; wife of Kailas Nath Kaul She was Mimster of State for Education and
Culture (1980-4) and a General Secretary of the Indian National Congress

Gautam Kaul: son of Kadas Nath and Sheila Kaul He was a semor officer m the
Indian Police Service

XXU • KINSHIP AND POLITICAL CIRCLES, AND CIRCLE OF FRIENDS •

SWARUP KathJU, nee KAUL (Bappi): younger sister of Kamala Nehru.

P.N. KATHJU: husband of Swarup Kathju.

NareSH Kathju: son of P.N. and Swarup Kathju.

MADAN ATAL: cousin of Kamala Nehru. A physician, he accompanied Kamala Nehru
to Europe during her last illness. He went to Spain in 1937 on a medical mission
and led the medical mission sent by the Indian National Congress to China m
1938.

Brijlal Nehru (Bijju or Bijji Chacha): a nephew of Motilal Nehru, he grew up in
Anand Bhawan and rose to be a senior official of the Indian Finance Department

RAMESHWARI Nehru (Bijju or Bijji Chachi): wife of Brijlal Nehru. Active in politics,
she was one of the founders of the AU-India Women’s Conference.

Balwant KUMAIL Nehru: referred to as Ballo, younger son of Brijlal and Rameshwan
Nehru. Engineer and business executive.

BRAJ Kumar Nehru: referred to as Bijju, son of Brijlal and Rameshwari Nehru. A
member of the Indian Civil Service, he was Indian Ambassador to the United
States, 1961—8, Indian High Commissioner in London, 1973-7. He also served as
Governor of Assam and of Jammu and Kashmir.

Shobha Nehru, also called Fory: Hungarian-born wife of Braj Kumar Nehni.

ViJAYA LaksHMI Pandit, nee SaruP Nehru: sister of Jawaharlal Nehru, born 1900.
Called Nan, shortened form of Nanm or young girl. Married Ranjit S. Pandit.
Indira Gandhi refers to her as Bari Puphi or Semor Aunt. Was Minister in the
United Provinces After independence, represented India m London, Moscow and
Washington. President of the United Nations General Assembly. Governor of
Maharashtra, 1962—4. Member of the Indian Parliament, 1964-8.

Ranjit Sitaram Pandit: husband ofVijaya Lakshmi Pandit Participated in the freedom
movement. Imprisoned along with Jawaharlal Nehru.

ChanDRALEKHA Mehta, nee PANDIT: eldest ofVijaya Lakshrm Pandit’s three daughters.
Referred to as Chand by Indira Gandhi.

NAYANTARA Sahgal, nee PANDIT: second daughter ofVijaya Lakshmi Pandit. Author
and novelist. Referred to as Tara.

Rita Dar, nee Pandit: youngest daughter ofVijaya Lakshmi Pandit. Married to Avtar
Krishna Dar of the Indian Foreign Service

Krishna HUTHEESING, nee Nehru: sister ofjawaharlal Nehru. Born 1907. Died 1967.
Called Betty, the Anglicised form of Beti or daughter. Indira Gandhi refers to her as
Chhoti Puphi or Junior Aunt.

G.P HutheesinG: husband of Krishna Hutheesing and known in the family as Raja. A
member of the Socialist Party.

Harsha and AJIT Hutheesing. sons of Krishna and G.P. Hutheesing.

Shri SHRIDHAILA Nehru: a cousin of jawaharlal Nehru. Mathematician and civil
servant. Indira Gandhi refers to him as Shridhar Chacha.

Raj DulARI NEHRU: wdfe of Shri Shridhara Nehru. Indira Gandhi refers to her as Raj
Chachi.

RATAN Kumar Nehru, a second cousin of Indira Gandhi. Was a member of the
Indian Civil Service. Retired as head of the Foreign Office.

ILajan NnHRU:\vife ofRatan Kumar Nehru; a social worker.

• kinship and political circles, and circle of friends •

XXTll

SHYAM KuMARI KHAN:a niece ofjawaharlal Nehru. Active in pobtics and social work.
Indira Gandhi called her Shammie Didda.

LadlI Prasad ZutshI: an uncle of Indira Gandhi; a lawyer.

ViDYAVATI Durr, nee NeHRU' a niece ofJaw<3harlal Nehru.

MOTI KATHJU: a cousin of Jawaharlal Nehru. He worked for the Pioneer, Lucknow,
before joining the Indian Army He was a member ofWingate’s expedition and was
killed in May 1943 in a Japanese ambush in Burma.

Anand BHAWAN: Motilal Nehru bought a large house which stood in groves measuring
more than ten acres in 1900. It had been built some years earlier by a Judge of the
Allahabad High Court. Motilal remodelled it to suit his needs and named it Anand
Bhawan In the late 1920s, Motilal built a smaller house on the same grounds, on
which also he conferred the name Anand Bhawan, giving away the original house
to the nation. The ‘old’ house, which was renamed Swaraj Bhawan (or Freedom
House), was the headquarters of the Congress until India attained independence.

Political Circle

AddullaH, Sheikh (1 905-82): nationahst leader of Kashimr; spearheaded a democratic
and secular movement against the Maharaja and suffered imprisonment; Prime
Minister, Jammu & Kashmir, 1948-53, 1975-82.

Amrit Kaur (1889-1964): disciple of Mahatma Gandhi, participated in the freedom
struggle; Minister for Health, 1947-57

AnsaRI, M.A. (1 880-1936): prominent physician; nationalist Mushm, President, Muslim
League in 1920, actively participated in the Khilafat and non-cooperation movements;
President, Indian National Congress in 1927.

Azad, MauLANA Auul Kalam (1888—1958): scholar, theologian, journalist and
nationalist; entered politics and started the Urdu weeklies Al-Hilal and Al-Balagh,
came into close contact with Mahatma Gandhi during the non-cooperation
movement; President, Indian National Congress, 1923 and 1940-6; served as
Education Minister, 1947-58.

BajaJ, JAMNALAL (1889— 1942): businessman and philanthropist who participated in
India’s struggle for freedom; took keen interest m Mahatma Gandhi’s constructive
work.

Bose, Subhas Chandra (1897—1945): was selected for the Indian Civil Service in
1920 and resigned in 1921; joined the freedom struggle in 1921 and suffered
imprisonment on many occasions, elected to the Bengal Legislative Council;
President, Bengal Congress Committee for several years. President, Indian National
Congress, 1938, re-elected, 1939; founded the Forward Bloc, 1939; escaped to Europe
during the Second World War; organised the Indian National Army; died in a plane
crash in 1945

I5esai,M0RARJI (1896): eminent politician; Chief Minister ofBombay, 1952— 6; Union
Minister of Commeice, 1956-8, and Finance, 1958—63; Prime Minister of India,
1977-9.

HakJiAR,PN.( 1913) civil servant and intellectual; Secretary, Prime Minister’s Secretariat,
1967-71; Principal Secretary to Prime Minister, 1971—3.

XXIV

• KINSHIP AND POLITICAL CIRCLES, AND CIRCLE OF FRIENDS •

Husain, Dr Zakir (1 897-1969): educ 3 tionist;Vice-Chancellor ofjamia Millia Islarraa,
Delhi, 1926-48, and of Ahgarh Muslim University, 1948-56; Governor ofBihar,
1957— 62; Vice-President of India, 1962—7, and President, 1967—9.

JiNNAH, MOHAMED ALI (1876-1948): barrister of Bombay; President of the Muslim
League, 1916, 1920 and from 1934 till his death; a nationahst who later agitated for
and presided over the creation of Pakistan.

KAMARAJ, K. (1903-75): Congress leader from Madras; Chief Minister of Madras,
1954—63; President, Indian National Congress, 1963—7.

Khan, Abdul GhaffAR (1890-1988); Congress leader of the North-West Frontier
Province, popularly known as Frontier Gandhi; before 1947 suffered imprisonment
for his participation in the nationalist struggle; was later arrested by the Pakistan
Government and held in prison for many years; awarded Bharat Ratna, 1987.

Khan SaheB, Dr (1883-1958): brother of Khan Abdul Ghaffar Khan and a friend of
Jawaharlal Nehru during his student days in London; Premier, N.W.FP., 1937-9
and 1945—7; Chief Minister, West Pakistan, 1955-7.

KiDWAI, Rafi Ahmed (1894-1954): Congress leader from U.P.; member, Indian
Legislative Assembly, 1926-9; member. Congress Working Committee, 1947-51;
Union Minister for Food and Agriculture, 1952-4.

Mahmud, Dr Syed (1889-1971): a noted barrister of Patna High Court; gave up
practice to join the freedom struggle; Mimster of Education and Development,
Bihar, 1937-9; Minister of Development and Transport, Bihar, 1946-52; Union
Minister of State for External Affairs, 1954-7.

MALAVIYA, Pandit MADAN Mohan (1861-1946): educationist and nationalist.
President, Indian National Congress in 1909 and 1918; member of the Imperial
Legislative Council; member, Swaraj Party and later organised the Nationahst Party;
Founder of the Benares Hindu University

MEHTA,Jivraj (1887—1978): physician and nationalist; Chief Mimster, Gujarat, 1960-3;
Indian High Commissioner, U.K., 1963-6, member, Lok Sabha, 1971-6.

MenON, V.K. Krishna (1896— 1974): Secretary of the India League in London, 1929-
47; High Commissioner in London, 1947-52; member, Indian delegation to the
United Nations, 1952-62; Mimster without Portfoho, 1956-7, and for Defence,
1957-62

Naidu, SAROJINI (1879—1949): poetess and nationalist; President, Indian National
Congress in 1925;attended the second RoundTable Conference in 1931; Governor,
UP., 1947-9.

Pant, GOVIND BalLABH (1887— 1961):Advocate and leader of the Swaraj Party in UP
Council, 1923-30; suffered many terms of imprisonment; Premier, UR, 1937-9
and Chief Mimster, U.P., 1946—55; Home Mimster, Government of India, 1955—61

Patel, SardarVallabHBHAI (1875— 1950);lawyer who became associated with Gandhi
in 1918 and participated in the nationalist struggle, organised no-tax compaign in
Bardoli, 1928, and thereafter came to be known as the Sardar (leader); President,
Gujarat Congress Committee for many years; President, Indian National Congress
in 1931; member. Interim Government, 1946-7; Deputy Prime Minister and
Minister for Home, States, Information and Broadcasting, 1947—50.

• KINSHIP and political CIRCLES. AND CIRCLE OP FRIENDS •

X.\V

PILASAD, RAJENDRA (1884— 1963): lawyer who joined Mahatma Gandhi in 1917 and
participated in the non-cooperation movement; President, Indian National Congress,
1934, 1939 and 1946-7; Minister, Food and Agriculture, Government of India,
1946-8; President, Constituent Assembly, 1946-50; President of India, 1950-62.

R0Y,I5IDHAN Chandra (1882-1 962): physician and nationalist; elected to the Bengal
Legislative Council in 1923; President, All India Medical Council, 1939-45; Chief
Minister, West Bengal, 1948-62.

SHASTRI, LAL Bahadur (1904-66): Congress leader from U.P; Union Minister for
Railways, 1 952-6, for Communication, 1957— 8, for Commerce and Industry, 1958-
61, for Home Affairs, 1961—3, Prime Minister,June 1964— January 1966

Tagore, Rabindranath (1 861-1941): poet, novelist, essayist and dramatist; recipient
of the Nobel Prize for literature in 1913; was deeply involved in the social and
political regeneration of India; founded theVisva-Bharati University ofSantiniketan
in West Bengal

JAWAHARLAL NEHRU AND FELLOW PRISONERS IN AhmadNAGAIL FORT. Jaw.aharlal
Nehru sers’ed his longest term m prison from 9 August 1942 to 15 June 1945, a
period of 1040 days, in Alimadnagar Fort. During this period, he was incarcerated
with eleven other members of the Congress Working Comimttce, which had passed
the famous Resolution of 8 August 1942, asking the British to ‘Quit India’. The
names of these leaders are as follows'

1 . Asaf Ah

2. Azad, Abul Kalam

3 Deo, Shankarrao

4 Deva, Narendra

5. Ghosh, Prafulla Chandra

6. Kripalani,J.B

7. Mahmud, Syed

8 Mahtab, Harekrushna

9. Pant, Govind Ballabh

10. Patel, Vallabhbhai

11. Sitaramayya, Pattabhi

Till March 1945, all these leaders were incarcerated in Alimadnagar Fort Thereafter,
they were transferred to various prisons in the provinces to which they belonged
Jawaharlal Nehru was moved first to Nairn Prison, then to Bareilly and finally to
Almora, from where he was released on 15 June 1945

Circle of Friends

All Asaf (1888-1953): a Congressman and barnster of Delhi, actively associated with
the freedom struggle, first Indian Ambassador to Washington, 1947— 8; Governor of
Orissa, 1948— 52; Ambassador to Switzerland, 1952—3.

Ah lice Ganguli, Aruna Asaf (1906): prominent socialist leader; married to Asaf Ali;
took part in the Quit India Movement, 1942; Mayor of Delhi, 1958-60.

XXvi ‘ KINSHIP AND POLITICAL CIRCLES, AND CIRCLE OF FRIENDS •

Baker, Beatrice May: Principal of Badminton School, where Indira Gandhi spent
some time in 1936—7.

BANERJI nee GANGULI, PuRNIMA (Nora): a political activist of Allahabad who was a
friend of the Nehrus. She was the younger sister of Axuna Asaf Ali.

BHANDARI, PC.: physician who was associated with the India League, London; friend
of the Nehru family.

BOSE, NANDALAL (1883-1966): distinguished artist on the faculty ofVisva-Bharad,
PadmaVibhushan, 1955.

Captain, GoshibeN: granddaughter of Dadabhai Naoroji, a founder of the Indian
National Congress.

Captain, PerIN (1888-1958): granddaughter of Dadabhai Naoroji; took part in the
freedom struggle and suffered imprisonment on several occasions.

DARBYSHIRE, Helen: Principal of Somerville College, Oxford, when Indira Gandhi
was a student there.

DesaI, MAHADEV (1892-1942): Secretary to Mahatma Gandhi, 1917-42; participated
in the freedom struggle; died a prisoner in the Aga Klian’s Palace, Poona, in 1942.

Deva, NARENDRA (1889-1956): popularly known as Acharya (or ‘The Scholar’)
Narendra Deva; eminent socialist and scholar; participated in the freedom struggle;
one of the founders of the Congress Socialist Party; associated with Kashi Vidyapith;
was also Vice-Chancellor of Lucknow and Benares Hindu Universities.

Geissler, Louise: German national who helped Indians during the pre-Hider period.

HARI: valet to Motilal Nehru; after his death attached himself to Jawaharlal Nehru;
elected to the U.P. Legislative Assembly, 1937; died in 1961.

Harrison, Agatha (1885-1954):friend of Mahatma Gandhi and of the Nehru family,
she was a Quaker who worked for India’s freedom.

HEMMERLIN.L.: Principal ofL’Ecole Nouvelle, Bex, Switzerland, which Indira Gandhi
attended in 1926; she was again under Mile Hemmerlin’s care in 1935-6.

Kaul, T.N. (1913): author and diplomat;Ambassador to Iran, 1958-60, to U.S S.R.and
Mongolia, 1962—6, and to U.S.A., 1973—6; Secretary, Alinistry of External Affairs,
1966—8; Foreign Secretary, 1968—72.

LASKI, Harold J. (1893-1950): Professor of Political Science at the London School of
Economics, 1926-50, active in the socialist movement and Chairman, Labour Party,
1945-6.

Mehta, Krishna (1913):a fidend of the Nehru family, engaged in the rehabilitation of
refugee women and children in Jammu and Kashimr, 1948; member, Lok Sabha,
1957-62.

Miraben (Madeleine Slade) (1892-1982): disciple of Mahatma Gandhi; she lived at
Sabarmati Ashram for many years and participated in the freedom struggle.

Morin, Louise (1883-1970): French journalist and friend of India who was in charge
of the French unit of the All-India Radio, 1952-65.

Nahas Pasha (Mustafa Nahas Pasha) (1876— 1965): Egyptian statesman and leader of
Wafd Party.

Naidu,Leilamani (1903-59): daughter ofSarojini Naidu; served in the Indian Foreign
Service, 1948-58.

Naidu, PADMAJA (1900—75); daughter of Sarojim Naidu; Governor of West Bengal,

• KINSHIP AND POLITICAL CIRCLES, AND CIRCLE OF FRIENDS • XXVII

1956-66. She was called Bebee by kinsmen and close friends.

Nambiar, A.C.N. (Nanu) (1896—1986). worked for Indian freedom in Europe and
lived in exile in Germany till 1947; Indian Ambassador to the Federal Republic of
Germany, 1955-8

NaorOJI, Khurshedben (1894—1966): granddaughter of Dadabhai Naoroji; was
associated with Gandhian institutions.

Samant, DrVatsala. Medical Supermtendent of the Kamala Nehru Hospital, Allahabad,
1942-72; a friend of Indira Gandhi

SARABHAI Family: the Sarabhais are a notable family of Gujarat, prominent in industry
and in culture. Ambalal Sarabhai, a null-owner of Ahniedabad, his wife, Saralaben,
and his sister, Ansuyaben, came under Mahatma Gandhi’s influence Among Ambalal’s
children, Mridula Sarabhai was prormnent m politics and social work.Vikram, a
scientist, rose to be chairman of the Atomic Energy Commission.

Thompson, Edward (1886-1946): author and friend ofjawaharlal Nehru; supported
the cause of Indian freedom

Upadhyaya, S D. (1899-1984): served as personal secretary to Motilal Nehru, 1923-
31, and to Jawaharlal Nehru, 1931—46; imprisoned several times; member, Lok
Sabha, 1952-67 and Rajya Sabha, 1967—70

The Vakils: Jehangir Jivaj'i Vakil and his wife Coonverbai; JJ Vakil was teacher at
Santiniketan; they opened the Pupds’ Own School at Poona which was influenced
by Tagore; Indira Gandhi was admitted to the Pupils’ Own School in May 1931.

Yunus, Mohammad (1916— 2001):a friend of the Nehru family;joined Indian Foreign
Service after independence; served as Head of Missions at Jogjakarta, Ankara, Baghdad,
Madrid, San Francisco and Algiers; Chairman,Trade Fair Authority of India, 1980-9;
and as member of the Upper House in the Indian Parhament.

JOURNEYS UNDERTAKEN BY JAWAHARLAL NEHRU AND
INDIRA GANDHI BETWEEN 1922 AND 1963

1. In March 1926 Jawaliarlal Nehru, Kamala and Indira travelled to Europe where
Kamala underwent medical treatment. They stayed for a few months in Geneva.
During this period Indira joined L'Ecole Nouvellc in Bex. She visited Paris and
London with her parents in 1927. Jawaharlal Nehru attended the International
Congress Against Imperialism at Brussels m February 1 927 as a representative of
tlie Indian National Congress. Motilal Nehni joined them m Europe in September
1927. In November 1927 Motilal,Jawaharlal and Kamala visited Moscow to attend
the celebrations of the tenth anmversary of the Russian Revolution. Jawaharlal,
along with Kamala and Indira, returned to India later m December 1927.

2. After Motilal Nehru’s death in 1931 Jawaharlal, accompanied by Kamala and Indira,
visited Ceylon for a brief while.

3. Indira studied in the Pupils’ Own School in Pune (Poona) from May 1931 to April
1934. She passed her Matriculation examination m April 1934 and in July 1934
joined Visva-Bharati University at Santmiketan, Bengal.

4... JnJuly 1934 Kamala became ill again and Jaw'aharlal (then in prison) was released

'T on parole for a few days to visit his wife. Indira also came over from Santmiketan. In
October 1934 Kamala was admitted to a sanatorium in Bhowali in the Himalayan
foothills and Indira accompanied her mother to this resort.

5. In May 1935 Kamala and Indira, accompanied by Dr Madan Atal, travelled to
Badenweiler in Bavaria where Kamala was admitted to a sanatorium. Indira spent
some time inVienna and Berlin before joimng her mother in Badenweiler.Jawaharlal
Nehru was released from prison in September 1935 to join his wife in Badenweiler.
While in Europe, Indira rejoined her old school at Bex. At the end ofjanuary 1936
Kamala was moved to Lausanne m Switzerland. She died there on 28 February
1936. After her cremation at Lausanne, Jawaharlal and Indira spent a few days at
Montreux. Thereafter, Jawaharlal returned to India carrying Kamala’s ashes for
immersion, according to custom, in the Sangam (the junction of the Ganga and the
Yamuna) at Allahabad.

6. Indira joined the Badminton School at Bristol, Great Britain, in October 1936 to
prepare herself for entry into Somerville College, Oxford.

7 . In the spring of 1937 Indira returned to India for a few months. In the months of
May and June she visited Burma, Malaya and Singapore along with Jawaharlal
Nehru.Thereafter,she went by herself to Mussoorie and Lucknow before returning
to Anand Bhawan, Allahabad. In September, she sailed for Europe from Bombay.
She joined Somerville College, Oxford, m October 1937.

• JOURNEYS UNDERTAKEN BY JAWAHARLAL NEHRU AND INDIRA GANDHI • XXIX

8. In the summer of 1938 Jawaharlal travelled to Great Britain and Europe. On his
way to London he visited Barcelona, Spain, in the month of June Indira was in
London to receive her father when he arrived, and they were together in Great
Britain from the end of June till the third week of July. Thereafter, father and
daughter travelled to Paris, Prague and then to Budapest They reached Budapest in
the third week of August Indira fell ill while in Budapest, and returned to Great
Britain early m September and was admitted to Brentford Hospital, Middlesex. She
returned to India with her father in November 1938. On their way, they broke
their journey m Cairo and visited the pyramids. Indira spent five months in her
country, most of which period was spent with her aunt, Krishna Hutheesing, in
Almora.

9. In April 1939 Indira returned to Oxford In tlie summer of 1939 she spent a vacation
in Switzerland. Later, she became ill and was first hospitalised in Brentford, Middlesex,
and thereafter, in December 1939, she was admitted to a sanatonum in Leysm,
Switzerland.

10. Jawaharlal visited Ceylon in July 1939 and China in August 1939.

11. From Switzerland, Indira returned to Great Britain via Portugal in January 1941.
Accompanied by Feroze Gandhi, she sailed for India via the Cape of Good Hope,
and reached Bombay on 17 April 1941. Jawaharlal Nehru was in prison at this time.

12. Indira spent the summer months of 1941 in the hill resort of Mussoone, Jawaharlal
was released from prison in December 1941.

13 Indira married Feroze Gandhi in March 1942. She and her husband accompanied
Jawaharlal Nehru to Bombay to attend the special session of the All India Congress
Committee where the famous Quit India Resolution was passed on 8th August.
On her return to Allahabad, Indira was fiilly drawn into the anti-British agitation
and was arrested on 10 September 1942, while addressing a pubhc meeting Feroze
was also arrested the same day.

14. After her release from pnson in May 1943, Indira spent some time at Bombay with
her aunt, Krishna Hutheesing She returned to Allahabad at the end of August.

15 In the month of March 1944, Indira Gandhi travelled to Bombay where she planned
to stay with Krishna Hutheesing till her confinement. She also visited Matheran,
Poona and Mahabaleswar during this period. Rajiv was born on 20 August 1 944, in
Bombay. Mother and child returned to Allahabad in October 1944.

16. In May 1945, Indira Gandhi went to Kashnur witli Rajiv. She returned to Allahabad
in June to meet Jawaharlal Nehru on his release finm prison. She went back to
Srinagar, and Jawaharlal proceeded to Simla for the Simla Conference.

17 After his release,Jawaharlal Nehru was drawn into political consultations which led
to the formation of an Interim Government. Durmg the summer of 1946, Indira
spent some time at Almora and then moved to New Delhi, where Sanjay, her
second son, was born on 14 December 1946. During this year Jawaharlal Nehru
travelled to Malaya in March and to Egypt in December

18 On 15 August 1947, India became independent and Jawaharlal Nehru was sworn in
as Prime Minister. Indira Gandhi had already started living under the same roof as
her father and she was present on this momentous occasion.

19 Jawaharlal Nehru went to London in October 1948 and then again in April 1949

XXX • ]OURNF.YS UNDERTAKEN BY JAWAHARLAL NEHRU AND INDIRA GANDHI •

to attend the Commonwealth Prime Ministers’ Conference. Towards the end of
1949, Indira Gandhi visited London and the United States with her father.

20. In January 1950 Indira accompanied her father to Sri Lanka where he was to attend
the Cormnonwealth Foreign Ministers’ Conference. She and her father visited
Pakistan in April 1950.

21. Indira spent the summer of 1951 in Kashmir with Rajiv and Sanjay.The winter of
1951—2 witnessed hectic pohtic.nl activity due to the forthcoming General Election.
Indira was fully drawn into the election campaign and toured die country extensively.

22. In May 1953 Indira attended the coronation ceremony of Queen Elizabeth in
London with her father. She made her first visit to U.S.S.R. in June-July 1953. She
visited U.S.S.R. again in the company of her father in the summer of 1955. In
February 1955 and in the third week of June 1956 Jawaharlal Nehru went to
London for the Commonwealth Prime Ministers’ Conference. Indira and her two
sons accompanied him. She also accompanied him to U.S.A. and Canada in
December 1956.

23. In June 1957 Jawaharlal Nehru went on a four-week tour of foreign countries.The
Commonwealth Prime Ministers’ Conference formed part of this tour. Indira visited
Japan for the first time in October 1957 with her father. In July 1958 she travelled
to London. She vvas again with her father on his first official visit to Bhutan in the
second week of September 1958.

24. In February 1959 Indira Gandhi was elected President of the Indian National
Congress and had to travel widely across the country in that capacity. She visited
Afghamstan and Iran with Jawaharlal Nehru in September 1959.

25. Jawaharlal Nehru travelled to London in May 1960 to attend the Commonwealth
Prime Ministers’ Conference. Indira Gandhi went to New York in the second week
of May and was there for about a week. She joined Jawaharlal Nehru at Istanbul
(Turkey), where they spent a couple of days. They visited Lebanon and Syria on
their way back to India. In September Jawaharlal was in New York at the U.N. In
October 1960 Indira was in Mexico, going to New York the following month to
receive the Howland Memorial Prize ofYale University for Distinguished
Achievement fixim the President ofYale University. She also unveiled a portrait of
Elihu Yale. From New York she went to Paris. She was elected a member of the
Executive Board of UNESCO. She also paid a short visit to Germany in December
1960.

26. In March 1961 Jawaharlal Nehru was m London. Indira Gandhi travelled to Europe
in May 1961 to attend the meeting of the Executive Board of UNESCO in Paris.
She was accompanied by Rajiv. In August 1961 she was sent as Nehru’s emissary to
East Africa, Kenya, Uganda,Tanzania and Rhodesia. In the first week of September,
Jawaharlal Nehru proceeded to Belgrade for the Non-Aligned Conference and
returned to India through Moscow.

27. Indira Gandhi visited U.S.A. in March-April 1962. Later in September she
accompanied Jawaharlal Nehru to London for the Commonwealth Prime Ministers’
Conference. In October 1962, in the wake of the Chinese invasion, she visited
Tezpur in Assam, the nulitary and civil headquarters of the North-East Frontier
Agency.

. JOURNDYS UNOr.RTAKEN BY JAWAHARLAL NEHRU AND INDIRA GANDHI • YXXI

28 Indira vHited London and New York in March-April 1 963. She spent tlie summer
in Srinagar with her son Sanjay. Towards the end of the year, she visited many
African countncs — ^Tanzania, RJiodesia, Zambia, Ethiopia and Kenya — on a goodwill
mission.

LIST OF PRISON TERMS

Prison terms served by Motilal Nehru, Jawaharhl Nehru, Kamala Nehru and

Indira Gandhi

Moltlal Nehru

6 December 1921 — 6 June 1922 Lucknow District Jail (transferred to

Naimtal Jail in May 1922)

30 June 1930 — 8 September 1930 Naim Central Prison, Allahabad

Jmi’aharlal Nehru

First imprisonment

6 December 1921 — 3 March 1922

Lucknow District Jail

Second imprisonment

11 May 1922-20 May 1922

21 May 1922 — 31 January 1923

Allahabad District Jail

Lucknow District Jail

Third impnsonment

22 September 1923 — 4 October 1923

Nabha Jail

Fourth imprisonment

14 April 1930- 11 October 1930

Naini Central Prison, Allahabad

Fifth imprisonment

19 October 1930 — 26 Januarj' 1931

Naim Central Prison, Allahabad

Sixth imprisonment

26 December 1931 — 5 February 1932

6 Febriiar)- 1932 - 6 June 1932

6 June 1932 - 23 August 1933

24 August 1933 - 30 August 1933

Naini Central Prison, Allahabad
Bareilly District Jail

Dehra Dun Jail

Naim Central Prison, Allahabad

Scs’cnth imprisonment

12 February 1934 -7 May 1934

Alipur Central Jail, Calcutta

XXVMI

• I 1ST or PRISON TERMS •

8 May 1934 - 1 1 August 1934
(On parole for twelve days —

1 2 August 1 934 - 23 August 1 934)

23 August 1934 — 27 October 1934
28 October 1934 - 3 September 1935

Eighth imprisonment
31 October 1940 — 16 November 1940
17 November 1940 — 28 February 1941
1 March 1941 -18 April 1941
19 April 1941 - 3 December 1941

Ninth iinpnsonmcnt

9 August 1942 - 28 March 1945
30 March 1945 - 9 June 1945

10 June 1945 -15 June 1945

Dehra Dun Jail

Naini Central Prison, Allahabad
Almora Jail

Gorakhpur Jail
Dehra Dun Jail
Lucknow District Jail
Dehra Dun Jail

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison
Bareilly Central Prison
Almora Jail

Kamala Nchni

1 January 1931 - 26 January 1931 Lucknow District Jail

Indira Gandhi

11 September 1942 - 13 May 1943

Nairn Central Prison, Allahabad

Ganga Dhar Nehru
m

Indrani alias Jeorani

Patrani

Lalji Prasad Zutshi

Maharam

Dvvarka NathTakru

Ladli Prasad Zutshi
m

Lado Rani

Maharaj Bahadur Takru
(Maharaj Bhai)
m

Bishen Rani
(Bhabhi Saheb Takru)

Bansi Dhar Nehru

Kunwar

3ahadur

Raj Bahadur

Shri Shridhaia
(Shndhar Chacha)
m

Raj Dulari
(Raj Chachi)

Chandra Kumari
m

Krishna Handoo

Janak Kumari
m

Dr Jalil Ashgar

Man Mohini
m

A.L. Sahgal

Shyama Mohini
m

S.P. Chopra

Biharilal

Mohanlal

Shanilal

Brijlal

Kishenlal

NEHRU FAMILY

Nandlal Nehru
m

Nandrani

Motilal Nehru (Dadu)
m

Swarup Ram (Dol Anima)

Jawaharlal Nehru (Papu)
m

Kamala Kaul

Krishna (Betty, Chhoti Puphi)
m

G.P Hutheesing (Raja)

Indira Nehru (Indu)
m

Fcroze Gandhi

Sarup Kumari

(Vijaya Lakshnii, Nan, Ban Puphi)
m

Ranjit Sitaram Pandit

Nayantara

(Tara)

Gautam Sahgal

Harsha Aju

Chandralekha

(Chand)

Ashok Mehta

I — ■ 1

Rajiv Gandhi Sanjay Gandhi

Rjta

Avtar Krishna Dar

KAUL FAMILY

Jawaharmul Kaul
m

Rajpan (Amma, Nani)

Kamala Kaul
(Mummic)
m

Jauaharlal Nehru

Chand Bahadur Koul
(Chand Mamu)
m

Rup

(Rup Mami)

Kailas Nath Kaul
(Kailas Mamu)
m

Shicla

(Sheila Mami)

Swarup
(Bappi, Masi)
m

P.N Kathju

Section I
Growing Up

17th October, 1922

{Original in Hindi}

Lots of love to dear daughter Indu from her Papu.^ Get -well soon and
write a letter to Papu. And come and meet me in jail. I am longing to
see you. Did you try the new spinning wheel which Dadu^ has brought
for you? Send me some of the yarn which you have spun yourself.

Your,

Papu

Love to Papu,

[30th June, 1925]
From, Indu^

{Original in Hindi}

Ashram,
Sabarmati,
11th November, 1925

Dear Indu,

I stayed in Rajkot for two days. Chandralekha'* remembered her didda.^
She was very happy to see the motor-car you sent her.

I am now in Bapuji’s^ Ashram. I met Manu Behn.^ Do you
remember her?

Your loving,
Papu

L This IS the first extant letter from Jawaharlal Nehru to Indira Nehru. It was written
from District Jail, Lucknow, in the form of a postscript to a letter addressed to
Motilal Nehru

2. Indira’s grandfather, Motilal Nehru.

3 This IS the first extant letter from Indira Nehru to Jawaharlal Nehru.

“I' Chandralekha Mehta (nee Pandit); the Pandits’ eldest daughter.

3 The Kashmiri term for an elder sister. Indira was older than her cousin Chandralekha.

6 Mahatma Gandhi; affectionately known as Bapu (father).

7 Manu Mashmwala, a granddaughter ofMahatma Gandhi, Indira had visited Gandhiji
at Sabarmati with her mother and grandmother m 1922.

• TWO ALONE, TWO lOGCTMEK •

Geneva,
6th June, 1926

My dear Mummie and Papu,

I am sorry riiat I wasn’t good. But from today I am going to be good.
And if I am not good do not speak to me. And I wili try my best to be
good. And I will do what ever you tell me to do.

Love from your,
Indu

Chesieres,
27th July, 1926

My dear Papu and Mummie,

Did you give me a new toothbrush? Ask Mummie if my skipping
rope is there, I cannot find it. Thank you for your letter.

I am sending a photo of you and me at Bretaye in the boat on the
lake.

Yesterday all the children had a swimming bath and gymnastics.
Tell me all about Geneva. I will write a bigger letter next time.
Give Puphi^ her letter.

Love from your loving little daughter,

Indu

{Postcard: Original in Hindi}

Geneva,
27th July, 1926

Dear daughter.

There has been no letter firom you. Have you forgotten Mummie and
Papu? You had promised that you would write to us daily. You might
get the stamps there.

Love,

Papu

1. Aunt, refers to Krishna Hutheesing (nee Nehru), sister ofjawaharlal Nehru.

• GROWING UP '

{ Original in French}

Chcsicres,
28th February [1927]

Dear Papa,

Thank you very much for your letter. These past few days the weather
was bad; yesterday and today again it is nice. How is Mummie? The
snow is melring fast. It’s not good for skiing but it is fine for sledging.
The mountains are very pretty. Yesterday a big piece of ice half the
size of the roof fell, more is going to fall. We are enjoying ourselves.
This morning I went on the sledge. There is no more snow on the
trees. I send you my kisses.

Yours,

Indira

Montana,
3rd October, 1927

Indu darling,

1 w'as very pleased to read your letter to Mummie. I am looking forward
to getting a letter fiom you myself.

Mummie has already sent you some Indian stamps. I am sending
you some more with this letter.

We all went for a motor drive to the Simplon Pass on Saturday.
This pass leads fixmi Switzerland to Italy. We have to climb up to it
and then go down to Italy on the other side. The railway line does
not climb up. It goes through a long tunnel called the Simplon Tunnel.
Perhaps you remember tliis tunnel. We passed it when coming from
Venice last year.

A friend of mine has sent a beautiful model of an aeroplane for
you. I shall bring it with me when I come to see you next.

Wc hope to \dsit you on Sunday next. Please inform Mademoiselle
Hemmerlin.’

Hope you are well and happy.

Your lovdng,
Papu

1 rincipal of L’Ecole Nouvelle at Be.\', Switzerland

• TWO ALONH, TWO TOGETHER •

Sauoy Hotel,
Mussoorie
16tli May, i928

Papu darling,

We arrived here at twelve o’clock. We travelled in the train till Dehra
Dun, we got down at Dehra Dun and went in a car to Mrs Chapman;
here we changed our clothes and made ourselves clean. Then Pupha
and Puphi^ rode on horseback while Mummie, Chand and I came
on dandis? I wanted to ride very much but Puphi said that it would
be better if I didn’t because I did not have riding clothes.

Write soon, and tell me when you are coming.

With love from your loving daughter,

Indira

{Postcard: Original in Hindi}

23rd August, ■i928

Indu,

Do you know this story? Napoleon was strolling about one night. He
found a sentry fast asleep. According to Army rules this was a serious
offence. A soldier on duty should not sleep. But Napoleon did not
wake up the soldier. Instead, he took his gun and started keeping
watch in his place.

Love,

Papu

1. Uncle and Aunt; refers to Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit (nee Nehru), sister of Jawaharlal
Nehru, and her husband Ranjit Pandit.

2. A chair conveyance used on hills.

• GROWING UP •

Amnd Bhawan,
[Allahabad]
15th May, 1929
5.45 a.m.

Dearest Mummie and Papu,

Did you receive my two letters? Thanks for the two letters which I got
yesterday evening.

Puphi could not find the x-ray anywhere. I know where the belt
is so I will take it out today. It is only a quarter to six now and I am
ready.

Our exam finished yesterday and as there will be nothing to do at
school today and tomorrow I have taken a holiday.

How are you all?

Yesterday was Tara’s^ birthday and Bibi- had a puja and Puphi,
Chand and Tara had their food here.

Pupha went to the kachahri and so he could not have his lunch
here.

I sent Mummie two letters, one typed, and one like this one.
Love and kisses to all.

From your loving daughter,
Indira

Please try and write some letters to me.

[Allahabadl
[No date]^

Papu darling,

I am going to tell you something about what happened yesterday.
Well, we were sitting in the verandah in front of Puphi’s room at
about four p.in. yesterday, when two men came and said a girl fi-om

1 .

2 .

3 .

N.ipnt.nra Sahgal (nec Pandit); the Pandits’ second daughter, Chand’s younger sister.
Pibi Amina: Indira’s great-aunt, Dol Anima’s sister

Prom extcriwl and internal evidence it appears that this letter was written sonietinie
between 30th June and 8th September, 1930, when both Motilal and Jawaharlal
were in N.nni Pnson

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

their house had run away from home and had come to Allahabad to
become a volunteer.^

I told them to go to the Congress Office as perhaps she might
have gone there.

At quarter to eight in the evening a man from the Khaddar
Bhandar^ brought her here and said that she was there since morning
and that she had had nothing to eat.

On asking her questions I found that she was thirteen years old
and that on coming she had left a letter for her brother, who was
smaller than herself, saying that she was going to visit Pandit Jawaharlal
[Nehru] and that she had taken two rupees for her fare to come here
and that they were not to worry about her as she would become a
volunteer and stay in Allahabad. After writing the letter she took the
money and went to the station, took a ticket for Allahabad and when
she arrived here she took an ecka^ and told the driver that she wanted
to be volunteer so the man went to the Khaddar Bhandar and left her
there. She had her food here and at ten p.m. the two men came and
took her away, because they said that her mother was crying for her.
She lived in Babhni.

Now it is nearly time for this letter to go to you. So with heaps and
heaps of love to Dadu and you.

Yours,

Indu

Anaiid Bhaum,
[Allahabad]
11th November, 1930

Papu darling,

I do not know when Dadu is going to write to you and so I am
writing now so that my letter may be ready to go to Naini as soon as
Dadu wishes.

Dadu has decided to start for Calcutta on the 16th. He is taking

1. An unpaid political worker of the Congress Party

2. Under Mahatma Gandhi members of the Congress were expected to wear khadi (ot
khaddar) liand-spun, hand-woven clotli — ^which became a symbol of the nationalist
resurgence and anti-imperiahst spirit. Imported cloth was boycotted and burned by
nationalists. Bhandar means a store.

3. A two-wheeled vehicle drawn by a horse.

• GROWING UP •

1 I

Chhoti Puplii' with him and has also written to Madan Bliai“ to
come. From Calcutta Dadu will sail for Singapore. The house will be
so deserted when he is gone. There will only be Mummie and I
upstairs and Dol Amnia^ and Bibi downstairs.

On your last interview day** you told me to ask you any question I
like, in my letter to you, as we cannot have our ev'ening talks now.
Here is a question I once asked someone when I was in Nainital, but
I didn’t get any reply. Why do the toes bend downwards when we are
walking? I have very often noticed this while walking with chappah
on, and try as I would to keep them straight they somehow bend.

Vallabhbhai^ and Mahadeo Bhai^ started for Bombay this morning
at seven thirty.

It is one thirty now, and I am going to Sundarlalji’s^, Manna Bhai
and the others’ trial which will take place in the Malaka jail.

1 have just come back and am going to tell you what happened
while we were there. We were all sitting in the court room. Shammie
Didda** and Uma Bhabhi’ were also there. A police inspector came
and put down two warrants in front of Mr Sucha Singh, who was
ir)'ing Mannabhai, etc. The warrants were for Shammie Didda and
Chhoti Puphi and they were arrested and tried there and then with
the othcrs.Thcy were arrested in Act 188 and got Rs.50 fine, in default
one month’s simple imprisonment ‘A’ class. Then we came home and
packed Puphi’s things and bedding and sent them to her.

In this letter I am enclosing my report of the work I did with my
professor.

Now 1 must close up because after this excitement I am quite tired

1. Junior Aunt (Krishna Hutheesing).

- Madin At.il; cousin of K.iin.'il.i Nehru, .n physicwn.

Swamp Rani Nehru, Mother ofjawaharl.il Nelini.

Prisoners who were convicted on political grounds were nonnally allowed to meet
one or two close relations once a fortnight. However, on some occasions even such
fornughdy intervnews were not permitted.

^ Sardar Valhbhhhai Patel; campaigner in the nationalist struggle. President of the
Indi.in National Congress, 1931.

Mahadev Desai: a close .associate of Mahatma Gandhi who also served as his private
, 'eaetaiy from 1917 till his death in 1942.

' ■ I audit Sundarhal: a revolutionary nationalist who later became a follower of Mahatma
(•andhi.

|| Nnarn Kumari Khan:Jiwaharl.al Nehru’s niece.

Unu Nehm wife ofjawaharlars cousin, Shamlal Nehni.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

out and my brain is not working at all. I hope to write a longer letter
next time. Give my love to Pupha & yourself.

Your loving,
Indu

Calcutta,
[December 1930]

Papu darling,

I was coming to Allahabad with Mummie tonight, but as I had a
teeny wish to remain here Dadu told me to stay on and that I would
have the opportunity of seeing [you] in another fortnight. This is a
long time to wait, but Dadu called me last night and talked to me for
quite a long time. By his talk I gathered that he wanted me to stay. So
although I wanted very much to see you I had to make up my mind to
do otherwise.

I think Dadu has also written to you and you may find the cause
why he wants me to stay in his letter.

I have finished reading TIte Life of the Bee} I enjoyed it very much.

I have also begun The Life of the Ant f But as I have only read a few
pages I have not yet formed my opinion about it.

After finishing this I will read the book about Garibaldi that you
gave me. At the present Dadu and Chhoti [Puphi] have both begun it
and none of them has read the whole of it.

I will also read the other two books about Garibaldi. Puphi has
got them here.

An revoir, Papu darling, with lots and lots of love and kisses.

From your loving,
Indu-boy

My shorts have been made.-

1 & 2. Both books are by Maurice Maeterlinck.

• GROWING UP •

Poona,
20th June [1931]

Papu darling,

Thank you very very much for your letter^ from the tram. I am sorry
I could not reply immediately. During school days there is very little
nme left for anything. Today being Saturday, a holiday, I am trying to
reply to various letters I have received.

Tell Mummie that I have received the hair pins just now. Thanks
for them. I have also written to Psyche^ thanking her.

I do not know whether you will find me looking fatter or not. But
I have certainly become much fresher. For we have already had the
rams and it has become very cool and pleasant.

MrsVakil^ gives me all the fattening things she possibly can to eat.

Please send my books as Mr Vakil does not know what to teach
me. You might also send my big & smaU skipping ropes. If you can’t
find the small one never mind.

Write to me all about Mummie & yourself With all my love to
both of you.

Your ever loving,
Indu

Poona,

10th November, 1931

My darlingest Papu,

We have just come back from Sinhgarh. Now I am feeling very hungry
and very sleepy. So goodmght.

1 Letter not traceable.

2 Goshiben Captain (Psyche), a granddaught er of Dadabhai Naoroji, who was a
pioneering leader of the national movement in India.

CoonverbaiJ.Vakil. wife ofJehangirVakil, who along with her husband ran the Pupils’
Own School at Poona (and later in Bombay) Indira Nehru studied in this school
from 1931 to 1934

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

11th November, 1931

Good morning,

Now I am going to tell you all about Sinhgarh.We went by bus till the
bottom of the hill. It was nine thirty a.m. then. Then we started
climbing. The whole way was very steep and parts of it were rather
narrow. I walked up all the way. We had two dandis. The children sat
in them by turns. Both Mr & Mrs Vakil wanted me to sit, at least for
some time, but I would not agree. It’s fim — climbing. When we arrived
on top we found that [the] house in which we were to stay was locked.
It was nearly eleven then and we were feeling exceedingly hungry so
while we were waiting for the mali to come & open the house we had
food (we had brought some from Poona). We explored everything
and cleaned the place. We had tea & then our baths. Then we went
round Sinhgarh. We saw many things, among them were Tanaji
Malusere’s^ tomb & the place where his hand was cut off.

Lots & lots of love,
Your loving,
Indu

Love to Mummie.

Bombay,
27th December, 1931

Papu darling.

Yesterday morning at about nine o’clock Vallabhbhai came with
Maniben^ to see Mummie. We began talking about your arrest.^
Vallabhbhai was perfectly sure that you would not be sent to your old
home. After great arguments he went home and half an hour afterwards
we received a phone message from him saying that you & Sherwani'*
were guests of our Christian Rulers, That very morning we had had

1. Tanaji Malusere was one of the generals of the seventeenth century Maratha ruler
Shivaji, who defied the Mughal Empire and founded an autonomous state in Western
India. Sinhgarh is a fort associated with Sluvaji.

2. Maniben Patel: daughter of Vallabhbhai Patel, she was jailed for her part in the
independence movement.

3. Jawaharlal Nehru was arrested on 26 December 1931.

4. T. A.K. Sherwani: lawyer. President of the U.P. Provincial Congress Committee, 1 930.

• GROWING UP •

news of Ghaffar Khan’s^ arrest and most of the arrangements for
meeting and Hartal had been made. We had a huge public meeting at
Azad Maidan.Vallabhbhai was not well so he did not attend.

Mummie is much better. She had been having a little fever in the
evening but since yesterday she [her temperature] has been sub-
normal.

28th [December]

1 am going to the meeting just now so I must hurry. I could not write
earlier in the day as I went to meet Bapuji at the Ballard Pier. I will
tell you of the reception in my next letter.

Lots & lots of love & kisses,
Your loving,
Indu

Bombay,
ist January, 1932

Papu darling,

A few days ago I went to see a film of Bapu s reception. To my
astonishment I found that I had become a film-star without knowing
it. I was seen handing your letter to him. I look very funny. Yesterday
I saw you & Mummie also, in a show arranged by the Congress. You
were asking Mummie to smile. Both of you looked adorable.

The Working Committee^ sat till two thirty a.m. yesterday and
made all their plans for the next fight. Bapu thinks he will be arrested
very soon. He might come to see Mummie tonight.

With lots & lots of kisses & cargoes of love.

Ever your loving,
Indu

Khan Abdul Ghaffar Khan: Pathan leader who was a close associate of Mahatma
Gandhi

2. The National Executive of the Congress Party

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

I 6

Poona,

26th January, 1932

Papu darling,

On Saturday tlic 23rd we went to see a glass factory in Talegaon.
Talegaon is a village on the way to Bombay. It takes about twenty
minutes to get there from Poona. Our train was at seven fifty a.m.We
put on the alarm at five thiry, but we were so lazy that we did not get
up till after six. We walked to the station. We filled up nearly the
whole of the third-class compartment. All the way we sang songs,
shouted out jais and made a great deal of noise. When at last we
reached Talegaon we walked to the factory (we had not taken the
smaller children with us). We were shown how when soda, lime &
refined sand are mixed a paste is made. Glass is made out of this paste.
The paste is put in a pot which goes round and round. Thick iron
rods are dipped in the pot. By the rotation of the pot, the paste forms
a bubble on the rod. The rod is then dipped in some acid. This rod is
hollow and then a man blows through it till the bubble becomes long
and thicker. It is then placed in a mould & then the vase or whatever
it is, is nearly ready. But as yet it is stiU hot, so to make it cool it is put
in a light fire. Now the ends of the vase are still uneven so it is rubbed
on a big board. And then it is ready. Auntie [Mrs Vakil] bought a few
jars. Then we returned to the station, only to find that we had just
missed the train. Anyhow the next one was coming in half an hour, so
while we were waiting for it we had our lunch. Then we caught our
train & came back home.

Pupha’s term^ must be nearly over by now.

With lots of love and kisses.
Ever your loving,
Indu

1. Ranjit Pandit, imprisoned with Jawaharlal Nehru.

• GROWING UP •

Panchgani,

3.10.32^

Papu dearest,

After our interview, I went with Dol Amnia to A’bad. On the 27th we
went to Lucknow to see the Puphis. From there I came away straight
to Bombay. I travelled in third, in spite of the protests of many people,
including Dol Amma. I was quite comfortable & everything was all
right except the people — ladies were frightfully dirty, they ate pan all
the rime & spat all over the compartment. Most of my time was spent
by giving them lectures on cleanliness, of which they soon got tired
so they tried to be as clean as possible, which was a great relief.

The parcel of books, which you ordered for me from London has
arrived. As I did not stop in Poona I could not see them. But as you
have selected them, they are sure to be interesting.

How is your German getting on?^ Mummie is learning French
here. We have got a series of French lessons on gramophone records.
They are rather good and Mummie is progressing well. It is also
good for me, for if I do not keep it up I will soon forget my French.

You will perhaps be wondering about the funny way I have written
the date in this letter.This is how the Americans write it. Pupha showed
it to me in some book. The month is written first.

You asked for some snaps of Mums & myself. We have had some
taken. I hope you will like them. They are fairly good, specially
Mummie’s.

Every morning & every evening Mummie goes for long drives.
She also walks a little every day.

The mud in Panchgani & also Mahableshwar is red and so aU the
houses & the barks of the trees also become red. If you wear white
clothes or shoes & go walking, they will soon be of the same red
colour.

Panchgani is a small place & although it takes only two & a half
hours to run up here from Poona, it is very much cut off from the rest

of the world. It is quite dull compared with any other hill stations I
know.

^ Contrary to her usual practice, Indira is writing the date in the American mode. See
paragraph four of this letter.

While serving his prison sentence m Bareilly Jawaharlal Nehru was studying German

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

When I came here Pilloo & Mummie were the only occupants of
this house. But Mrs Bahadurji came three days ago — this house
belongs to Mr Bahaduiji. And Murree^ arrived this morning. That
means that there are six of us now & of course the servants.

Before I came away from Allahabad, after I came back from Bareilly,
Pupha took me for a picnic on the Jumna & of course on the
NagKanya? We also invited Mrs Higginbottom’s children & had heaps
of fun. We set off at about eleven o’clock and stopped on sandbank in
midstream. Here we had a nice long swim in the river, then we had
lunch on the sands under Pupha’s big garden sunshade. Then we set
off again to a huge rock island — called ‘Singhaven Devta’.We explored
the place tiU Tara, Rita^ & Robert (Mrs Higginbottom’s one and a
half year old grandchild) joined us. These three had not come with us
in the morning & had motored from Allahabad at three o’clock [and]
reached us in about half an hour. Next we played the gramophone &
had tea — we then played about & packed to go home. The kids were
sent off again in the car, while we came in the boat. The sunset on the
river is really wonderful. There are beautiful colours on the water al
the fiery red ball gradually disappears.

Oceans of love & tons of kisses,
From your loving,
Indu

I have written to Padmaja'^ and given her your message.

Chand has become very pink & sweet. It was her birthday on the
3rd & she was very excited about it. Our school is giving a grand
concert on the 26th. I do wish you were here to see it. Do you know,
I have been using a Spanish word for over ten years and only realised
it a fortnight ago. In fact I had thought it was my own invention and I
was a little annoyed at finding that in Spain it has been used for
centuries. Can you guess the word? It’s just ‘Papu’. I got this knowledge
from Mrs Wallace — ^Mrs Higginbottom’s daughter, who has been in

1. Pilloo and Murree: the children of Mr and Mrs D.N. Bahaduiji, with whom Indira
stayed in Panchgani.A friend of the Nehru family, D.N. Bahadugi w.-is a lawyer and
played an active part in the national movement.

2. Ranjit Pandit’s boat.

3. Rita Dar (nee Pandit): the Pandits’ youngest daughter.

4. Padmaja Naidu (Bebee); daugliter of Sarojini Naidu, active in politics and social
service. Governor of West Bengal (1956-66) and Chairman, Indian Red Cross
(1971-2).

• GROWING UP •

Spain. ‘Papu’ is father & ‘Mamu’ is mother.

Pilloo & others have already decided my future profession. That is
of course after we have got Swaraj [Independence] — till then every
one has just one job — fighting. Pilloo saw me helping Mummie with
the French exercises & decided on the spot that I would make an
excellent teacher. She told me that I should be a teacher of small
children, as I adore them & my hobby should be designing rooms,
clothes & jewellery, etc.

The other day we went to old Mahableshwar and saw the place
where the five rivers — ^Krishna, Savitri, Gayetri, Koyna & Yenna rise.
The people have built a temple on top of the place & have made a
cow (which looks like anything except a cow) out of whose mouth
the water of the five rivers falls. We also went to various points there,
from which we could have lovely views.

Have you begun my letters' yet? Of course I will not be able to
see them till — I do not know when. But still it is nice to look forward
to reading them, it does not matter after what period of time.

If you were here you would be very pleased with our food. We
have the usual things: vegetable, fish, eggs, etc., but our salad is extra
good. We get fresh leaves every day & everybody eats more of it than
anything else.

My eyes sometimes pain me whilst reading, so I will go to Bombay
& show my eyes to the doctor. And if necessary get reading glasses.

The South Kensington Museum is one of the few places in London
that I remember quite well. I also sometimes want to see it again.

Tons of love,
Indu

Bareilly District Jail,
23rd March, 1932

Indu darling.

It was good to have your nice long letter^ and to read of your doings.
And it was dehghtful to see you, even in a snapshot. I am reminded of
some lines of an old English poet when I get your letter and think of
you:

I -These are the letters’ later published as Glimpses of World History.
^ Refers to letter dated 10 March 1932 (No. 20).

• TWO ALONC, TWO TOGETHER •

When, dearest, I but think of thee,

Methinks all things that lovely be

Are present, and my soul delighted ...

So write to me long letters and tell me all about yourself and you
will give me pleasure and delight and the fortnight of waiting will be
amply rewarded.

I saw Mummie after just three months. She looked well and I
rejoiced. But she told me that you were not as cheerful as you might
have been, and sometimes you feel a bit depressed. Have you forgotten
the sovereign virtue of ‘plum pudding’? None of us, least of all you,
has any business to be depressed and to look it. Sometimes you will
feel a little lonely — we all do that — but we have to keep smiling
through it. It is easy enough to smile when everything is right. But
when everything is not alright? So, cam mia} you must not misbehave.

Ranjit Pupha told me at the interview that he was going to Bombay
and from there to the Konkan for a few days. He wanted to know if
you could accompany him. Of course you can. I hope you will go
with him and enjoy your little trip and then write to me all about it.

I cannot accompany you on your trips and excursions but I journey
none the less in my own way. I have been reading travel books and
\vith their help I have crossed great deserts and vast glaciers and visited
strange cities cut off from the outside world. With Sven Hedin^ I have
been across the Gobi Desert — ‘mother of pearl and opal and above,
dull sapphire’ — and joined a caravan which took me right into the
heart of Asia. With others I went to Kashmir and then to Ladakh and
on over the Karakorum Pass to Chinese Turkestan. And as I made this
mighty journey, I remembered vividly a little journey I had made, in
the same direction, long ago, even before you had come to us to
delight our hearts. It was in 1916 when I went Ladakh way and we
crossed the Zoji-La, the pass which takes one from Kashmir proper
to the high tableland which leads ultimately to Tibet. It was a wonderful
sight from the top of the Zoji-La: on one side thickly wooded Kashmir,
on the other bare rock with an occasional birch or juniper. From the
other side of the Zoji-La — La means pass — I made a little excursion
over the glaciers which had quite an exciting ending. We mounted up

1. My dear.

2. Sven Hedin: Swedish explorer His chief field was Central Asia and his book, The Gobi
Desert, was pubhshed in England in 1929.

• GROWING UP •

to about 17,000 or 18,000 feet and in crossing a huge ice-field I slipped
and fell into a crevasse. Nothing much happened as I was roped up
and was pulled out. But I had a delightful minute of suspense!

So I journey over mountain and desert and thus I satisfy the
'Wanderlusf — as the Germans say — that I have. And I make wonderful
plans in my head of the many journeys we shall make in the future.
Will you not come with me? And we shall go to our land of Kashmir
and explore many a beautiful but httle-known valley where the tourist
does not go. We shall journey on to Sonemarg and follow the old
caravan road to the heart of Asia. We shall go to Baltistan and Skardu,
where the snow leopard dwells, and cross many a little river by a rope
bridge, swinging us high and low over the rushing torrent, till our
heads feel giddy and our legs become just a wee bit unsteady. We
shall reach the mighty Indus, mighty even near its mountain home,
and even that we shall cross by a bridge of ropes. And so to Leh in
Ladakh and the Karakorum and away from civilisation and newspapers
and radio and cinema. And, if we so will it, we can foUow the paths
trod of old by Chengiz Khan and Timur and many a person famous
in old story. The great desert routes will try us and test our strength
and perhaps, just when we are feeling exhausted, we shall reach an
oasis and know the joy that fresh cool water can give, and later dehght
in the fruits of the desert — melons and watermelons and maybe
pomegranate!

Or, if you prefer, we can go another way and cross the Himalayas
into Tibet and go to Kailas and Mansarovar the beautiful. There is no
lack of places we can go to. The world is wide enough. Meanwhile
the world we five in is a bit narrow! But it is the best of trainings and
makes us appreciate many a thing which we considered too common
to think about.

I have been reading a fife of the poet Byron in French. There is a
good description in it of his stay in Switzerland. As I read it the Castle
of ChiUon came before my eyes and the Dents du Midi seemed to
ghsten in the sunshine. A little beyond was Bex, was it not? And then
Sierre, over which lies Montana!

You have asked me for French books — I am afraid it is difficult to
get them here and then I am no judge. Pupha might give you some.
But I have thought of a good way — I am writing to Mile Hemmerlin
and asking her to send you books and French periodicals. I wish you
would write to her also. She would like to hear from you. You know
er address: Ecole Nouvelle, La Pelouse, Bex, Suisse.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

I am also asking the Times Book Club in London to send you
some books. These are really not specially meant for you. They are
for myself. But you can keep them in Poona and send some at a time
to me. And of course you will read any that you want to.

I have stuck to my German and have worked quite hard at it for
the last six weeks. I have made some progress but it is not easy to pick
up new languages when one is grey and old like me! That is why 1
should like you to keep up your French.

Mummie has left with me her book — The Art of the Body by
Agniel — you told me that you had read it. Do you do any of the
exercises? How I love the panther crawl! I wish I could do it with you
and Chand. Keep up some of these stretching exercises so that your
body may remain straight and flexible and healthy. I should like you
to be like the deodars of the Himalayan forests — tall and straight and
slender and graceful and at the same time strong!

We have many companions here — squirrels and monkeys and
pigeons and bats — not to mention the smaller animals — ^bugs & beetles,
etc. The monkeys sometimes come in the daytime and make faces at
us. The bats of course come at dusk. We are not friends with them.
Nor are we friendly with a cat that comes at night in search of food.
The pigeons are pleasant to see and the squirrels are over bold. I
watch for many minutes at a time a little squirrel and if I do not move
it comes right up to me. How daintily it nibbles its food, sitting on its
hind legs! Sometimes we look at each other and I smile at it. Suddenly
a realisation comes upon it that it is very near a big mountain of a man
and it drops its food in dismay. It looks almost hypnotised and then
hops away.

I am sorry to say that I have not yet properly begun the series of
letters to you. I have tried without great success. It is a question of
mood. I have in a way to take hold of myself and twist myself round
and look at the past and not the present and the future. Once tlus is
done it is not difficult to write. I shall try the twisting process and I
hope to succeed.

So ‘Papu’ is Spanish! This is indeed interesting. I did not know it.
As you have been unconsciously using a Spanish word perhaps you
may find Spanish an easy language to learn.

I am sorry I cannot be present at your great school concert on the
26th. But I shall think of you aU that day and await your description of
it and specially of the part you and Chand played in it.

So you have decided your future profession. It is a very good one

• GROWING UP •

and of course one must have a profession. One cannot simply loll
through hfe, specially when there is so much work to be done. For
the present anyway each one of us has got his or her work cut out.

I have written you a long enough letter. I could go on of course,
but I must not presume too much on the good nature of the jail
officials.^ I am told that your hoUdays begin in about a month’s time.
If you hke you can come up then and pay a visit to your old Papu. But
you must not forget that Papu can stand much but he cannot stand
one thing — depression and a long face in Indu. So away with
melancholy and its brood and remember that your job is to keep
smiling! Laugh and grow fat and when I have news of this I shall
rejoice. ■

Soon we shall have Nauroz and a new year will begin. My love
and best wishes for you, my dear, and Chand for this year that is
coining and for many and many a new year.

Your loving,
Papu

Poona
[April, 1932]

Papu darlingest,

I am sorry I could not write in time for the last letter. But I got
practically no time — ^because of our ‘Variety Entertainment’.

Our show was quite a success. It was a joint affair of our school
and the Physical Institute. The first item was a play called ‘Vasant’ — by
us. In it there was singing, dancing — ^it is hardly possible for us to
have anything which does not include one of these. I wanted to send
you a booklet of it. but it is in Gujarati and you may not be able to
read it. I could not take much part because I only came to Poona
three or four days before the show. I was ‘Mallika’ (a flower) and had
to take part in most of the singing & dancing, Chand recited a funny

Hindi poem called Ek tha Adhela & also took part in an English playlet
‘Why?’

1- Nehru was allowed to write one letter a week to one member of his family He wrote
etters to other relations as enclosures to the main letter, a practice permitted by the
jau officials at their discretion.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Pupha came here sometime ago and left Tara & Rita. They are
both very happy & have improved in health — Rita has gained 1 Vi lbs
already They have made friends with the boarders and play about all
day.

Last time when I came to Allahabad in October I told you all
about our Sahitya Sabha [Literary Society], etc. When I came here
after seeing Mummie off [at] the station I found that our old working
committee had been changed — all except myself and two others.
Formerly our president was one of the teachers. He resigned, saying
that we should have a president among the students. So a new one
was elected. This boy used to boss over us and got on our nerves.
When I came from Bombay he began straight away with ‘Have you
done this & have you done that?’ Also at our meetings he used to say
all sorts of things. So I resigned & afterwards many others also. So
yesterday we had new elections. I am now president!

My Gujarati is steadily improving and I hope to be able to speak
fairly well by the end of two months. The Vakils, Chand,Tara, Rita &
some other children are going to a seaside town — Dumas — for the
holidays. When I go to Allahabad I will send Chand her bathing suit.

We have now got nearly forty children — boys & girls in our school.

We have school from eight thirty a.m. to eleven thirty. Then from
eleven forty-five to twelve fifteen we have our singing class — the extra
one. That is all the lessons we do except that I have one hour of
Sanskrit every alternate day. You will be pleased to know that I like
Sanskrit much better than I used to.

I have read all except one of the books you sent for from London.
I liked them immensely.

ilth [April]

Yesterday, we went to the wedding of Mr Vakil’s sister. I was interested,
as I had never seen a Parsi wedding before. I will tell you all about it.
The wedding always takes place in the girl’s house. First the girl’s
sister-in-law garlands both of them & puts the tika. Then the pair go
& sit on a new pair of chairs & the ‘Dustugi’ — that is a priest — says a
long prayer & throws rice on them all chat tinre. This lasts for about
forty-five mins. Then the man puts the ring on the woman’s finger &
they’re married. We spent the whole day there 6c enjoyed ourselves
immensely. We played lots of games & when we returned liere- — after
having dinner — ^Nve were dead tired. We were also late for school this
morning, as we could. not wake up early enough.

• GROWING UP *

We have decided to hold a sort of ‘Purnima Samelan’’ — we will
give some entertainments in the moonlight, on the 20th, that being a
full moon day. There are only ten days left before the holidays. I am
looking forward to them and specially as I will be able to see you.

We are learning two very nice Gujarati songs for the ‘Samelan’,
one is for the Garba we are going to do — ^it is aU about the joy of the
moonlight. The other is a translation from the Bengali, which was
written by Rabindranath Tagore. The translation is by Mahadeo Bhai
Desai.

Lots of love and kisses from your ever loving,

Indu-boy

[Allahabad]
[Wth May, 1932]

Papu darling,

1 got a letter from Mile Hemmerhn yesterday. She has mentioned the
following books:

Rowaiit Rollaiid by Stefan Zweig

Goethe by Ludwig

Michel Angc by Rolland

Lcs Paroles d’nn Croyaut by Lamermain

Lc Prisonuicr qtii Chaiitait by Bojer.

She says that these books are good & if you approve of them she
will send them. She also thinks that I should read Romain Rolland s
books on India.

The parcel of books from the Times Book Club also came yesterday.
It contained twenty-one books. “ AU evening I sat with one & finished
this morning. I have begun another, which is so good that some
newspaper has printed; ‘Give this book to your child & if after reading
^0 pages, he does not want to read more — send for the doctor.’

Ever)' day I have a long sAvini in our swimmmg-bath. My dive is
niuch better than before but as yet I cannot dive standing erect. But I

h A meeting held on a niglit of the full moon.

SceAppendix.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Se‘’trS"if ’1 “'? ' '’T “™'= ’

ie to do It. I also practise under-water swimming— I [am] terrible

Today is Puphi’s wedding anniversary; so we had metha hhatta) It
IS ten years since she was married. All I remember of the wedding is
that someone put melmdi on every one’s feet & hands. I also remember
something of the ceremony. At that time I was four years old.

Hills of love,

^ Ever your loving,

Indu

[Amnd BImum]
[AUahabadl
21st May, 1932

Papu darlingest,

s^rly this morning we were all waiting impatiently for
y ur letter (generally it comes on Saturday morning). But when the

an came we were very much disappointed. Anyhow I hope it
will come soon — perhaps tomorrow

™ on the verandah which is on top of the
pomco. It u quite cool thete and we don’t need a fan. All night ‘Chanda
s es down at us and keeps away the warmth. But I am afraid

irl foor nights I

Ltrh '"' r ^ ““t'in’cs one o’clock, I lie in my bed and

r,7ml*rTrr°“l make-such funny faces and

sha^ of^fiL”™' ™ “ “ack, black cLd in the

oWonJ^sh „ c u'" holes for the eyes and one

one of the elT mouth and the moon was peeping through

the world

Channe mein. 1 “f?' “ “ ''"7 interesting to watch the shapes

Sent nemo '“"8^' You can watch for hours

Without getting the least bit tired.

Fre^notls ” ^"‘hutsday or Tuesday-my parcel of

French books came from MUe Hemmerlin, There are forty books

• GROWING UP •

and all look interesting. They have got the most magnificent pictures
of the mountains and towns of ‘La Belle Suisse’.

23 rd May

Your letter^ was very welcome when it arrived this afternoon. As I
have already written, I had not been swimming till today. This morning
I went in for fifteen minutes.

Yes, MUe met Bapu atVilleneuve and later, when Bapu was passing
Bex she took all the schoolchildren to the station and they sang a
farewell song in French. Some of my old friends sent me presents
through Bapu. Mademoiselle sent a box of Swiss iced fruit — ^which
shows that she still remembers what I hke.

I am enclosing a hst of the books.^

I have read all the new EngHsh books except six or seven. Yesterday
1 received a small booklet. Labour's Song Book from London.

Mountains of love.
Ever your loving,
Indu

[Poona]
1st July [1932]

Papu dearest,

I hear that your interviews have been stopped for a month.
Although I am not there to see you Tm feehng pretty bad that you
won’t be able to see anyone from home for thirty days.

I m flourishing except for a bad cold & cough. Chand,Tara & Rita
are quite well & happy. Rita talks a great deal and has learnt quite a
lot of Gujarati songs. There is no peace for any one when she is in a
mood to sing.

2nd [July]

I would have written more but for the last few days I am not very
well. This morning I suddenly felt very giddy & fell down. Mrs Vakil
sent for a doctor, who said that my tonsils were very much inflamed &

1 Letter not traceable.
2- See Appendix.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

I was developing adenoids. He gave me a medicine, to be taken four
times a day. At present I have 101.4 temp, but it is nothing to worry
about, I will soon be all right. So 1 finish.

Lots & lots of love & kisses,
Ever your loving,
Indira

[Poona]

27th [September, 1932]

Papu dearest,

I have just returned from Yeravda Prison.^ Bapu was looking very
cheerful and certainly much better than yesterday. Yesterday he was
very bad and the doctors were very anxious. And specially when we
read that the cabinet was going to meet on Wednesday, we did not
know what was going to happen. I stayed the whole day with Bapu
and it was terrible to wait for the telegram to arrive, when the old
man was getting weaker & weaker. At noon the Superintendent gave
the good news that the tele, was on its way to Poona. Padmaja, Mummie
and I rushed to the market and got the best oranges & other fruit that
we could get. When we got back, we found that there was yet some
time for the telegram to come, so we waited and each minute seemed
an hour. When at last the telegram came, Bapu said that he would not
break his fast, till Dr Ambedkar^ had heard the contents of the telegram
and agreed to them. Dr Ambedkar was in Bombay, and it would have
taken quite a lot of time for him to come. And it was already nearly
five o’clock and Bapu does not eat anything after six. So everybody,
including Dr Tagore and the jail authorities, persuaded him not to
wait for Dr Ambedkar. So immediately I prepared the juice of two
oranges for him. Then Dr Tagore sang a Bengah hymn and the Ashram
people sang Bapu’s favourite bhajan ‘Vaishnav Jan’. Then Bapu drank
the juice and everybody was given fruit and sweets as the parshad.
Then we all went home — chappy after an anxious day.

Today I am in an extra good mood, for I think that is the happiest

1 . Indira is describing the end of Mahatma Gandhi’s ‘fast unto death’.

2. Dr B.R. Ambedkar. leader of the Depressed Classes, who played a significant role m
drafting the Constitution of India.

• GROWING UP •

day we have had for a very long time. It is Bapu s sixty-fourth birthday^
and he has begun eating fruit and he is much better than before.

We have a holiday today, and we celebrated Bapu’s ‘Sal gira’
[birthday] by having lots of singing. We invited many people & made
the poet the president of the occasion. He read one of his poems of
the Gitanjali. He did it very well & we all liked it immensely.

I think it is very wonderful, how one man can do such a lot. Up till
now I had thought Bapu a great man, no doubt, but I had somehow
never thought him capable of this. So this fast has made a great
impression on me and has taught me a great lesson. These last seven
days have been terrible. Till the 30th morning I had every hope that
Bapu would be all right. But on that date, when I saw his condition,
I thought he would not survive. And from eight o’clock to twelve
were some of the worst hours I have spent in my life. But now I am
perfectly assured that Bapu can do the most imaginary things.

I am sending some snaps of Mummie & myself They were taken
atjuhu, when I went to Bombay a fortnight ago — I am wearing Goshi’s
bathing costume — ^it is big enough for two people like me to get into
at the same time. The dog in one of them is ‘CoCo’ and he belongs to
Perin.^ He swims very well & we had great fun with him on the
shores of the Arabian Sea.

Lots of love and kisses.
From ever your loving,
Indu-boy

[Dehra Dhh Jail]
3rd October, 1932

Darling Indu,

I liked reading your vivid account of Bapu’s last day of fast. You were
very fortunate in being near fum during these trying days, though it
must have been a great trial for you and all others with him. You were
present at his Delhi fast of twenty-one days also. Do you remember

In 1932 according to the Samvat Calendar Mahatma Gandhi’s birthday fell on 27th
September.

- Penn Captain: a social worker and freedom fighter Like Psyche she was a
granddaughter ofDadabhai Naoroji.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

it? That was a much longer fast but it appears that Bapu suffered more
this time during his weeks fast. I am not surprised at the impression
all this must have made on you. Bapu is an extraordinary man and it is
very difficult to understand him. But then great men are always difficult
to understand, and there can be no doubt that he is among the greatest
of men. It is amazing how he conquers his opponents by his love and
sacrifice. By his fast he has changed the face of India and killed
untouchability at a blow.

You have met, probably for the first time, another great son of
India — Rabindranath Tagore. He is very different from Bapu, but he
is a great writer and artist and it is a privilege to meet him.

Poona was the centre of India for some days and all eyes were on
it. You were in the middle of the excitement. Some little bit of the
excitement came here too, as elsewhere, and we followed developments
anxiously. I was so pleased to get a long telegram fronr Bapu. He took
the trouble to tell me in it that he had seen you and Chand & her
sisters and that you were looking well!

WeU, the excitement is over now and Bapu leaves his mango tree
and goes back to his cell,^ and you go back to your school routine,
and I, well, I remain where I was! And I read and write and spin and
stand on my head.There is a new diversion. We have got baby squirrels.
Two of them were picked up one day in our barrack and my
companion here took charge of them and became their nurse. I named
them Tit and Tat. They were very small and required a deal of care.
My friend spent most of the day cleaning them and feeding them
every two hours and sunning them and playing about with them — I
joined in the last activity. Quite a cunning way was devised to feed
them and a very serviceable feeding bottle was made out of a fountain
pen filler and cotton wool. Cotton wool beddings were made for
them, and altogether they got more care than the average baby boy or
girl does. We grew quite fond of them and as they grew they became
friendlier and used to run up to us. But the place they liked best was
a pocket, where they would curl themselves up and rest quite content.
But this was not to last long. Litde Tit fell ill and began to behave in a
strange way. One day it got stuck in a mousehole and in trying to pull
it out, its tail came offl It did not long survive this tragedy, and that was
the end ofTit. Curiously enough on that very day a ffiird little squirrel

1. Mahatxiia Gandhi had undertaken his fast in the open compound of" the jail under a
mango tree.

• GROWING UP •

dropped down from a branch in our barrack and was caught. So again
we had two. I named the new one Twee. Tat and Twee soon made
friends and are now on the best of terms.

Soon you will have your birthday and you will actually become
fifteen — what a big girl you are now. I have been wondering what
you would care to do when you grow up, what your special subject or
business in life would be. Of course there is no hurry to decide this
for many years, but if one wants to do anything it is as well to do it
well, and to do it well one has to be trained for it. When one goes to
the university one has to choose one’s subjects accordingly. Some
time or other you would naturally hke to go to a university and study
some subjects which you like. In India today we are placed m a great
difficulty, for almost all the universities are official and neither you
nor I would care to have anything to do with them. Besides they are
not much good and I do not care for the way they teach. The few
non-official universities in India are better in some ways but they are
not much good either. No one can say what will happen in our country
during the next few years and it is difficult enough to make plans for
the future. It seems to me however that it would be a good thing if
you went to a foreign university when the time for this comes. A
foreign university might mean an English university or a Swiss or
French. I would personally like you to spend a Httle time at both an
English and a Continental university. But all these are castles in the air
at present. I have merely mentioned them because I have been thinking
about them and I wanted you to give some thought to the subject.
There is just one question which arises now. If one has to go to a
university some kind of entrance examination has to be passed for it.
If one keeps this in view one can easily prepare for it. I do not like
examinations as a rule but to some extent one has to put up with
them.The only examination I can think of which is available m India,
is the Cambridge Senior. Perhaps there are others which I do not
know of. I should hke to discuss this matter with Mr Vakil, as he
might be able to make a helpful suggestion. Perhaps you might show
him this part of the letter and have a talk with him on the subject.
Then you can write to me what you and he think about it.

I do not like the snapshots Mummie has sent me. They are no
good. Send me a better one of yours.

Love,
Your loving,

Papu

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

[Poo/m]

4tli October [1932]

Papu dearest,

In my last letter^ I forgot to tell you that on 20th September, when
Bapu began his fast we all fasted here & had prayers. We also entered
a new pupil. Of course pupils are entered nearly every week. But this
was a new kind — one, like whom we have never had before. Can
you guess who she was? She was the daughter of our mehatranfi — an
untouchable. Of course she is to be taught free of charge. Her clothes,
books, etc., will also be supplied by the school. She is five years old &
her name was Ura, but we had changed it to Urvashi. She is very
sweet & also bright. The first day I bathed her & so she is very friendly
with me.

About two months ago on the Coconut Day & some bigAkadashf
holiday in August we all went to Bijapur and saw the palaces made by
the Mughal kings'* at the time of Chand Bibi.^ The first & last thing
we saw, was the best. It was the Gol Gumbaz.^ The most marvellous
thing about it was the whispering gallery. We tested it by whispering,
talking, shouting & singing. Even the tick of a small wrist-watch could
be heard distinctly by people standing right at the other end. I do not
know the exact distance, but I can say that it was a great deal. Another
we liked very much was the Asar Mahal;^ this had very fine old frescoes.
First we had put up at the travellers’ bungalow. But the food was
simply rotten. We could have stuck to it, but it was also very expensive.
So Mr Mirchandani invited us to stay with him. Mr Mirchandani is
the Asst. Collector of Bijapur. He was very kind to us & we enjoyed
ourselves immensely. When we were returning we shouted,
‘Mirchandani Kaka ki Jai3 He also presented our school library with an
expensive set of Children’s Dictionar}', consisting of eight volumes. He

1 . Refers to letter dated 27 September 1932 (No. 26).

2. Cleaning woman.

3. Festivals in the Maharashtra region.

4. The p.ilaces were actually built by the Bahmani Rulers of the region.

5. Queen of Bijapur in medieval times who fought against the Mughal Emperor Akbar.

6. Circular dome, a seventeenth century building in Bijapur. Its dome — IH
diameter — is one of the largest in the world.

7. A palace in Bijapur built at the same time as the Gol Gumbaz.

• GROWING UP •

told us about your visit to the place just before your arrest.

All revoir, Papu darling and with heaps & heaps of love & kisses, I
close.

Ever your loving,
Indu-boy.

Dehra Dun Jail,
23rd January, 1933

Indu darling.

Our interview after seven and a half months has come and gone, and
you are again far away in Poona. It was good to see you looking
healthy and well, but what is the good of having brief interviews and
trying to msh through all one has to say with one eye on the watch all
the time? Of all the many things I wanted to tell you and ask you, very
few came to my mind at the time. I shall not see you again for many
months.

I have written to Mr Vakil suggesting that you might prepare for
the Cambridge Senior and not for the Matriculation. The Senior will
probably fit in better with a future course of study in Europe. Where
this future course is going to be I do not know. We shall have to
consider this later on together. There is no hurry. Much will depend
on what you want to be. Have you thought of this ever? Last year you
wrote to me once that you wanted to be a teacher. To teach others is a
very wonderful thing but of course one can only teach after one has
learnt a lot oneself. There are many other fascinating kinds of work in
the world but to do anything well a great deal of training is necessary.
Boys or girls in India have not had many professions or lines of activity
open to them. Large numbers of boys want to become lawyers or
take [entrance examinations into the civil] services and even girls are
trying to go the same way. But this is just a way to earn money. It is
not good enough just to earn money, although in our present world
some money has to be earned. What is far more important is to do
something that is worthwhile and that does good to the larger society
we live m. I dislike intensely my own old profession, that of a lawyer.
1 call it an unsocial profession, for society does not profit by it. It
makes people selfish and just clever enough to exploit others. I would
not therefore call the lawyers profession a worthwhile one. He does

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

not create anything or add to the good things of the world. He merely
takes a part of other people’s belongings.

There are other unsocial professions also like the lawyers. Indeed
the most honoured people in India still are those who do nothing at
all and merely live in luxury on what their parents have left them. We
need not consider all these unsocial people.

What are the social and useful forms of activity? There are so many,
I cannot even give a list of them. Our present day world is so
complicated that thousands of kinds of activity are necessary to keep
it going. As you grow and study and your circle of knowledge widens
you will have some glimpse of these varied activities. Millions of
people in different parts of the world producing goods — food, clothing
and innumerable other things; millions of others carr5dng these goods
to others and distributing them. You buy something in a shop. Behind
the shop there are aU manner of factories and machines and workers
and engineers, and behind the factories are the fields and mines
supplying materials. It is all very complicated and fascinating, and the
worthwhile thing to do is for each one of us to help in this useful
work.

We may be scientists, for science today is at the back of everything;
or we may be engineers or those who apply science to man’s everyday
needs; or doctors who apply science to lessen human suffering and
root out diseases by hygiene and sanitation and other preventive
measures; or teachers and educationists training aU ages from babies
up to grown men and women; or up-to-date modern farmers on the
land, increasing the yield of the land by new scientific devices and
thus adding to the wealth of the country, and so on.

What I wanted to tell you was that we are all members of a huge
living thing called society, which consists of aU manner of men and
women and children. We cannot ignore this and go our way doing
just what we please. This would be as if one of our legs decided to
walk away regardless of the rest of the body! So we have to fit in our
work so as to help society in functioning. Being Indians we shall have
to work in India. All manner of changes are going to take place in our
country and no one can say what it -will be like a few years hence. But
a person who is trained to do something that is worthwhile is always
a valued member of society.

I have written all this just to make you think on the subject. Of
course I want you when you grow up to be strong and self-reliant and
well trained for useful work. You do not want to depend on others.

• GROWING UP •

3 5

There is no hurry to decide.

If you go to Europe to carry on your studies you must know French
well. I should have liked you to know German too as this is very
useful in many things. But that can wait. The younger you are the
easier it is to learn languages.

Do you know, you are just about the age now that I was when I
first went to England with Dadu and was put in Harrow School. That
was long long ago — twenty-eight years ago!

We had hail here today and all the mountains are covered again
with snow. You were not lucky enough to see this fine sight.

All my love and kisses,
Your loving,
Papu

[Poona]
28th January, 1933

Papu darling,

There are two more boarders now — ^both sisters. They are Parsis firom
Bombay. One is my age and the other is only a few months older
than Tara, but she is nearly as tall as Chand. Jamnalalji’s^ son — Kamal
Nayan — is also coming to study here. He will stay here, but his food
will be cooked by his own cook in a separate room. He is about
eighteen, but is very tall & broad. He will look hke a giant amongst
the rest of us. He will most probably come by this evening.

Auntie [Mrs Vakil] has now kept a matron to look after the house
and the children, apart from school hours. She is also coming today. I
haven’t seen her yet — she is a Parsi. Some days ago we had the election
of the working committee of ourVidyarthi MandaP (we have it every
term). Everybody wanted me to be the general secretary again, but I
refused. It’s such a lot of work and I’d been doing it tiU now and was
quite tired of it. So now I’m the nyayadhish — judge. I have to settle
the quarrels of the children and see that everybody keeps our rules
properly. This is the post in which one has to do the least work.

Jamnalal Bajaj' a businessman and industrialist who was prominent in the freedom
struggle.

2 Students’ Union.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Tomorrow our school is going to a picnic to a place calledVithalvadi.
We will start in a bus at seven thirty and will return in the evening.
The place is a very beautiful spot some miles from Poona. It is a
stream on whose banks there are nice shady trees. It is the ideal place
for a picnic.

With a huge big hug and a bagful of kisses.

Always your loving,
Indu

Delira Dun Jail,
7th February, 1933

Indu darling,

You must have been not a little surprised to find from the postcard I
sent to Mr Vakil that I had changed my mind about your appearing
for the Matric. I must apologise to you for this quick change! When
you came here we hardly talked on this subject. I dishke the Matric as
an examination simply because it is meant to open the door to some
of the universities here which I do not fancy. So I told you not to
bother about it. I also wrote accordingly to Mr Vakil. Two days after
writing to him I received a letter firom him. In this letter he mentioned
several things which made me change my mind. The first was that
many of your fellow students were preparing for the Matric and it
would make it pleasanter for you to study with them and have a
common aim. To work singly and on one’s own account is apt to get
rather boring. The preparation for the Matric would not come in the
way of your Senior later on but would be a help. And then exams are
funny things. If one is not used to them, one gets worried and flustered
at the time and is unable to put down even what one knows. This is
just a question of getting used to it, as there is no reason why one
should worry. Mr Vakil suggested, and I think rightly that a simpler
exam like the Matric would help you in getting used to exams and
then later whe'n you appear for the Senior you would feel much more
at home. These were the reasons which made me change my mind. 1
hope you agree. I gathered from Mr Vakil’s letter that you were quite
agreeable to take the Matric. So go ahead! By the way, when is this
Matric?

Your school, as you know, is a private school. One might almost

• GROWING UP •

call it something between a home and a school. As such it has certain
advantages which an ordinary school has not got and at the same time
there are certain disadvantages. The advantages are that you get more
care and attention and affection and a kind of home life. That is a very
great thing and it has made me happy to know that you are with
friends and are well looked after. If you had been at an ordinary
school I would have been anxious about you. The disadvantages of a
private school are that you have few companions. A big school is a
world in itself and prepares one in a way for the wider world, or at
any rate for the university. At present you may feel rather cooped up
occasionally and wish to have more companions. But soon enough
you will enter the wider sphere of a university or wherever you go to
continue your studies and you will have crowds of companions there.
You have a bare year more for your present school work. A year is not
a very long time. Employ it to fit yourself mentally and physically for
the bigger world you may enter next year.

I am interested to know that now you are the NYayadhtsh of your
school society. If this means less work for you, your school children
must be very well-behaved.

I hope you enjoyed your picnic to Vithalvadi.

Love from your loving,
Papu

Dehra Dun Jail,
2i$t February, 1933

Darling Indu,

Yesterday I sent you two books. One was a child’s book, Toolteoo. I
hope you wiU not think it beneath your grown-up dignity to receive
a book for children!

The other book was Bernard Shaw’s play Saint Joan. Do you
remember seeing this play in French in Paris, when a little Russian
woman made a charming Jeanne? We also saw the play in English
later but I do not remember if you were with us then. It is a very fine
play. Some parts of it may strike you as a bit dull. But the story is a
great one and it bears reading and re-reading. As Jeanne is an old
favourite and heroine of yours, you will like it.

Mummie writes to me that someone from Austria came to see her

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

accompanied by Bijju Bhai^ and he offered to take you away
immediately to Vienna for schooling! Vienna is a very beautiful place;
it is the home of music. The Viennese are delightful people but their
country is having a terrible time at present. Puphi told me that a
German lady, who stayed in Anand Bhawan recently, was keen on
making arrangements for your education in Germany. Plenty of people
seem to be interested in your future education besides your father
and mother! Well, perhaps some day, before very long, you will go
away to a far country to carry on your education, leaving us rather
lonely here. We have trained ourselves for it by long spells in jail!
Anyway, we shall put up with it of course, for it is more important that
you should have good training and every opportunity to fit yourself
for the work that may lie ahead of you, than that we should have the
selfish joy of seeing you fi:equendy and having you near us.

Dol Amma or Dadi — what do you call her now? — ^will probably
go to Poona next month. Bapu wants her to stay there for a while
near him.

Love from your loving,
Papu

Dehra Dun Juil
20th March, i933

Indu darling,

. . . I am writing to you today, specially as in a few days there will be
Nauroz and the new year (according to the Samvat Calendar) will
begin, and I must send you my love and good wishes for this New
Year.

I am sending you a book also as a Nauroz gift. This is Van Loon’s
Geography. The writing part of it is not up to much and is full of errors
and wrong statements. Allahabad, you will be interested to know firom
it, is the holy city of the Musalmans, because of its name! Besides I do
not like his style of writing, American or whatever it may be. But the
pictures are really good. The outside cover happens to be a map of
the world. Take it off and give it to Mr Vakil. He might like to hang it
in school.

1. Braj Kumar (B.K.) Nehru, son ofjavvaharlal’s first cousin Brijlal Nehru.

• GROWING UP •

Some time ago you wrote to me about the delights of having a
good imagination and imagining all manner of things. Imagination is
certainly an excellent thing so long as it helps us on to act in this
world. But if imagination means just losing oneself in the air and
losing contact with the world and what one has to do in it, then it is
not much good, and it is apt to make one just a selfish little cloud of
humanity thinking of oneself and of nothing else.

I do not know what you will do in after life. It is difficult, and not
necessary, to decide so early. But whatever you do I have hoped that
you will do It well and distinguish yourself in it. I have wanted you to
play a worthy part in the world and to be full of life and intelligence
and activity. I hope you will do ‘so.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

Dehra Dti/i Jail,
3rd April, 1933

Indu bien aimk}

My interview will fall due on 25th April. I should like you to be
present then. If you are delayed in reaching here by a day I can
postpone the interview for a day or so. But I should not like to
postpone it for long as Mummie will be waiting for it here.

I am glad you are doing Chemistry. Chemistry was one of my
special subjects in wliich I took my degree at Cambridge. The other
subjects were Geology and Botany. I am afraid I do not remember
much that I learnt in those far-off days. And yet, the study of science
makes a tremendous difference to a person and I am very grateful to
science for the help it has given me in life. The help has been chiefly
in the training it has given and the outlook of the mind. It was because
of my early scientific training and outlook that I wrote those letters to
you to Mussoorie, which were published later.

Almost all our modern life is based on science and a person who
does not know something about science is rather lost in the modern
world. Science really means the finding out of truth by experiment,
and not merely accepting facts just because somebody has said so.

1 Loved One.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Please tell Mr Vakil that you will be spending most of your holidays,
with us (or near me) in Dehra Dun. I hope both Mr & Mrs Vakil are
well now and will have good rest after their strenuous term-time.

All my love, sweetheart. I am looking forward so much to seeing
you.

Your loving,
Papu

Dehra Dun Jail,
2nd May, 1933

Indu darling,

You were not looking the picture of health when I saw you that day!
I hope you have got rid of your pain and fever. You must have caught
a chill. The weather is so changeable here and one must be careflil. If
you have still any pain in the neck have it massaged with the almond
oil I gave Mummie.

Don’t read too much here — ^walk and run and generally live a
physical life. Of course too much of the physical life is apt to be
boring and the luind must be kept well oiled and functioning. But
the holidays are not meant for hard mental work. Also I have often
felt that you read rather fast. In doing so one is often liable to miss
much in a book. Some light books of course have to be read fast;
there is little in them. But a worthwhile book deserves a little more
time and attention. Think of the pains and the great deal of thinking
that the author has put behind what he has written, and when we just
rush through it we miss his real meaning, and forget soon enough
what we read.

A very good habit to develop is to keep a notebook in which we
can jot down anything that pleases us or strikes us specially in a book
we read. These notes of ours help us to remember much and we can
always go back to them with interest. In jail I have specially developed
this habit and I am now running my seventeenth notebook!

I hope anyway that you will read my series of letters to you rather
slowly and a bit at a time. Don’t rush them; otherwise they will bore
you tremendously. They are not very light reading.

During our last interview I talked and talked and talked. Terrible,
was it not? Like a tap left open! Next time you will have to do the

• GROWING UP •

talking and I shall listen; and if I try to talk too much, stop me. I keep
bottled up for two weeks and then when I get a chance I am apt to
rush away with it.

There are plenty of birds in Dehra Dun at present. I wish I knew
all their names. I suppose your garden has many of them. There is the
koeJ of course, and the ‘brain fever bird’, I think that is the name. Why
this curious name has been given to it I don’t quite know, unless it is
because its persistence is likely to give people brain fever! I must say
that it IS very trying sometimes. Its four notes are pleasant enough but
ceaseless repetition night and day — ^rain or sunshine — ^is too much of
a good thing. It goes on hour after hour. I do not know its Hindustani
name but it is referred to in a variety of ways. People here say its four
notes mean main sola tha^. Up in the hills they say the bird sings
Knklial Pako,^ kakhal being something grown in the fields. This is the
time for it to ripen & so the bird announces it! You can imagine
almost anything out of the four notes — utho jago? A powerful noise it
makes — it carries a good way.

Bapu has hurled another thunderbolt'* at us and I do not know
what is going to happen.

Au tevoir, bien aimee and love.

Your loving,
Papu

Dehra Dun Jail,
16th May, 1933

My darling Indu,

I was just thinking that you ought to pay a little visit to Mussoorie,
and had decided to write to you about it, when news came that you
were going to do so. I am glad you are going or perhaps have already
gone. Dehra Dun is at the best of times rather a quiet and dull place
and I don’t suppose you have many acquaintances here. A little change

1 was sleeping.

2- The crop is ready
3. Rise awake

A fast undertaken by Mahatma Gandhi in support of the untouchables, whom he
called Harijans.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

now and then will do you good and cheer you up.

That is as it should be. We are all sometimes rather apt to get hot
and bothered. But it is rather siUy, don’t you think? And it makes us
look a bit ridiculous to others. No one who is excited and worked up
looks his best. Of course we can’t always help getting a Httle excited
but it is always a sign of a crack in our education or training. After all,
what is the whole end and aim of education — from one point of
view at least? It is; not to be hot and bothered whatever happens and
to fit oneself to the people one comes across and try to cooperate
with them. In India, I am afiraid, one is always coming across people
who are losing their tempers and generally making a nuisance of
themselves. Perhaps they think that they cut a fine figure, not realising
how siUy they look. They shout and curse at servants, a thing you
hardly ever see in the West. In England, among decent people, it is
considered the limit of bad form to shout at a servant, for the poor
servant is not in a position to answer back. It is like kicking a person
who is down. And yet in India most people indulge in this degrading
habit.

You seem to have frightened Bebee about my health and she has
sent me a letter fuU of worry and anxiety. How did you think, my
dear, that I was languishing away? Perhaps the long stream of talk that
I indulged in! I am keeping remarkably well and little things, like
applying iodine for an old pain at the side, have nothing to do with it.
In your letter you tell me that you had a terrible headache. Do you
know that I hardly know — in spite of my forty-three years — ^what a
bad headache is — or for the matter of that even a mild one?

We have had two interviews, you and I, and on both the occasions
I have done most of the talking. A jail interview is not a natural way of
meeting; one feels a little constrained and the time limit oppresses
one. Still, I would like you next time to teU me something about
yourself and your school and what you would like to do. If you do not
tell me how you feel how can I help you? The secret of doing a thing
well, whatever it may be, is to cooperate Avith others in the doing of it.
Do you know that in school and in homes there are supposed to be
two kinds of children who do not make good progress and who give
a lot of trouble? They are called problem children. One is the spoilt
child who has been used at home to getting everything he or she
wants without working for it or any other trouble. The other is the
neglected child whom people at home, usually in large fatnihes where
there are many children, ignore and who is thus not properly looked

• GROWING UP •

after. Both the spoilt child on the one hand and the neglected one on
the other get little chance of cooperating with others, of working
together with others in a common undertaking. So they do not develop
the habit of cooperation and all their subsequent troubles are said to
be due to this. It is because of this that they become what one called
problem children who offer special problems to their teachers as to
how to deal with them.The spoilt child when he or she goes out into
the world expects everyone to pat him on the back aU the time as he
was patted at home. Of course nobody does so and the spoilt child
gets very angry and blames everybody when really the fault is his
own and not other people’s. The neglected child has been badly
treated at home and is not used to meeting people. So when he goes
out, he keeps apart from others and feels dissatisfied and angry and
blames everybody.

This is not so with children only, but with grown-ups also. Most
of us are either spoilt or neglected and so have grown up rather
crooked and we are always blaming others for our own faults. The
right thing of course is to be neither; to be something in between the
two, healthy in mind, meeting others and always trying to cooperate
with them and doing one’s own share of the job without expecting
others to do it.

Children, naturally, do not and cannot understand all these niceties.
They behave as they have been taught to behave or as they have seen
others behave. I am writing all this because you are a sensible girl and
I can speak to you more as a friend than as a daughter of mine. I
know you will understand. Your father was himself a bit of a spoilt
child. For many years he was the only child, for his sisters came long
afterwards, and only children are apt to be spoilt by their parents by
too much affection. I suppose he still bears traces, and very evident
traces, of having been spoilt not only by his parents but by so many
other people! You are an only child also and a dearly loved one and
perhaps unconsciously your parents and grandparents have spoilt you
just a wee bit also and made you expect much in the world that you
may not find there. I cannot judge, neither can you, for we are both
partial and we are too near each other to have a good view. But I
imagine that however much we may have erred, led away by our
exceeding love for you, recent events or rather public happenings
since your childhood upwards have strengthened you and stiffened
you and pulled you up from the spoilt variety which always thinks of
itself and little of others.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

I do not know why I am writing on like this. It is more of a talk —
as if you were sitting by me. What I began with was this — that I should
like you during our next interview to have a talk with me about
yourself and your school and your ideas in general about the future.
As you know, your time in your present school will end before long.
What is more important is the next step and we must have a talk
about that and discuss it among ourselves and cooperate together to
make this step a real good one. So, my dear, that must be the
programme for 23rd May, nine a.m. But only if you are willing and
will cooperate.

I hope Rust Quhan Rust, photographer] will make some good
pictures of you both in a frock & in a sari.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

There is a delightful story about a lion cub in the New Statesman I am
sending. It is at page 503 & is called ‘The Lion that Lost its way’.

28th May [1933]

Mon cher^ Papu,

On the 6th we will have our last interview and then I will go back to
Poona and will not be able to see you tiU after your release. Anyhow
we will write every fortnight and think of each other every day.

Nineteen hours more and Bapu will be sipping orange juice. Every
day we eagerly looked out for the newspapers to find out his condition
but somehow from the very beginning we never expected to find that
there were any complications. Indeed if there had been the slightest
trouble I would have been surprised. Wonderful old man Bapu is.

Tomorrow at about the time Bapu breaks his fast Mummie has
asked twenty Harijan children to come here. They will be bathed,
dressed in khadi and given some food.

Eternally your loving,
Indu

1. Myde.'ir.

• GROWING UP •

Dehra Dun Jail,
30th May, 1933

Indu bieu aimee.

Yes, a week today we shall have our interview, the last for a long
while. It has been very delightful to have seen you so many times
during these past weeks. Jail interviews are of aU things perhaps the
most unsatisfactory, and yet one must learn to be thankful for small
mercies, and even these unsatisfactory meetings become like oases in
a desert.

The photographs were really too bad. The one in profile is not so
bad but I do not care for that very much either. I am surprised at Rust
making a mess of the job. It is obvious that you are feeling
uncomfortable and being made to pose and smile to order and that
would spoil any photograph. It is absurd to try to smile m this forced
way. A photographer should made the sitter feel as unself-conscious
as possible. The sitter should really forget about the photograph.

During our last interview, as usual, I held forth to you for a long
time and gave you what I considered was good advice. But too much
good advice is a nuisance, is it not? I hope I did not bore you too
much. I am so anxious to be of some help to you if I can that I
sometimes run away with my ideas. The world is not always a pleasant
place to live in and all manner of problems arise. So, thinking that
perhaps I can help you, I sometimes \vrite to you or talk to you on
these subjects.

It is a very foolish thing to shut our eyes to difficulties and problems.
They do not vanish away by our following the example of the ostrich
and burying our heads in the sand.There is conflict and trouble enough
in the world. Let us face them and where necessary even take part in
the conflict. But this does not mean that we should create conflict or
imagine conflict or trouble where there is none. The world is
troublesome enough. Why make it worse? Can anything be more
foohsh? And yet that is exactly what many of us do by picking out
faults in others and imagining grievances.

The thing to remember is that it is unworthy and undignified to
run away fi-om trouble. Real troubles have to be faced and if necessary
fought; imaginary troubles are to be removed by frank talks. To mope
and nurse a grievance secretly is a sign of weakness and foUy. It is
most undignified. Discuss the matter, have it out, try to understand

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

the other party’s viewpoint, and tell him or her your own. Probably
our misconceptions will be removed by this and our anger will
disappear even though we may not agree with the other party.

There are many things which deserve our anger; many things
against which we have got to 6ght. Are we going to waste our energy
and our strength and our righteous anger over the trivial things of life
or the really big things? Only foolish persons get angry at obstacles.
Does one get angry at a stone against which one has stumbled, or
shout out at the darkness because we cannot see? So also with the
human beings we come across. It is no good shouting at them or
getting angry at them. Try to understand them, try to cooperate with
them and, if necessary, even fight them, but don’t lose your temper or
your self-control.

I write all this although the time is yet distant when you will have
to face the big problems of the world. For the present you must not
worry about these things. You must keep care and worry away fi:om
your youth and grow up healthy and strong in mind and body.

There is a passage written by Bernard Shaw which appeals to me
tremendously. It runs as follows:

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose
recognised by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly
worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a
force of nature, instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments
and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote
itself to making you happy.

I hope you will have an enjoyable three or four days in Mussoorie
and return freshened up with bright eyes and a bright heart and a
touch of pink m your cheeks! And so, carissima mia, auf wiederseheii^
(which is a siUy mixture of Italian & German).

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

1 . My dearest, till we meet again.

• GROWING UP •

Dchra Dun Jail,
27th June, 1933

Darling Indu,

I TOS very glad to get your letter’ from Poona.

But the importance of science really consists in teaching us the
way of experiment, and training our minds so that we may apply this
method to life’s problems and difficulties. If more people had a
scientific training there would be far less of unreason and bigotry and
conflict in the world.

As for my recommending to you good books to read, I shall gladly
do so.

Why don’t you read some of the famous old novels in English and
French? They ^vill be light reading and at the same time good reading.
Dickens, Scott and Thackeray are all good in their way and each very
different fi-om the other. You may like one and not the other. Victor
Hugo or Dumas are fascinating. Reading these classic French stones
you will improve your knowledge of French.

There is a strange magic about good literature which is wonderfully
refi'eshing and soothing. This magic comes to us slowly as we make
friends with good books, and when we have begun to feel it, we have
found the key to the wonderland of books. They never fail us, these
friends that neither age nor change. They have been dear companions
to me, especially in prison, and I have got more pleasure from books
than from almost anything. There is only one other thing which is, in
Its own way, more magical, more wonderful, and that is music. I have
always regretted my ignorance of it. How much I have missed because
of this! Literature, art, music, science — all make our life rich and deep
and varied. They teach us how to live.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

Letter not published

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

[Poo/w]

2 fid July, 1933

Papu darling,

I can never express myself well in letters. But there is a strange pleasure
in writing to you — I feel I am in quite another and a very happy
world.

About a week ago Mrs Naidu^ came to see me. I told her I would
like to see Bapu and she took me there.^ Bapu was not very pleased
at my delay in coming to him and as soon as I told him my difficulty,
he arranged for the car. So now we have decided that every Sunday he
will have a car sent between ten and eleven. Today I ■will probably
have my lunch at Parnakuti. Bapu is much better now and very
cheerful. He cracks jokes in liis usual old way.

My eyes were troubling me since some time. Mr Vakil took me to
a certain Dr Patvardhan to be examined, the result being that I will
have to wear specs all day — whether I am reading or not.

We have changed our style of eating altogether. We eat pure Gujerati
food exactly in the Gujerati way. We have left off meat & fish. I like
this food much better and find it agrees with me.

There is a strong rumour here that you are going to be released in
time for the meeting on the 12th.^ One can never rely on these
rumours.

My fondest love,
. Indu

Delm Dun Jail,
11th July i933

Darling Indu,

Rumour is a shameless thing — it has been called ‘a lying jade’ — and

1 . Sarojini Naidu; nationalist leader and poet.

2. Mahatma Gandlu was staying at Parnakuti, tlie residence of Premhla LadyThackersey.

3. This was an informal conference of Congressmen, where proposals for the
unconditional withdrawal of the Civil Disobedience Movement were rejected, but
Mahatma Gandhi was authorised to meet the Viceroy in order to negotiate a
settlement

• GROWING UP •

must never be taken seriously. You will have to wait for me for at least
two more 12ths. Meanwhile Mummie has gone to you and that should
be enough.

I am sorry to learn of the trouble you have had with your eyes.
Of course if the eye doctor says so, you should wear glasses. The
trouble will probably pass after a while if care is taken at an early
stage. My eyes have never given me any trouble whatever and I have
not had to wear glasses at any time, although I read a lot. Perhaps
this is due to my general good health. Wash your eyes regularly with
boric lotion. A little rose water added on makes it very refreshing m
summer. Do you know how 1 wash my eyes every day? I use a lota
for an eye-cup and fill it with fresh water! What I like doing is to
have a basin full of fresh water into which I can put my face and,
opening my eyes, roll them about in all directions. This rolling about
from right to left and left to right and diagonally and in a circular
way IS good exercise for the eyes. When we read we keep them in
one position for a long time and naturally they get tired. Rolling
them in fresh water refreshes them greatly, just as stretching a tired
arm. But if you start rolling your eyes before other people they
might begin to suspect your sanity!

I am glad you visit Bapu regularly. He must be very busy just at
present.

Love from your loving,
Papu

[Vile Parle]
lull November, 1933

Papu darling,

This is just to wish you very many happy returns of the day.

I wanted to send you something but nothing is available in Vile
Parle. And we don’t go very often to Bombay. Kaka went yesterday,
but it being a hartal day I did not like to buy anything. All I can give is
my love. And this has always been yours and always will be.

Often I do and say things which I ought not to. And sometimes

you get angry. Of course it is my fault — but will you please forgive
and forget?

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

I work quite hard. But there is not much possibility of passing this
year . . .

Ever your loving.

Indu

How old are you now?

Love

Indu

[Anaiid Bhaum]
Allaliahud,
14th November, 1933

Indu sweetheart,

This morning I received your letter,' well timed to reach me on niy
birthday. When one gets so old as I am birthdays are not quite so
welcome as they used to be. But a birthday letter from you is always
very welcome and your few lines made me happy.

But why did you suddenly think of apologising for something
that I do not know? ‘Forgive and forget’ — what am 1 to forgive and
forget? There is seldom any question of forgiving and forgetting
between friends, and I hope you and I are friends, though you happen
at the same time to be a dearly loved daughter. What is far more
important is for people to understand each other.

My age is becoming a delicate subject, not fit for public reference.
I was born on the 14th November, 1889 — so you can calculate it. The
date is a hundred years after the storming of the Bastille, which took
place in 1789 and began the French Revolution. That is something to
help you to remember it by if you think it worth remembering.

Why do you say that there is little possibility of your passing this
year? Of course you wnll pass and pass well.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

1 . Refers to letter d.itcd 1 1 November 1933 (No. 42).

• GROWING UP •

[ Vile Parle]
27th [November 1933]

Papu

I went to Bombay with the Vakils on Saturday morning and returned
today in time for school.

The Tagore week is in full swing. We saw their — Santiniketan
Artists’ — exhibition on Saturday morning. There were 140 pictures
by the Poet liimself.” Most of these were of course far above me, but
fortunately I had read an article on them a few months ago and this
enabled me to understand the quaint lines better than I would
otherwise have been able to.

On the whole I liked the pictures very much especially one by
Nandalal Bose.^ It was a full length ‘live’ picture of a Buddhist monk.
The face and hands were beautiful but the expression of the eyes was
something indescribably marvellous.

After the exhibition I had to go to a party at the Tata Palace — that’s
where Tagore is staying — Mrs Naidu, Chhori Puphi & Raja'* were
also there. From here we went for a long drive and walked a while in
the Hanging Gardens. Arriving home (Auntie’s house in Bombay)
we dressed and had food and then went to see the show by the students
of Santiniketan — Sap Moebau. This was perfectly wonderful. It was
full of songs and dances and the actors did not speak and I must say
the acting was very good. It was the first thing of its kind that I had
ever seen and I was charmed. ,

Tagore has grown much older and weaker ever since I saw him
last in Poona. He is far from well and has come here in spite of the
doctors orders to stay at home.

The chief object of liis coming with his party is money. They are
very hard up and the boarding is becoming worse and worse. We are
try'ing to get a purse ready in Vile Parle but we have very little time at
our disposal and so I do not know how far we will be successful.

Totijours la tientie,^

Indu

Darling.

The reference ii to Rabindranath Tagore, the Nobel Laureate, who was the founder
3 Univenity at Santiniketan.

.indal.ll Bose- Bengali artist prominently associated with Santiniketan.

- Hiithecsing, husband of Jawaharlal’s sister Krishna.

Ever yours.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER

^nqm, Bliawan,
Aliahnbai,
1st January, 1934

Indu sweetheart,

Today is New Year’s Day and my thoughts travel to you and I want to
send you all my love and good wishes. We did not see very much of
each other during your brief stay here but it was a delight to have you
even for a few days. I am afraid we shall not meet for three or four
months and even when we meet then it will be perhaps for a twenty-
minute interview! But I shall feel happy in the thought that you are
growing up in mind and body and fitting yourself for the great work
you will have to do in afterlife.

Mummie sends her love.

Love & kisses fi:om your loving,

Papu

Vttarayan’,

Santiniketan,

Bengal,

19th January, 1934

Darling Indu-boy,

We had three and a half very strenuous days in Calcutta and now we
are at Santiniketan. We arrived here this evening and were welcomed
by the Poet and all the students and staff who had gathered together.
The Poet read out some lines in welcome which were very beautiful.

We have been put up in the Poet’s own house. We have got
delightful little rooms with fascinating furniture — ^low chairs and tables
and little artistic knick-knacks. Art is of course the strong point of this
place and everything has the artistic touch.

Tomorrow we shall go over [to] Santiniketan and Sriniketan, where
the farm is. I shall have a talk wdth the Poet and later with the students
and staff. And at night we shall again take to the train and journey on.
Our next halt will be Patna. We are staying there for the day to see
Rajendra Babu and confer with him about relief work for the
earthquake areas. There has been terrible destruction and loss of Hfe

• GROWING UP •

and large numbers of children are homeless.^

We felt the earthquake distinctly in Allahabad on the 15th. I was
standing at the time in the verandah speaking to a crowd of kisans.
Suddenly I Started wobbling and when I discovered that it was an
earthquake I was interested and greatly amused. Nothing much
happened in Allahabad but in Bihar it has not been a matter for
amusement. Whole cities have been destroyed. Did you feel the
earthquake?

All my love (and Mummie’s also, although she is asleep!).

Your loving,
Papu

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
25th January, 1934

Darling,

It is the eve of our Independence Day^ and I am sitting down to write
to you wondering when I shall write to you again from Anand Bhawan
and from this library table where I have sat, surrounded by my books,
for so many long hours, month after month. I love the company of
books, even when I have no time to read them. They stand there, row
after row, with the wisdom of ages locked up in them, serene and
untroubled in a changing and distracted world, looking down silently
on the mortals that come and go.

I rather liked Santiniketan and so did Mummie. I think it will be
a good thing if you spent a year or so there. You may not have comforts
there but that is a little matter and one should get hardened a little. It
IS a remarkably peaceful place. There is a German there who is a
Buddhist monk. He teaches both French and German. I do not know

t The province of Bihar was rocked by a major earthquake on 1 5 January 1 934, which
resulted in substantial loss ofhves and destruction of property. The Congress set up
a Relief Committee under the chairmanship of Dr Rajendra Prasad, a prominent
nationalist leader from Bihar, to assist the people of Bihar in overcoming the after-
effects of this earthquake.

2 As decided at the Lahore session of the Congress in 1929, a pledge to struggle for
complete independence was first taken by people all over India on 26 January 1930.
Until 15 August 1947 this day was observed as Independence Day.

• TWO ALONH, TWO TOGETHCR •

how good he is at his work but he had an attractive face, as Buddhist
monks often have. The art section is of course very good. If you go
there I think it would be a good thing if you took up painting. Nandalal
Bose, the man in charge of the art section, is one of the leading Indian
painters of today, and he is a good teacher. But all this is rather
premature. We can discuss it later when the time comes.

One idea, however, appeals to me. I want you to get to know the
various peoples of India and if you go to Santiniketan you will pick
up Bengali and get to know the Bengalis a little better. You know
some Gujarati now and perhaps a little Marathi.

And now I must say an revoir and end this letter with my love,
which indeed you always have.

Your loving,
Papu

[Telegram] Allahabad,
12th February, 1934

Indira Nehru,

Ghorbunder Road,

Vile Parle

Am going back to my other home for a while all my love and good
wishes cheerio.

Papu

Presidency Jail,
Calmtta,
13th February, 1934

Indu bien aimee.

So I am back again to my other ‘home’, as I wired to you.^ It was time
I came, for I was very tired with the various activities I indulge in and
badly wanted a respite. My nine days in Bihar, touring the earthquake

1 Refers to letter dated 12 February 1934 (No. 48).

• GROWING UP •

5 5

areas, were a tremendous strain and I reached Allahabad day before
yesterday dead tired. I shall have plenty of rest now — perhaps too
much of it!

I thought of you a great deal today. Today was the day of your
examination and just before it began the news of my arrest must have
reached you. I hope this did not worry you in the least. It should have
acted as a fiUip!

My trial has been fixed for day after tomorrow, the 15th. I do not
know what will happen afterwards and whether I shall be kept in this
jail or elsewhere.

You will be busy during the next two months or so with your
examinations. I am sure you will do well in them. Take them easily
without worrying at all. And then I hope to see you, wherever I may
be at the time.

All my love, cara mia.

Your loving,
Papu

[February, 1934]

Papu darlingest,

I got your telegram^ just as we were setting off for our exam — we had
to come up to Bombay for it. But I have got accustomed to these
surprises and have learnt not to be very astonished at whatever happens.
But I’m glad you sent the telegram, it’s much better to get the news
that way than fi:om the papers.

The mght before we heard of your arrest, Goshibehn had a dream.
She saw you playing with a sweet little child who was sitting on a wall
and suddenly a man came and arrested you. The poor child was left
alone and it began howling. Goshibehn woke up with a start and told
her husband that you had been arrested; he wouldn’t believe it then,
but later they both saw it in the papers. She was so cut up that she sent
me a basket full of lovely flowers.

My exam finished on Saturday. I did rottenly in Arithmetic but
made up in Algebra and Geometry. On the whole I did quite well
and think I wiU get the form for the Matric.

Refers to letter dated 12 February 1934 (No 48).

• TWO ALONi;, TWO TOGTTHTR •

We arc giving a show on 10th March. It is Tagore’s Tlic Cycle of
Spring. The dialogue is to be in Gujcrati but the songs are in Bengali.
A boy from Santinikctan teaches dancing to the boys. Mrs Vakil and
three of the girls go to Menaka’s^ dancing class to learn the technique
of Indian dancing. Mrs Vakil leaches the schoolgirls dancing.

The Matric will take place somewhere in the middle of April,
and I will arrive home in the end of that month. So till then, on revoir.

With tons & tons of love and all my kisses,

Your loving,
Indu

Alipiir Central foil,
Calcutta,
ist March, i934

Indu bien aint6c.

So you have had your first examination and must be feeling
tremendously relieved. But then the other one hovers in the distance
and perhaps worries you a little.

The line of work I have chosen for myself in life is such that 1 can
never settle down safely into a rut. Always I have to face novel situations
and I have frequently the sensation of appearing repeatedly at the
examinations that life has a way of thrusting on us. They come
suddenly and there is no course laid down which one can prepare!
And life has become for me a long succession of tests. Sometimes I
succeed and sometimes I am not so succe-ssful. But the curious thing
is that the final and real judge of this success or failure is oneself
Others, of course, pass their opinions on it, and often they praise
when there is little to praise, and often they condemn or are indifferent
when a real victory has been won. But in one’s heart one knows, or
ought to know, the real measure of success or failure.

I was interested to learn of Goshibehn’s dream. Give her my love
and tell her to dream of better and more useful things than my arrest.

Love & kisses from your loving,

Papu

1 . A well-known exponent of classical Indian dance.

• GROWING UP •

57.

Alipoie Central Jail,
Calcutta,
30th March, 1934

Darling Indu-boy,

Bari Puphd & Ranjit Pupha & the children are going to Kashmir at
the beginning of May for six weeks and they suggest that you might
accompany them.

Kashmir is a place well worth visiting and as you know it is our old
homeland and has a special claim on us. Long, long ago we left it and
since then the whole of India has been our home. But the httle corner
of India which is Kashmir draws us stiU both by its beauty and its old
associations. We have not been there for seventeen years or more and
you have not been there at all. It is worth visiting when you have the
chance. I should have liked Mummie and you both to go there but I
do not know if she will agree as this will mean leaving Dol Amma by
herself.

All my love,
Your loving,
Papu

[Srinagar]
28th May [1934]

Darling Papu,

As yet we have not been out of Srinagar. Indeed we have not even
seen anything of the place except round about our house and the
post office. Yesterday we went to the Nishat Bagh^ and Puphi agreed
to go only because the Vakils insisted & persuaded so. By the way, I
forgot to mention about the Vakils. Of course I knew in Vile Parle that
they were spending the summer vacations in Kashmir & when I
arrived here I made enquiries about them at the post office and was

2 .

Elder aunt,Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit.

A terraced garden created by the Mughal Emperor Jehangir in the seventeenth
century near Srinagar, the capital of Kashmir. The garden is a popular picnic spot
even today.

• TWO ALONI.TWO lOGLTHI.R •

told that they were in Kashmir & came every few days for their letters.
So day before yesterday I left a letter for them at the P.O. asking them
to come over if they had time. Well, that very morning about an hour
and a half since I had been at the P.O, I saw them at our gate. Apparently
they had also made enquiries about me. I went back with them to
their houseboat & spent the rest of the day there. It’s quite a nice
place.

I talked with Kaka’ about Santiniketan. It appears that Soniben—
Raja Bhai’s sister — has a cottage in Santiniketan, in which she stays
whenever she goes there. Now that she is in Bombay it is not in use.
Kaka suggested that as the boarding will not be a convenient place at
all for me, specially the food, 1 might write to Soniben, asking her to
let me use the cottage. I could take a servant from Allahabad who
would cook for me & also do some of the other work. Of course I
could help him. Kaka says that otherwise it is very probable that I
should fall ill soon after my arrival. Do you tliink I should do this?

I love this place, even the little I have seen, and I’m glad I came.
The sweet [children] are ever so sweet but very' dirty. Puphi and I
often make plans that years later we are coming back here and are
going to open a ‘Scrubbing Washing Home’ for children!

With much love and kisses,
Ever youn,
Indu

54‘

[Srnw^flr]

11th June, 1934

Darling Papu,

By now I have seen quite a lot of Kashmir. A few days ago we went to
Achhabal. It is a beautiful place and Puphi tells me it was even lovelier
when she came in 1916 — before I was born. The present luali
[gardener] is Samat Klian’s son and he remembered you and said he
still had a few old suits of yours which were given to him when you
came here before going to Harrow! What a very long time ago that
seems and yet he remembered everybody. While we [were] in the
gardens some local musicians entertained us. Their voices were awful

1. Jehangir Vakil.

• GROWING UP •

but I liked the Kashmiri song very much; it was something about
flowers and was just suited to the beautiful atmosphere of the place.
Do you remember you all camped in these gardens in 1916? Naturally
our brief stay revived old memories and Puphi was very sad.

In this wonderful land, no matter where you are you get a lovely
view of the snow-covered peaks which surround it and the beautiful
springs. I don’t think the waters of Kashmir can be compared with
those of any other country. They have a standard of their own. All the
gardens have fountains in them, which play every Sunday. And on this
day those near Srinagar are crowded with people of aU descriptions,
caste & creeds, even the poorest Kashmiris sally forth with their
samovars.

We went to see several temples which are now in ruins. They were
built on the most marvellous sites imaginable and are stiU magnificent.

The wood carving, papier-mache and embroidery are lovely. It is
such a pleasure just to watch the shops. One of the leading shop-
men — he calls himself ‘Ganemede’ — invited us to tea. The tea
contained soda, salt, butter & some spices & was a lovely pink in
colour. I rather hked it but Puphi felt sick.

The other day Subhadu Didda came with her husband. We were
talbng about the flowers & trees of Kashmir and she said that she
liked the poplars but didn’t care for the chemrs as they were just like
the peepals of the rest of India! This was quite a blow to me. Ever since
I first saw the chenar, I’ve been lost in admiration. It’s a magnificent
tree.

The cherries and strawberries are almost finished. We used to eat
them aU day (I used to put on my shorts & chmb up the cherry tree),
but Nikku Chacha^ says we did not do justice to them.

I miss you very much. It’s awful to be on hohday when those you
love aren’t with you.

With all my love and many kisses.
Always your loving,
Indu

1- Kanwarlal Kathju (Nikku):-a cousin ofjawaharlal Nehru.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Dehra Dun Jail,
15 th June, 1934

Indu darling,

About Vakil’s suggestion that you might take Soniben’s cottage at
Santiniketan and set up a separate establishment there with a cook,
etc., I am afraid I do not agree at all. I dislike very much the idea of
your keeping apart from the ‘common herd’ and requiring aU manner
of special attention, just as the Prince of Wales does when he goes to
school or college.This seems to me to savour of vulgarity and snobbery.
It is a bad beginning to make in any place to shout out to the people
there that they are inferior beings and you are a superior person
requiring special and particular treatment. Do you think any self-
respecting boy or girl would care to make friends with you under
these circumstances? And what would the teachers & professors, who
run the college there, feel? Would they not feel that they had been
insulted to some extent by our having made our own arrangements
over their heads? No, this kind of thing wdU never do. Wherever we
go we must keep on a level with our surroundings and not imagine
that we are better or superior. It is better not to go to a place than to
go as a superior person. If you even desire to work among village folk
or poor factory workers, how do you think you would live with them
or visit them? As a society lady wdth a scented handkerchief to keep
off the bad smells, occasionally patronising them or doling out charity
to them? That is not the way to meet your kind or to do human
service. This method of charity and condescension irritates me
exceedingly and I have no use for it.

I think I have told you that it has long been my desire that a part of
your education — and every boy’s and girl’s education — should consist
of real honest work in a factory or in the fields. Unfortunately this
cannot be arranged in India under present conditions but this idea of
mine wall give you some notion of what I think of education. If you
went to work in a factory do you think you could do so as a superior
person living apart and in a much better way than the others? The
idea is absurd. The very object of going there is to learn from the
sufferings, discomforts and misery which surrounds and wraps up
the great majority of people; to see the drama of real life; to become
akin to a small extent at least with the masses; to understand their

• GROWING UP •

6 I

viewpoint; and to get to know how to work so as to raise them and
get them out of their misery. This cannot be done by people who live
m cotton wool but by those who can face the sun and the air and hard
Inang. However all this does not arise at present and much will depend
on what ideals in life you have. I cannot impose my ideals on you. If
you want to make your life worthwhile you will have to decide for
yourself what your life-philosophy should be.

There is no question of any such great decision before you go to
Santiniketan. As a matter of fact that is a delightful place and I am sure
you will have no physical discomfort there. I think you should stay
wherever the college authorities put you. Take the food also as it
comes. If it does not agree with you you can say so to the matron or
other friends there and get it changed or added to. My fear is that you
will be too much looked after there, not too little.That can’t be helped
because you happen to belong to a notorious fannly. But you must
not put a barrier between yourself and the other students.

Do you know what I had to put up with at Harrow? We never had
a full meal at school unless we bought it for ourselves. As junior boys
we had to wait on the seniors as fags, get their goods, clean then-
places up, sometimes clean their boots, carry messages for them, etc.,
and be continually sworn at by them and sometimes beaten.

So I think you had better go to Santiniketan without making any
special arrangements. I have already written to them there and they
will fix you up. Murmnie can accompany you when you first go.

I am glad you are enjoying your visit to Kashmir and are growing
fond of the place. What is a month in Kashmir? But look upon this
month as an introduction to the place.

My love to all your party & to you.

Your loving,
Papu

Santiniketan,
7th July, 1934

Darling Papu,

Santiniketan at last! I was never so excited as I was last night — at least
before joining a boarding school. I had heard such a lot about this
place, for and against, that I was longing to judge for myself Many

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

people came to see Mummie and told her not to send me here,
describing all the various disadvantages & discomforts of the place.
But I noticed that all these people who did not Hke S. had never been
here and had only second or third hand information. Everyone who
had stayed here said I would love the place. And now here I am! And
I had better give you my opinion of the place. As yet I have only seen
the girls’ hostel & the office and have had a glimpse of the Library &
Kala Bhavana.^ Everything is so artistic & beautiful & wild. And to
cap it all, we have come in the best season. It is during these months
that S. is at its loveHest.

The only difficulty here will be the language. Bengali is a very
sweet & nice language . . .

We went to see the Poet just now. I rather like his funny little
house with every room on a different level. It must be fun to go up &
down all the time. Gurudev [Tagore] suggested that I do some
gardening in my free time. He seems to be very fond of it and was
complaining that so few girls take it up.

In my next letter I will be able to tell you about the ‘real’
Santiniketan — what it is like under the cover of beautiful surroundings

& artists.

S-6«6c>3

With lots of love,

Your loving,
Indu

Santiniketan,
16th July, 1934

Darling Papu,

Regular classes have begun. The History class is by far the most
interesting and I look forward to it. You know my subjects are English,
idindi. History, Civics & Chemistry. Chemistry seems to be out of
place, unless one takes the science course. The Principal suggested
Logic instead, but as you wanted me to take it up and I also like it, I
attend the Chemistry classes.

I have also joined the painting classes & dancing.

I can now understand a little Bengali &c can also say a few sentences.

1 . The College of Art at Visva-Bharati.

• GROWING UP •

But it is not enough to carry on conversation in the language. The
older girls are not very social & won’t mix at all. So we new ones have
formed a group of our own. We get on very well together, and so life
is not as miserable as it would otherwise have been.

Mrs Tagore,^ the Poet’s daughter-in-law, is the Superintendent of
the girls’ boarding school. She comes here twice a day and is very
kind. The matron is a Danish lady, wife of Mr Chakravarty,^ the Poet’s
fonner secretary who is now somewhere m Europe or America. She
has been here for eight years and is thoroughly Bengali in all her
ways. Her litde daughter can express herself only in Bengali. But the
lady IS very good and takes great care of us all.

Heaps of love & many kisses.
Always your loving,
Indu

Burdwan,
29th Atdgust, 1934

Papu darling,

I was very glad to have been able to see you before leaving Allahabad,
even though we could not say much to each other.

I am writing this in the waiting room at Burdwan station, as I am
not sure of getting enough time at Santiniketan.

You were rather irritated at my asking you about Manohar Bhai’s
staying at Anand Bhawan and at the interview I could not explain the
necessity of so doing. But I would like you to know that it was
absolutely necessary. Do you know anything about what happens at
home when you are absent? Do you know that when Mumnue was
in a very bad condition the house was full of people, but not one of
them even went to see her or sit a while with her, that when she was
m agony there was no one to help her? It was only when Madan Bhai
came that she got a little comfort and with your release everything
was changed — people flocked fi:om all directions, came to ask about
her; sat with her. Now that you have again gone and Madan Bhai

1- Pratima Devi: daughter-in-law of Rabindranath Tagore.

Amiya C. Chakravarty: member of the academic faculty at Santiniketan, secretary to
Rabindranath Tagore, 1926-33.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

cannot come as often as before, there was some danger of Mummie
being left to herself as previously, and so we thought of Mannu Bhai.
But the latter is very sensitive and as several members of the family
resent his presence, they are rude to him & have insulted him on
several occasions, he says that although he is ready to bear everything
for Mummie’s sake, he would like to have your consent — so that at
least he may not be regarded as an intruder in the house.

As soon as Mummie is strong enough she should be removed to
any place outside Allahabad & she is sure to improve rapidly.

But please don’t worry'; she is much better now and will soon be
well.

You were not looking too well yourself. But that I suppose was
due to the strain & irregularity of sleep & meals, which you underwent
during your brief stay outside jail’ and I hope you will take exercise
and get better and do take care of your food, etc.

Yours for ever,
Indu

Santiniketan,
16th September, 1934

Papu darling.

Those few days we were together in Anand Bhawan were just
wonderful and I shall never forget them. It was like a beautiful dream
to find you with us and to be near you for some days. But it was too
good to last and suddenly I woke to find the high walls of Naim
separating us. We were so near and yet so far apart. And now that 1
have come to Santiniketan we are further apart. Most of the year you
are in your ‘other home’ and even when you are out, we are not very
much together, yet I miss you so much. Sometimes one feels so lonely.
It is awful when surrounded by crowds & amidst all their chattering
and playing, their rowdiness and noise, one has the feeling of being
alone. Yesterday while reading one of Gurudev’s novels I came across
this hne — ‘How terribly lonely is he, who misses companionship iii
the midst of the multitudinousness of life’ — (I am not sure whether
these are the exact words). I liked it very much — it is so true.

1. Jawaharlal was on parole for twelve days from 12-23 August to see his ailing wife

• GROWING UP •

Everything has been settled about my French. The lessons will
begin from day after tomorrow. My teacher, Govinda Brahmachari, is
a German monk. He seems to be a nice man.

We are getting a month’s holiday for the Puja in October — 9th
October to the 12th November. I am looking forward to it as it means
going to Mummie.

I get a p.c. daily from Allahabad informing me of Mummie’s
progress. This is a great relief, and as everyone here is anxious to
know I have to learn the content of the card by heart & repeat it to
almost every person I come across.

With all my love & kisses,
Always your loving,
Indu

Clidudra BIwwaii,
Bhoivali,
[18] October, 1934

Papu darling,

Bhowali is a nice place . . . Both the cottages are neat &r mce, though
the rooms are queerly planned. We get quite lovely flowers and a very
beautiful view of the Bhiintal Lake Sc another smaller one — I forget
the name. On every side there are mountains. Beliind the one just in
front IS ‘Sattal’’ It is a beautiful place. There are seven lakes close
together & reminds one of SMtzerland.

I have not written anything about Mummie, as the doctor could
give you a much more accurate report than I could manage. Since our
arrival she is definitely more bucked up and looks brighter & more
cheerful. I am writing this in her room, as the nurse has gone for her
breakfast. Mummie sends you lots of love.“

I hear that it is probable you might be transferred to Nainital or
Almora, and in that case you wall be allowed to see Mummie now &
then. If you are, you will need plenty of warm clothes. Your achkatis

A tourist spot in the hills in Uttaranch.il Tal means a lake

Kamala Nehru’s health detenorated in the summer of 1934. She was admitted to a
sanatorium in Bhowali. As Jawaharlal was, at the time, in prison, Indira accompanied
her mother to Bhowali.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

are in a trunk in Mummie’s dressing room and I have left a blanket or
two with Upadhyaya. Ask him for anything in the line of clothes that
you may need.

Madan Bhai & Feroze^ have made a plan of making BuF & me fat
and make me consume enormous quantities of food-stuffs. I have
begun taking meat again, I might mention.

Always your loving,
Indu

Ahnora District Jail,
30th October) 1934

Darhng Indu,

I am installed here in a lordly chamber which is big enough probably
to contain both your litde cottages. It has fifteen windows of various
sizes, and a door, so that there is no danger of my feeling cramped or
stuSy. Here I sit in solitary grandeur and when I feel weary of this
expanse of emptiness I can go out into a yard close by where I can
trot up and down. It is a decent-sized yard and there are a few faded
flowers there — chiefly marigolds and candytufts planted by some
predecessor of mine. The jail is situated on the ridge of a mountain
and I can only see the sky- from here and just a bit of a distant mountain
or the top of pine trees. This gives one a curious feeling of being high
up on the top or roof of something, cut off from the world. The sky
seems to be so near and to envelop us. It is a pity I can’t see the snows
from here — the walls intervene.

I shall look forward to seeing you here soon.

Love,

Your loving,
Papu

1. Feroze Gandhi; a young political worker of Allahabad, who devoted himself to
helping Kamala Nehru in her pohtical activities. He married Inchra Nehru in 1942.

2. Khurshedben Naoroji, grand-daughter of nationaHst leader Dadabhai Naoroji.

• GROWING UP •

Bhowali,
2nd November, 1934

Papu darling,

I know you wiU feel rather irritated when I tell you that we have not
been to Ranikhet yet. But it could not be helped — the last few days
have not been good ones for Mumnue, her temperature began rising
(it went up to 101.2 on the 30th & 31st) and she felt rather weak &
low. Day before yesterday A.P.' was performed for the fifth time. As
more air (380 c.c.) was pumped than ever before, she felt a little
uncomfortable in the evening but the next morning showed
improvement and since then she has been quite cheerful. We weighed
her this morning and found that she had gained three lbs since last
week. Her weight now is eighty lbs.

We, that is Bui, Feroze & myself, intend doing Ranikhet & Almora
in one trip, if possible. We could go to Ranikhet in the morning, have
a good look at the snows and buy the jams if we can get them — I hear
the Government Gardens have stopped making them. Then we could
proceed to Almora, spend the night in the Dak Bungalow & interview
you the next morning.

We have some quite amusing jokes at the expense of Mrs
Gutteridge — that’s the night nurse. The latest is that supari makes one
passionate. Last night, at about nine, I was surprised to hear some
shouting in the kitchen, as generally we are aU in bed by that time. So
1 called Hari^ to ask what the matter was & found that the nurse was
lecturing the cook as to the eSects supari had on one’s temper!

Mummie sends you love — she is quite bucked up since she knows
that she is gaining weight.

With lots of love.
Ever your loving,
Indu

f Arti6dal Pneumothorax: a form of treatment in which the lung is collapsed by
^ introducing sterile air or oil into the pleural cavity.

Hari Lai: Jawaharlal Nehru’s personal attendant, elected to the U.P. Legislative
Assembly in 1937.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Sandniketiin,
14th November, 1934

Darling Papu,

Well, here I am, back at Sanriniketan, feeling bored stiff, as the classes
won’t begin till tomorrow and missing Mummie terribly. Of coune I
miss you too, but though I was much nearer the jail in Bhowali 1
could only see you once a fortnight and that for a short while, and
with Mummie I used to spend most of my time. Since I left Bhowali
on the 8 th there is no news of her and even though I know that she is
well on the way to recovery, one can’t help feeling anxious.

I am thinking of giving up the morning chhota hazri^ given here. It
consists of puris and dal generally. And this sort of meal at six in the
morning does not agree with me. However, I have decided to have
my own breakfast, consisting of brown bread & butter, milk and fresh
fruits.

I would also like to have some sort of tuition in Hindi. As you
know I have not had any grounding in Hindi and know nothing
whatsoever about grammar and the like. I have never written a Hindi
essay in my life and so I do not know what I’ll do when the exam
days are approaching.

Ever your loving,
Indu

Almora District Jail,
26tli November, 1934

Indu bien aimee,

I have had a little outing from jail and have visited Bhowali and seen
Munmiie. I went on Friday last, spent the night there, and returned
on Saturday morning. I was very glad to see Mummie again after
nearly a month but I wish I had found her better than she was. She
has not been keeping well lately.

I am glad you have decided to have a more sensible breakfast than
pmis and dal Paris may be excellent but at six in the morning they are

1. Breakfast.

• GROWING UP •

not very inviting.

Padmaja sent me a number of books for my birthday and so did
Dr Mahmud.^ I am always sure of birthday presents from these two!
One of the books that Padmaja sent was a beautiful one about Pavlova^
with scores of fine pictures. In my student days in England I had
often seen her and I was very fond of her dancing. She was probably
the best dancer of the Russian classical school. I wish you would
write to Bebee — as I cannot do so from here — and tell her how happy
1 was to get her books and especially how much I enjoyed the Pavlova
book. I looked through its pictures again and again and, when I had
read it, I took it to Mummie and left it with her.

AH my love.
Your loving,
Papu

Almora District Jail,
4th February, 1935

Indu darling,

1 have your letter.^ I am glad you had a pleasant little holiday on the
island in the Ganges and enjoyed yourself swimming about in the
river and wandering among the ruins of ancient temples.

The snow was very pleasant to see and feel but it was a very
temporary visitor and, like most good things, it left us too soon. The
deodars and other trees laden with snowflakes were very beautiful
and fairy-like.

I thought so much of you and of Switzerland with the snow all
covering my prison surroundings. The Hotel Mirabeau and you lying
ill, and the Danish lady who sent you flowers. I sent her some flowers
also and quite by accident I chose the Danish national colours — I did
not even know at the time what they were.The old lady was so pleased
at what she considered my dehcate and graceful compliment to her
nationality!

How small you were then and how you have grown since, and

1. Dr Syed Mahmud, barrister and nationalist who held high office after 1947.
2 Anna MaWeyevna Pavlova Russian ballerina.

Letter not published

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

what a lot has happened since then to all of us!

The winter seems to be passing and there is already a faint smell
of the spring in the air. In another four days it will beVasanta Panchami.'
Last year on this day Mummie and I were in Santiniketan and the
Chandas gave us a pretty little present for, you must know, that this is
an important anniversary for both of us — we were married on that
day!

The clouds are my favourite companions here and I watch them
daily. I fancy I see shapes of animals in them, elephants and camels
and lions, and even little pigs. Or they resemble the porpoises that
hop about in the sea, or fish lying side by side, almost like sardines in
a tin. And then they would change suddenly and coalesce and look
like a mighty ocean, and at other times like a beach. The wind rustling
through the deodars helps the illusion, for it sounds like the tide
coming in and the waves breaking on a distant sea-fi'ont. It is a great
game, this watching of the clouds. Once I saw some whifis of them
floating about and I was immediately reminded of Sir Prabhashanker
Pattani’s^ peroxide beard. It was really a remarkable likeness and I
was highly amused and laughed to myself for a long time. Have you
seen this famous beard? It is worth seeing.

Some time back, when I was at Bhowali, Mummie told me that
you wanted to change your subjects and give up your present course.
You were keen on giving more time to the Kala Bhavana and to
languages.

If you are attracted to the Kala Bhavana I think it advisable for you
to give more time to it. It is better to do some things well than many
things indiflerendy. There is also this to be said for it, that art is the
speciality of Santiniketan and Nandalal Bose is a fine artist and teacher.

Languages are also desirable and languages are tricky things after a
certain age. You will find it far easier to learn a new language now
than say five years later. As one grows the capacity for learning languages
weakens tremendously. The best time of course is babyhood.

I am not at all keen on your taking any particular examinations at
Santiniketan. I look upon all these studies of yours as preparatory to
specialisation, probably in Europe, for some particular line of work. I
do not yet know what your own desires are in regard to this or whether
they are clearly formed yet. In the ordinary course you will remain at

1. A festival marking the coming of spring.

2. Sir Prabhashanker Dalpatram Pattani: civil servant and politician.

• GROWING UP •

Santiniketan till the summer of 1936. If possible I should like to go
with you & Mummie then to Europe, but it is quite impossible to
make any plans so far ahead.There are so many indeterminate factors —
Mother’s health, Dol Amma’s condition, my own entanglements, etc.

I hope you are keeping well. I want you not merely to keep well
but to be aggressively fit and, as far as possible, to make yourself
impervious to disease. What a terrible waste of energy is illness and
how It disables us from doing useful work! Many people take various
tomes but really the best thing, especially m youth, to build up a
strong body is cod liver oil. Horrible stuff you will say and I entirely
agree with you. But there is a very good substitute — ^hahbut liver oil.
This IS as bad but the great advantage is that one has only to take two
or three drops of this instead of the huge quantities of cod liver oil.
Even I have started taking them regularly! I would be glad if you
followed your father’s example in this respect at least.

Who pays your college account? Is this done from Bombay or
Allahabad? Mummie doesn’t know. And do you get any pocket
money? You must not run short of pocket cash.

With all my love,
Your loving,
Papu

Santiniketan
[February 1935]

Darling Papu,

Your letter^ is always so welcome and when it comes after such a long
absence, my dehght is almost immeasurable.

Some days ago Ragini Devi, the dancer, came here with her party.
She gave two performances. Her dancing was hardly worth looking at
but Gopinath, her partner was superb. His expression, his movements,
and the strength and vigour with which he danced were simply
marvellous. Some people go so far as to say that he is even better than
the great Uday Shankar.

On the 6th of the month, the Governor of Bengal paid a visit to
Gurudev and you should have seen the preparations. From the 4th

1. Refers to letter dated 4 February 1935 (No 65).

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

evening Santiniketan was crowded witla red turbans and all our letters
were opened at the post office. On the 6th morning we were all
(including professors) packed off to Sriniketan where fortunately for
us there was a mela [fair] (it being the anniversary of that place). We
were not allowed to return before evening.

Leena^ was here for about a week. She spent most of her time in
the Kala Bhavana talking to the students and looking at paintings —
we have quite a big and a very good collection. Also she exhibited her
own paintings and gave a performance of her dancing — it is the same
style as is taught here, but she has mixed it up with some poses from
the Garba dance. I agree it was very nice, but then she has devoted all
her attention to that one dance for eight whole years, so what other
result would you expect? Leena has not changed one bit since I saw
her last on the S.S. Kalaghora on our way back from the Karachi
Congress.^ She’s just the same sweetly smiling plump little girl wdth
the ‘all dressed up and nowhere to go’ look.

I do not know anytliing about my fees. I enquired at the office
once, but did not get any clear reply — these Bengali Babus do get on
my nerves sometimes. However I will ask again. As for pocket money
I have more than enough of it. One doesn’t need much here except
for subscriptions and food-stuffs.

. With ever such a lot of love and kisses,

From ever your loving,
Indu

Ahnora District Jail,
22tid February, 1935

Darling Indu,

I am glad you have fixed up your subjects in consultation with
Kripalani.^ Classes are really far less important than this personal
guidance from good professors. Indeed at Cambridge we attached
little importance to the university lectures; far more helpful is the
help given by college tutors, as they are called. I do not know if there

1. Leena, Bliaran and Suhnd; members of the notable Sarabliai family of Gujarat,
prominent in industry and culture.

2. The annual session of the Congress was held in Karachi in March 1931.

3. Krishna Kripalani: distinguished scholar and author who taught atVis\-a-I5harati.

• GROWING UP •

IS any such system obtaining at Santiniketan or whether the Professors
do this job apart from professing m classes. Even if the system does
not prevail, there is no reason why you should not seek help from
time to time from your Professors.

You have accepted my suggestion that I should send you books
from time to time. I shall do so And yet when I came to think what I
should send you, I was a little puzzled.

To enjoy a book we must not be forced to read it as a duty. That is
the surest way of dishking it, as well as developing a prejudice against
all reading. Our examinations and textbooks often have this result.
Shakespeare, Milton, Goethe, Moliere, Victor Hugo, etc., become
terrible bores because of this association with examinations. And yet
what wonderful stuff they have written!

I have yet another difficulty. Youth likes one kind of book, middle
age another kind, and old age yet a third kind. As a boy I loved Scott’s
novels and Tennyson’s poems. I could hardly stand them now. Then I
became passionately fond of Swinburne and SheUey; my enthusiasm
for them has considerably abated. Must I therefore, in recommending
books to you, think of my youtliful tastes or my present tastes? Probably
neither would be a safe guide. What I would like to know is what
books you read and how you like them. Do you like poetry and if so
who are your favourite poets? Do you like history — sociology —
current affairs — economics? Fiction — historical novels — Utopias —
essays? And so on. If you would write to me about these matters I
could keep in touch with your mental moods and development and
I would then find it easier to suggest further reading. I do not want to
thrust books on you which you do not like.

Most of Plato’s books are very interesting and thought-provoking.
Try one of them — say the Republic — and see how you like it. The old
Greek plays are also fascinating. Some of them are so powerful that
they make one shiver almost. Sophocles, Euripides, Aeschylus for
tragedies — ^Aristophanes for delightful comedies. The plays are short
and easy to read.There are many good English translations. And talking
of plays — have you read Shakuntalal Not of course in Kahdas’s original
but in translation. It is worth reading.

Shakespeare again makes fascinating reading if one takes to him
for pure pleasure and not for examination stunts. And his sonnets are
extraordinarily beautiful.

I do not know if you are keen on poetry. I see that you have been
studying Walt Whitman and Browning — excellent persons but not

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

poets after my heart. Modern poetry is very different — some good,
some totally incomprehensible to me. The most lyrical and musical
of modern English poets is Walter de la Mare.

When we were together in Anand Bhawan last August you told
me that you would read Tolstoy s War and Peace. Did you read it? It is
supposed to be one of the greatest of novels. Another great novel by
Tolstoy is Anna Karenina. Have you read much of Thackeray or
Dickens? They are rather old-fashioned now but I remember how I
used to enjoy them in the old days. You should certainly read
Thackeray’s Vanity Fair, a story of Waterloo days.

I have always been interested in Utopias and books peeping into
the future. William Morris’s News from Nowhere was an early favourite
of mine. Then there is Samuel Butler’s Erewhon and a fairly recent
book by H.G. Wells: Men Like Gods.

Bernard Shaw you have read a little. Read more of him. Almost
all his plays are worth it and his prefaces to these plays are equally
important.

A favourite author of mine is Bertrand Russell. He writes beautiful
English and he is eminently sensible. I think you will like him. Except
for his philosophical and mathematical books, you can take up any of
his works.

Why does one read books? To instruct oneself, amuse oneself,
train one’s mind, etc., etc. Certainly all this and much more. Ultimately
it is to understand Hfe with its thousand facets and to learn how to live
life. Our individual experiences are so narrow and limited, if we were
to rely on them alone we would also remain narrow and limited. But
books give us the experiences and thoughts of innumerable others,
often the wisest of their generation, and lift us out of our narrow ruts.
Gradually as we go up the mountainsides fresh vistas come into view,
our vision extends further and further, and a sense of proportion comes
to us. We are not overwhelmed by our petty and often transient loves
and hates and we see them for what they are — ^petty and hardly
noticeable ripples on the immense ocean of Hfe. For all of us it is
worthwhile to develop this larger vision, for it enables us to see life
whole and to live it well. But for those who cherish the thought of
rising above the common herd of untliinking humanity and playing a
brave part in life’s journey, this vision and sense of proportion are
essential to keep us on the right path and steady us when storms and
heavy winds bear down on us.

‘Hear, hear,’ I seem to hear you say, ‘to these pious and noble

• GROWING UP •

senriments, but .why inflict them in a letter?’ I agree with you — my
pen strayed and it is admonished.

We shall return to a more profitable subject. I have been watching
the kites here a good deal. There is a wide expanse of sky and quite
fifty kites round about here. Every day they crowd right over this httle
jail, when the prisoners are fed, in the hope of getting scraps of bread.
What IS more interesting is to watch them glide gracefully high above
almost without effort. Sometimes they rush past at amazing speed,
borne by a current of air, or they go up and up, or swoop down at
quite a tremendous pace. They seldom exert themselves, except to
steer by their tails, and to balance themselves. The rest they leave to
the wind. I can almost chart the air currents above me by watching
these kites. Do you know much about ‘gliding’ — the new form of
flying on light little aeroplanes without engines? This is based entirely
on the knowledge and use of these air currents.There being no engine,
there is no motive power behind the plane. It has to rely entirely on
the wind and air currents.

I went to Bhowali a few days ago. It is proposed to transfer Mummie
from Chandra Bhawan to a cottage in the sanatorium itself 1 think
the sanatorium regime will be good for Mummie and 1 hope she will
improve rapidly there. She will not have quite so much company
there and might feel a little dull but her treatment will benefit. The
nurse will live with her there and if necessary one other person can
share the nurse’s room. It is probable that quite a number of our
family members will be coming up in summer and it will be better
for them, as well as for Mununie, if she lived quiedy in the sanatorium
and saw visitors at fixed hours every day.

We are thinking of leaving our present cottages — Chandra Bhawan,
etc. and taking two other cottages. Dol Amma when she comes up
in April can occupy one of these cottages and Chhori Puphi (with the
brat) the other. You and others who come can fit in eidier of these.

I understand there is a great argument going on m Bombay as to
what name should be given to the son and heir. Two names have been
especially selected: Rahula and Harsha. I like both. I think Harsha is
better in some ways; I like its meaning^ and its sound. But it is fairly
common. Rahula has the advantage of being rather uncommon and
’ts association (being the name of Buddha’s son) is in its favour also. I

Harsha means joy.

• TWO ALONL. two TOGfcTHCR •

know only one Rahula and he is a very delightful and learned scholar
who is a Buddhist monk and knows any number of out-of-the-way
languages. So I find it a little difficult to choose. Harsha reminds me
of some famous lines by Blake — Do you know them?

‘I have no name:

I am but two days old.’

What shall I call thee?

‘I happy am,

Joy is my name.’

Sweet joy befall thee!

Send these lines to Chhoti Puphi and tell her that I have so far
been unable to choose between the two names. If she and Raja have
no marked preference, why not toss for it?

All my love,
Your loving,
Papu

Santmiketan,
27 March, i935

Darling Papu,

About three weeks ago, Santiniketan looked perfectly lovely with all
the spring flowers in bloom. Of course the beautiful English flowers
you name are unknown in these parts but I think the ones we have
here are not in any \vay less beautiful. I had never before seen or even
heard of these Birbhum District flowers and I must say I was very
attracted to them. I spent much time sketching & studying them.

On the 20th we observed Basaut Utsav. Very early in the morning
there was a sort of a Prabhat PheiiP Then at eight thirty all the girls
who learn dancing went in a procession, doing rather a pretty step, to
our mango garden, where we had a meeting, in which Gurudev read
out of a play of his on spring. In the evening there was a performance
of dancing.

1 . Prabhat Pheri traditionally means a morning procession or festival, etc.The tradition
was utilised for political purposes in the national movement.

• GROWING UP •

We had many guests & visitors from all parts of India. Pupha, Puphi
and Chand arrived on the 19th and stayed for three days. I made
arrangements for them at ‘Uttarayan’.^ They were charmed with the
place. They left for Calcutta on the 22nd morning at four o’clock. I
went with them as Uday Shanker was giving a performance in Calcutta
and I was very eager to see him. I simply loved the dancing and the
music and costumes were marvellous. But after having seen Gopinath’s
dance, (Gopinath is Ragini Devi’s dancing partner) I was a bit
disappointed — Gopinath is so much more graceful & his art is far
superior to even the great Mr Shanker’s. If Gopmath were to give a
performance or two in Europe, his fame would be greater than that of
Uday Shanker . . .

On the 10th March years ago just after Bapu had returned from
Africa, he paid a visit to S [Santiniketan], Since then every year that
day is observed as ‘Gandhi Day’. On this day no classes were held, all
the servants in the whole Ashram were given a hoHday and the students
& professors did all their work. Batches were made. One batch
undertook the cleaning of the grounds, another that of buildings and
a third that of the latrines, etc. The other batches did the cooking,
peehng vegetables, etc. It is quite fiin.

I think I wrote to you or to Mummie that a party had come from
Japan to see if the type of dancing we have here would appeal to the
Japanese pubhc or not. They saw one of our performances and liked
It very much. After a few days they returned to Japan and now they
have sent a gentleman to take the Tagore party over to their country.
The party will give performances at some of the big towns in Japan 8c
China. If all goes well they will leave sometime in August.

There is a Madrasi Professor here. It seems he is rather keen on
translating the Glimpses into Tamil. Have you any objection? Could
you please let me know?

About the Hindi translation, there is some agitation here as well as
in other places. Of course I’m not a Hindi Pandit or rather Panditani,
but some phrases are ridiculous — for example Tewaryji has translated
white ant’ as safed chinti? There are many such words & phrases in
the book. Then in the introduction or preface or whatever it is that
Tewaryji has written, he seems to have misunderstood you in certain

1 One of the main buildings of Visva-Bharati.

2 The correct translation of white ant is dtmak.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

places. In one place he quotes you ham to bare bap ke bete hain} I’m not
sure whether you ever wrote this or not, anyway it sounds awfiil in
Hindi.

Some of the U.P. [United Provinces] boys are very keen on my
reading something of Hindi Literature — specially as my knowledge
of it is rather weak — and occasionally lend me books which are
supposed to be the best. I don’t much like the Hindi novel but some
poetical works are quite good. The idea just struck me to ask what
you thought about this.

In my room in Anand Bhawan there are a great many useless
stupid books — aU the rubbish of two generations. What is to be done
with them? They use up an awful lot of space and are of no earthly
use to anyone.

About my going to Europe I can’t say what will be best. Of course
if I can be of any help to Mummie en route or at the sanatorium, I had
better go. I’m not frightfully keen on going just yet, apart from the
fact that I’d like to be with Mummie, specially during the operation.^
However we can decide everything when I come to Bhowali in a
month and a half.

The newest arrival in our family is still without a name, the chief
objection to Harsha being that when the infant will go to an English
school the children will call liirn Harris!

With ever such a lot of love & kisses,
Ever your loving,
Indu

Almora District Jail,
4th April, 1935

Darhng Indu,

So in about a month or so you wiU be leaving Santiniketan for the
vacation and a litde later I shall see you.

I am inclined to agree with the U.P. [United Provinces) boys at

1 Literally it means ‘I am the son of an important father.’ Indira Nehru was obviously
unhappy about the translation.

2. Kamala Nehru’s condition had suddenly deteriorated and she was advised to undergo
a chest operation.

• GROWING UP •

Santiniketan about the Hindi translation of the Glimpses. There are
some obvious howlers in it. I noticed safed chinti myself and some
others. I do not know what to do m the matter, especially from jail. I
hesitate to interfere as I am no scholar of Hindi. The only tiling that
can be done is to draw Tewary’s attention to some of the obvious
mistakes.Very few writers in Hindi, as far as I can make out, pay real
attention to the artistry of language, the beauty and significance of
words and the images they convey. They get lost in high-sounding
and vague language; there is little precision about it, and hence there
is always a want of sincerity in the written word.They have not realised
yet that true style comes from simplicity and sincerity. Nearly two
years ago I pointed out to a small private gathering of Hindi writers
in Benares that modern Hindi literature suffered from a darbari style
and as long as this continued it could not have real beauty or a mass
appeal. My remarks were given publicity in the Hindi press and created
quite an uproar. I was cursed and denounced for being an impertinent
Ignoramus. Nevertheless I hold to that opinion. All languages have
passed through that stage and till they have shed it, they have not
grown. Another great drawback in modern Hindi is the ignorance of
most of its writers of world literature and new ideas. There must be
something worthwhile at the back of what one writes. One must
have knowledge and ideas. Just a mere spinning of words gracefully
does not take one far.

You ask me about your reading Hindi literature. Why, of course
you should do so. Hindi poetry is very beautiful but I find it a little
monotonous and it seems to deal with a few limited topics. Old Hindi
literature is good and it is not only desirable but necessary that we
should know it. Only then can we build on it and develop it and
make it absorb modern ideas. My own limited knowledge of that
hterature has been a great drawback to me and I hope you will not
suffer thus. I could have improved that knowledge in prison — perhaps
I shall still do so — ^if my mind was not full of the modern world with
Its problems. I want books dealing with these problems, with new
ideas, with history, science, sociology and economics. And ITindi hardly
has any decent books on these subjects.

As for novels and plays and the like modern Hindi is quite
extraordinarily backward. I have made a great effort to read some of
these novels & plays and almost invariably I have found them to be
quite amazingly bad. Compare them to Tolstoy! The one Hindi writer

• TWO ALONL, TWO TOGETHER •

who seemed to me hopeful as a novelist is Premchand^ (he translated
the Lettas from a Father to his Daughter and a good translation it was).

To revert to the Glimpses. So far as I know no one has undertaken
the Tamil translation and I have no objection to your Madrasi Professor
undertaking it.

You have been now nearly a full year at Santiniketan and I am very
glad you went there. You have had, on the whole, a happy time there
and have grown physically and mentally. Perhaps you are gradually
finding your bent. It was my wish that you should spend two years
there and then go to Europe. But I am beginning to doubt if that will
be possible. I can quite understand that you are not keen on leaving
Santiniketan in the near future. Nor am I. It would be a pity for you to
interrupt or put a stop to some of your activities there. But there is
that possibility of your having to go off soon with Mummie and that
possibility grows.

It seems to me practically certain that Mummie will have to go —
the only question is whether she is to go just before the monsoon or
just after it is over. And I feel clearly now that you should accompany
her. You will be of the greatest help to her during the voyage and it is
obviously desirable that you should be near her if operations have to
be performed.

You have asked me about your old books in Anand Bhawan. I do
not know if you have thought of any special use for them. If not why
not leave them where they are? They are doing no harm. Some of the
utterly useless ones may be weeded out. I have a sentimental
attachment to old books which I have liked some time or other and I
suppose you have some such feeling also. They bring back old
memories and visions of times gone by. But much as I love old books
I prefer that they be used to their not being used, and if you want to
give any of your books to some place or someone who will put them
to use, why, go ahead and give them.

I continue to amuse myself with my gardening operations. I am
waiting impatiently for the seedlings to grow. It is very fascinating to
watch the little shoot come out of the soil. One notices at first just a
slight protuberance in the soil; something is obviously pushing it up

1. Dhanpatrai alias Munshi Premchand: Hindi writer and novelist.

2. Letters from a Father to his Daughter. Collection of letters written by Jawaliarlal to
Indira in the summer of 1928. The letters deal with the early history of man and
civilisation and are primarily meant for children.

• GROWING UP •

from below. And then the tiny upstart breaks through and peeps out
bravely at the strange wide world. It grows rapidly and is soon waving
gracefully in the breeze. Some of the shoots resemble little swords or
daggers cleaving through the earth. I don’t think I had ever before
quite realised this mystery of plant growth. And two other mysteries
that prison has made me appreciate are: the sudden breaking out of
leaves all over a banian tree in spring, and the equally sudden
blossoming of trees.

I wrote to you a fortnight ago’ of the peach and plum blossoms.
Already they are disappearing. Even the red rhododendrons are not
so aggressively noticeable now. The tender pink leaves have turned
green and the look of childhood & early youth is giving place to one
of maturity. In the Bhowali sanatorium there are some perfectly
marvellous wistaria creepers. I had often read about these creepers
but I had no clear idea what they were. Now I know and I am not
likely to forget.

I have a number of ins plants in my yard here and I am greatly
looking forward to their flowering for I like the iris flower. And then
there is canna, that old native of India, a favourite even in the villages.
Some of the so-called English flowers grow wild round about here.
Do you remember the creeper — morning glory — which put up a
brave show at 6, Cawnpore Road? It seems to be all over the place
here, appearing even where it is not wanted.

There are very beautiful flowers all over the plains, probably not
unlike the Birbhum varieties you mention, but unfortunately they
have a short life because of the heat, unless special care is taken. Here
in the hills flowers survive and are longer-lived.

Today is Nauroz and the new Samvat 1992 begins. And so a happy
new year to you. I have celebrated it by putting on a new kmta which
has been exceedingly uncomfortable as the stuff was almost unbleached
& unwashed khadi and it irritated the skin.

Do you know if the Bengali translation of Glimpses is getting on?
Chanda was supposed to be doing it. The second volume of Glimpses
is not out yet. It has taken a mighty long time. But the first volume has
resulted in the press conferring the wholly undeserved title of
historian’ on me.

Did I tell you that Manishy Dey,^ who is I believe Ram Chanda’s

1. Letter not published

2 Manishy Dey student of Rabindranath Tagore at Santiniketan

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

brother, presented a vast number of his sketches to Mummie in
Bhowali? Some of these are good and I like them. I liked Manishy.
Like all artists he is most unbusinesslike and emotional and he parted
■with two months’ hard work although he is usually very hard up.

Love from your loving,
Papu

Ahuora District Jail,
6th May, 1935

Darling Indu,

I feel like writing to you this evening and the thought strikes me that
in aU likehhood this wiU be my last letter to you before you sail with
Mummie. When I write again probably you will be on the high seas
and my letter will be addressed to some place in Switzerland. How
far you will be from me then, moving away rapidly across the Arabian
Sea, ever further away from this litde corner of the world which I
inhabit at present! And I wonder when and where I shall see you
again. We create these distances in our minds, physically they are not
really great. The world grows narrower daily and you in S'witzerland
\vill only be four or five days’ flight from Allahabad. And as for meeting
you, we have not seen too much of each other during these years,
have we? We met at Bhowali last week after nearly six months. And
yet old habit and our early ideas persist and Switzerland does seem a
long way off and your going there makes you much more inaccessible.
Perhaps all this is for the good, good for you and good for me. You
will have to shift for yourself a little more and not rely on me or on
others. Home is good but it has a tendency to narrow one and make
one too much of a hothouse growth.

This letter is taking the shape of a farewell episde but fortunately
I shall see you once again to bid you farewell.

I want you to leave India in a happy and expectant frame of iriind.
Do not worry at all about me. I am aU right. I can manage to find a fair
measure of peace of mind wherever I might be. The mind cannot be
'enchained and I have developed the habit of undertaking great
journeys mentally. I am quite sure that I am happier and freer here
than great numbers of people who are not physically restricted. My
peace of mind would be almost complete if I -was assured that Mummie

• GROWING UP •

and you were faring well in Europe.

Parents are a curious phenomenon. They seem to live their lives
again in their children. 1 have many wider interests in life which
sometimes envelop me and make me forget much else, but still I am
not free from that preoccupation of parenthood and I am vastly
interested in your growth and preparation for Hfe.The fact that I cannot
help you much personally does not lessen this preoccupation. Parents,
again, have a tendency to mould their children after their own fashion
and to impress them with their own ideas. To some extent I suppose
this is inevitable, and yet the fact is that each individual stands out by
himself or herself as a new experiment which life is working out. To
force a growing person into a particular mould is to stultify him or
her and to prevent growth. Bernard Shaw has called this the greatest
of crimes. And so I have tried, with what success I cannot say, not to
force my ideas and pattern of life on you. I want you to grow and
develop after your own fashion and only so can you fulfil your life
purpose. Inevitably you will carry through life certain hereditary habits
and ideas which your home Hfe has impressed upon you in your early
days, and I am conceited enough to think that your hereditary
background is rather good. But the foreground must be your own
creation.

Right education must be an all-round development of the human
being, a harmonising of our internal conflicts and a capacity to
cooperate with others. We are the mirror through which we see others
and generally we shall find in others what we look for and expect. If
we keep this mirror of our minds and hearts bright and clean the
world and other men and women wiU have a pleasant aspect to us
and we shall be agreeable companions and comrades to them. But if
we cloud our mirror and make it murky and smoky how shall we see
straight? We shall then become self-centred and selfish, oblivious of
our own failings and always finding fault with others. And the others
will come to the conclusion that we are highly disagreeable persons
and pass us by.

I am afraid I am wnting like a professor. Forgive me this while. I
do not want to preach or profess but I do want to take you into my
confidence. As I grow older and perhaps wiser I attach more and
more importance to real education, and by that, you know, I do not
mean examinations and the like. I think a proper intellectual training
IS essential to do any job efficiently. But far more important is the
background of this training — the habits, ideals, ideas, objectives, the

• TWO ALONC, TWO TOGETHER •

internal harmony, the capacity for cooperation, the strength to be
true to what one considers to be right, the absence of fear. If one
attains this internal freedom and fearlessness it is difficult for the world,
harsh as it is, to suppress one. One may not be happy in the narrow
sense of the word, for those who are sensitive can seldom be crudely
happy, but the loss is not great, for something that is worthwhile takes
its place, a sense of inner fulfilment.

For you these questions and problems are yet of the future. Do
not trouble about them. It is a little foolish of me to write of them
even and thus perhaps to burden your mind when it should be as free
of burdens as possible. At your time of life you should grow in
happiness, for otherwise your youth would be darkened with care
and worry. I want you to be happy in your youth for so I renew my
own youth and participate in your joy.

You cannot help carrying the burden of your family with you, not
so much in Europe but very much so in India. As it happens, your
family has attained a great deal of prominence in the Indian world
and this has its advantages and disadvantages for you. I am proud of
my father and the example of his life has often inspired me and
strengthened me.Trying to judge him not as his son but independently
of it, I believe he was a really great man. If your grandfather’s example
strengthens and inspires you in any way, that is your good fortune. If
your feelings towards your father or mother also help you in that way,
well and good. But your grandfather and father and mother, whatever
their virtues may be, have many faihngs also, like all human beings.
The public mind, however, especially in India, has a habit [of] idealising
and dehumanising the persons it likes and this is apt to irritate, in
particular those who are supposed to live up to these imaginary
standards. The family and one’s forebears thus become a nuisance
and a burden. I do not want you to feel this way about us! Do not
imagine that the family or family tradition wants you to do this or that
or to refrain from doing something else.

You should go the way you think proper and right and if the
thought of family tradition helps you in this, well, stick to it. Not
otherwise. To some extent you cannot get rid of the family tradition,
for it will pursue you and, whether you want to or not, it will give you
a certain public position which you may have done nothing to deserve.
That is unfortunate but you wiU have to put up with it. After all, it is
not a bad thing to have a good family tradition. It helps us to keep
looking up, it reminds us that we have to keep a torch burning and

• GROWING UP •

that we cannot cheapen ourselves or vulgarise ourselves.

There is a terrible lot of vulgarity in the world and we see it
everywhere in India. And when I talk of vulgarity I do not refer to
the poor; they are singularly free from it for they do not try to pose
and appear to be something other than they are. It is our middle class
that IS often vulgar. It has no artistic standards and it has got rather lost
between Eastern and Western culture. It is hardly to blame for it, for
circumstances have forced this unhappy state of affairs on it.

But enough of this professorial theorising! My pen runs away
with me. I have little to say about your studies in Suisse. We have
discussed them already and you will fix up with MUe Hemmerlin. If
unhappily Mile Hemmerlin is not available, then you will be at a
loose end. I think you had better consult Mile RoUand^ then.

I suppose you know that Puphi and Pupha wiU occupy Anand
Bhawan when you leave. I am very glad we have made this
arrangement for it takes a burden off my mind and the house will be
well looked after. The whole house wiU be at their disposal and no
changes need be made. So far as Mummie’s and my room upstairs is
concerned it had better be kept for me whenever I might need it —
that won’t be for a long time yet.

I have written more than enough & it is time I ended. My next
letter will fly to you across the gardens and deserts and ruined cities
of Western Asia —

Give my love to Dol Amma & Puphi & the infant.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

Aliuora Distiict Jail
26th May, 1935

Darling Indu,

Your letter^ and Mummie’s sent prior to saiUng from Bombay, reached
me today.

Our Bombay friends — and they are so many — ^were wonderfully

1 Mile RoUand was Romam RoUands sister.

2 Letter not traceable.

• TWO ALONC, TWO TOGETHCR •

good to you and did everything conceivable for your comfort m
Bombay & during the voyage.

You must be in the Arabian Sea, as I write this, far from all land.
On board also you will have [an] abundance of kindness.

You have a number of big guns on board. They are pretty dull
people as a rale and do not look quite so big from close quarters. I
am glad you met Mrs S.K. Dutta. I gather she is taking a crowd of
Indian girls for a European tour. She does so every year. So you must
have plenty of agreeable company. I have never met Mrs Dutta but I
know Dr S.K. Dutta^ well and I think he is a very fine man. He was a
friend and admirer of Dadu’s. He felt Dadu’s death so much that he
gave up smoking, quietly without any fuss. This was a very touching
and graceful tribute to a friend, and it was a sacrifice for a smoker to
give up a lifelong habit.

I hope you are having a calm voyage and wiU escape the monsoon.
And yet I almost wish that you — not Mummie — might have
experience of the monsoon on the high seas. There is a magnificence
about the sea then with its great waves tossing about the little ship
and huge showers of spray enveloping the decks. The cloudbursts
come with a peculiar fury and in the distance you might see what
look like huge columns connecting the sea with the clouds above.
Apparently the water is sucked up through these columns.

So you are going to Trieste and Vienna or shall I say Wien as the
Austrians call it? My mind goes back a quarter of a century or more —
I think it was in 1909 — when I visited the place with Dadu &
Shridhara Chacha. It was pre-war Vienna, charming and graceful, full
of beauty and historic associations. It was the home of music of the
gentler variety, of waltzes and comic operas and songs. Do you know
the famous old Blue Danube waltz? Perhaps the younger generation
have forgotten such dainty trifles in these days of the strident jazz.
The Viennese were a peculiar and very happy mixture of the Germans
and Italians! Somehow they had managed to get many of the good
qualities of both, and life seemed to flow, at the top at least, with a
charming grace. But this was long, long ago, not so much in point of
time as of a succession of tragic events.Vienna, proud Vienna, thousand-
year-old Vienna, was very badly hit by the Great War and ever since
then it has gone down and gasped for breath.

1 . Dr S K. Dutta; leader of the Christian community in India, who was a prominent
educationist.

• GROWING UP •

It IS or was one of the great cities which have a soul or a
personality — like Rome and Paris and London — not Berlin.

One thing modern Vienna produced after the war which was
considered unique. This was a series of very fine workers’ flats, beautiful
palaces they were, where ordinary workers could live very cheaply.
Many of these workers’ buildings were knocked down m last year’s
civil war. StiU, they are very well worth a visit to see what a go-ahead
municipality can do for the poorest of its citizens. Compare them to
our mud hovels. If you have a chance, go to see them.

Mummie and you \vill of course manage everything marvellously,
as you say. You have no business to do otherwise for you have the
family reputation to keep up! For the present the management will
have to be done largely by you for Mummie wiU have enough to do
to look after herself. But I do want you to take personal interest m the
arrangements, whether it is engaging hotel rooms, reserving
accommodation on the railway or the many other things that will be
cropping up. Do not put too much of a burden on Madan Bhai.

My dear, I do not worry. I am not the pining sort. If I had been
inclined that way I would have pined away already. But instead I
prosper and fatten in the face of difficulties and adversities and I find
life worth living because of them. When any action or work faces me,
I concentrate on it and try to do my best. When action is denied me I
shut that drawer of my imnd and open some other. And so now that I
do little else I take a vast interest in my little jail garden and my
flowers and seedhngs and exercise such managing capacity as I possess
on them and give them the benefit of my care and tenderness.

I live in my little tent, for my barrack is under repairs. It is very hot
m the middle of the day but I prefer this tent to the barrack for I have
the starlit night above me and the tent gives me an illusion of travel.

I have received a copy ofVolume 2 of the Glimpses 8c I gather that
you have taken a number of copies with you. The book is formidable
to look at and handle. You must be terrified at the prospect of reading
It! I wish It had been split up into two volumes.

And so au revoir again and all my love.

Your loving,
Papu

• rwo AI.OM1.. rwo iogi:iiii,r •

8 8

Conte Rosso,
28th [May 1935]

Darling l^ipu,

At last I am off' and wc iiave the huge Indian Ocean between us. And
the distance goes on increasing every minute — every second. We are
now in tlic Red Sea — our first stop is at Suez.

The sea is beautifully calm and is a lovely shade of navy in colour.
It is so beautiful and peaceful — I love to watch it. Occasionally we see
other ships; these look awfully pretty at night.

The company on board isn't very encouraging. A good number of
the first-class passengers are Indians, almost all of whom are suffering
from some disease or the other and arc going to Vienna to consult the
doctors there. Of the Europeans, very few are English.

l^irla’ and his daughter-in-law are also on the ship. She is going
for her health. As companion to her, Eirla has brought an Anglo-
Indian woman frarn Delhi. She is about four and a half feet in height
and seventy years old, hunch-backed and horrible looking and paints
her face quite brightly. Her talk is even worse. I pity the poor Birla
girl and wonder that Birla couldn’t find a better person in all India’s
thirty-five crores.

Everybody is very astonished that such a young person like
Mummic should have a big daughter like me. People think wc are
sisters. She docs really look so young and sweet — it is such a pity that
she has had to spend so many dreary months in bed. But now let us
hope those days arc over and she will begin a fresh healthy life in
Europe and that she will he happier than she has been.

The women here wear mostly pyj.amas and low-necked or backless
blouses. Of course this dress is more convenient than a sari — but as
far as the .appearance is concerned it needs a slim person to wear it.
Some of the women with roly-poly figures look most comic. As it is
too hot, the Captain has issued an order that it is not necessaiy^ to
dress for dinner in the Red Sea, so in the dining hall you can see all
sorts of clothes, varying from saris to shorts and it is very amusing to
watch.

Every night we have either a cocktail dance or a cinema or something

1. Gh.inshy.nni D.is Birla: leading industrialist.

• GROWING UP •

else. I don’t go to these functions and I’m sure I don’t miss much,
though Mummie thinks that I am tied to the cabin because of her.

Madan Bhai has made friends with almost everybody and feels
very bucked up and gay. Up till now he has been wearing his kurta &
pyjama, but intends to begin European clothes in the Mediterranean.
Madan Bhai thought Raja Bhai looked very smart in his Russian
shirt, so he has had some made for himself. I told him he had better
reduce his tummy before wearing them. His night suits are rather
smart but he has not got quite used to them yet and takes off the
pyjamas after a while (so he whispered to Mummie, the other day).

I hope you have received a volume of the Glimpses. Rehman^ came
to see Mummie at Allahabad a few hours before we left and sent us a
packet of six books on the station. Jal- looked through it and simply
would not let us bring any with us — said it would cause trouble on
the frontiers, specially if we had to go to Germany. So 1 have brought
only one copy for myself

With aU my love.
Ever your loving,
Indu

Ahuora District Jail,
7th June, 193 5

Indu darling,

I have followed the course of the Conte Rosso since it bore you away
from Bombay, and have tried to find vicarious joy in the voyage. Did
not the dark water of the Indian Ocean sparkle with phosphorescence
in the night? Do you remember Djibouti? That was bare enough and
dreary, but it had some romance, for it is the gateway to Abyssinia and
the interior. The only thing worth seeing was sometimes the
magnificent body of a negro, hke an ebony statue.

And Port Said with the statue of Ferdinand de Lesseps pointing
towards his great achievement.^

It was pleasant to enter the cool, blue Mediterranean with aU its

1 An employee of the Allahabad Lata Journal Press

2. Jal Naoroji; industrialist who was the grandson of Dadabhai Naoroji and a close
friend of the Nehrus
3 The Suez Canal.

• I wo AI.ONi;. TWO TOOlTHnU •

memories of early civilisations. The isles of Greece — ‘where burning
Sappho loved and sung’ (Byron’s lines’ come back to me from the
old days in Harrow when I had to learn them by heart) — and Ithaca,
home of Ulysses. Up the Adriatic, a troubled sea with rival nations
on either side glaring at each other. And Venice, queen of that sea,
which once held ‘the gorgeous East in fee’,“ But you could only have
a fleeting glimpse of her for you were bound for Trieste.

So we travelled together, you and Mummie and I, but now I do
not know what your programme is and so I have to stay in Almora
Jail.

It is June. ‘What a tunc, kind June, you are playing all the noon’,
says the Harrow song. But June is not kind here and the tune it plays
is not pleasant or soothing. There is one consolation: the monsoon is
slowly creeping up from Colombo and the south and perhaps in
another two or three weeks we shall emerge from this Turkish bath
and feel cool again.

But all this grousing about the heat seems trivial and out of place
in view of the appalling catastrophe that has overwhelmed Quetta
and North-West India. You must have heard of it. On the last day or
night of May a terrific earthquake laid a fine city and numerous towns
& villages low, and where Quetta stood is now a heap of ruins, a
wilderness of brick and plaster and dust covering thousands of human
bodies. These mighty disasters move us and yet, as a rule, they seem
far removed from us. But last year’s Bihar earthquake brought them
very near to me and that insight has made me realise their horror far
more than I had ever done before. The Quetta earthquake is evidendy
on a vaster scale even than the Bihar one and estimates of the dead
alone exceed fifty thousand.

And this reminds me that you must feel rather cut off from India
svithout Indian newspapers. I do not know if you or Mummie made
any arrangements for papers before you left. Anyway I am arranging
to have some periodicals sent to Mummie.

Apart finm Indian papers I would advise you to subscribe to the
Manchester Guardian Weekly. This is cheap and good and wiU keep you
in touch until important world happenings.

Perhaps en route you looked tlirough the second volume of Glimpses.

1 . From Don Jnaii.

2. William Wordsworth: On the Extinction of the Venetion Republic.

• GROWING UP •

It is a fearsome object, enough to frighten the bravest. Yet I hope that
the inside is not so bad or heavy, though it is long. I should Hke to
know what parts of it interested you and what parts you found difficult
to follow. My own private behef is that some of my last letters deahng
with the world financial situation are rather good. I have tried to
explain a rather comphcated process in as simple language as I could.
If you read through those two volumes you will have a better
knowledge of world history and affairs and the economic and financial
basis of the modern world than many a well-known politician who
holds forth eloquently on the platform. Nothing like blowing one’s
own tmmpet!

Among my companions in this little tent — besides you and
Mummie — is a picture of the Anuradhapura statue of the Buddha.
For nearly three years I have had it with me and I gaze at it after
finding comfort in its amazing strength and calm.You gave me a number
of the Visva-Bharati Quarterly and in this I read a sonnet on a Buddha
statue which I rather liked. I wonder if you read it. In case you did
not, I shall quote it here. It is by E.H. d’Alvis, who is apparently a
Sinhalese Buddhist.

Nay, do not mock me ivith those carven eyes:

I too might grow, beneath that gaze of thine.

Desireless, immortal, unerringly wise.

Disdaining human dreams. Lo, by thy shrine
A multitude slow-worshipping stiU goes
Unsandalled, bearing perfumed offerings.

While down the avenues of time stiU flows
The splendid pageant of all timeless things.

Nay, do not mock me with that ecstasy.

Born of a peace abstracted from life’s pain:

Love and its futile dream shall trouble me
Too briefly — I shall find myself again.

And look on thee unpassioned, mute, alone.

An agelessness invincible in stone. ^

I am afraid I have no desire to be ‘desireless, immortal, unerringly
wise and I certainly do not want to disdain human dreams. Indeed I

1 . Source not knovra.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

do not believe that Gautama [Buddha] himself disdained them. But
there is something extraordinarily attractive in that ‘ecstasy, born of a
peace abstracted from life’s pain’. Of all the great men of the past, the
Buddha attracts me more and more.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

Hotel Bristol,
Vieima,
10th June, 1935

Darling Papu,

We reached Suez at six in the morning. Madan Bhai brought Mummie
out on deck so that she may have a look at the Canal and the shores
of Egypt.

At Port Said, the ship stopped about a mile away from the port.
The ship reached there at eight p.m. It was nine before anybody was
allowed to get off and we were told that the ladder would be kept
down until two thirty, which meant that we could remain in town till
that time — the boat was to leave at four the next morning. Madan
Bhai 8c I got down. As soon as we got down from the launch, we were
surrounded by about fifteen chattering guides. We managed to escape
out of their circle, but having no idea whatsoever about Port Said, it
did not take us long to get lost. However, I went into an' Indian shop
to enquire about Cook’s office.The Sindhi gentleman who was serving
recognised me, asked about Mummie & you and of course after that
all was plain sailing. He accompanied us to Cooks, showed us all the
best shops & bargained for us, so that we got the things cheap. When
we were leaving, we were presented with three boxes ofTurkish delight
and a lovely bunch of roses for Mummie.

In the Mediterranean, we passed several small Grecian islands quite
closely. They looked beautiful. At Brindisi the President of the National
Fascist Party came with some members and a huge bouquet of lovely
flowers to see Mums. None of the party knew English and so for
sometime they went on talking in Italian & we replied in English,
nobody knowing what the other was talking about. Suddenly I had a
brainwave & I asked an old lady of the group, ‘Est-ce que Madame park

• growing or •

le fw«(V 7 /'r?’' Fortunately she did, in fact she was the only member of
the parly who would really speak it well. After this we managed a bit
better.

At Venice we got Subhas Bose’s^ wire. We reached Trieste on the
3rd afternoon.

We reached Vienna the next morning at nine. The journey was
not very comfortable as the compartment shook a lot and Mummie
could not sleep.

At the Vienna station we were met by Subhas Bose & some young
Indian doctors who are studying here. They had made all the
arrangements for Mummie. They took charge of our luggage, etc.,
and we had nothing to do except to come straight to the hotel. If they
had not come we would have found it very difficult, not knowing
German. Bose comes to see Mummie every day and another young
Indian — he comes from the U.P. — a Dr Katyar is on constant
attendance on Madan Bhai.

Nanu [A. C. N. Nambiar]^ came here from Prague for two days on
the 5th. I nict him for the first time and rather liked him.

I have not seen much ofVienna yet. Most of the time I am with
Mummie. And when I do go out it is for shopping or meals. The food
at the hotel is terribly expensive so Madan Bhai & I generally go out
to some restaurant. I have not done much shopping either. It is awful
going out in a sari. Everybody turns round and stares and looks me
up and down, till I want to just sink in the ground or run back to the
hotel. A German lady on board had given Madan Bhai an introduction
to a great friend of hers an Austrian lady in Wien. Madan Bhai wrote
to her to come and see us & she said she would help me in shopping.
She took me to a dress shop Sc I have ordered two. I am so thin that it
is very difficult to get ready-made clothes to fit me. I take any amount
of toodstufis & get plenty of fre.sh air and enough exercise — so I really
ought to gain weight. If 1 don’t it isn’t my fault.

You will be surprised to hear that there is as much bargaining
here in the big shops as well as the small ones as we have in our
Indian bazaars.

At the dress-makers there was a dress for 600 Schs. I said 1 could

3 Po you spoak Frcncli?

- JuiWm Chandra Hoso: n.ition.ilisc leader from Bengal who organised the Indian
National Army in the Second World \%r.

' • A journ.dist active in the freedom struggle who was a close friend of the Nchrus.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

not afford it & the saleswoman reduced the price to 550.

Yesterday afternoon I went and had my hair cut, pardy because it
was hot and partly because my jura became untied about ten times a
day and it was a nuisance making it. Besides it did not go at all well
with European clothes.

Bose & the other Indians are terribly prejudiced against my leaving
off the sari. They say that people only stare because they admire it so
much. I have not told them yet that I am going to wear frocks because
it isn’t necessary. My clothes aren’t ready yet & won’t be till we leave
for Berlin. In Berlin I will buy more.

With lots of love from Mummie & myself.

Ever your loving,
• Indu

Hotel Adhn,
Berlin,

27th June [1935]

Darling Papu,

You will be, perhaps, surprised to see that I am at the Adlon. And
perhaps you will not like the explanation. I had ordered a number of
frocks and was to try on last evening, but the woman misunderstood
me and when she did not arrive I phoned to her. She said nothing
was ready and she could not possibly come before Thursday evening.
Now, we had already decided to leave Berlin on Thursday morning.
Everything was packed and the tickets bought. I decided to stay on
for two days. By the end of this period I will be able to get my
clothes, do some shopping & have a look round Berlin. Of course I
have been on most of the big streets but have not seen anything such
as zoo, etc. And Mummie used to be quite alone & used to feel very
lonely so I did not like to leave her.

So I went to the station and saw Mummie & Madan Bhai off, and
then came here and engaged a room for myself Mummie was rather
worried that I might be nervous & frightened and would .shut myself
in my room & do without food, etc. But as I told her, I am very lazy;
when there is someone to do things & run about, why should I exert
myself and so I do nothing. But when left to myself, witli nobody to
help me, I manage ever^'thing quite well!

• GROWING UP •

Badenweiler is a small town in the Black Forest, very near the
Swiss frontier and still nearer the French. It is said to be a beautiful
place. For the first week Mummie will remain in the sanatorium and
then shift to wherever Madan Bhai & I am staying.

Nanu has arranged for a companion for Mummie. She is a German
girl — now a Swiss subject and knows German, French and English
perfectly. She is a great friend of Nanu’s and he says she will be the
best person for Mummie, as she is very capable, as well as jolly. She is
a Mrs Geissler.^ She has met many Indians and knows all about India.

I shall spend two or three days at Badenweiler and then go to
Mile Hemmerlin. From Bex I shaD go toVilleneuve to Mile RoUand,
who has sent a very nice reply to my letter and sends you her best
regards. She might come to visit Mums.

I have seen more of Berlin than Vienna, but Vienna is by far the
more beautiful city and I liked it. The people there are so terribly
polite that sometimes I used to feel quite upset — but they are very
poor. The biggest hotels and restaurants look dowdy and in the evening
most of the people — well-to-do people — take only biscuits and coffee
or an egg. The waiter was telling us that it is only the foreigners who
have a decent-sized dinner and very few Austrians! Of course now
Austria is so weak it has no future — Hitler is keen or rather mad on it.
It will probably become part of Germany soon.

In Berlin one really feels as if Europe were on the eve of war.
Aeroplanes are buzzing overhead all day and night. They fly rather
low and at first it was impossible to sleep, until one got used to the
sound. All night they throw searchlights — I was rather fascinated by
the queer symmetrical designs in the sky.

Badenweiler,
2nd July

Three days all alone in Berlin did me a world of good. I used to be
out aU day, the result being that I could find my way about there now
easily and I have increased my German vocabulary.

This is a delightful little place. We are surrounded by trees except
on the west side. From this side we get a beautiful view of two or
three villages & towns on a slightly lower level than ours. The air is
very refreshing and there is a lovely smell of fir.

1- Louise Geissler;a German lady who helped Indians in Germany in the 1920s.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Mummie is in the sanatorium and will probably stay there for
some time. It is a nice place and the management is good. The nurses
& the doctor are nice persons & do their utmost for the patient. The
doctor comes to see Mummie- twice a day and himself makes her
menu for the day, with her. And she was telling me that the food is
excellent.

Madan Bhai & I are in a pension which is half an hour’s fast walk
from the sanatorium. BadenweUer, because of its climate, is a well-
known & quite popular place and June, July & August is the season
here. At this time it is quite crowded. Except for two lines of shops, aU
the houses are pensions and two or three hotels. But it was with the
greatest of difficulty, after knocking at every door, that we at last found
this pension where they had room for us.

There is a lovely swimming pool nearby and I wiU go tomorrow
and then everyday. Madan Bhai has just bought a bathing costume
also as he wants to reduce his tummy. Of course he doesn’t know a
stroke of swimming.

With lots & lots of love from Mums & me.

Ever your loving,
Indu

[Ahnora District Jail\
5th July, 1935

Darling Indu,

The last fortnight has been a blank one so far as any letter from you is
concerned. I suppose you wanted to make up for your extravagance
of the fortnight before. Mummie of course could not write because
of her operation. I have had, however, two letters from Madan Bhai
from Berlin. He has given me a full account of the operation. He also
told me that you were not exactly flourishing like the green bay tree.
You have been made to swallow bismuth meal and have been screened
and radiographed, and your appendix has been held to blame, and a
threat to cut it off has been held forth.

I do not particularly fancy your hob-nobbing too closely with the
tribe of doctors. They are excellent people and I admire them greatly
but, on the whole, I prefer to keep at a distance from them
professionally, and I have a feeling that medicine is usually better

• GROWING UP •

outside me than inside me.

However, all this is an aside. You must of course follow doctors’
advice and if they insist on cutting you up, submit to their will. An
operation for appendicitis is not very terrible after aU.

The body must be looked after, that is its due and is essential for
our proper functioning. But to make of it an invalid and to think and
speak continually of its pains and troubles is not only a most distressing
habit (alas, so prevalent in our country!) but is calculated to make its
condition worse. I sometimes feel that speaking about disease and
illness, except in the case of necessity, should be forbidden by law. If
such a law was passed in India, I am afraid quite fifty per cent of our
subjects for conversation and small talk would disappear and many of
our middle-class folk would he tongue-tied. Is it not terrible how
they discuss repeatedly and at length their painful and unsavoury
ailments?

So you are all in Badenweiler now and hkely to remain there for
two or three months more. I do not know that Httle town but I know
well enough that all that neighbourhood is very beautiful, perhaps
the best part of Germany, from nature’s point of view. Very near you is
the Black Forest, the Schwarzwald, full of beauty spots. Not far is the
Rhineland and the banks of the Rhine must be covered with the
vine in these summer days (or am I mistaken about the season?). You
were with us, were you not, when we steamed up the Rhine, following
its winding course through town and countryside, passing its great
rocks with frowning castles seated atop of them, and legends of long
ago clinging to them. There was the great rock where the Lorelei
used to sit and sing and lure unhappy sailors to their destruction. And
so we passed from Cologne to Mainz and thence to the old delightful
city of Heidelberg. Do you not remember it, and the River Neckar
and the professor of geology who took us reverently and proudly to
his cabinet to show the ancient skull of the Homo Heidelbergiensis,
that half-ape, half-man, one of the Jinks in the missing chain of early
human development?

Freiburg is of course your very near neighbour and I suppose
Wiesbaden cannot be far off. Bad Ems and Hamburg, if I remember
aright, must also be round about somewhere. To both these places
Dadu and Dol Amma went when they first put me at Harrow. It was at
Ems that Puphi’s (the elder one’s — there was only one then) fifth
birthday was celebrated, and Dadu ^ve a party to all the municipal
school children of the place and the mayor or burgomaster, or whatever

• TWO Al.ONr,, TWO TOGETHER •

he is called, attended in state. Old memories come back to me and I
write them down, thinking that they might interest you.

You have been now just over a month in Europe and you have
seen something — not much, 1 am afraid — of two of its great capitals.
How did you like them, Vienna and Berlin? Berlin, with all its pomp
and circumstance, is not very impressive. Munich, I think, is a more
fascinating German town, and the Germans themselves have a saying:
sec Munich and die. Apart from its old fascination it has got a new
and a wonderful appeal — the great Deutsches Museum, built since
the war. This is really something magnificent and worth going all the
way from India to see.

It is seventeen days since Mummie’s operation and I hope that
she can walk about a little now. I am very keen on her leaving her bed
and getting out of the perpetual invalid atmosphere which bed always
carries with it.

Should you be staying on in Badenweiler for a considerable time
why not utilise your time there to pick up some German and improve
your French? If you could get to know some German family, make
fnends with a Fraulein, you could not only have some lessons from
them but mix with them and listen to their talk. Indeed such friendship
would be good in many ways. You could have companions of your
age to go about with and the way to know a country is to know its
people and try to understand them. It is an English habit to live in a
stuck-up stand-offish way in foreign countries. It is not a good habit.
We should indeed go out of our way to make friends. That is a courtesy
we owe to the country we are in and it pays well, for it brings us
intimate glimpses and friendship, and it helps us to grow out of our
narrow national selves.

To come to a less interesting topic — myself.

What do I do? Perhaps you have heard the story of the old villager
who when asked how he spent his time after he had been pensioned
off, made answer: ‘Well, Miss, sometimes I sits and thinks, and
sometimes I just sits.’ I have not quite got to the stage of just sitting,
even though I am in prison, but a subtle change has come over me
during the past few months. It has not come uninvited. I asked for it.
The change consists of a diversion of interest from purely intellectual
pursuits to manual ones. I had become too much of a bookworm,
reading, reading and writing for most of my time. Outside, strenuous
activity and irioving about prevented me from becoming too lop-
sided. In prison, that activity being denied, my interests became too

• GROWING UP •

intellectual. Of course I had relief in the past by spinning and weaving,
etc. I liked them but they seemed to be extraneous activities, my
main function being reading and writing, and as you know to your
cost I produced 1500 printed pages during my last term! That is not
so now. I have read relatively Httle and at the slightest pretext I put
aside my book. Living in the tent has helped in the process and the
cloudy weather has also lured me out. Now I can stroll up and down
my yard, usually armed with a khurpi,^ messing about my flowers.

1 have always been a bit of a student, trying to learn to understand,
but largely this effort was intellectual. There was also the emotional
element in it, the learning from crowds, the appreciation of mass
psychology. Latterly I have felt drawn more and more towards nature —
to plants and animals. Maybe it is a relief and an escape firom human
folly, human cowardice and human knavery! I feel more in tune with
nature.

I feel that this is a hopeful sign in me. I am growing still, getting
more educated, more in harmony with hfe. Three years ago died a
very great man, though he is not very well known. He was a Scot,
Patrick Geddes, and he was a genius in many fields. He even came to
Allahabad once and drew up a scheme for its town planning! He was
a great educator and instead of the three Rs he used to lay stress on
the three Hs — heart, hand, head. He wanted children to grow up
with a first-hand knowledge of the worlds of nature and of man and
to develop an unspoiled appreciation of fife, the beauty of nature, of
the human mind, etc.The first approach for the child thus came through
the heart, through the emotions — the affection of parents, the
enjoyment of firesh air, sunshine, etc. Then came the hand as the child
grew older. Petty manual tasks in the garden or some craft. Then at
last came the head and, curiously, the intellectual development of the
child who had gone through the course of heart and hand was very
rapid — far quicker than the child who began with intellectual teaching
only. More important still, such children developed what is called a
well-integrated personality, something in harmony with life and nature,
the very reverse of the quarrelsome, dissatisfied, ever-complaining
type that we see so often today.

I sometimes console myself that I am in my own topsy-turvy way
following Geddes’s course and so trying to develop that integrated

1. Trowel.

100

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

personality. Having become somewhat of a highbrow, I have tried to
lay more stress on the hands. To a large extent Tolstoy and Ruskin
advocated manual labour for this purpose. And the real psychological
basis of Bapu’s charkha is also this.

Are you not tired of me, Indu-boy, writing aU this stuff to you and
wearying you even at this great distance with my wordy chatter?

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

Ham Waldecki
Badenweikr,
SchivarzwaU,
Germany,
18th July [1935]

Darling Papu,

Your letter dated 5th July^ arrived last night . . .

Yes, we have a swimming bath here. The spring which supplies
the water comes from 700 metres below the surface of the earth. The
temperature of the water is 27°C. It is said to be very healthy to bathe
in this water.

A few yards away is a bathing place in ruins, where it is said the
Romans used to bathe 2000 years ago.

There are lovely walks here in the woods. And die smell of the
pines is delicious. At first I used to go alone, but now Eva, the
companion’s sister, who has come here to spend her holidays,
accompanies me. We go morning & evening and talk only in German.

I have made marvellous progress in German. Everybody is quite
impressed.

I have changed my pension. I now share a double bedroom with
Mrs Geissler in Pension Ehrhardt, which is halfway between the
sanatorium and the place wdiere Madan Bhai stays (and where I stayed
the first three days). Mrs G’s sister is also with us. So I do not need a
German family. There is a lot of propaganda against Indians in the
papers because of tlie foreign policy to be friends widi England. Hence

1. Refers to letter dated 5 July 1935 (No. 76).

• GROWING UP •

lOI

ic is not very agreeable sometimes.

There is a beautiful garden here called the Kurpark. The baths are
all in this. And there is a band every day. I have made friends with
some of the litde birds and take some bread for them every day, though
one of them was very' angry with me today because I would not let it
eat a grasshopper which was wounded & could not hop away.

1 hear it has been decided to transfer you to Allahabad. Please let
us know when, so that I can write direct there.

Muniinie sends her love, she is not yet allowed to write, but she
sits out for a while on the balcony every day. Oh, I forgot to tell you.
Mums’ name on the register here & also in Berlin was written as
Princezzin' jsic] Nehru, in spite of our protests!

How are you keeping? Puphi wrote you did not look well at all.

With lots of love.
Always your lowng,
Indu

Ahnora District Jail,
29th July, 1935

Indu dear,

I sit down to write to you and cover sheet after sheet of thin airmail
paper, trying somehow to bridge the many thousand miles that separate
us. 1 hope that my letters will carry \wth them, somewhere hidden
away between the lines, a bit of me to you, and that if you care to look
for it, you will find it; just as I seek for you in your letters, behind and
between the lines that you have written. What indeed are letters? Not
surely just budgets of news, although they contain news. Not a record
of illness and birth & marriage and death & humdrum domestic
happenings, such as are most of the letters that people write. They are
something far more; they are, or ought to be, bits of the personality of
the wTiter, quivering shadows of the real self. They are also, or they at
least endeavour to represent and to mirror, something of the person^ty
of the person written to, for the writer is full of the person he is
writing to. Thus a real letter is a strange and revealing amalgam of the
^ fhe one who writes and the one who receives. If it is such a real

t- Correct spelling is Prinzessin (means Princess).

102

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER, •

letter it has considerable value for both the persons concerned.

I have been led to this musing on letters because I have learnt that
my letters have not been reaching you and I have been pained at tliis
unexpected and unwelcome news. Cables from Madan Bhai have
informed me of it and I am at a loss to know why this has happened.
I have been pained at the thought of Mummie and you expecting my
letters, waiting day after day for them, and waiting in vain. I was pained
also at the thought that my letters, which I had sent out with so many
messages and loving thoughts, to fly over two continents to you, should
have gone astray. I felt almost as if I had been physically hurt. And
then it was disheartening. To have to write once a fortnight only is a
poor enough bond, but if even that snaps?

To get on to your last letter.^ Yes I was a htde surprised to see the
superscription — Hotel Adlon. I had expected you to be in
Badenweiler. Also I was a litde surprised at the choice of hotel, for
the Adlon is supposed to be the most expensive hotel in Berlin and
rather a flashy kind of place, frequented by the newly-rich, intent on
display. It is not considered a select place. Probably the Kaiserhof is
better in that respect. But these are very petty considerations . . .
Personally I think it is always safer in a new city to go to a good well-
known hotel even though it may be expensive. If necessary feed
outside more cheaply. So I am glad you went to the Adlon rather than
to a cheaper hotel. I am also glad you stayed on in Berlin for a few
days after Mummie left and had a look round. I want you to shift for
yourself as much as possible.

I am not very happy about your health. Madan Bhai wrote to me
that the doctors were of opinion that there was nothing fundamentally
vnong with you. So far so good; but it is not good enough. You must
not feel weak and headachey and have frequent pains. This has to be
seen to or otherwise both your physical and intellectual development
win be interfered with. My own attitude to ill health is I am afraid
rather intolerant and aggressive — ^it is, as 1 wrote to you in a previous
letter (which you have not got!) — the very opposite of the usual
valetudinarian attitude prevalent in India. I dislike it, consider it almost
indecent and do not feel much sympathy for the person who willingly
indulges in it. Perhaps this is due to my own youthful record. After I
had got rid of certain infantile ailments I developed a healthy body

1. Refers to letter dated 27 June 1935 (No. 75).

• GROWING UP •

103

and during all the long years I was at Harrow, Cambridge & in London
I never spent a day in bed owing to illness. So I grew up rather
conceited about my bodily fitness and with the belief that anybody
who wanted to be fit could certainly keep so.

Now I do not want you to worrry — or grow morbid about your
little physical troubles. These growing pains do not mean much. But
at the same time they should be attended to so that they may not
weaken your constitution.

Regarding your future studies, the question of your health has to
be borne in mind, and this was one of the reasons why I wanted you
to stick to Suisse.

Another reason why I prefer Suisse is because of Mile
Hemmerhn ... It will be better if you are within easy distance of her
and can consult her firom time to time.

In Suisse there are three possible universities — Geneva, Lausanne
and Zurich, the two former more French, Zurich more German. In
the matter I think you had best follow MUe Hemmerhn ’s advice. It is
always possible on the Continent to change universities — it is a good
practice.

As for the course you should take, I should not bother very much
just at present. Remember that students on the Continent — ^both at
school and university — have to work far harder than students in
England. I do not want you to join this treadmill too soon. Take your
time and fit yourself for it before you do so.

I am sending you through Mummie a fitde book — -J.F. Horrabin’s^
Atlas of European History. This is an excellent collection of historical
maps and it wiU help you with the Glimpses. If Horrabin would bring
out similar atlases for Asia & America the whole of Glimpses would be
covered!

I have asked Upadhyaya to send you lists of corrections in Vols. 1
and 2 of Glimpses — there are crowds of errors and some of these are
extraordinary and misleading. When you get them it would be
worthwhile for you to make the corrections in the body of the book.

It was the full moon two or three nights back and the magic of its
radiance drew me out of my little tent (for I am still encamped).

With the full moon passed the month ofAsadlia^ and SravancP began.

1 James Francis Horrabm: English journalist and illustrator who created an Atlas senes.

2 Fourth month of the Indian Calendar.

3. Fifth month of the Indian Calendar.

104

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

the typical month of the rainy season. With it also ended my
seventeenth month in prison tliis time!

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

[La Pelouse]
Bex,

1st August [1935]

Darling Papu,

I arrived here last night.

At Bex, Mile Hemmerlin came to the station, she introduced me
to a French lady who had also been at the Ecole Nouvelle, though a
few [years] before my time. All the old memories came crowding to
my mind and I was quite excited as I remembered the cafe where I
had so often sat with you & Mummie, as well as with the
schoolchildren, and the roads, the garden. I remembered the old house
perfectly — every room and what we did there. Mile Hemmerlin is
still the same sweet and gentle lady whom we used to love so much.
We talked about the old days (one would think I was at least sixty)
and you & Bapu. She sends you her best regards.

4th August

About a week or so ago Mummie received a letter from a German
countess, saying that she was thinking of opening a home for Indian
convalescents in Berlin or somewhere else in Germany under the
patronage of Mrs Goering^ and would Mummie give her name from
the Indian side? Of course we wrote a very polite letter refusing.

I had advised Mummie to get a new companion (Mrs Geissler
had to go away as she had work) as Madan Bhai was busy with his
reducing stunts and she used to be quite alone almost aU day long.
Mrs Geissler wrote to a young girl who was working but would be
free by 4th August, to stop at Badenweiler for a few days, as it was on
her way home. Mummie writes that she did not like her and that she
was not a patch on Mrs G., so she sent her away. But fortunately Dr

1. Emmy Goering, nee Sonnemann: wife of the Nazi leader, Hermann Goering.

• GROWING UP •

105

StefFan has given the sanatorium sister who is very good and is fond
of Mummie, to work for her. So everything is all right now . . .

I am so glad your missing letters have come. It was so irritating to
think that your short messages of love, (for though they be eight or
nine pages, to me they are always short, for they are read so soon and
then again to wait for the next) the only bonds between us, should be
lymg in some dead letter office.

Ascom,
13th August

I arrived here on the 11th. The journey was not as beautiful as I had
expected, but the view firom my pension window is perfectly glorious.
The lake looks charming in every weather.

I could not go to visit MUe RoUand, as somebody in her house
had mumps which is very infectious. But I shall go sometime later.
Remain RoUand is at present in Moscow, he is expected back in
September. I hear he has married his secretary, who was a Russian
countess & ran away to Suisse during the Revolution, but is now a
confirmed Communist and under her influence so is he.

With lots of love from Mummie & ever your loving,

Indu

Ahnora District Jail
16th August, 1935

Darhng Indu,

There has been no letter from you for nearly three weeks now.
Yesterday I had a brief note from Madan Bhai, giving me some
information about Mummie.

It IS sad that Mummie has not been making good progress lately.
These ups and downs are inevitable but nevertheless they annoy and
1 can quite understand Mummie feeh'ng rather fed up occasionaUy.
But she must not lose heart or aUow herself to feel depressed. What a
long time it is since she was confined to bed! Just a year ago I was
with her in Anand Bhawan for eleven short days. That brief period
together was ended aU too suddenly and ever since we have continued
in our respective prisons, and hers is far the narrower and worse one.
When you were at Bhowali you will remember that I mentioned

106

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

the possibility of your going to Oxford sometime or other. As between
Oxford & Cambridge I would sHghtly prefer the former for you. I
think it has a better Economics school. There is also a well-known
place for Economics in London — the London School of Economics.
There again, I would prefer the life of Oxford to London and I am
sure so would you.

I had all this background to my thought when I told you not to
bother about appearing or even preparing specially for the entrance
examination of a Swiss university.

What is to follow? There are so many uncertainties in our life that
I am unable to say definitely. But we can & should be prepared for
various contingencies. One of these is the possibility of your joining
an Oxford college. Probably this will involve also your having to pass
some kind of an entrance examination, though this is likely to be
easier than the Zurich one, even apart firom the question of language.
Another fact to be remembered is that Oxford colleges do not take
an unlimited number of persons. One has therefore to make sure
some time ahead. There may be other difficulties, especially for Indians.
I think you might write to Bharati Sarabhai and find out firom her
what is supposed to be done. She can enquire firom her own college
people — Somerville College.

Having dealt -with the important subject of your education, I must
now come back to my usual topic — jail gossip. What am I to do? The
range of my subjects is limited here and so I seek to interest you in
my birds & flowers. Morning and evening a crowd of birds — they are
mostly mynas & sparrows — sit in front of my litde tent waiting for
their food. If there is delay in supplying it, they make their presence
and their impatience obvious enough by their noises. I share my
morning dallia with them and breadcrumbs of course. Then there are
swallows and bulbuls and other birds that I do not know.

I am afraid my companions here are not exactly noted for bird-
lore. Some time back I wanted to find out the name of a strange bird.
I asked a warder — for warders are my constant companions — ^if he
could recognise birds and knew their names. Well,’ he replied after
some hesitation, “kauon ko ham pahchante hain'l^

There was a swift tragedy two days ago. I was standing some distance
away from my tent, looking away. Suddenly there was a noise in finnt

1. We recognise the crows.

• GROWING UP •

107

of the tent. There was a whirr and a squeak — and that was the end of
the story. A hawk had swooped down and seized & carried away a
bird. It was done so swiftly that I could not even see what kind of
bird it had got or do anything else in the matter. The story had ended,
but the aftermath continued for long, for the other birds sat in rows
on the barrack roofi & walls, terrified at tliis strange fate and croaking
out their warning cry.

I saw another sight — this was last year in Dehra Jail — which
surprised me. A crow came down into my yard and carried off with
ease quite a decent sized frog. It was all done very smartly as if the old
villain had practised at the job. He came down, tipped the frog over
on his back so as to prevent him hopping away, and then seized him
by a leg and flew away.

A few days ago I had a curious experience. I v/as looking at my
zinnias early in the morning when I was taken aback and I almost
gasped at a sight of extraordinary beauty. It was just a spider’s web
with the dew drops hanging on to it but in that half-Hght of the dawn
It seemed like a wonderful pearl necklace, shimmering and full of
lustre. Why do I compare it with a pearl necklace? It vras far more
beautiful.

To come back to earthy topics. I hope you are keeping physically
fit now. You swim & walk and both of these exercises are excellent. I
imagine that swimming is probably the best all-round exercise; it
tones up every part of the body. Apart from these open-air exercises,
I wish you would keep up some of the asans, especially the shirshasana
and the sarvaiigasana.^ I am a great believer in both of these. They are
good for the back, the shoulders, the head & the eyes.

Love from your loving,
Papu

When you write to me ask Mummie to dictate to you a line or two to
me — write them down in Hindi — this will cheer me & it might also
cheer her.

1. Refers to Yogic exercises.

I08

• TWO A1.0NL. TWO TOC;i;THi;K •

Letter No. 8
Almora District Jail
30th August, 1935

Darling Indu,

The papers arc full of war rumours. For the time being there is talk of
an Italo-Abyssinian war and it is possible that the next two or three
weeks might see the beginning of this. I don’t think there is any
immediate danger of war in Europe. But one can never be certain . . .
This will inevitably affect almost all activities there and foreigners,
whether they arc students or not, cannot escape this. Mummie’s
treatment may be affected, so also your educational course. The plan
you may carefully lay down now may have to be altered materially
then. So you must all keep wide-awake and not be caught in any of
the little difficulties that crop up during times of crisis.

You were quite right in not getting Mummie involved in the
proposed home for Indian convalescents in Berlin. It is best to keep
at a safe distance from all public activities in Germany. Mummie is
there for her treatment and for nothing else. Mrs Goering, as of course
you know, is one of the big women of the Third Reich.

Some days back I had a card from Ratan & Rajan^ from somewhere
in the Arctic Circle. The picture card of a semi-ffozen sea brought a
sense of nostalgia to me. It reminded me of my own visit to Norway
just twenty-five years ago. I had just taken my degree at Cambridge
and I went -with a friend on a modest trip to the Norwegian fiords. I
did not go nearly as far as Ratan & Rajan but I loved those §ords and
the blue ice coming right down to the sea. And though I did not see
the midnight sun, I saw it set at eleven thirty p.m. and pop out again
an hour or so later. I made up my mind to return soon and do the
grand trip to Spitzbergen, that is as far as ordinary travellers can go.
But this ambition and desire of my heart, like so many otliers, remains
unfulfilled. How I would love to go there with Munmiie & you and
sail those silent and unrufiled waters of the j^ords, winding in and out
between the high mountains, every turn bringing a new surprise.

1 . Ratan Kumar Nehru: a nephew ofjawaharlal Nehru. A member of the Indian Civil
Service, he rose to a senior position in independent India’s foreign serv'ice. Rajan is his
wife.

• GROWING UP •

109

I hope you gave my love to Mont Blanc and the Dents du Midi, &
Lac Leman & our many friends in that part of the world.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

La Pelouse,
Bex,

24th November, i935

Darling Papu* and Mummie,

Papu, I have given your letter to Mile H. and have unpacked and
arranged my things — (people here had never seen anybody with so
many boxes). But nothing has been decided yet about my studies.

I share a room with a girl from Oxford — we had to solemnly
promise not to speak in English.

I expect I shall be a bit of a misfit here — for the girls are younger
than I am (except one, who is nineteen & with whom I have not yet
talked — she is a Swede) and the teachers are older. But this is my first
day and a Sunday so one can’t really say what it will be like later &
when I have glued myself to Latin & German.

An occasional letter or postcard to me will not require much brain
work so Papu will you please write sometimes? Besides I shall want
news about Mummie — I hope she is srmhng and chasing away the
pains and behaving generally like a litde lioness.

With lots of love to both of you.
Ever your loving,
Indu

L Since Kamala Nehru’s health deteriorated in the autumn of 1935,Jawaharlal was
released from prison and joined his wife at Badenweiler. Indira was then sent to her
former school in Be.x

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

I 10

[La Pelouse]
Bex,

24th November, 1935

Darling Mumniie and Papu,

My timetable has been made up. I think the routine is going to be
terrible. I don’t mind the getting up and going to sleep parts — ^but
there is only half an hour for letters on Thursday and some time on
Sundays. Hours will be spent in the singing and drawing classes. At
present I’m not interested in them and shall probably feel miserable.
‘Couture’/ whatever it is, also takes up time. When one leaves school
one expects to have done with this sort of thing and compulsory
walks, etc. Even if you like going it feels so awful to be told you have
to go. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

How has Mummie been keeping? Give her all my love.

Your loving,
Indu

Badenweiler,
27th November, 1935

Darling Indu,

I can quite understand your feeling about the timetable. School
timetables are apt to irritate as one grows up and especially when one
has special work to do. Still, they have their uses and when one lives
in any establishment a disciplined life in harmony with the other
residents is helpful and desirable. Otherwise one becomes an odd
number, not fitting in with the others. This does not produce much
peace of mind. The real difficulty is that you are educationally and
physically in a transition stage — between school and university. You
are just beyond school and not quite of the university standard.
Meanwhile I think it would be a good thing if you tried to fit in with
the routine of La Pelouse in so far as you can do so conveniendy.

Today I had a visit firom Raja Rao,^ a young South Indian who

1 . Sewing or needlework.

2. Raja Rao* writer and novelist.

• GROWING UP •

III

lives near Paris and has married a French girl. He came alone from
Mulhouse across the Rhine where he is spending some days. I hked
him.

If you want any more books for your course you will let me know.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

Badenweiler,
3rd/4th December, 1935

Darling,

I have not written to you for some days. Indeed I have not written to
anybody. I have been working very hard. A great deal of my time has
been spent with Mummie who has not been well at all and as Madan
Bhai also is not here I have to spend practically the whole day with
her. Yesterday I did not even come back for lunch. Today I went back
after a hurried dinner and returned at nine thirty. The aspiration^
took place this evening. I hope she will be better tomorrow. Her
temperature has been keeping up and she has had several sleepless
nights.

The rest of my time has been given, almost every minute of it till
late at night, to revising my manuscript of In & Out^ This has become
a terrible job. I have got through over half of it and I hope to finish it
in another week.

Frau Ehrhardt^ gave me quite a lecture two days ago. She told me
that I was not eating enough or sleeping enough and was developing
nerves as a result of over-work. She said she had observed that I shook
my head unconsciously during meals!

On Sunday I went to Mulhouse or Mulhausen. It was the very
worst day I could have chosen. It rained hard continuously and the

1. The withdrawal of fluids firom the pleural cavity by means of suction This treatment
is given in pulmonary ailments.

2. In and Out of Prison: this was the title which Jawaharlal initially gave to his memoirs
when he wrote them in prison firom June 1934 to February 1935. These memoirs
were later published as An Autobiooraphy (John Lane, The Bodley Head Ltd, London,
1936).

3 The landlady

112

• TWO At-ONE, TWO TOGETHER •

wind blew as if it wanted to blow us off. When I reached there I
found that my host Dr Dumesnil had developed influenza. Still I was
glad I went and I saw a very interesting municipal school for poor and
weak children.

Munmiic wants me to remind you to send some present to the
girl in Paris who frequently sends you gifts.

Love from,
Your loving,
Papu

La Pelouse,
Bex,

5th December, 1935

Darling Mums & Papu,

You must be liaving rather a terrible time with In & Out. 1 hope it’s
nearly finished — you simply must have more rest.

On the 3rd morning at six forty-five, when Mile switched on the
light, everybody was fi-ightfully sleepy and angry — ^but two little words
had the effect of magic that no amount of scolding could ever have —
il ncige ^ — Hoop la! Out we jumped and there was a rush for the balcony.
Since then it has hardly ceased. We have had two days of lugeing and
skiing — isn’t it lovely? I’m still rather clumsy on my skis and tumble
almost every time — but I suppose it will be all right in a few days.

The other day Mile H. took me into a room and told me to write
to you — about Chand & Tara’s coming here. She said that she had no
idea how much Puphi could afford and if Puphi thought her fees too
high, she would willingly charge less.

With all my love to you both,
Your loving,
Indu

1. It’s snowing.

• GROWING UP •

IIS

[Badcmrcilcr]
21st December [193S\

Darling,

1 do not know when you are arriving.

Mummie’s condition took a turn for the worse this morning. It is
nther serious. So you must be brave. Come up to Waldeck.

Your loving,
Papu

There is no immediate danger. A specialist is coming from
Heidelberg.

BademveUer,
13th Janmry, 1936

Indu darling,

Munimie had an aspiration this afternoon and for the first time oil
\\as put in. The aspiration itself was a success, though for some time
afterwards Mummie had great pain. The next two days will show
what the immediate reactions are.

Madan Bhai saw a sanatorium near Lausanne and one in Leysin.
He preferred the Lausanne one. I am in a fix what to do. I do not
think that from the point of view of treatment a change makes much
difTercnce. In fact there are certain advantages in carrying on here,
but the fact that Mummie herself wants to go elsewhere is very
important and therefore I think that she ought to be removed. I should
like to take her away before I go to India. Probably I shall now sail
about the 23rd February or thereabouts. I shall go to London in the
last week of January (the date is stiU uncertain) and return early in
February. Till then Mummie wall anyhow remain here. The change
over might take place after my return from London. Meanwhile we
shall watch the results of the oil injection.

Love,
Your lovdng,
Papu

114

• TWO ALONr. TWO 'lOGKTHnR •

Badcnweiler,
15tli January, 1936

Indu dear,

Yesterday morning I wrotc^ to you that Mummie was looking better.
The aspiration with oil had been a success. In the afternoon she had
a bad time with a cough, trying to bring out a lot of slimy stuS" which
was troubling her. This seems to have been due to weakness of the
heart which was not functioning properly. The attack did not seem to
involve immediate danger but it was very exhausting indeed as it lasted
for three or four hours. The night was a restless one with little sleep.
It was not considered desirable to give her a strong sleeping draught
as this has a numbing effect on the heart. The temperature also went
up high during the night. Early in the morning — about four — she
fell sound asleep and she still sleeps as I write at ten thirty.

Love from Mummie and,
Your loving,
Papu

Badcnweiler,
17th Jamtar}>, 1936

Darling,

Mummie had a fairly good day today. She looked brighter. I am
continuing my reading out to her. We have just finished an Oppenheim"
thriller!

I had a talk with [Dr] Steffan today about our shifting to
Switzerland. To my surprise he agreed. So now we intend moving as
soon as I return from London. That will be at the end of the first
week of February. We do not yet know where we shall go but I imagine
it will be near Lausanne.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

1. Refers to lettef,dated 13 January 1936 (No. 88).

2. Edward Phillips Oppenheim: English novelist.

• GROWING UP •

II5

Badenweiler,
22nd January, 1936

Sweetheart,

Mummie kept going well today. Last night also was a restful one. She
is eating well. We are now busy making arrangements for the removal
to Lausanne. It is a complicated affair and requires a lot of staff work.

I have been busy all day with the packing. Most of my books have
gone into one of the famous crocodile cases of Madan Bhai. I thought
this would be strong enough for this weight.

Provisionally we have fixed the 30th January for the removal. I
think it would be a good thing if you could pay Mummie a brief visit
soon after her arrival at Lausanne. February 2nd is a Sunday and you
might come in the morning and return in the evening to Bex.

Now that we are going to be in Lausanne I hope I shall have the
chance of seeing a little more of you before I return to India. Perhaps
I might even pay you a Httle visit at Bex later on — ^if you wiU invite me!

Owing to heavy expenses we have rather unexpectedly run short
of money just when we wanted it for the removal, etc. I am expecting
some, however, during the next four or five days. Meanwhile I am
going to London %vith practically nothing except my ticket.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

La Pelouse,
Bex,

23 rd January, 1936

Darling,

I am so glad Mummie can come to Switzerland — for so many months
she has been so keen on leaving Badenweiler that it is sure to do her
good. But the journey is going to be an awful strain and I should feel
happier if you were accompanying her, though I suppose with an
ambulance car Madan Bhai and Annette^ will manage quite well.

Sister Annette: the nurse attending Kamala Nehru.

• TWO ALONL. TWO TOOrTHI'-R •

I 16

I woke np on Sunday morning with a queer singing feeling in my
heart. At first 1 was not quite sure whether it indicated sorrow or
joy — later I decided it is always best to assume the feeling is one of
joy. I lay in bed till nine thinking all sorts of things of the past and
what the years to come would bring. 1 thought of you and Mummie.
1 felt curiously peaceful. Where and when had I felt like this before?
Then I remembered it was at Badenweiler . . . Like that night I felt at
perfect peace with the world as well as with myself. Since then, the
feeling has remained. 1 love everything — the horrible south wind
included — and I am feeling happy and frightfully optimistic about
everything.

The teacher who puts us to bed is like the crocodile in Peter Pan.
One hears her singing when she is a mile off. I hear her approaching
now. In two minutes she will be here, saying, 7/ est temps'.^ So I must
stop.

With lots of love to Mummie 8c you.

Ever yours,
Indu

Clinique Syluaiw,
[Luusaiwe]
2nd Febmary, 1936

Darling Papu,

1 waited anxiously till eight p.m. on the 31st. But no telegram came.
Then 1 decided to phone to this clinique. I was told that Mummie
had just arrived.

I came here this morning, Mummie did not have a very good
night and this morning she was given a bath. And of course the effects
of the journey are still there — so she does not look very cheerful. She
has been coughing rather a lot. She has no temperature just now, but
yesterday & at night it was high.

Her room here is large & spacious and has a balcony with a lovely
view of the lake & mountains. There is a bathroom on one side &
Sister Annette’s room on the other. Next to the nurse’s room is Madan
Bhai’s.

1. It IS time.

• GROWING UP •

JI7

Immediately after arrival I had to read out all your letters to Mums.
Madan Bhai has some difficulty with your handwriting. So you had
better write in English. Anyway reading those letters gave me news
of you & I had a peep into your programme. I am glad you saw the
Chinese Exhibition.

As a gift from spring, I brought for Mummie, a tiny bunch of the
first spring flowers that are now blooming in all the fields — dcs petits
epatiques violets et dcs primcveres jaimes et mturcllement despagrets} Princess
Anstarchi^ has sent a bunch of roses to Mums.

With tons of love,
Indu

Mummie sends her love.

La Pelouse,
Bex,

11th Febmary, 1936

Darling Papu and Mums,

It was lovely to see both of you again and a week seems an awfully
long time to wait. I’m afraid I have really got all the bad qualities of
the only child and feel so dependent on you. I don’t know what I’m
going to do when I shall be left all alone.

I hope Mummie is feeling much better.

With tons of love & kisses.
Ever your loving,
Indu

NOTE: Soon after her move to the Clinique Sylvana, near Lausanne,
towards the end of February, 1936, Kamala Nehru’s condition took a
sudden turn for the worse. She died peacefully on the morning of
28th February. With her, when she died, were Jawaharlal Nehru and
Dr Atal. Indira Nehru, too, was close by. Kamala was cremated in
Lausanne. Afterwards, Jawaharlal carried her ashes for immersion,
according to Hindu custom, to the Sangaiu at Allahabad.

Two days before her death Jawaharlal Nehru wrote a poignant

1. Tiny pretty WolcLs and yellow primroses and naturally some daisies
•- FE.Anstarchi, a Greek princess and disciple of Mahatma Gandhi

118

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

letter about Kamala to Swami Abhayanandaji. Kamala had often turned
to Swamiji for spiritual solace during the last years of her life.

Syhmia,
Lausanne,
26th February, 1936

Dear Swami Abhayanandaji,

Your letter of the 17th came today and it came opportunely. I read it
out to Kamalaji and it gave peace and joy and a forgetfulness of pain
for a while.

She had been keeping fairly well for over two weeks. There had
been no rise in temperature and it seemed that she was getting over
her pleural trouble. But gradually, unnoticed almost, other troubles
grew and yesterday her temperature shot up again. Her body, after
the terrible long fight it has put up with, seems to have exhausted all
its strength and is deteriorating. It cannot cope with litde ills even and
they grow. One never knows what she may not be capable of even
now but, ordinarily speaking, there is no hope.

I was to have left her day after tomorrow for India but now I have
postponed my departure for ten or eleven days.

With regards,
Yours sincerely,
Jawaharlal Nehru

Heliopolis Hotel,
Cairo,

8th March, 1936

Darling,

Here am I again stopping at a very fashionable hotel, reeking of luxury
and jazz and dancing, and enormous public rooms, and wide corridors,
and crowds of waiters and dragomans & page-boys dashing about. I
take advantage of the lovely bathrooms by having two baths during
my short stay.

When I left Marseilles I could see in the distance the snow-covered
Alps, probably Mont Blanc was one of the peaks. We were flying
high — about 4500 metres which is, I think, over 14,000 ft.

• GROWING UP •

119

The Mediterranean was of a wonderful colour — deep blue,
sometimes turning to emerald green near the coastline. A spot mov'ed
rapidly across the face of the waters — it was our shadow. Little islands
were continually appearing and disappearing, cunningly shaped they
were, fantastic little things dotted about over the blue sea, which crept
inside them and sent its arms to embrace them.

The great height at wliich we were flying made it just a little difficult
to breathe wth ease. Our plane is a beauty. It is a great big aluminium
bug with two eyes sticking out over its nose and graceful wings
stretching out on either side. It bears the name Perkoetet, which in
Dutch means, I think, wood pigeon or some such thing.

The height played strange tricks. A fellow passenger took out his
fountain-pen. As he unscrewed the cap a fountain of ink splashed
out. The lessening of atmospheric pressure had induced the ink to
jump out in this way. The poor man’s clothes were spoilt.

On arrival at the Cairo airport I found Fouad Bey^ waiting for
me. He was the same as ever and embraced and kissed me. One of his
first questions was about you.

His wife is away and so I did not see her. But Bobby, his son, came
round later and we had a long talk. Fouad Bey told me that he was
too full of politics to attend to his studies. He belongs to the Bazis
(after the Nazis) — from Baz, a hawk. I was surprised to find how
extremely naive he & others were about political matters.

It would be a graceful thing if you would send a few lines to Fouad
Bey and tell him that you would be happy to see him when he comes
to Suisse. This would cheer him up no end.

From tomorrow the deserts and the day after, India.

Love fiom,
Papu

River Front Hotel,
Baghdad,
9th March, 1936

Darling,

We are in Asia now, in famous Baghdad, but famous in history only
for today it is a miserable enough place.

I • Fouad Selim Bey: an Egyptian friend of the Nchrus.

120

• TWO ALON'i;, TWO TOGETHTR •

We covered the 600 niilcs from Gaza to Baghdad in three and a
quarter hours and were here early in the afternoon. Tomorrow’s run
is a very long one. It will take us to the heart of India. We pass Karachi
at tea-time and reach Jodhpur in the evening. There we spend the
night and another two hours day after tomorrow morning will bring
us to Allahabad — the end of my journey.

I went out for a drive with a fellow passenger round Baghdad. It is
a dreary enough place with nothing to commend it.The women almost
invariably had long black cloaks covering them from head to ankle,
usually with their faces exposed. Sometimes the faces also were veiled.
There were plenty of women about. Most of them seemed to wear
short skirts under their cloaks and high-heeled shoes. Some had
slippers without heels or back, like they do in India. In the outskirts
of Baghdad we saw the quarters of the very poor — they lived in huts
covered with palm-leaves. Poverty indeed was visible all over the town.
There were plenty of cafes of various kinds and degrees of
respectability and all of them seemed to be crowded with people
(men) drinking coffee or smoking hookahs. I almost shuddered at
the thought of having to sit there.

During my drive round the town I stopped at an Indian shop and
went & introduced myself to the owner. He was a Sindhi. He became
quite excited and later on he and a crowd of other Indians trooped
up to my hotel and we talked for about two hours.

It appears that I have quite a reputation in Iraq. The newspapers
often refer to me and one of their promising young men — ^who is
now the Iraqi minister in Rome — ^has been nicknamed ‘the Jawaharlal
of Iraq’. Fortunately none knew of my coming and I escaped interviews
and the like. I was glad and I was tired and in no mood for this kind
of thing.

This is my last letter to you from the way. My next will be probably
from Anand Bhawan.

My love to you, my dear.

Your loving,
Papu

• GROWING UP •

121

[Anaitd Bliawaii]
Allahabad,
12th March, 1936

Darling,

Yesterday the Pcrkoctet brouglrt me to Bamrauli soon after eight in the
morning. There were many friends there, sad-looking and silent. At
home Dol Amma sat looking terribly shrivelled up. The shock had
been very great for her.

All day people came and hundreds of telegrams. In the afternoon
there was a huge procession carrying the ashes to the Satigam. For
three hours we walked silently right through the city and across a
long stretch of sand, and then at the Saiigam I put the ashes in the
Ganga to be borne away to the sea.

1 have been feeling very tired and weary but I may not rest. The
Congress session is very near and I must see people before then and
then sit down to write my address.’ Day after tomorrow I go to
Lucknow and then to Sitapur (to visit Nani). From there I go to Delhi
to Bapu.

Write to Dol Amma. She has been hard hit and a hne from you
\vill cheer her.

Love,

Papu

Lm Pclouse,
Bex,

22nd March [1936]

D.uling Papu,

1 have your letters. I do not know where or when you will get this as
you are travelling about.

How time flies. In less than two weeks the holidays begin. In two
weeks I shall be admiring the masterpieces of the Ancient Romans
and the beauties of Grecian culture in Sicily. And in the odd free

t. Jaw.-il)arbl Nehru was President of the forty-ninth session of the Indian National
Congress held at Lucknow in April 1936.

122

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

moments — Latin! Somehow I am not excited at the prospect; it is
queer, for it is the sort of thing I have always liked & it is all the more
a wonderful opportunity because the teachers with us are experts
(almost!) in the history of Roman & Grecian art. But somehow I feel
I would be happier in a tiny cottage all by myself and books. And yet
when I am alone it is not good for me for I mope. And ‘books’, says
Mile H. are depressing for me. The exam is coming nearer and nearer
and I am not at all prepared for it. What’s to be done? I can hardly
spend more time on my books than I do now, unless of course I was
allowed to stay up later than eight thirty which everybody thinks is an
unthinkable idea.

Your letters are always welcome & I look forward to them but
please don’t write if you don’t have the time — I feel awfully guilty.
And please do try to snatch a little rest whenever you can — ^instead of
writing to me.

My love to Bapu & namaskars to everybody I know.

With lots of love,
Indu

I am writing to Dol Amma.

Harijan Colony,
Delhi,

22nd March, i936

Darling,

Gurudev passed this way two nights ago and I went to see him at the
station. He made all manner of enquiries after you. He was travelling
with his troupe to Lahore to give some performances and collect
funds. It is scandalous that at his age he should have to tour about in
this way. He is very weak and it seemed to me that his mind was
giving way — that is, he forgets things very' rapidly. On his way here he
paid a visit to Allahabad. Bapu told me that Gurudev paid a very
beautiful tribute to Mummie. I have not seen it but as soon as I get it
I shall send it to you.

In Rome I found soon after my arrival that an engagement had
been fixed up with Mussolini — ^in spite of my repeated requests that
no such thing should be done. However I stuck to my decision not to
see him; with great politeness & firmness I declined. It was a very
difficult and trying time for me.

• GROWING UP •

123

Padmaja is here, or rather in New Delhi. She has grown much
thinner and is very weak and frail.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

Today I saw an exceedingly beautiful picture. It was by a Bulgarian
artist, Boris Georgiev. The picture represented the Indian peasant
with all his misery and resignation and devotion. I looked at it for
long and was greatly moved by it. On it the artist had written (for he
has learnt a little Hindi): Daridra Narayan ko Namaskar} He travels
about in a motor caravan which he has himself built. He made a
sketch of me today. It was a strain for me to pose for some time. The
sketch was not bad but he was not satisfied and he is going to have
another shot soon.

100

\Anand Bhawan]
Allahabad,
30th March, 1936

Sweetheart,

Perhaps you know that the British Govt, has informed Subhas Bose
that it he returns to India he is liable to be arrested and sent to prison.
This news upset me and made me very angry. On arrival here from
Dellii I had a letter from Subhas asking me what he should do. A
difficult question for me to answer. AU my inclination was that he
should come back in spite of the Govt.’s intimation to him. And yet it
IS not easy to send another to prison. So at first I cabled to him to
postpone his departure. But on fiirther consideration and after consulting
colleagues I cabled again suggesting to him to return immediately. I
have thus made myself responsible for his return to prison.^

AU my love.
Your loving,
Papu

Salutations to God as manifested in the poor.

2. Subhas Chandra Bose did m fact return and was impnsoned. He was elected President
of the Congress in 1938 and 1939.

124

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

lOI

[La Peloiise]
Bex,

1st April, 1936

Darling Papu,

I long to come to you to help you in some way so that you may get a .
few moments of rest. But what can I do from here or even if I were in
India? And if I were there beside you it would be more painful to see
your dear face so tired and your eyes closing with weariness and I so
close by but unable to prevent its being so or to help in any way.
Please try and snatch a little rest every free moment — I know it is not
easy for there is such [an] immense lot to be done, but you must try
for it will help you to do more the next day.

Spring is so beautiful here and this year it has come earlier than
usual. I miss you so much — I should like to lead you through the
garden, show you the magnolias that are opening, to take you through
fields of swaying daffodils and the woods frill of heather — the bonny
purple heather about wliich so many poets have sung.

With all my love,
Indu

102

Atiand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
1st April, 1936

Darling mine,

1 hope you are already in Italy and feeling the charm and magic of
that beautiful country. How I wish I was with you.

Do not worry about my having time or not to write to you. I
always have time for that.

I wrote to you about Gurudev’s tribute to Mummie. I saw it a
little while ago and it moved me greatly. I am enclosing it. It is really
a wonderful thing how Mummies personality has impressed millions
of people. Nothing like it has happened to my knowledge in India.
The tributes that have come from the most unexpected quarters have
not been formal ones; they have been full of affection and sorrow
and admiration. Character and dignity and quiet restraint, together

• GROWING UP •

125

with inner fire, have a way of stealing into the hearts of millions.

Many poems in English and Hindi & Urdu and other, languages
have been written. They are not good as poetry, often they are siUy,
but they give some expression to the universal love which vast numbers
felt for Mummie. I enclose two such poems for you to see.

My Longines wristwatch, of which I have been so proud and which
has given me uninterrupted service for nine years, suddenly stopped
the other day, to my astonishment. I had no other and I could not do
without one, so I rushed to a local watch dealer and purchased a
cheap West End one — an incassable} Three days later the Longines
changed its mind and started functioning again, but I am a little doubtful
of it now. It was curious that after returmng from the home of watches
I should have to buy one in Allahabad.

Your letter reached Dol Amma today. She was greatly affected when
she had it read out to her.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

103

[Original in Hindi]

[Anand Bhawan]
Allahabad,
2nd April, 1936

Dear daughter,

A letter for you has come from Bapu. I am sending it. He has not
written neatly therefore I am writing it again so that you can read it
easily.

Lucknow,
30 th March, 1936

Chi} Indu,

Kamala’s passing away has added to your responsibilities but I have

1- Unbreakable.

2. Chiranjiv. May you live long.This term is often used in Hindi when an elder writes
in an affectionate tone to a younger person.

126

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

no misgivings about you.You have grown so wise that you understand
your dharma fully well. Kamala possessed some qualities rarely found
in other women. I am entertaining the hope that all the qualities of
Kamala will be manifested in you in equal measure. May God give
you long life and strength to emulate her virtues.

This time I have been able to have heart-to-heart talks with
Jawaharlal. I shall leave here for Allahabad on the 3rd April. It has
been decided that I should stay on till the Congress session but you
should address your reply to Wardha.^

Blessings from,
Bapu

104

Roma,
6th April, 1936

Darling Papu,

Here I am in Rome.We arrived at about 6 o’clock and walked about
here & there & in the Piazza Venezia. Somehow I am disappointed in
Rome — it is not what I expected — though of course it is too early to
judge yet, without seeing anything.

Florence was a most charming place. The narrow streets and quaint
houses were delightful and the churches were so beautiful. And there
were the incomparable works of Michelangelo. At Florence there
were even a few rickshaws.

Here everybody talks of the great Italian victories. II Duce’s
photographs are very much in evidence.

7th April
7.30 p.m.

It has been a lovely day.

We went to the Museum of the Vatican, St Peter’s & inside the Vatican.

8th April
9 p.m.

We have been looking at the most beautiful things. We have seen

1 . Town in Madhya Pradesh. In 1930 Mahatma Gandhi moved from Ahmedabad to a
village called Segaon, nearWardha.This village was renamed Sevagram, the Village
ofServ’ice.

• GROWING UP •

127

most of the churches & tliis morning had an audience with the Pope.*
He looked very tired but seemed sympathetic.

We are leaving Rome tomorrow evening for Naples and from
there we go to Palermo.

I do miss you so & want to write long letters but here we have no
time. We leave the pension at eight fifteen a.m. and return at nine p.m.

All my love,
Indu

105

[Anand Bimmn]
Allahabad,
6th April, 1936

Darling Indu,

You must be in Italy having some rest I hope, and filhng your eyes
with the sight of beautiful things. I think of you wandering through
that beautiful country and some of the joy that you must experience
passes on to me.

We are fiiU up here in Anand Bhawan, overfull with guests. There
is Bapu and Ba^ and Mahadeva and four others of their party. And
Vallabhbhai and his daughter. And Mrs Naidu and Padmaja. Betty &
Raja are here also with their two kids. Tomorrow morning Bui and
Perm are arriving. Swaraj Bhawan contains a crowd of Working
Committee members. All day today we have sat in committee and
talked and argued till most of us were worn out. We repeat the process
tomorrow and at night proceed to Lucknow. It is all very exhausting
and the prospect is not an easy one.

My presidential address is ready now. It is being sent to you by
ordinary post.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

1- Pope Pius XI, born 1875, Pope 1922-39.

2 Kasturba Gandhi; wife of Mahatma Gandhi who was active in social work. She was
affectionately called Ba (mother) by the people.

128

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER ♦

106

RtIcmOj
14th April [1936\

Darling Papu,

You must be very busy with the Congress. Here there is such a lot to
see and hardly enough time. We have to rush through museums &
churches with the most beautiful mosaics & frescos.

Sicily is beautiful but except for the Greek temples, museums &
churches, nothing very marvellous. Everybody in our group is in
ecstasy at the scenery & flowers. But it is the same in many parts of
India, where I have been. The people are poor and the roads dirty &
full of creaking carts & victorias. There are many beggars and a lot of
singing and shouting in the streets. The people are dark and stare at
us as at strange objects in a museum — in the villages the sight of a car
seems to be rare, for as we are passing through everybody shouts to
each other & rushes out to see the marvel. It reminds me so much of
India — I feel terribly homesick.

Mussolini’s sayings are printed m huge letters on village walls &
at almost every street corner there is printed a rectangle with ‘18
NOVEMBER’ printed inside. These words are also formed by plants
& stones in the parks and every Italian carries in his purse a piece of
paper with the notice — Do Not Forget 18th November. This is the
date sanctions were applied.’

Sicilians are very proud of their little island & especially Palermo.
The first question anybody in the street asks is how do you like our
city.

The sea is lovely — we have been bathing three times; it was
wonderful.

With tons of love,
Indu

1 , In an attempt to stop the w.nr which broke out in 1 935 between It.aly and Abyssinia,
the Lc.igue of Nations decl.ircd Italy the ag^cssor and adopted sanctions against her.

• GROWING UP •

129

107

La Pelouse,
Bex,

26th April [1936]

Darling Papu,

Back at La Pelouse the trip to Sicily seems just a beautiful dream.

The trip was lovely and we saw things of wondrous beauty. But
my thoughts were ever with you. Standing before the gorgeous
Mediterranean and admiring its wonderful colours, a face tired & sad
would float on it and I hated myself for being there among such
loveliness while you had such hard work and were so tired. It was a
lovely trip — everything was worth seeing but of all Agngento was the
most magnificent, with its ancient Greek temples — the ruins, of course.
But to live in, Florence & Taormina are simply paradise.

All my love,
Indu

I08

[La Pelouse]
Bex,

7 th May, 1936

Darling Papu,

I did not write to you last Sunday. I have such an enormous lot to do
that it IS terrible. Apart from meals & other compulsory things such as
walks, etc., there is not a moment when I am not buried in my
textbooks.The trip to Sicily was beautiful & I enjoyed it but now I am
regretting it. I would much rather have worked a httle throughout the
vacations than to have enjoyed myself then and to have to rush myself
now.

Agatha Harrison^ has sent me Thompson’s" review of your book.^
I wonder if you have seen it. Will the publishers send you all the
reviews or do you have to fish for yourself?

1 Agatha Harrison: British Quaker activist who supported the national movement in
India. She was close to Mahatma Gandhi andjawaharlal Nehru.

2. Edward Thompson; missionary, writer and close friend ofjawaharlal, who supported
the cause of Indian freedom.

3- The Autobwgraphy was published by John Lane, the Bodley Head, in 1936.

130

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

It might interest you to hear that all the frocks I had last summer
and which fitted me to perfection are now a bit too short and so
narrow that I can hardly breathe in them and, mind you, they have
not shrunk! But don’t be alarmed, I shall not rush into the nearest
shop and buy a set — I have had them all arranged and all’s well now.
I eat enormously and am much better at gym.

All my love,
Indu

109

Lahore,
2nd June, 1936

Darling Indu,

I have not been able to survive the six days of my Punjab tour. Four
days of it have laid me low and today, the fifth day, I am spending
largely in bed. Punjabi popular welcomes are formidable affairs. In
my case they have been truly terrific. Both in towns and villages, vast
crowds have collected and have overwhelmed me. The programme
has been a terribly heavy one, involving long motor journeys. The
heat was bad but it was finally the dust that proved too much for me.
My throat is all swollen and I can hardly speak without difficulty.

All this great popular affection, though trying enough, is also
moving. Among a wilderness of excited compliments the most
charming and pleasing was one from a young man who objected to
much that was said, but added: tnsi pyare ho te change ho. ^

Tomorrow night I go back to Allahabad.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

In train to Wardlia,
29 th June, 1936

Darling,

My thoughts go to you today especially and I think of the burden of

1 . You are dear and good

• GROWING UP •

I3I

your examination. It will begin today and you will have your seven
hours of it, and again tomorrow and the day after. I remember reading
somewhere what a famous Professor of the Sorbonne said once during
the Middle Ages. He compared examinations to the sufferings in
purgatory and came to the conclusion that the former were far worse.
As a matter of fact, examinations as they are conducted today are no
real test of anything worthwhile. Often those who do well in
examinations are failures subsequently in life, and vice versa. So it is
absurd to take them too seriously or to grow enthusiastic or depressed
over them.

Love,

Papu

III

Badminton School,^
Westbury-on-Trym,
Bristol,
nth July, 1936

Darhng Papu,

Sometime ago Efy (Princess Aristarchi) told me a great secret of hers
& asked me to write to you about it as she was sure you would not
misunderstand. I don’t know what you can do about it, but still. She
has an idea, in fact she is quite sure, that Mira Behn^ has done & is
doing everything to prevent Efy’s coming to India & has tried to
prevent her coming near Bapu. For this reason Efy does not see the
Rollands — for they are great friends of Mira’s. Efy does not want
Bapu or the Ashram people to know about this or indeed anybody at
^Andrews^ knows & sympathises.

I had lunch with Menon'* at a Chinese restaurant; he seems to be
much better & certainly sounded more cheerful. At Oxford I lunched
one day with Chakravarty. He will soon be going to India for good. . .

L Indira went to Badminton School in order to learn Latin

2 Madeleine Slade: Enghshwoman who became a disciple of Mahatma Gandlii. She
was known as Mira Behn.

3 Charles E Andrews: Cambridge missionary who supported the nationahst movement
in India He was a close friend of Mahatma Gandhi andjawaharlal Nehru.

y.K Krishna Menon radical nationalist who promoted the cause of Indian freedom
in Great Britain. He was very close to the Nehrus.

132

• TWO ALONH, TWO TOGCTHCR •

I have a nice room to myself here with a beautiful view — the early
morning & late evening sky is specially lovely. The sunsets are
gorgeous. . . . [incomplete]

JI2

[Badminton School[
Bristol,
18th July, 1936

Darling Papu,

Did I tell you that we saw Ruth Draper in London? She is an American
impersonator & does original character sketches. She was simply
marvellous. Without any make-up or change of dress except for putting
on a shawl or a cardigan on her evening dress, she made herself look
young or old, fat or thin, tall or short, according to the part she was
acting and when she was on the stage, although there is no furniture
& she is quite alone, so perfect was her acting & speaking in every
detail that one imagined all the other people present. I loved her,

I wish you had met Miss Baker.* She is very nice. She is very
interested in the League of Nations & is the Vice-President of the
League of Nations Union in Bristol. She is a pacifist. The History
teacher is also very interesting.

I am getting more used to the place now & have begun to
distinguish a few names & faces of the 200 people that surround me.
I like this place. There is a newspaper hour in which we discuss with
Miss Baker the chief events of the week & various articles &
developments. Last evening I went to a L. of N. [League of Nations]
youth group meeting to hear a lecture on pacifism.

Lots of love,
Indu

1 . Miss B.M. Baker: Headmistress of Badminton School.

• GROWING UP •

133

113

Badminton School,
Bristol,
25th July [1936\

Darling Papu,

I am still undecided about the tuition during the hoHdays. Miss Baker
said she would try & find out if it was possible to go out into the
country which is more desirable than remaining in London.

I heard from Parvati Kumaramangalam — Mr Subbarayan’s^
daughter, Mrs S. is in hospital in Basel. Her daughter & the rest of the
family live in a village just outside & go into town everyday. She
invites me to go there for a few days. I am afraid I cannot do so this
summer.

26th July

I am reading a number of books at the moment: Andre Maurois’s
Disraeli in French, We Say No by the Rev. Sheppard, some textbooks,
historical biographies and I have just finished Edith Sitwell’s Victoria,
Queen of England. I liked it. Maurois also is good. I have a book of his,
Ariel, which is the biography of Shelley in English and later I intend
reading his Edward VII et son temps. I want also to read Strachey’s Victoria.

27th July

Miss Baker asks me to teU you that if she is cross with anyone it wiU
be your responsibility for she is reading the ‘auto’ — she has no time
during the day and so has to read late at night and she finds it so
interesting that she gets very little sleep & is consequently tired in the
morning!!

I have a letter fixim Muriel Lester.^ She says there is a tiny room
free in her house & I can come for a day or two. She wants me to
meet the ‘Socialists’ of East London who back George Lansbury.^

1 • Dr P. Subbaraynn bamster and pobtical le.ader ofTamil Nadu Parvati Kumaramangakm
'ws his daughter. The children took the surname Kumaramangalam which is the
name of the estate of the family Parvati later became a Communist member of the
Indian Parliament

2. Munel Lester: social worker in London, who played host to Mahatma Gandhi
during his visit to Great Britain in 1931,

2- George Lansbury: L,abour leader of the 1930s.

134

• TWO ALONC, TWO TOGETHER •

27th July, 2.30 p.m.

Agatha has just had lunch & she will be leaving in a few minutes.
The decision reached is — I stay in London until the 2nd — spend the
day in Paris, then go to Bex for a week. On my return to London, I
shall take tuition & probably live with a family [oQ somebody Agatha
knows very well, just outside the city. I shall try & take the three
subjects in Sept. Then come to this school for a term. It is going to be
a pretty stiff fight for the Entrance. Everybody says its awfully difficult
to get in & of course I have not had the courses & training required.
My next letter will be from London.

Tons of love,
Indu

II4

In nmning train,
Hyderabad to Multan,
28th July, 1936

Darling,

Travelling brings little rest, for at every station there is a crowd and
much shouting of slogans, and big baskets of fruits and sweets, and of
course garlands & flowers. These symbols of affection and good will
are very welcome but they are burdens and often a nuisance. In the
cities, caskets and addresses accumulate and I have now two packing
cases full of them with me — all probably to go to the Allahabad
municipal museum, and later I hope to the national museum we shall
estabhsh at Swaraj Bhawan.

This reminds me. Vyas of the Allahabad municipality has for many
months been pressing me to give him for his museum the manuscript
of the Glimpses of World History. I have told him that this is your property
as they are letters addressed to you. These manuscripts have some
value and I should like to keep them for our future national museum.
But, if you agree, I could let Vyas have them on condition that he is to
return them whenever wanted by us.

Yesterday I was in Hyderabad, an attractive city. The procession in
Hyderabad was unique of its kind. Across the narrow bazaar, where
the rich shops were situated, hung all manner of articles. Each shop
put its own goods on the strings that stretched across the street. There
were silks and caps & hats & curtains and lanterns, brushes, biscuits &

• GROWING UP •

135

sweets, lofas 8c vessels, & even false beards! You know that wherever
you may go to in foreign countries, and especially at the great ports,
there is always a Sindhi shop of silks & curios & onental goods. All
these Sindhis come from Hyderabad and have their headquarters there.

Two or three days ago I had a longish camel ride — the first I have
had. It was across a sandy plain in South Sind. I liked it and found it
fairly comfortable and I am sure now that I could ride a camel for
hours wdthout much difficulty. It is a question of swinging your body
with the camel’s motion and a person used to horse-riding should
have no difficulty in doing so. But I did not like the smell of the
camel.

In a remote Sind village, as we went in procession, I saw that one
of the gates that had been created was named ‘Indira Gate’. I thought
of your heritage of storm and trouble and how, whether you liked it
or not, you could not rid yourself of it. None of us, in this present age,
can have an easy time or freedom from storm & trouble. But to some
of us fall a greater share of them and it is your lot, because of your
family and other reasons, to have to bear this heavier burden. May
you be ready for it when the time comes and accept it willingly and
take joy in it.

In Karachi and Hyderabad I met a delightful little girl, who is just
a year younger than you. She is Premi, the daughter of Jairamdas
Doulatram,’ whom you must remember. She is a very bright and
intelligent girl and we have become friends. She told me that her
ambition was to become a Joan of Arc and I remembered your
admiration for Jeanne d’Arc many years ago. Does that endure still? . . .

I am glad you saw Ruth Draper. I have read about her and have
long wanted to see her.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

f Genera! Sccrctar>’ of the Indian National Congress 19.31—34.

136

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

115

London,
1st August, 1936

Darling Papu,

The news about Dhan GopaP was a great shock. He was such a
charming personality — so very lovable. He always did have his moods,
but I never thought it would end hke this. I heard in Bex that he was
far from well. He was also having a lot of financial trouble — poor
soul.

Since my arrival in London I have been mostly with Raj Chachi
& Chacha^ and I have been rather bored. Most of the time has been
spent in shopping — once Chachi spent fifteen minutes inWoolworths
deciding whether to buy a green or a red pencil! The rest of the time
goes in eating huge lunches & dinners at Princes [restaurant] or some
such place. There is little to talk about, for Chacha is a bit narrow
minded, I am afiraid. If one disagrees with him on the shghtest point
he gets angry & nervous and one does not know what to do. He is
very proud of the fact that he has not spent a penny on books for the
last eight years and that he has read very v. few! I am afraid this is
something I simply cannot understand. So many good books come
out every week — it just makes one’s mouth water to have a peep at
the bookseller’s windows. I daren’t walk in for I am sure I would
spend a fortune before I walked out again — however I did walk in &
I did spend quite a lot. This is the only money I have spent in England
this time except for food, etc. I am sending you a book of Low’s’’—
some of the cartoons are really good. Agatha thought you would like
it & that anyway it would do you good to get in a laugh amidst all the
worry and the work. I have also bought a book of Schweitzer’s^ Sr
Inside Europe by Gunther.^ Also Edward W/ by Maurois.

Agatha & I have been room-hunting. We have found quite a nice
quiet place in Golders Green. It is a very healthy part of London

1. Dhan Gopal Mukliegee, Indian litterateur settled in the United States, and a friend
of the family ; he committed suicide.

2. Shri Shridhara Nehru, a cousin ofjawaharlal and his wife, Raj Dulari.

3. David Alexander Cecil Low; British cartoonist.

4. Albert Schweitzer: Alsatian physician, missionary and humanist, awarded the Nobel
Prize in 1952.

5. John Gunther: American journalist and writer.

• GROWING UP •

137

yet not too far from town. I have made arrangements about coaching.
I shall be at this place for just a month. Then I shall go to Oxford for
the exam & then Badminton in Bristol.

Darling Papu, please take as much care of yourself as possible and
please don’t worry about me. I shall be aU right & well.

With very much love,
Indu

Love from Raj Chachi. Love to Dol Amma.
I am anxious about Padmaja.

II6

Bex,

8th August, i936

Darling Papu,

Your nice long letter^ from the running tram was a very welcome &
pleasant surprise this morning.

However many beautiful sights and places I may see, I return here
to find that Switzerland is the most beautiful of all. As I write under
the shade of an enormous chestnut tree, on one side the Dent du
Midi (my favourite peak apart from the Matterhorn) peeps from above
thin wisps of clouds and on the other in the far distance shines the
Lac Leman in this glorious sunshine and the clouds make strange
patterns of light and shade on the dark, almost awe-inspiring
mountains beyond. And in the few days that I have had, there has
been an enormous amount of packing, making parcels & packets,
replying to an ever-increasing pile of letters, reading & then one has
to be social & converse charmingly. Phew! On the 10th I go to Zurich.
I wanted to see Lu & Eva [Geissler] and perhaps Nanu wiU also be
there. I have to be back in London on the 13th, which means leaving
Zurich on the 12th or late on the 11th.

On my way to Bex I spent two days in Paris. Feroze was there
and he showed me round. We walked & walked & saw everything
the American tourist sees. I was not a bit tired, although we must
have walked miles & miles. But now my leg muscles feel awfully
stiff That’s good for them, is it not? In Paris the first night Mme

L Refers to letter dated 28 July 1936 (No. 114).

138

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Morin^ took us to Versailles to see fete de mif' which only takes place
thrice a year. I liked it very much . . .

I am afraid the idea of putting the manuscript of Glimpses in the
museum does not appeal to me. I do not know how much care is
taken of these things and I should hate anything to happen to them.
However if you think that they will be quite safe and that it is advisable
to put them in the municipal museum let Vyas have them. I leave it to
you.

Tons of love,
Indu

117

Anand Bhawaii,
Allahdbad,
1 4th August, i936

Darling Indu,

I have just been to some of the flooded areas in this province. Lucknow
was not so bad as I thought and my description of the Gomti rushing
down Hazratganj proved to be entirely fanciful. But round about the
city and near the riverbank many parts are flooded. Motimahal was
partly under water. The villages with their mud huts have suffered
greatly, for the whole village melts away and disappears when the
waters invade it. The district of Gorakhpur looks almost hke a vast
ocean. I went about in a boat and it was a pleasing sight to see the
treetops coming out of the waters. But underneath the waters lay
tragedy. Over a thousand villages had disappeared and the crops had
been completely ruined. It was over these fields that I went boating. It
is a problem to feed and clothe the tens of thousands of refugees. And
a greater problem will be what to do with them later on. The waters
are going down now, leaving a scene of destruction behind and a
stench of dead and rotting fish.

Love,
Your loving,

Papu

1. Louise Morin; French journalist who was later to be in charge of the French unit of
the All India Radio. She was a friend of the Nehrus.

2. Pageant of the night, a show ofhght, music, fountains and fireworks.

• GROWING UP •

139

118

24 Fairfax Road,
N.W 6,
27 til August, 1936

Darling Papu,

From the above address you will see that I have changed my digs. This
is a great experiment in economizing. I hope it will be all right. Agatha
had addresses & I had some from my tutors but we could not find
anything below two guineas a week — even then I would have had to
take lunch & tea outside. This is a nuisance & a waste of time — none
of the places were near any restaurant. So I hunted on my own and
this is the result. I live up on the third floor in a sort of attic. It is a tiny
room but I have a good ivmdow, which catches every httle wisp of
breeze passing by. There is plenty of hght and air. But all I can see
from the window are a few treetops and the sky & the clouds. It costs
Xil8-6-0, four meals a day, baths, etc., all complete. Besides as it is
much nearer town than Hampstead (Fairfax Rd is next to Swiss Cottage,
if you still remember where that is) I save 6d a day on the bus! Don’t
you think it’s a good bargain — the room is not exactly beautiful but it
is not by any means ugly & a few flowers improve it a lot.

Psyche Captain was here a few days ago and took me to see
Chekhov’s The Seagull, The heroine was Peggy Ashcroft — do you
remember the girl we saw as Juliet and liked so much. The acting was
not bad.

When I was in Paris I just told Mme Morin that the French teacher
at Badminton School had told me to read modern authors to improve
my style in French and I asked her what authors she would suggest &
I should read. Since then I am receiving piles of French books. I feel
so embarrassed — I don’t know how to keep on thanking her.

With very much love,
Indu

II9

Anand Bhawan, Allahabad,
28th August, 1936

Darling Indu,

I am typing this letter for a change and for some practice. I get into

140

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

bad habits by relying too much on others. Upadhyaya^ has fallen ill
and so I have to fall back on my own resources. Of course I get a great
deal of help from the A.I.C.C. [All India Congress Committee] office
but I cannot take my private correspondence there and this is
prodigious.

Apart from our political work, we made some progress with the
Kamala Memorial Hospital scheme. We have so far made no real
effort to collect money for it, but we have got about Rs. 50,000 already.
But really we want ten lakhs and that is a fat sum which is very difficult
to collect. I would be satisfied if we could get half that for the present
at least. Quite a number of anonymous donations have come. Bui
received the other day a big dirty looking bundle. It was a towel
carelessly pinned together and it contained a thousand five-rupee
notes!

In Bombay we visited two talkie shows. This was not just for the
pleasure of it but to encourage Indian Talkies which were dealing
with village life. One of these, called Achhut Kanya, was the story of
an untouchable girl. It was quite a good film and Devika Rani^ made
a charming heroine.

In Bombay I had a novel experience. I made two records, one in
English, the other in Hindustani. These were the first two records of a
new Indian gramophone company which has just been started. I gave
a kind of a message in both to the Indian people. It was a trying
ordeal and I was quite exhausted by it. The actual recording business
did not take much time but the tests and trials were long and tiring.
Then we had to sit in a room which was closed up all round and the
fans were stopped to prevent any extraneous noise from spoiling the
record.

Thank you for your delightful gift — ^Low s Political Parade. I found
it waiting for me on my arrival this morning and I could not resist the
temptation to look into it even at the cost of other work which was
waiting for me.

The news from Spain^ troubles me a great deal. It affects me almost
as much as if all this was happening in India. Indeed what is happening
in Spain will have a tremendous effect on Europe and the world,

1. S.D. Upadhyaya, personal secretary to Motilal Nehru and later to Jawaharlal Nehru.

2. Devika Rani; filni actress, grandniece of Rabindranath Tagore.

3. The Spanish Civil War between Republicans and Nationalists broke out in July
1936.

• GROWING UP •

141

including of course India.

I found Dol Amma a little better. She is of course very weak but
she moves about slowly.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

120

Amnd Bhawan,
Allahabad,
i4th September, 1936

Darling Indu,

I have not written to you for the last ten days or so. It was physically
impossible for me to do so for I have been touring incessantly and
not having a moment to myself. My usual day was an eighteen-hour
one with about five hours of sleep. I have just returned. This morning
at Eta^vah I had a bit of strenuous exercise. A meeting at a very out-of-
the-way place had been fixed and a car could not reach it. So I had to
ride a bicycle for ten miles, a horse for fourteen miles, and to walk
two miles. All this on a muddy road — the walking was often in ankle-
deep of mud. The bicycle ride was unusual for me as I had not ridden
one for long. At one place the bicycle slipped and I had a fall, scratching
myself in various places. You can imagine how tired I am feeling at
present . . .

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

I2I

Anatid Bhawan,
Allahabad,
24th September, 1936

Darling Indu,

For the last five or six hours I have been busy arranging some of
Mummie’s and your things. So far I have not had time to look through
the luggage that came from Switzerland. Today I had a good look at it.

142

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

What memories it brought me! I seem to Hve on memories now so
much.

Your examination must be over — mine goes on and on and there
are no holidays. But you must have good rest and a change. This
insomnia business is a bad sign. It shows that you must be run down.

I had a nice letter from Mrs ToUer^ in which she told me about
meeting you. I am glad you liked each other. I have many other friends
in England who are worth meeting. I should like you to meet Mrs
Huxley, Aldous Huxley’s^ wife.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

122

24 Fairfax Road,
London N.W 6,
29th September, 1936

Darling Papu,

My thoughts are with you every moment — ^your tours must be tiring
affairs and you must be so weary. And then aU the secretarial work to
do as well — I hope Upadhyaya is well by now. It is strange that there
should be so few efficient secretaries among the hundreds of educated
Indians who are out of work.

I have begun to laugh (not giggle) rather a lot — that ought to be a
good thing but I am not sure that it is — I never know whether I laugh
because I am amused, or to hide some other feeling or just like that
for nothing. Some people remarked that I have become younger &
gayer — ^but I don’t know that I feel it. And that ‘laughing business’ I
do not like. However.

I do not know how I drifted on to this subject — or what I was
going to say. Oh yes, the exam — I thought — ^was pretty beastly and in
my opinion I did the papers much worse than last time. But the
examiners probably thought otherwise — fortunately for me — and they
have declared that they are satisfied with my work. In other words I

1 . Chnstiane Toller: wife of German poet and playwright Ernst Toller.

2. Aldous Leonard Huxley: English novelist and essayist who was a friend ofjawaharlal
Nehru.

• GROWIS'G L’r •

145

havT pns<;ed Responsions — all but Larin, the toughest subject. I did
not appear for it this time. I think I will do it in March, along wdth the
Entrance e.\Mm. Do you think it is wise to apply to another college —
other than Somerville, 1 mean — -just in case there is no vacancy' there?

With all all my love,
Indu

Badminton School,
Wcstbnq’-on- Tryin,
Bristol,

Sunday, 4tli October [1936]

Darling,

It is funny how living in a city by oneself, exploring the roads &
thoroughfares, one grows to love it. Such is my feeling for London. I
got to love the crowds, the parks & everything. Perhaps because it was
the first time I wtas entirely on my own. A tiny little room to sleep
in — the whole city to live in and no one to bother about you — to go
& come & do whatever you want to and just when & how' you want
to. Sometimes it was lonely but I liked it. If only one would not miss
some people so much.

All my love,
Indu

124

[Badminton School]
Bristol,
6th October, 1936

D-vling Papuli,

Your letter of the 24th* arrived this morning.

Yes, ever^'thing awakens old memories — snaps, stray letters, clothes,
ordinaty conversation. Somehow all thoughts drift back to the past. I
thought one forgot wdth time but I find it is otherwise. At first I had
not realised what had happened but with time — each day — that
realisation presses deeper into the heart. It almost pushes out all else.

1. Refers to letter ibtcd 24 September 1936 (No 121).

144

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Sometimes I do not know what to do. People say one gets used to
everything. Of course one does — even to torture & sorrow, but as
long as it continues, does it help to be used to it?

But why do you have to look at the luggage & other domestic
affairs when you have such a lot to do? Surely someone could manage
that — even Hari.

I should love to meet Mrs Huxley. What does she do — I mean
apart from managing the house? And before her marriage?

10th Octobei

I am thinking of becoming a member of the Left Book Club. Have
you heard of it? Its aim is to help in the terribly urgent struggle for
World Peace & a better social & economic order & against Fascism by
spreading knowledge. All a member has to do is to buy a book — the
book of the month — fix)m them every month. This book costs 2/6 in
their special edition, whereas to the general public it may be sold for
any price up to 12/6. They publish worthwhile books — selected by
Laski,^ Strachey^ & GoUancz.^

Tons of love,
Indu

125

Somewhere in Tamil Nad
(my geography is not strong enough to remember their odd names)

15th October, 1936

Darling Indu,

For some days I have been attempting to write to you — in vain. I am
carried along in a rush from early morning to midnight and it is not
easy to write after a twenty-hour stretch of speaking and motoring
alternately. The way the people have come to meet us everywhere
has been astounding.

Today I was at Madura and I made a point of going to the famous
temple there. It was a private visit. Hardly anyone was told of it. But,
lo and behold, a great crowd surrounded the temple and followed

1. Harold Joseph Laski: political scientist and Labour leader.

2. John Strachey: British Labour leader.

3. Victor Gollancz: left-wing author and publisher

• GROWING UP •

145

me into its vast corridors. A strange way to see a place, with a mass of
seething humanity! My ideas of the temple are consequendy vague.
But the vast size was impressive and sometimes oppressive. The
corridors were enormous, and huge statuary, some of which [was]
very good. I was taken to the inner sanctum, the holy of holies, the
shrine of Menakshi, an incarnation of Parvati. A great honour. I was
struck by the curious way of the Hindu faith which refuses to part
with any born within its fold. Here I am accused of irreligion and yet
treated as one who is a devout follower. A present of a silk scarf was
also given to me — a special gift of the goddess. I realised in this vast
temple with its innumerable corridors and inner chambers, faintly
lighted up, the great psychological influence of these rehgious edifices.
How they must impress and rather firighten the multitudes and increase
the power of the priesthood. That temple put me in mind of the days
when the priests were triumphant and ruled over the minds of men,
of the great temples of Egypt and Mesopotamia and, to some extent,
of the great cathedrals. There are not many people who can resist this
numbing efiect.

I have never seen so many roses in my life as here. Everywhere
there are enormous garlands of roses, fat, heavy things, each containing
a thousand to two thousand roses. In the coune of the day I might get
200 of such garlands! It seems such a pity to waste them, and what am
I to do with these quantities? The car gets filled up and then I distribute
them to girls and women and children by the roadside.

Love,
Your loving,

Papu

126

Badminton School,
Bristol,
21st October, 1036

Darluig Papu,

I woke up this morning with rather a wretched feeling — a strange
emptiness and a desperate loneliness. As the day goes on the feeling
grows. I attended a couple of lectures but don’t know what they were
about and it was impossible to read or do any work. To make matters
worse B.M.B. (the headmistress) said that I must not go to London

146

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

during the holidays but go to Cornwall. I agree that London is not a
healthy place but it is the only place where I have friends. When
one’s so dreadfully lonely is that not worth a tremendous lot?

Please write about this to me & also to B.M.B. She said she has
written to you. Personally I should like to be at least a week in London
& the rest of the hols on the Continent somewhere — we will probably
get a month’s vacation. I promise to take care of myself

With tons of love,
Indu

127

Anand Blmmi,
Allahabad,
29th October, 1936

Darling,

Lu [Louise Geissler] vvnrote to me that you have to put up with a large
correspondence and this troubles you a lot. Having myself to deal
with an enormous pile of them, I know how troublesome they are. I
have learnt by long practice how to deal with them. Some — the useless
ones — I destroy, many others I pass on to someone else to answer
with brief notes on the margin. Still a large number remain and I try
to deal with them personally. I do it rapidly enough. You cannot adopt
these dodges and you cannot have other’s help. So you had better
discourage most of the writers who are not worthwhile. Gladstone
used to say that most letters answer themselves after some time if you
simply leave them alone. I am not passing on this advice to you. Still
one must choose worthwhile persons to see and correspond with, or
else one is snowed under by the wrong sort of people.

Love,
Your loving,

Papu

• GROWING UP •

147

128

[Badminton School\
Bristol,

1st November [1936]

Papu darling

The weather is miserable.

The rain it raineth every day.

The unjust hath the just’s umbrella!

Is it not stupid? Some bishop sent it to the Times as a comment on
their article on umbrellas. But at the moment I feel its truth for my
umbrella is lying in the Lost Property Office! I cannot fetch it tiU
Monday.

I find it rather difficult to concentrate on my work these days. And
I have a great desire to read books other than textbooks.

Through the Left Book Club I get two of the latest books per
month. If you like I could send them to you. Of the Left Book Club
books — I have also World Politics 1918-1936 by Palme Dutt^ and
Under the Axe of Fascism by Prof. Salvemini. In a few days I will receive
John Strachey’s The Tlteory & Practice of Socialism & Horrabin’s An Atlas
of Current Affaiis.

In French we are doing some poems ofVictor Hugo. I think he’s
grand. We have just finished ‘L’ expiation’ — an extract from the bigger
poem, ‘Les Chatiments’! Have you read it, I wonder. It is about the
retreat from Moscow. Isn’t this beautiful?

Quel dieu, quel moissonneur de

I’eternal ete

avait, en s’en allant, negligemment jete

cette faucille d’or dans le champs

des itoiles^

1. Rajani Palme Dutt. Marxist leader.

2 Which God, which reaper
of eternal summers
had casually cast off
this Scythe of gold in
the firmament of stars

148

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

It is from another of his poems. This reminds me how very lovely
the sky is nowadays, except when it is hidden by the clouds. I see tlie
Big Bear very well from my bed and the old old habit — ^asleep for so
many years — of watching the stars has awakened. It makes me think
of the days when we used to look at them together & when you used
to point out each one to me & tell me its name. I remember how
thrilled I was as you thus solved part of the mystery of the heavens
and first awakened a new sort of interest for them in me.

Life here is mostly made of essays — of all descriptions but mainly
historical.

With lots of love,
Indu

129

November [^936\

Papu darhng,

I have just posted a letter’ to you. In it I quoted a Bishop — but not
being quite sure of the lines I left a blank & forgot to fill it up. The
thing is:

The rain it raineth every day,
upon the just & unjust fellow
But chiefly on the just, because
the unjust hath the justs umbrella.^

My love to Dol Amma and the rest of the family. Always your
loving,

Indu

1. Refers to letter dated 1 November 1936 (No. 128).

2. The actual vene is by Lord Bowen (1835-94).

The rain it raineth on the just

And also on the unjust fella;

But chiefly on the just because
The unjust steals the just’s umbrella.

• GROWING UP •

149

In train to Calcutta,
5th November, 1936

Darling,

Yesterday I was in Santiniketan and it was peaceful and quiet there. I
stayed at Sriniketan as Gurudev was living there and I had a long long
talk with him about many things. My affection for him grows. I found
him a little better than he was when I saw him last in Delhi in March,
soon after my return from Europe, He was more wide-awake, though
age steals over him. And yet he still thinks of travelling abroad and
visiting China next summer! But I doubt if he will be able to go.
Fortunately some big donations have relieved him of financial anxiety
for Santiniketan.

We talked of you and he told me what a good influence you had
been for others in Santiniketan. It is eight months since I saw you, my
dear, and I wonder how you are growing and changing. Perhaps in
another six months’ time we might meet again.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

I3I

[Badminton School]
Bristol,

7th November, 1936

Papu darling,

1 have your letter of the 29th.^ Thank you.

Meanwhile the rebels get nearer & nearer Madrid. Yesterday' was
the first attack on the town itself. What is going to happen? If they win
it wnll be a great help to the Croix de Feu in France & odier such
organisations in other countries. As it is. Fascism seems to be spreading
almost like flames, while the various Labour parties fold their arms &
vote for non-intervention.

Most school debates are on war, peace, the League of Nations &
such subjects. There [is] great talk of Christianity and God — these

1. Refers to letter dated 29 October 1936 (No. 127).

150

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

two arguments are shoved into every possible subject.

Thank you for the things you sent. Dr Kagu^ forgot to bring them
with him when he came last Sunday. He sent them by post & I received
them yesterday. The bags are beautiful & the sandalwood smells
wonderful and they both are so typically Indian. I felt almost at home
when I saw them.

With very much love,
Your loving,
Indu

Sunday, 8th November

The atmosphere at school is terribly anti-Fascist & very pacifist. B.M.B.
is a socialist & so are most of the other teachers — the liistory one has
great tendencies towards Communism. But on the whole, imperialism
seems to be inherent in the bones of the girls. They worship the King,
admire Baldwin^ & although Eden’s^ popularity is waning oflf, he is
stiU considered by some as the last word in cherubic innocence!

With very much love,
Indu

132

[Badminton School]
Bristol,

15th November, 1936

Papu darhng,

Thanks most awfiiUy much for the cheque. Do you mind if I keep it
tiU the hohdays and then buy something in London? For some time
I have wanted to buy a gramophone or a wireless. The latter, though
a Httle more expensive (anyway for the gramophone, records will be
necessary), seems more worthwhile. Going to piano recitals, etc., means
a lot of money and time. And music is a great help to work — indeed
sometimes it almost seems a necessity. A gorgeous small radio is
available for £,S. But you must not spoil me so. Am I not spoilt enough,

1 . Dr Kailash Nath Kagu; lawyer and nationalist leader who later held ministenal office
in the Government of India.

2. Stanley Baldwin: British Prime Minister, 1935—37.

3. Anthony Eden 0ater Lord Avon): Minister for League of Nations 1935, British
Forei^ Minister, 1935—38.

wherever I go? The more one gets, the more one seems to demand —
things that were once a luxury to be dreamt of, become a necessity
and so on.

It IS difficult to fit in with the usual English schoolgirl. I have had
quite a different life — an entirely different background. Everybody
seems to talk for the sake of talking. I hate chatting — unless I have
something to say.

Strangely enough, in spite of the ‘thick rich cream’ I seem to be
losing weight regularly. And have almost lost the 4 lbs I gained in
London during the last holidays.

I wonder if you have heard of a book called Tlie English: Are They
Human? I read it years ago in India. It amused me then but I did not
think much of it. Now when I came into closer contact with the
English, my mind goes back to that book. I am afraid a lot of the
admiration I had for the English has vanished — I mean for the people
as a whole. There are many many exceptions — which, as it were, go
to prove the general rule. On the other hand, some of the working
class — the unemployed are really decent & sympathetic. One meets
them often sitting on a roadside bench in the evening, with little
clothing in the cold unfriendly darkness. They welcome anything to
eat or to cover themselves with; for even the morning’s paper their
gratitude is infinite. I am afraid the numerous boxes of chocolate given
me by Raj Chachi & Psyche and others have helped to bring smiles
on several haggard faces.

I feel I have changed tremendously since you last saw me — I cannot
describe it to you and I do not know if you will notice it for it is not
expressed outwardly.

I was glad of my stay in Santimketan — chiefly because of Gurudev.
In the very atmosphere there, his spirit seemed to roam and hover
over one & follow one with a loving though deep watchfulness. And
this spirit, I feel, has greatly influenced my fife and thought.

With very much love,
Indu

152

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

133

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad^
19th November, 1936

Darling Indu,

I am back again here — for a day and a half only!

On arrival here I found a letter from you and the card -with your
picture and two books: [Peter] Fleming’s News from Tartary and Peers’s
The Spanish Tragedy. But why Fleming’s book should be a ‘Left’ book
I do not understand. Anyway both books are good and the kind I
like. I accepted them as birthday presents.

All my love,
Your loving,
Papu

Today is your birthday! We have celebrated it by having Khir.

134

[Badminton School]
Bristol,

21st November [1936\

Darlingest Papu,

I have been trying to analyse my loneliness. It is I think due to my not
having any real friend. I have got friends but none who really
understand me, none to whom 1 can speak what I feel — most people
think I am gone off my head slightly. There are people who understand
one side of me & others, who sympathise with other parts but no one
can realise what the whole is. However.

During the holidays, I am going to Switzerland with friends —
probably to Grindelwald in the Bernese Oberland. I have never been
in that part of Suisse before — it ought to be fun if there is enough
snow. I shall go for eighteen days, most probably & stay the rest of the
holidays in London. I promise to be good. The vacations are almost
here & will as soon be over. And then will come the exam — I am
dreading it — and then the visit to India, to which I am looking forward,
oh, so eagerly!

With very much love,
Indu

• GROWING UP •

153

23rd November

Mcghaduta^ has just arrived. What a beautiful gift. It is like you to think
of the right thing. You cannot imagine what joy it brought to me — the
sunshine and the warmth of India in this damp & dreary land.

Love,

Indu

135

[Badminton SchooI\
Bristol,

6th December [IP36]

Darling Papu,

The excitement over the constitutional crises has overshadowed foreign
affairs.There are pages about the King^ & the Cabinet & extracts from
other pages about the same subject — the war in Spain has receded
into the background. Personally, my sympathies are with the King.
Although I do agree with most of the newspapers which have long
articles about the duties of a king-emperor — only the News Chronicle
& the Star show any consideration for the man’s feelings. As it is, large
crowds gathered outside the Palace, shouting that they were with him.

Tons of love,
Indu

136

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
14th December, 1936

Darling,

You must be leaving school for the Christmas holidays. After a period
of hard work a holiday is pleasant and I hope you wiU enjoy it. And
through you I shall also have my share of joy. The present is rather a
heavy time for me. The Congress is coming and I am again to be its
President. The presidential address is the next job for me — a difficult
\

3. A well-known poem by the Sanskrit poet Kalidasa

2 British newspapers first printed stories about the relationship between Mrs Simpson
and King Edward VIII on 3 December 1936.The King abdicated on 1 0th December.

154

• TWO ALONH, TWO TOGF-THER •

one, for my mind is tired and stale. Ten days in the Himalayas would
freshen me but I could not possibly manage them.

So you have changed!^ Of course you have and you should at your
age. I find myself growing and changing even at my age. Strangers
may not notice such changes for they see the surface only, but when
there is an emotional bond between two persons even slight moods
become apparent. A gesture, a word, a way of looking or speaking
betrays the change. So you are not likely to pass unnoticed by me, or
rather the change in you. Only the dull and self-centred ones remain
more or less static. And we are not dull and too narrow, are we?

Edward Thompson, whose article you sent me, has paid us a rather
nice compliment. ‘You Nehrus,’ he writes to me, ‘have been very
lucky in many ways, and lucky most of all in your charming and
splendid women.’ He was thinking of Mummie perhaps, about whom
he had read in my book, and he had recently met Nan. He goes on to
say: ‘Your Letters to Indira are an altogether charming record. If she
will regard my wife and niyself as friends we shall feel honoured; and
she will find we are friends.’ They live at Oxford. So when you go
there you might meet them. They will help you to form your ideas
about the English as a race.

I was amused to read about your reactions to the English. They are
a curious people. I must say I like many of their qualities — most of aU
their restraint. It impresses one. It is an aristocratic quality. But when
the aristocrat becomes afraid of losing his special privileges he comes
down the scale immediately. And so the English people, fearful now
of losing their special position, are losing the good qualities they
possessed. Yet some remain. Unhappily we have always come into
touch with the wrong side of them. That was inevitable as our
relationship was all wrong.

I suppose the change of kings and aU that lay behind it has excited
people a lot in England.The human element in the drama was powerful
and when kings behave as simple humans, people are gripped by the
story. On the whole Edward came out rather well. Not as a very great
person, but at any rate as one who refused to behave as an automaton
and who could decide for himself in spite of all the pressure that was
brought to bear on him. I listened to his farewell speech on the wireless.

AU my love.
Your loving,
Papu

1. See letter dated 15 November 1936 (No. 132).

Section II

Indira Comes into Her Own

(1937-1939)

137

In train,
4th Janiiar)’, 1937

D.uling,

1 wrote to you before going to Faizpur, tvvo weeks ago, and there has
been this big gap since. The Congress is over now with all its huge
crowds and stress of work and you will read about it in the papers. We
did our work rapidly and in a businesslike way and ended sooner
than was expected. Indeed we had to, for the very success of this
village’ was more than we had bargained or arranged for. Nearly
200,000 persons are said to have poured into Faizpur and to feed
them itself was a terrible problem. In a big city there are shops and
large stocks of food but not so in a village. So I hurried through the
business and finished the Congress on the 28th night. The ne.xt day
there was a committee meeting and then I stole a day for Ajanta,
which sws not far. Quite a crowd went with us. I would much rather
have gone quietly with a few friends. But that was not to be and I can
seldom go anywhere now quietly.

How beautiful are the painted Bodhisattvas^ and the women of
Ajanta! After more than a thousand years of decay and covering over
with dirt, and scratching by man and beast, still they live on those
walls and fill one wth longing for this beauty of mind and body, so
far so unattainable. So they look today. What must they have been
long years ago when the paint was fresher and the legends they embody
vivid in people’s minds. And what of the unknown artists who created
them with all love and reverence. And what of that culture which
flourished in this old land of ours in the dim past, how rich its content
was, how splendid its imagining, how titanic its conception!

One looks at those lovely and graceful figures almost with pain.
They have a dreamlike quality, far removed from the vulgarity and
cheapness of the life we see. There is no haste about them, only a
slumberous ease and peace.

1 am sending you by ocean mail some pictures of Ajanta.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

! The annual session of the Congre.ss was generally held in some large town However,

^ in Oeccnibcr 1936 it was held for tlie first time in a village c.illed Faizpur.

One who is on the way to the attainment of perfect knowledge. Hence — ‘a future

nuddh.!.’

158

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

43, Belsize Park,
London N. W 3,
9th Januaiy, \931

Papu darling,

Well, here is 1937 and half the holiday is over. Wlien I got off the train
at Victoria I had not the vaguest idea where I was going to stay — ^1
hated bothering any friends such as Miss Harrison or Mrs Grant Duff
for I shall be in London quite a few days. I went into the nearest
phone box & rang up various likely places with no success. The only
thing to do was to leave my luggage somewhere & find a room. So I
tramped & tramped. It was a good idea coming to Swiss Cottage for
most of the houses in this locality have rooms to let. But no such luck,
every house was full. Just as I had given up hope, I decided to have
one more try. I knocked at No. 43, Belsize Park, and here I am in an
awfully nice room. There is not much view but it is very nicely
furnished and is cheerful and fairly big.

C.F.A.^ is in England and if he comes to London before I leave for
Bristol I shall see him. He will have first-hand news of you. I hear he
is not very well.

I am glad you liked Mummie’s picture done by the German artist.
I have not seen it, although it is a copy of a snap I have. There are so
very few good pictures of Mummie.

With very much love,
Indu

139

43, Belsize Park,
N.W.3,
18th January, 1937

Darling Papu,

I have your lovely letter of the 4th,“ written soon after the Faizpur
Congress.

There are so many things we must do together — but will they

1. C.F. A.: C.F. Andrews.

2. Refers to letter dated 4 January 1937 (No. 137).

• INDIIIA COMES INTO HER OWN •

159

ever come off? I have never been to Ajanta or Ellora. Three times I
prepared for the journey with the Vakils but luck was against us. Once
Kaka fell seriously ill, another time there was a severe storm & we
could not go because a big bridge broke down and the third time I
forget what happened.

I am looking forward very very much indeed to the summer
holidays, for with it will come India & you. Do you think there is any
chance of your going to jail?

My mind feels suddenly tired and anxious. I do not know if I shall
be able to pass & be admitted to college. What will happen if I don’t?
Will it mean another year of just this or what shall I do?

With very much love,
Indu

140

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
7th February, 1937

Darling,

I fell asleep as I was writing to you m the train. Suddenly I was woken
up at Barabanki and dragged out of the train. There were meetings by
the roadside on the way to Lucknow. From Lucknow 1 went north to
Bareilly, etc., and then came back here. Today I am off^ to Maharashtra.
On the 1 8th I take a plane to Cannanore m Malabar. And so on and
on till the 20th when I hope to have a brief respite in Anand Bhawan.

On arrival here I received your two letters. I suppose there is no
doubt about your success in the Somerville exam. Don’t worry. But
suppose you do not succeed — what then? It seems rather absurd for
you to spend another year in preparing for it. That would be precious
time wasted It may be desirable for us to change your plans
completely and leave out Oxford and revert to the Continent — Paris.
But there is no point in our thinking of this now.

You had better come here as soon as you can ... I am inchned to
think that an air journey by K.L.M. is indicated. This is very expensive
It IS taie but it has its advantages. I should like to have you here as
long as possible and Dol Amma’s health is so precarious that I want
you here soon. Perhaps you have heard that she has had another attack
of paralysis. This was a mild one and she is slowly recovering but still

160

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

she is very weak and I am afraid she has not a long span of life in fiont
of her. She is very keen on seeing you. Naturally. So I think you had
better come by air early in April.

Unfortunately John Lane has bust up and so my royalties have
gone in the air.

Remember, it will be hot after you leave Europe and it will be
very hot over Western Asia. Keep a pair of sunglasses. Better travel in
European dress. You can take to the sari at Karachi!

All my love,
Your loving,
Papu

I4I

Badminton School,
Bristol,
8th Febinary, 1937

Darlingest Papu,

I should love to go by air and it does save time. But it’s awfully expensive.
As it is, I hate asking for money beyond the ;^50 every other month.

I have been following the elections in the Times — it is surprising
how much more news of India appears in the Times than in the
Manchester Guardian. These days, there is sometliing about the elecrion
or the Congress every morning in the Times and in spite of the
propaganda one can get at what’s happening out there.

I was avsTuUy excited over the victories in Sind & Bihar. I do hope
we get a majority everywhere.^

I am looking forward so very very much — it is quite impossible to
express in words, just how much — to seeing you. But I do hope I

1. Indian Elections: Although the Congress rejected the new Constitution imposed
upon India by the Government of India Act of 1935, it later decided to participate in
the provincial elections held under tliis Constitution Tlie Congress emerged victorious
m Bombay, Madras, the United Provinces, the Central Provinces, Orissa, Assam,
Bihar, Sind and the North-West Frontier Province.The election results demonstrated
the hold of the Congress over the people. The Party then proceeded to form
Governments in these provinces. In two provinces — ^Bengal and Punjab — the
Congress failed to secure absolute majorities; non-Congress coalition governments
were formed there.

. INDIRA COMCS INTO HER OWN •

I6l

shall be able to be with you & that you will [not] have to go rushing
all over the place all the time . . .

With all my love.
Ever your loving,
Indu

142

BadniiiKoit School,
Bristol,

13 th Fcbmaiy, 1937

Darling Papu,

There is not much news to give, I am going on with my work, feeling
more & more disgusted with Latin and the English climate!

A Spanish lady — Dr Komas — lecturer in Biology at the University
of Barcelona, has come to England, I don’t quite know why. She
came to Bristol and stayed with Miss Baker. 1 think she spoke at the
University here. We also had a small meeting, some of the staff, the VI
form, some of the other older girls in the school and a few outsiders.
Dr Komas said little about the war itself, apart from briefly sketching
Its backgi-ound. She spoke of what interested her most: children and
education. She told us of the groups of people who were trying to
shield the children of Spain from the horrors of war, to give them as
calm an education and as healthy a life as possible in the circumstances.
Big colonies have been founded in Barcelona and Valencia for children
and here the littlest ones are sent by tram from Madrid and the
surrounding villages in the hands of the government. In these colonies
there are schools; the children are clothed and fed. Many of them
wear new clothes for the first time in their lives. The Barcelona
booksellers told Dr Komas that they had never before sold so many
children’s books. Food is scarce but the grown-ups manage with
biscuits and anything else that they can get whilst all the milk and
bread available is sent to the colonies for the children. The mam
difficulty so far is the transport of the children, for the trains are very
slow & the journey is made much longer by the necessity of having
to avoid the fighting fronts. One would hardly expect Madrid to rejoice
during Christmas or New Year, but the government said that the
children should not be disappointed. A ‘children’s week’ was organised:
everybody gave voluntary help and during that week the children

I62 • TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

had their cinema shows and games. Every child received a toy — many
for the first time. ‘We tried to make them happy,’ said Dr Komas, ‘and
their smiling faces gave us renewed courage and strength; they made
us happy and we were glad that all that was possible was being done
for their safety and welfare.’ But this was only m the daytime. At night
they woke up at the sound of bombs — the little ones cried and the
older ones remembered the terrible scenes of war.

Dr Komas, I found, was very charming. She spoke quietly but
without any sign of emotion. Her English was very broken but it was
surprising how well she chose her words.

Meanwhile the non-intervention committee is deciding whether
‘other European countries’ should intervene in the war!

I wonder if you have ever been to Hyde Park on a Sunday — it’s
priceless. The other day, when I was in London, I was passing through
& overheard the following: ‘And why do we want a foreign policy
and foreign relations? Aren’t the ones at home good enough?’

With very very much love,

Indu

143

A mud Bbawcin,
Allahabad,
22nd February, 1937

Darling,

For a change I have actually been in one place for four days and I
have not held forth at a public meeting during all this long period!
This is a change for me, for previously for months I have been
addressing a dozen or more big meetings daily.

And now about your plans. I understand that you will finish with
your exam on 22nd March — ^a month today. I should like you to stay
in India as long as you can conveniently do so without interfering
with your work. There is a very very faint possibility of my going to
Europe in autumn, perhaps September. If this comes off, I should
like to accompany you back. But my going is very doubtful.

I expect you to start for India as soon as you can easily manage it
probably at the beginning of April. Don’t arrive here on the 1st of
April! It is going to be a big hartal day for us — an anti-Constitution
demonstration. But you can come as soon after that as possible. I have

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

163

made no programme for April and after. I want to wait for your arrival.
There is of course the Burma trip to be undertaken some time.

After your arrival here you will of course stay for some time in
Anand Bhawan with Dol Amma. Chand, Tara and Rita will not be
here. They will be at Woodstock.^ They have a fortnight off during
the summer and the idea is that they and you & I might spend this at
Khali

Before you return, see Agatha and Krishna Menon. They might
want to send something to me.

Bring two or three small soft leather purses with you — the kind
with the zip attachment, which are meant for loose silver. They used
to cost a mark or so in Germany.

This will reach you on the eve of your exam. Good luck to you.
Do not worry or work too hard. Keep fresh. That is the best way to
face an exam — another few hours’ work will not make much difference
but tiredness and freshness do make a tremendous difference.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

144

[Badminton School]
Bristol,

23rd February, 1937

Darhng Papu,

Krishna Menon phoned to me on Saturday night asking me if I could
go up to London on Friday, 5th March & in connection with some
entertainment or other, in which I would have to make an appeal for
Spain. Just before the call, I had been reading the Times’s account of
Madrid and the description of the town, the queues of hungry
people — shops which did not want to seem empty & so had decorated
their windows with multi-coloured boxes and tins, and had a little
printed notice on one side saying that these boxes contain nothing
but sawdust! (This is not entirely true, says the Times correspondent.

1 A co-educational school at Mussoone, founded by missionaries from the United
States

2. An estate in Binsar, near Almora, bought by R.anjit Pandit.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

164

they had plenty of toothpicks!) It was all so vivid in my mind that I
said I would if I could. I have asked Miss Baker and she has given me
permission to go up to London for the weekend just after my exam.

With lots of love,
Indu

145

Anand Bhaum,
Allahabad,
2 5 til February, 1937

Indu darling,

Your letter of 13th February^ (in pencil) came two days ago. I liked
your account of Dr Komas’s lecture on Spain so much that I have sent
it to the press!

Two or three days ago I sent you a cheque for :jC,S0. Previously 1
sent ^20 and soon (early in March) you will receive ^50 from
Bachhraj.^ I imagine this will meet your journey and other expenses.
However I enclose another cheque for ;^10. It is possible of course
that my calculations are wrong and you may want more. If so, send
me a brief cable mentioning the amount. Or in case of emergency I
suppose you could ask Agatha or Krishna Menon for a few pounds
which I could immediately send them.

I am just off to Wardha.

My love,
Your loving,
Papu

146

Badminton School,
Bristol,
5th March, 1937

Darling Papu,

As I wrote to you in my last letter, Menon has persuaded me to speak

1. Refers to letter dated 13 February 1937 (No. 142).

2. Bachhraj & Co, banking firm owned byjamnalal Bajaj, businessman and nationalist
leader.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

165

at an ‘Indian Evening’ arranged by Mrs Saklatvala^ and the India-
Spain League. I thought it was going to be a tiny affair but alas! I was
sadly mistaken. Strachey is also speaking & the public will consist of
people like the London School of Economics students! However,
one must make the best of a bad job. I propose busying myself for at
least two days in pamphlets and books on Spain. But I think I shall
speak on the lines of Dr Komas’s lecture, for that is a side of the
question that interests me. Besides it has been given little publicity,
whilst hundreds of pamphlets and books and lectures have dealt with
the various political aspects and the effect of the war on the outside
world. There will also be dancing — Indian — and other such
entertainment at the ‘evening’. It is on Friday, the 12th.

1 shall go to London on Thursday, the 11th, & return to Bristol on
the 13th. Then I have to wait here & see if Somerville wants me. If it
does, I shall have to go up to Oxford, if not I shall go to London at the
end of the week — that is on the 21st.

All my love to you — An rcuoir, A hientot}

Indu

147

[Badminton School]
Bristol,
14th March, 1937

Papu darling,

I went to London for the weekend. It was nice to get away fixim the
monotonous routine of school and to meet new and interesting people.
I arrived at Paddington on Thursday morning and from then till
Saturday evening when I got into the train for Bristol at Paddington it
was one tremendous rush. I have come to tlie conclusion that weekends
in London are not desirable — specially when people know that I am
coming there. Anyhow it was all in a good cause. We collected nearly
on the platform at the ‘Indian Evening’ for Spain. And we must
have got over /j20 from the seats — even though admission was free.
Another good outcome of the meeting was that I met John Strachey.

!• Scliri S-iklaw.-ila-wife ofShapuiji Saklatvala.a radical leader of the Indian community
in Groat Britain.

2 See you soon

I66

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

He only said a few words to me but I like him awfully.

I have definitely booked my seat on the plane leaving Amsterdam
on the 31st morning. This means leaving London on the 30th.

I shall be in India early on the 4th April.

I do hope you won’t get arrested on 1st April! People here seem
to think there is a possibility.

With very much love & kisses,

Indu

16th March

Have just heard from Oxford. I have to go up tomorrow for an
interview!

148

Badminton School,
Bristol,

20fh March [1931]

Papu darling,

In my last letter^ I told you that I had been sent for, for an interview.
I was rather terrified but it was not half as bad as I had expected. I had
three interviews — one with the Principal and the other two with my
future dons. They asked very general questions — I was told that my
history papers were very interesting and my style of writing was so
nice that it was a pleasure to read whatever I wrote! I got very good
marks for French and my Latin was abominable!! I was asked if I
would be able to work at it between now and October, if I came to
College in October! Of course I said that I would try to!

I shall know the final result on Wednesday.

Since I spoke at the Spain-India meeting I received an invitation
from Edinburgh to go there during the Easter vac. and speak to the
Indians. This person writes that he has made several attempts at getting
help for Spain but many of the Indians say ‘why shouldn’t the money
go to India?’ Hence he has not been frightfully successful. Of course
I am unable to go.

Then Fenner Brockway" asked me to write an article for the New

1. Refers to letter dated 14 March 1937 (No. 147).

2. Archibald Fenner Brockway: leading member of the Independent Labour Party who
took a sympathetic interest in the national movement in India.

167

• INDIRA COm'eS into HER OWN •

Leader on what is going to happen in India on April 1st and why.^ At
that time I had exams going on, so I could not. Besides I am not very
sure if 1 could write such an article.

I have been following your activities with interest — ^but I do not
like writing to you about such affairs for I think you have an overdose
as it is.

With heaps of love,
Indu

149

Wardha,
2nd July, 1937

Darling Indu,

I felt rather sorry at not having you here. I should have liked you to
see the village work & Bapu s surroundings here. But this time when
we had to return from Bapu it was raining hard and it was not possible
for a car to go to the village. So we came back m a tiny bullock-cart —
Maulana Abul Kalam Azad^ and I wedged in and being bumped and
shaken for over an hour, I decided then that you were well out of it.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

150

P & O Steam Navigation Co.,
SS Viceroy of India,
18tli September, 1937

Darling Papu,

We are nearing Suez — will probably reach it at four a.m. tomorrow.

I spend over two hours every day in the swimming bath. It is the
most marvellous bath I have ever seen on a ship — ^Pompeiian, they
call it. I wish the colours were more subdued — glaring red piUars &
light green tiles that don’t like the red! And in the water me in a
bright orange bathing suit!

See letter dited 22 February 1937 (No. 143).
— A leader of the struggle for freedom m India.

168

• TWO AION'i;. TWO TOGf.Tm;K •

The rest of the time goes in doing work for Somerville & walking.
In the evenings there i.s always something on. Yesterday there was the
cinema &c the night before a race meeting. I won ten shillings and
sixpence! Not bad for a first go, was it?

Lots of love & kisses,
Indu

2ht September

A most awful man has come on board at Port Said. And as luck would
have it — he sits next to me at table! Almost the first thing he said to
me was that Gurudev — Tagore — had died on the 16th.' 1 read the
wireless news every morning but had not noticed anything except
that he was seriously ill. I looked through all the piles but could find
nothing & nobody on board could help me. I am feeling so upset —
it is awful to be in such uncertainty. And I do hope that the news is a
false alarm.

We have only three more days to reach Marseilles.

Lots of love,
Indu

151

P & O Steam Navigation Co.,
SS Viceroy of India,
23rd September, 1937

Darlingest Papu,

Yesterday was the most marvellous day we have ever had on such a
voyage. First — a litde before lunch — ^we saw a submarine emerge out
of the waters & come towards us very suspiciously. When it discovered
who we were it turned back — rather contemptuously! We saluted it
by dipping our flag & it returned the salute. It was an Italian one. (It
was only that very morning that we had learnt that Italy too had agreed
to the Nyon Pact.)^ This was probably one of the first patrols. Already
we were nearing the shores of Sicily — soon Italy too appeared. We
had a most gorgeous view of the two coasts for we passed through the

1. Rabindranath Tagore actually died on 7 August 1941.

2. Nyon Pact: treaty signed by Great Britain and France at Nyon, Switzerland, m 1937
to extend protection to the Spanish Navy.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

169

Straits of Messina. Do you remember how enthusiastic I was about
Taormina when I was there with the Ecole Nouvelle in Easter 1936?
I had no idea I would see it again so soon — so when Sir C.V.^ showed
it me through his binoculars I got so excited! I jumped up on the
railings until somebody behind said, ‘Hey now Miss be careful!’
Unfortunately it was cloudy & it was not possible to see Stromboli.

At about five p.m. we passed the volcano Stromboli. It was absolutely
grand At first we saw just the steam coming out but as we came closer,
there was a grand explosion — a column of fire and then quiet.
Magnificent isn’t the word for it. Sir C.V. was wildly excited & so was
I, so much so that the whole ship stared at us instead of at the Stromboli.

During this voyage I have seen innumerable ‘optical illusions’ —
because Sir C.V. is always there to point them out. As we were entering
the St. of Messina, this is what it looked like.

NOTE: See sketch shown on page 170.

Tons of love & kisses,
Indu

P.S.

Two days ago something happened to break the monotony of the
ship life. The P & O Co. booked two berths for four passengers — or
so they say. Two of them — Indian students — occupied the berths in
Bombay. In Aden they were told that they would have to move to a
four-berthed cabin. They refused & the purser said it was aU right.
The students wanted to go to Cairo so they disembarked in Suez.
When they came on board again at Port Said they found that their
had been moved. They complained to the purser who said
that he was very sorry but that now what had been done could not be
undone — sort of thing. The real reason for doing this was that the two
passengers who now occupy the two-berthed cabin are Europeans —
and how could they be put in a four-berthed cabin with an Indian.
Of course nobody will ever admit this. The treatment given to Indian
students, particularly those travelling second, is appalling. This is not
the first time such an incident has taken place — nor will it be the last.
But on this particular ship when there are people such as Mohan

1 C V. Raman' Indian physicist who was awarded the Nobel Prize in 1930.

170

• TWO AI.ONF. TWO TOGlmiTR •

P&O.S.N.Co.

S.S.

\ • IV

-vJU9^

S. Jt_l» • V- r'C.-^ ^

^ ^ T|.

Kumaramangalam^ 8c myself on board, we cannot take it lying down.
First we decided to demand an explanation from the Commander

1 . Surendra Mohan Kumaramangalam: contemporary of Indira Gandln in Great Britain,
prominent in student politics. He was later a leading member of the Indian
Government.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

171

but now we are writing to the P & O board of directors & are issuing
a press statement, the whole idea being to get Lloyd Triestino & other
bnes to give concession rates to Indian students. I think we will succeed
to some extent at least. What a blow it would be to the P & O if they
lost the student passengers. We must show them that they cannot treat
us anyhow just because we are going half price! We are not introducing
any racial element m the statements and I am glad to say that more
students are also taking an interest!

This letter seems to go on & on. And reading it over I find it is
most boring. But it just means so much time spent with you. And that
is so precious to me. But you know & I know that wherever I am,
whatever I am doing, a corner of my mind is thinking of you —
accompanying you on your journeys & watching you at home. I do
miss you so much, darhng — and I do so love you — much more than I
ever did before.

Please do take care of yourself and come to Europe in the summer.
I shall be looking forward to it.

All my love,
Indu

152

Lucknow,
23rd Septembef, 1937

My darling one.

You must be in France now — how far you are from me! I am afraid I
shall not come soon to you, for I am tied up by the strong ropes of
circumstance and responsibility. They are of my own seeking and
hence aU the more difficult to get rid of. I should love to go over to
see you and perhaps I may do so next year. But I think it is as well that
we meet infrequently, for you should grow up unhampered by my
presence and ideas. Each one of us has to find anchorage and to lean
on others is not helpful. For over five months we were together — a
long enough time — and no doubt we influenced each other as we
were bound to do. And yet, is it not curious that during all these
months we hardly had a proper conversation, apart from our brief
talks about our day-to-day activities. I felt the gulf between two
generations and I could not bridge it. No doubt you must have felt
this way also.

172

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

I am very glad you were with me during these months, for personal
reasons of course, but also because they enabled you to have some
glimpses of present-day India and of the kind of life I lead. I am tired
of this life but I must carry on till February next when the Congress
meets at Haripura. Not much rehef will come even then for the burden
of responsibility will continue but still I shall feel free. Already people
are beginning to talk of my continuing as President for another year —
an absurd proposition to which I cannot agree. But somehow I have
come to occupy a curious position in Indian politics and people are
afraid that another person as President may not be able to hold the
balance between various forces and tendencies as I have done. But I
am quite sure that I must not continue.

Nani^ is here and I met her today.

Also don’t forget to visit Edward Thompson & his wife at Oxford
(Boar’s Hill). He has written to me so many times about this and if
you do not see him he will not forgive me.

The lions in the zoo roar away here and I listen to them at night.

All my love,
Your loving,
Papu

153

Anand Bhawaii,
Allahabad,
30th September, 1937

Darling Indu,

I have been living here in Anand Bhawan, a solitary individual, feeding
by myself, working alone except when I am in [the] office. I sit here
in my room and the door connecting it with your room is usually
open. And at night, and sometimes in the daytime too, I go to your
room and have a look round and say goodnight to it. Your presence
seems to hover round the room and I have not liked the idea of
disturbing anything in it. Various oddments lie about, as you left them,
and one has a feeling that the room has been recently occupied.

Apart from my usual work, I have foolishly agreed to write articles
for various foreign periodicals. This is weighing on me. I like to write

t. Rajpati Kaul: mother ofKamala Nchni.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

173

and I want to write — all manner of ideas and words and phrases float
in my mind. But it is difficult to do so in odd moments when one is
tired out However I shall have to keep my promise. Early in November
1 am keen on going to Assam where I have never been.Tliese Frontier
Provinces attract me. The Kashmiri blood, I suppose, has a border
tinge.

And so we carry on, and meanwhile you explore Oxford and
gradually fall into the life there, and the Japanese bomb and kill the
Chinese.’

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

I am getting any number of letters protesting against my sending
my daughter to a foreign country, especially England, for her education.
This is supposed to be an offence against narionalism.

154

Somewillc College,
Oxford,
10th October, 1937

Darlingest Papu

So 1 am in College at last! I came up on the 7th from London, feeling
terribly nervous and agitated. I do not know why it is that the litde
things upset me so much more than the bigger ones. Well, I arrived
here at about two on Thursday with piles of luggage and everything
was so strange, so new and so terrifying. There were innumerable
interviews & the seemingly endless dark corridors of Somerville did
much to augment the existing confusion. The next two days were
pretty' frill; more intersdews and lectures on the tradition of Somerville
and rules and regulations. Then there was the unpacking and the
try’ing to get an air of comfort and beauty into my litde room. I am
afraid I am not very thrilled by the aesthetic sense of die English. The
rooms — except a few in the newest part of the building — are terribly
uncomfortable and ugly;

t. The Sino-J.iji.inese War of 1937-45 started as a skirmish between Japanese and
Chinese troops on the outskirts ofPeking.but within three weeks had developed into
all-out Japanese olTensive.

174

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Fortunately for me, I had met quite a number of ‘Freshers’ when
we all came up for our viva last March. That made the first few days
here considerably more bearable. I have made fi-iends wdth a charming
Arab girl. She has lived mostly in England, having left Syria when she
was about eight, but her features are unmistakable. Then there is a
lovely Parsi girl who looks & is completely English. I have friends in
other women’s colleges too. I have also become the secretary of the
Indian Majlis & a member of the executive of the China-India
Committee. It is so difficult to collect funds these days. I have persuaded
Uday Shankar — ^who is in London — to give a performance for China.
It is to be on the 31st Oct.

I have not yet become a master of the art of lighting a fire which is
a nuisance for there is no central heating and it is awfully cold
sometimes, especially at night.

This term is going to be very very busy, we are told & already we
have been given work for next week. In December we have our Pass
Mods exam.

On Tuesday is the Matriculation ceremony, when we shall have to
march in crocodile fasliion down the chief street of Oxford in our
caps & gowns. I rather like the cap but the gown is idiotic.

Lots of love,
Indu

155

Somemlle College,
Oxford,
14tli October, 1937

Darlingest Papu,

I do so wish you would shut yourself up in a tiny cottage up on a
hiUtop 8c not [write] any arricles or give press interviews — just for a
week or so. I am sure your work would not suffer, for you would be
so much fi-esher to do it.

I am quite settled down now and feel that I have lived in Somerville
all nay life. My little room is looking considerably cosier and nicer
and by the end of the term I hope it will improve tremendously. At
the moment I am terribly in need of a good armchair — a really
comfortable one. I have two chairs in my room: one is for the writing
table, the other is a rocking chair which, besides being terribly ugly

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

175

and uncomfortable, falls backwards when you sit on it!

Life here is terribly fiill. They work us like slaves. Then there are
tea parties 8c coffee parties and all kinds of meetings and concerts &
what nots. I think I shall enjoy it very much — somehow just before I
came I had my doubts about that!

I went to a meeting on China last evening. One of the speakers
was Prof Chang Feng-Chun of Nanhai University. He was awfully
good: very dignified & restrained. Gilbert Murray^ also said a few
words.

Menon is coming up to speak at one of the Labour Club meetings
on the 29th.

With lots & lots of love & great hopes of your taking a good rest,

Indu

156

Somerville College,
Oxford,
17th October, 1937

DarUng Papu,

I have had a lovely day today. I worked solidly from nine thirty to
one. After lunch I went out for a long walk in the fields — got back
home by three thirty. Went to tea with H.A.L. Fisher.^ He is awfully
nice and his wife is perfectly charming — I wonder if you have met
her. I had a marvellous time. Then I had dinner with Mrs Rhys-
Davis^ & the MaJHs executive — afterwards was the MaJHs meeting at
which Mrs Rhys-Davis spoke. By the way, I do not remember whether
in my last letter I told you that I have become the Women’s Secretary
of the Majlis. Fortunately I have to do nothing at all — the proper
Secretary does all the work.

I am having rather a terrible time trying to sell tickets for the
Uday Shankar performance. Undergrads can’t run down to London
for the night whenever they feel like it — and the tickets I have are
quite expensive.

1 Gilbert Murray: British classical scholar.

2 H.A L Fisher' British historian and politician.

3 Caroline Augusta Foley Rhys-Davis: Buddhist scholar and wife of the orientahst,
Thomas William Rhys-Davis

176

• TWO ALONE, TAVO TOGETHER •

I love Oxford. The so-called ‘relaxing’ atmosphere has so far had
no effect on me — probably because I have much too much to do all
the time.

I am feeling so worried about you. Must you keep rushing about
all the time?

Lots & lots of love,
Indu

157

Anand Bhaimi,
Allahabad,
20th October, 1937

Darling,

Your first letter^ from England has come, full of the excitement of
going to College. I am afraid my memory of the day when I first went
to Cambridge as a Fresher has rather faded, but still I remember
something of the excitement and self-importance that accompanied
it. But the novelty fades soon enough and we fall into the old rut.

My visit to the Frontier was most interesting and even exhilarating.
The pleasant and crisp climate contributed to this, but it was the
psychological background that appealed to me. I liked the Frontier
people — simple, childlike, brave and rather primitive. It was heartening
to see their enthusiasm for the Congress and Indian freedom, and
their discipline was astonishing. I spent only three days over there —
three full days. One day in Peshawar, the second in Utmanzai, where
Khan Abdul Ghaffar PChan has his home, and the third was largely
taken up by a visit to the IChyber Pass. I loved standing on a hillock
overlooking the pass, with Afghanistan stretching on one side beyond
the pass, and on the other the wide plains of Flindustan. Facing me
on a hilltop stood the remains of an ancient fortress built by Asoka."
And aU around were dotted pickets and fortifications built by the
British. The whole pageant of Indian history seemed to pass before
my eyes, conquerors and invaders, pilgrims and traders and students;

1. Refers to letter dated 10 October 1937 (No. 154).

2 Asoka: one of the greatest emperors of India, he lived in the third century B.C. and
consolidated the subcontinent of India into a single polity. He was inspired by
Buddhism and is specially known for his renunciation of war.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

177

how many caravans had passed through that narrow defile into the
plains of Hindustan right through the ages! What a wonderful gateway
to India it was, how easy to defend against almost a world in arms.
Surely there is no other country whose land frontier is so secure and
difBcult of passage. The Himalayas make it impassable except for two
or three difficult passes and the most frequented was the Khyber. And
even this could be made a terror to the hostile intruder. Yet invading
armies have passed through it again and again. But that was not nature’s
fault. We suffered for our own weakness.

An Afridi would pass us on the road, a rifle strung loosely from
the shoulder. He would give the Pushto greeting which means: may
you never be tired — a beautiful wish, whether you apply it to the
journey through the mountains or to the far more difficult journey
through life. The answer was; may good fortune attend you.

Villagers gave us gram cliana and gur, also an enormous loaf of
bread which was good enough for half a dozen persons. It was excellent
bread, rather like shirmal} I was told that this was a small loaf and the
big ones were a yard in diameter and two to three inches thick.

We skirted the Frontier for many rmles and I was sorely tempted
to cross over into the tribal territory. But this might have brought
political complications and I wanted to avoid these. We saw the tribal
villages, all surrounded by high mud walls and turrets with gun holes.
They were like little fortresses.

I am going tomorrow to Bijnor for an important election — a
Muslim by-election. The Muslim League^ has been misbehaving and
acting generally in a hysterical manner. It is a nuisance. If we win this
election as we hope to, it will be an effective damper for these
communalists.

On my return from Bijnor I go off immediately to Calcutta for
the A.I.C.C. meetings. These will last a week. Then beautiful Assam
and the Surma Valley — another frontier of India, the north-eastern.
So I shall be on the move till the imddle of November — my letters to
you will be irregular.

I have brought back from Peshawar two lovely pairs of chappals
[sandals]. They are strong and comfortable and quite smart looking.

1 . Sweet bread prepared on festive occasions.

2 Muslim League: pobtical party which, under the leadership of Mohamed Ahjinnah,
believed that the Mushms of India constituted a distinct nation. This led to the
partition of India in 1947. >

178

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

No one dare criticise my footwear now!

Feroze has sent me a cable asking for a message for Uday Shankar’s
performance. I am sending something for him by airmail.

Bibi Amma has been unwell.

Love,

Papu

158

Somerville College,
Oxford,
21 St October, 1937

Papu darling,

I had a lovely time in Pans and Mme Morin introduced me to some
very nice girls. I was five days in Paris & most of them were spent in
the Exhibition. The only part I really enjoyed was the various art
exliibitions and something which will make you very envious — The
Palace of Discovery. It was absolutely marvellous. They have every
scientific discovery & invention ever made & there are five guides
who explain whatsoever you ask them. The first time I went to the P.
of D. I was terribly impressed & interested but I am afraid there were
so very many things that I did not understand. So in the afternoon I
went again — this time having persuaded Sir C.V. Raman to come
with us. And he made all the difference.

I have fallen completely in love with Oxford. It was so difficult to
take work seriously after years of not doing anything like this — ^but I
am settling down now & find it easier to spend a whole morning
solidly working.

My tutors & the other dons who have anything to do with me are
awfully nice. The Latin one, I hear, is an iceberg. But thank goodness
I don’t go to her. I do Latin separately with a Mr Luce, who used to
teach at Eton. He is as ancient as the Sphinx and terribly deaf. But
explains things quite well, in spite of his false teeth. I go to him once
a week. Somebody said the other day that Miss Darbyshire^ looked
like a tea-cosy. I think the description suits her perfectly.

My love to Dol Amma & the rest of the family.

1 . Helen Darbyshire: principal of Somerville College.

All my love,
Indu

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

179

159

Somerville College,
Oxford,
29th Octobei [1937]

Darling Papu,

I am so very glad that you went to the Frontier and were able to
snatch a few hours out of your crowded programme to go to the
Khyber Pass. Your letter took me across the land and sea and the
many miles that lie between us . . .

The Uday Shankar performance is tomorrow night. I have got
late leave & am going down to London.

The library here is very inadequate. There are so very many of us
wanting the same books. I was just wondering that if we have got
Stubbs’s^ CoustitKtioftal History at home, could you have it sent? I
couldn’t find a second-hand one and the new ones are terribly
expensive.

Good luck in the election and in all you do — and as the Affidis
say. May you never get tired.

All my love,
Indu

I60

Somerville College,
Oxford,

8th November [1937]

Darling Papu,

I am getting on fine. But I am afraid I am acquiring some of your bad
habits. Yesterday I had a terribly full day. I had to go out in the
morning — then at two there was a Labour study group. At three fifteen
Basil Mathews^ and his wife came & took me to their house on Boar’s
Hill for tea. I got back at six forty-five — at seven I was having supper
with ‘The Darb’, [Miss Darbyshire] and at eight thirty I had to go to a
Majlis meeting — for Krishna Menon was speaking. After that I had
coffee with Krishna and got home at eleven fifteen p.m. — -just in time

1 William Stubbs- British constitutional historian.

2 Basil Mathews, scholar in the field of missionary movements.

l8o

• TWO ALONfc, TWO TOGI.THnR •

not to be locked out! My essay on the Evolution of Parliament had to
be read at a class at ten a.ni. this morning and until eleven fifteen last
evening I had not even read about it! Well, I read until twelve forty-
five and then wrote until three fifteen a.m. It was a job getting up this
morning — I missed signing the register, as well as my breakfast, for I
was ready only just in time for a lecture at ten a.m.! However I got
Very Good for the essay! I .spent a delightful afternoon with Basil
Mathews but did not like his wife much.

Oh, and did I tell you — I went up to town last Thursday & lunched
with Julian Huxley' & his wife — they are both absolutely charming.
She is Swiss.

Meanwhile P. Mods is rearing its ugly head in the not so distant
future. I do hope I get through — otherwise it will be such a nuisance.

Love,

Indu

I6I

Anand Bhaum,
Allahabad,
10th November, 1937

My darling,

I rejoice in your letters which tell me of your life full of activity and
work and joy. Your written word brings innumerable pictures to my
mind, a crowd of memories and visions of days gone by, and the
sense of emptiness in this silent deserted house goes from me. For
otherwise it is

a lone house filled
with the cricket’s call;
and the scampering mouse
in the hollow wall.

I am afraid I cannot find Stubbs’s Constitutional History. Anyway an
old edition is not much good. You had better buy a new copy, in spite
of its exorbitant price, and not rely too much on the Somerville library.
It is better to own textbooks so that you can mark them and use them

1. Julian Huxley; British biologist, brother of the noveUst Aldous Huxley.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

18I

when you like. I am sending you another book which is pretty well
known. This is Taswell-Langmead s’ Constitutional History.

Last week I sent you one of Tagore’s latest pictures, or rather a
reproduction of it. This is somewhat remarkable in its own way. When
he was recovering from his severe illness, one day he suddenly got up
and started painting. He was hardly supposed to be fully conscious at
that time. This was the picture he dashed off and it seems to be
symbohcal of his return to light from the shadows. You see the light
breaking through the dark forest of trees. On the back of the picture
I have put the date — 15th Sept, 1937.

Have you ever eaten persimmons? Have you even heard of them?
This is a delightful fruit — a cross between a tomato and an apricot.
Some kind-hearted individual whom I don’t know has been sending
me parcels of it from the Kulu Valley.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

162

Someiuilk College,
Oxford,

14th November [1937]

Darhng Papu,

It IS your birthday today and I do not know where you ivill be rushing
about Here in Oxford it is a lovely day, cold and frosty but with the
sun smiling down on us. I am going to have a busy day — I usually do
on a Sunday.

16tli November

Lord Zetland^ came to the Majhs last night and spoke on ‘Please try
to understand us’. What a subject to have! He is not a good speaker &
in any case there wasn’t much to say. There were some questions at
the end — he dared not reply — so sat down after saying a couple of
inaudible words. And all the time he looked so superior & smug — I
could have done I don’t know what to him.

1 Thomas Pitts Taswell-Langmead' scholar in the field of constitutional history and
law

2 Lord Zetland Secretary of State for India, 1935—40.

182

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

Do you remember that bump I got on my head in Singapore?^
Well, the bump itself has more or less disappeared but the pain hasn’t.
I suddenly become aware of it when I am doing my hair or sleeping
on that side. I don’t know whether it is worthwhile going to a doctor.

Lots of love,
Indu

163

Somerville College,
Oxford,

22st November [1937]

Darling Papu,

I have just come from a most interesting lunch. It was at the home of
a Mr & Mrs Spalding. I don’t quite know who they are except that
they are connected with the dear old ‘Varsity’. He is terrifically
interested in history & I have promised to show him the Glimpses.
Then there was Prof. Wang, the lecturer in Chinese. I liked him awfully.
He isn’t attached to any special College yet for he is very busy learning
English. But he is a great scholar & conies from a family of scholars
and is very interesting to talk to. Like most Chinese, he seemed to me
very simple and straight-forward but with an immensity of depth —
don’t know why people say that Orientals have intricate & complicated
natures.

Gurudev’s painting — or rather the copy of it — has just arrived. It
is beautiful and so very expressive. Thank you for sending it.

Next Sunday at the Majlis we are having Palme Dutt. He is going
to speak on ‘Why we understand the British Govt, too well’. It is
going to be a sort of answer to Lord Zetland.

All my love,
Indu

1 . Indira visited Singapore in the course of a trip to Burma and Malaya taken with her
father in 1937.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

183

164

Somerville College,
Oxford,

25th November [1937]

Darling Papu,

I am afraid this is going to be another of my ‘rush’ notes.

One evening, I went round the shops and restaurants in connection
with [the] Japanese Boycott. We have asked all the restaurants to put
up a petition signed by ten dons — ^including Gilbert Murray. And at
the shops we want to put up enormous posters saying, ‘WE SELL
NO JAPANESE GOODS’. Of course it is terribly difficult. Jap goods
are so dashed cheap. In fact if the boycott were at all successful,
Woolworth’s would have to close down altogether and other cheap
shops, such as Marks & Spencer, would lose terrifically.

Laski is speaking at the Labour Club tonight. I should have liked
to go but in a moment of forgetfulness I accepted an invitation to go
to a concert tomght — I shouldn’t really grumble because it is a very
good concert — Roy Henderson — and good concerts are much rarer
than speakers like Laski!

Tons of love,
Indu

165

Somerville College,
Oxford,
3rd Decembei [1937]

Darhng Papu,

I am feeling rather drawn towards the Honour School of P.P.E. —
Politics, Philosophy & Economics — but being also tremendously
interested in History, I just don’t know what to do. The work in P.P.E.
will probably be too heavy for me. This is our History work: the
whole of English History to 1914, including of course the history of
the colonies, dependencies and the like. Then a General History
paper — we can choose one period.

Next there are general questions related to History & Political
Thought. The fourth paper will be on PoUtical Science. Then there is
French (or any other modern language) translation. We have also to

l8^ • TWO ALONT., TWO TOGTTIIT.R •

choose a special subject from among the following;

1) St Augustine; 2) The Third Crusade; 3) Medieval English
Boroughs; 4) The Period of Edward I; 5) The Italian Renaissance; 6)
The Protectorate and Restoration; 7) British India, 1772-1805; 8) The
American Revolution; 9) The French Revolution; 10) British Colonial
Policy, 1830-1860; 11) Political Economy; 12) Industrial Relations;
13) Principles of Modern English Government, 1867-1931; 14)
Military History and Strategy

For my special subject I want to do No. 5, the Italian Renaissance —
it will mean learning Italian & perhaps doing some Latin as well, but
I think it is worth it. Do tell me what you think about it all . . .

Lots of love,
Indu

166

Ass am -Bengal Railway,
On the way to Sylhet,
4th December, 1937

Darling Indu,

My eight day’s tour of the valley of the Brahmaputra ended today
and now I am going to the Surma Valley — Sylhet and Cachar. I have
liked my visit to Assam. The uncommon mixture of semi-tropical
scenery with a background of snow-covered mountains and a noble
river is attractive. Much of my journeying has been done on the
Brahmaputra and I have especially enjoyed sailing in a country boat.

There are any number of backward tribal people near the frontier
and some of them looked intelligent. I wish I had more time to give
to them. The Assamese people ... are pleasant and likable. Gauhati,
Tezpur, Silghat, Goalpara, North Lakhimpur, Jorhat, Goalhat,
Dibrugarh, Tinsukhia, Digboi, Dum Duma — these are a few of the
places I visited. Have you heard of them? A number of them were
well situated on the banks of the Brahmaputra, and Tezpur, in addition,
nesded at the foot of the hills.

I am travelling in style — first class! But I get litde rest, as at every
station — we stop at every station! — crowds come and fill the air with
their slogans. They are mostly tea-garden coolies. In their poverty
they give us some money for ‘Swaraj’ or for the Kamala Memorial

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

185

Fund.^ I feel terribly small when these gifts are offered. At the last
station some owner of a tea garden presented me with a case of the
best Assam tea — enough to last us for a year or two. Also a dozen huge
pineapples grown here. Some weavers gave me a piece of endi, the
strong coarse Assam silk. So my luggage is increasing.

I read m a Calcutta paper the other day a full report of the Majlis’
debate where Zetland came. It must have been an interesting function.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

167

In haul,
5th Deceiiibci [1937]

[Darling Indu]

1 am concerned about your headache. I think it would be as well to
consult a doctor. I don’t suppose any medication will do much good
but still expert advice is always desirable. You might consult the local
doctor and later, when you go to London, a specialist, who will no
doubt relieve you of a few guineas.

Have you news of Madan Bhai?

Papu

168

Gaimisch,
28th Decembei [1937]

Darling Papu,

After Mods were over, I was feeling so dreadfully tired and worn
out — almost ill — and a few days’ stay in London did me no good So
I packed up a rucksack, slung it on to my back, got into my ski trousers
and big boots and here I am.

When I first arrived the snow was not too good but then it snowed
all day & night over Christmas and Gosh what snow! I have never
enjoyed skiing so much.

1 After Kamala Nehru’s death, it was decided to open a hospital in her name in Anand
Bhawan, with subscriptions from the public.

I86

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

I eat enormously and have gone up six pounds in the eight days
that I have been here! Good work, isn’t it?

30th December

I went down to Innsbruck in the Austrian Tyrol yesterday. I must
confess I was terribly disappointed. I did not find it half as beautiful
as I had expected to do. The people were terribly grim looking —
one somehow felt that it was a crime to laugh out aloud in the streets.

My skiing has improved considerably since last year. I do wish you
could see me conung down one of these terrific slopes or, better still,
if you could be coming down it too with me.

Ever your loving,
Indu

169

Loudon,
4th January,

Darlingest Papu,

Garmisch seems so very far away. I wonder if I ever actually went
there or whether I just dreamt it.

Munich was a terrific rush and very tiring. I arrived there at about
eleven a.m. on the 31st Dec. On the 1st Jan. the Deutsches Museum
was open only from one o’clock to six. So in the morning I went to
the Alte Pinakotheke in which there is a most marvellous collection
of paintings, of Rubens, Van Dyck and Murillo — also Durer and many
others. Opposite the museum is the museum library and in it was
being held an anti-Jew exhibition. The entrance was free. It was widely
advertised in every German city & we saw crowds going in to see it.
At the entrance & in most of the advertisements were enormous
pictures of a very ugly Jew holding a bag of money in one hand and
the map of the U.S.S.R. & hammer & sickle in the other. The very
sight of the picture made me sick. It was absolutely revolting.

At the museum & other places also people like guides & postmen
were very friendly and asked about Bapu & talked of how my ancestors
& their own were the same — both being Aryans!

All my love,
Indu

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

187

170

London,
7th January, 1938

Darling Papu,

There is tremendous agitation going on amongst the London Indians
on the subject of Subhas Bose’s proposed visit to England. There are
endless committee meetings at which nothing is ever decided. The
reception committee itself has about fifty members and almost every
one of them wanted to speak at the Bose meeting! With great difficulty
it was decided that only three people should speak. This caused great
discontent, for the names could not he decided upon — at last it was
passed that there should be no speakers except Bose & Palme Dutt,
who is to be chairman of the meeting! Meanwhile the English papers
insist on printing the news that Bose has been seeing Mussolini and
the Duke ofWindsor. Bose says he has not but does not contradict
the news publicly — as a result some students beheve that he did have
these interviews and this causes unnecessary opposition to Bose &
the plans of the reception comnuttee.

Lots of love,
Indu

I7I

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
9th January, 1938

Darling Indu,

News from Europe tells us that almost the whole Continent is m the
grip of a cold wave. I have been wondering how you fared in South
Germany where it must have been terribly cold. Probably this was
good for winter sports.

I was in Bombay last week for five days for the Working Committee
meeting. It was warm there of course. Bapu was recuperating at Juhu
and I went there twice.

In Bombay I met Somerset Maugham,' the writer. Also Gunther,

L Somerset Maugham’ English writer.

• r.vo ALONr. I wo rooi.iiu H •

isa

tlic author of Inside Biropc, atici his wife.’ Last year Gunther published
his diaries in Nash ‘s magazine — perhaps you saw them. He had met
UK' two yeats ago in Loiidon and he had said in his d'ltiry tliat I had a
ricli chocolate complexion exactly like Josephine Baker’s! The poor
man was repeatedly reminded of this, much to his embarrassment.

Love,

Papu

1 suppose you have met Subhas Bose in London. He will be declared
elected to the Congress ITesidentship in another week or ten days.

172

Atiaiid Blmum,
Allahabad,
lOih January, 1938

Indu dear,

Last night I wrote to you.- Within an hour or two of that Dol Amma
had an unexpected paralytic attack. It was severe and after hcasy
breathing all night, she expired early this morning. Fortunately she
was not conscious all this time and so probably did not suffer. By a
curious chance we w^ere all with her w'hen the attack came — Nan,^
Betty,'* Ranjit & myself. Nan was going to Lucknow she was just
bidding goodbye to Mother. Even the children w'crc all in the house.

Papu

17 ^

London,
1 2th January [1938]

Darling Papu,

You will forgive me, I know, if I write only a few^ lines. What can one

1. Frances Gunther: American journalist, wife ofjohn Gunther.

2. Refers to letter dated 9 January 1938 (No 171).

3. Refers toVij.ap Lakshmi Pandit.

4. Refers to Krishna Huthcesing.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

I89

say on such occasions? I have never been able to speak or to write
when I feel deeply. But [with] these few Hnes I send you all my love
and you know that my thoughts are with you.

She was so very frail — ^perhaps we all expected this to happen in
the very near future & yet sometimes one is not prepared even for the
expected and the inevitable. The house will be empty without her
and how we shall all miss that tiny figure silently sitting in the dining
room or fussing around about the food and how much or rather how
little everyone ate.

How did it happen? And were you near her?

All my love, Papu darling, and if thoughts mean anything at all,
you will know that I am thinking of you all the time — I only wish I
could be with you.

Indu

174

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
14th January, 1938

Darling Indu,

Four days ago I wrote to you a brief note.’ But that day was not to
end before death again hovered over Anand Bhawan. Before we had
recovered from one shock, another came and numbed us. Death is
almost always an unwelcome visitor and yet it came as it should come —
suddenly and in the fullness of time. I was always afraid that Dol
Amma might be paralysed and linger on in pain and torment.
Fortunately there was the briefest of pain, if any, and she fainted and
became wholly unconscious right at the beginning. For nearly six
hours she remained in this state, breathing heavily, and then quietly
and peacefully passed away in the early morning at four forty-five
a.m.

We had spent a busy bustling day. Nan was going that night to
Lucknow and Chand.Tara & Rita were following in the car the next
morning. Betty & her children were leaving soon for Bombay. And
so there was packing and arranging and talking, and I felt too tired to
go to [the] office and remained at home most of the time. I played

L Refers to letter dated 10 January 1938 (No. 172).

190

• TWO ALONC, TWO TOGETHER •

with the children. There was more of a family atmosphere than I had
experienced for a long time. Dol Amma was more active than usual
and I noticed particularly that she was better than she had been. We
sat down to dinner, a large family party, and Dol Amma and Bibi also
sat there. We talked of old times and family affairs and told stories of
each other. Then Nan went away to pack and prepare for departure.
We all adjourned to Dol Amma’s room. She asked me about you —
how you were — if I had heard from you recently — ^if I had written to
you. I told her that I had written that very evening. ‘Did you send my
love to her?’ she asked. I confessed that I had not specifically mentioned
it but it was there of course, taken for granted. But she was not satisfied.
She said she could not write herself and so I must not forget to send
you always her love. I promised to do so.

We all moved to Nan’s dressing room and sat there for a few
minutes. It was about ten forty-five p.m. Nan said it was time for her
to go and we all got up. Dol Amma got up with some difficulty firom
a stool on which she had been sitting. She bent forward to embrace
Nan and suddenly fell towards Nan. Nan and I took hold of her. We
saw that all was not well and that something had happened. I asked
her what the matter was but there was no answer. I took her gendy to
her bedroom, partly leading her, partly almost carrying her. She tried
to walk but was not very successful. We put her in bed and soon she
was wholly unconscious. She started breathing hard. The doctor came
and said it was a bad attack of paralysis and the brain was probably
affected — cerebral haemorrhage. If so there was little hope. Anyway
there was nothing to be done except to wait and see for the next few
hours. Bibi and I were in her room all night and Nan and Betty were
next door in Nan’s room, coming in frequendy to see how Mother
was. At about four thirty a.m. the hard breatloing became slower and
quieter. At four forty-five it was all over. That was exactly the time
seven years ago when Dadu died.

After the first shock Bibi worked hard at various arrangements.
There were crowds of people coming. All business was suspended in
the city and at midday the funeral procession started. On the insistence
of people this took a long route, right through Katra and Chowk, on
to the embankment and then to the Sangam. A vast, more or less silent
crowd followed.

We returned about four-thirty p.m. I learnt on return that Bibi,
after finishing up the cleaning, etc., had felt unwell and had fainted.
She was lying unconscious and was breathing in exactly the same way

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN • I9I

as Mother had done the night before. Still we thought that she was
merely tired out. The doctor came and disillusioned us, telling us that
Bibi was suffering from exactly the same trouble as Dol Amma. She
did not regain consciousness. At four forty-five a.m. exactly, on 11th
January she passed away.

So within twenty-four hours we had two deaths in Anand Bhawan
and though Death had triumphed, it seemed almost that it came at
Bibi’s bidding. It was strange how peaceful both the faces were after
death, especially Bibi’s.

People have come to us in large numbers. And thousands of
messages. And incessant activity has kept us moving and occupied
during these three days. But this house feels strange and odd, and I
find myself going unconsciously to Mother’s room to say goodnight
to her or to ask her about something.

One generation in our family has now gone completely, and I
have become an elder, gradually fading off.

It is tnela [fair] time and crowds of pilgrims are streaming into
Anand Bhawan. The house remains but more and more it becomes a
hollow-shell. So it will remain till a new spirit fills its empty rooms
and verandahs.

And so I shall keep my last promise to your grandmother and
send you her love. But how can I convey in words the abundance and
intensity of that love of hers for you? Or her love for her son which
enveloped her and filled her. I know well that whatever love and
affection may be in store for us in the future, and we have been
fortunate in that respect in the past, neither of us will ever experience
that full flood of unselfish and enveloping love that only a mother or
a 'grandmother can give.

But we must not be sorrowful for she died at the right time and as
she should have done. For years now she was almost a wraith, weary
of life. Death must have been a release to her.

Love,

Papu

192

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

175

Kohat,

North-West Frontier Province,
24th January, i938

Darling,

These four days in the Frontier have been full of interest and even
some excitement.

At Abbottabad a welcome gate consisting of pillars of snow was
erected. I have had tremendous welcomes everywhere, including the
welcome of the tribal people in the independent areas. One old Khan
who had lost everything during the Civil Disobedience Movement
and had his house burnt down by the military, gave me his warm
ChitraF coat. It was an ancient, well-worn garment, not even clean —
but it was the most precious thing he had and he gave it to me. It is no
use to me, but the graciousness of the gift has made it very valuable.

Today we motored from Peshawar to Kohat. On the way we passed
through many miles of tribal territory inhabited by the Afridi.

The Afridis gave us a welcoming salvo of gunfire before each village.
We had to get down and speak to them and have tea and hard-boiled
eggs. It was difficult to consume eggs every two hundred yards or so,
yet one had to do it.

One of my Pathan hosts has presented me with some handspun &
handwoven pieces of cloth done by his womenfolk. One piece was
for me, the other and the finer one for ‘Indira’! I thought of you at
Oxford and how, whether you willed it or not, the burden of notoriety
was already yours. And with that notoriety an abundance of affection
and goodwill from numberless persons unknown to you. You cannot
escape it or the responsibifity that it entails.

Goodbye, my darling.

Papu

1 . A pnncely state in North-West Frontier Province, known for its picturesque scenery.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

193

176

Lucknow,
29th January, 1938

Darling Indu,

I have just come back from the Frontier — a few hours at Lahore cn
route and now a few hours in Lucknow before I proceed to Allahabad.

The cold wind and the hot sun have left their marks on my face.
But I feel fit and well . . . My appetite, as I wrote to you, went up
markedly and I consumed more meat than I have ever done. One of
the most satisfying meals I have had was with the Afridis in the tribal
territory. It consisted of diimha — lamb — roasted and thick bread
somewhat resembling sliirinal. Even Upadhyaya relished it.

I was presented with a lamb and a goat and one Afridi Khan even
presented his son to ILhan Saheb and me. A bit of a handful! We told
him to join the Kfrudai Khidmatgars (the Redshirts) and thus serve
the country. These Redshirts were all over the place and sometimes
lined the road for miles.

Fine upstanding men and women they were all over the Frontier
and bonny children but all very poor and shabby.There was no cringing
about them but an open-hearted welcome and hospitality.

I am so fascinated by these people that I want to get nearer to
them and that can only be through their language — Pushtu. I have
brought back primers & books in this.

Abdul Ghaffar Khan was always addressed as Fakhr-e- Afghan — the
pride of the Afghans. Sometimes they addressed me as Fakhr-c-Hind —
the pride of India. Once there was ‘Jawaharlal Klian Zindabad’.

The Redshirts used to dance sometimes and I was struck by the
resemblance to Russian dancing. I realised the common origin from
Central Asia. The Russian men s dancing is, I believe, derived from
Cossack dancing. And this made me realise that in effect, geographically
and partly culturally, I was in Central Asia. There is a vast difference
between the Frontier people and the Punjabis. And yet there was
definitely that link, that something, which binds the whole of India
together. My mind wandered repeatedly to past times and to the
great events that the Frontier had seen. To the caravans that had come
through and across it through countless ages — to the Aryans and
Scythians and Turks and Huns and Mughals who had marched into
India and been largely absorbed by India. To the coming of Alexander

194

• TWO ALONH, TWO TOGI-.THLR •

and the Macedonians. I crossed the Indus almost at the very spot
where Alexander is supposed to have crossed.

I thought of the ancient times of the Mahabharat when Afghanistan
was called Gandhara (from which Gandhari the mother of the
Kauravas); of Asoka who has innumerable memorials all over the
Frontier; of the Kushan Empire with its seat at Peshawar, the meeting
place of the these great cultures; the Indians, the Chinese and the
Western Asian mixed with Graeco-Romans. The cultural intercourse
of ages came to my mind — how India gave her religion and art to the
Far East, her science and mathematics to the Arab world.

Allahabad,
30th January

I could not continue this letter in Lucknow. My night journey was an
exciting one as vast numbers of pilgrims were travelling here for Mauni
Amavasya viela which takes place tomorrow. I have never seen so
many people jammed in a railway carriage. Within half an hour, at a
wayside station, my compartment was suddenly invaded by about
twenty or twenty-five persons. They were all Third-Class passengers
but I did not have the heart to ask them to go. They were decent folk
and we made firiends and travelled together for the rest of the night.
They did everything in their powder not to disturb me, and I, selfish
creature, spread out on my berth and tried to sleep while the others
were closely seated on all the berths as well as the floor of the
compartment.

Do you remember, when you were here, there was much
excitement over the abduction of Hindu women by the Waziris? When
I was in Bannu in the Frontier Province recently I referred to these
incidents. Unfortunate as they were, it was obvious that the motive
behind was economic. These dwellers of the lone mountains have
little to sustain them and for generations their chief occupation has
been fighting each other or the British Govt. They try to make both
ends meet by occasional raids and abductions of persons whom they
hold up for ransom. They treat their captives courteously and well.
They look upon the whole transaction as a purely business proposition.
The policy of the British Govt, has kept them p^ackward] economically)
educationally & culturally and has at the same time roused all their
warlike instincts. A friendly approach and some planned attempt to
meet their economic difficulties would go a long way to solve these

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

195

problems. They are extraordinarily hospitable and susceptible to
friendly overtures.

As I was speaking to a vast audience at Bannu, which included
many tribesmen, suddenly you crept into my mind and I began talking
of you. I have a daughter, I said, an only child, young in years, whom
I have sent abroad for her education. From her childhood upwards I
have tried to make her self-reHant, so that she might be able to take
care of herself wherever she might be and face every contingency
with courage and conhdence. I sent her to distant schools in various
parts of India to enable her to get to know our countrymen better
and have some knowledge of their languages. For I wanted her, as I
want all others, to reahse the diversity and at the same time the unity
of this land of ours. I have sent her abroad so that she may get to
know something of the wide world and its problems and so fit herself
for the service of India and her people. I should hke aU young men
and women m India to train themselves m some such way and thus
become true and efficient soldiers of freedom. So I spoke. And then
I said that if she happened to come to the Frontier Territory, as I
hoped she would, I would unhesitatingly and wilhngly agree to her
going toWaziristan unaccompanied, for I was confident that she could
look after herself and I was equally confident that the Waziris would
welcome her and treat her as a firiend and a guest.

After the meeting a man from Waziristan came to me, apparently
thinking that you were on the point of starting for that country, and
offered his services to accompany you and serve you during your
journey.

From Bannu we went to Dera Ismail Khan, passing on the way big
hills of soUd rock salt. We saw the mining and brought away some
beautiful crystals of salt. These salt hills, nature’s gift to man, are closely
guarded by the Govt, of India so as to preserve their salt monopoly.
And the poor people round about even lack for salt. Such is the
modern world.

Love,

Papu

196

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

177

Sonterifille College,
Oxford,
1st February [1938\

Darling Papu,

The world goes on as usual, and in spite of the wars and so very many
happenings the papers can still devote columns to the birth of a royal
baby.'

The problem of the Basque children is a serious one. Unless
something can be done about them, they will be sent back to Spain,
for the government is not helping in any way. We — that is Somerville
College — have adopted two children — this means that each one of
us has to pay 3d a week — about 2 sh a term.

Malaviyaji’s rejuvenation^ is most amusing. I’m longing to see what
he looks like — how did he get such a marvellous idea anyway?

The recent raid on Valencia has made me very anxious about Madan
Bhai.^ I had a letter from him some time ago. He says he is coming to
London at the end of spring.

With lots of love,
Indu

178

Somerville College,
Oxford,
4th February, 1938

Darling Papu,

I am so glad that you were able to spend a few days in the N.WF.P.
How vast and interesting and how very beautiful is our country. How
different is the climate, the scenery, how very different the people and
their customs in each part. Yet so few of us have the time or the means
to break through the narrow walls of daily routine that enclose our
lives, to get to know this immense space of land that is India, to enjoy

1. Princess Beatrix, eldest daughter of the then Princess Juhana (later Queen) and
Prince Bernhard of the Netherlands, now Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands.

2. Madan Mohan Malaviya; nationalist leader and educationalist. He underwent the
Kaya fCn/pa, an Ayurvedic method of rejuvenation lasting forty days in January 1938.

3. Dr Madan Atal was on a medical mission in Spain.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

197

her loveliness and to make friends with our fellow countrymen who
speak a tongue and think thoughts that are not our own. How I wish
I were with you as you spread the magic message of freedom from
one distant corner to another.

Last Wednesday I went to supper with the Thompsons. Mrs
Thompson was brought up in Syria, where she still owns a house and
often goes there. She was very interested in an Arab girl at Somerville
and wanted me to bring her to her house. We had quite an interesting
evening although Edward Thompson and I almost came to a quarrel
several times. He is so dreadfully pessimistic.

Well, Papu darling — Au revoir (whenever will it be?) and lots and
lots of love.

Your loving,
Indu

179

Jarakhar,
Dist Hamirpur UP.,
7th February, 1938

Darling,

Here I am in a remote rural area in the U.P.

A district conference is being held here. It is now all the fashion to
hold our conferences in villages and this experiment, started at Faizpur
last year, has succeeded wonderfully. Vast crowds roll up and the whole
atmosphere is that of rural India, so different from our towns.

Successful as these conferences are, they are not unmixed blessings
for the villagers. A large area is occupied, crops have to be cut down
(with compensation), and, what is worse, their neighbouring fields
get spoilt. Thousands of people come by bullock-cart and the bullocks
graze about & consume the crops.

I have just been for a midnight stroll in the grounds here.Thousands
of people sleeping on the ground in the open — some with quilts
lihaf, most with cotton sheets only to cover them. BuUock-carts parked
all over the place. Scores of new shops put up temporarily. Some
amusements — a theatre, even a cinema! The little village blossoms
out as a town almost.

Haripura of course is going to do this on a grand scale. Under
Nandalal Bose’s direction an artistic town of huts is growing up, with

198

• TWO alone, two together •

many of the modern conveniences — water supply, proper roads;
electric lighting, sanitation, organised food supply, etc.

8th February

This is Bundelkhand and the Bundelkhandis are a sturdy lot of people.
It is a poor country, hilly and stony and lacking water. The women
here wear huge rings round their ankles — silver or of cheaper stuff,
usually the latter. These vary in weight from a pound to ten pounds
each. Imagine having to wear these and having to walk and run about
with diem! They are not only heavy but also broad so that the feet
have to be kept fairly wide apart. They tinkle when the women walk;
it is a pleasant sound.

The more I see of village women the more I like their figures as
compared to town women. Perhaps this is so because they work hard.
But the ideal exercise for learning poise and the way to walk is to
walk with a jar of water on the head. Almost every woman in the
villages here has to do this daily and often several times a day. I have
seen women with three earthen pots — ghare — one on top of the other,
balanced on the head, walking unconcernedly along. Occasionally
they would take an additional one under the arm.

Your loving,
Papu

180

Sonicruille College,
Oxford,
8 til February, 1938

Darling Papu,

Thanks enormously for the cheque for ffiQ. I don’t know why you
spoil me so much — I’m sure I don’t deserve it. I don’t know how I
manage to spend such a lot either — for I don’t seem to buy anything
except books and they are rather an expensive item. Then it is so
difficult not to contribute to the fund for Spanish medical relief & for
the Chinese one, the fund for the International Brigade in Spain and
for the upkeep of the Basque children! However ^30 might last me
ages.

You make the Frontier people sound so attractive and through
your description I felt — almost — as if I had accompanied you on your

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

199

tour and had met these brave people and had enjoyed their dancing
and their beautiful scenery.

In one of my letters, I think, I mentioned a Mr Radice who was a
commissioner or some such thing in the U.P. His sister — a very
charming person — is up at Somerville. I had tea with her one day
and then she said that her people would like to meet me. So last
Saturday we took the tram to her home — ^it is in a tiny village quite
near Oxford. This was my first visit to a proper English home and I
loved it. Mr & Mrs Radice were out in India for the twenty-five years
necessary in the Civil Service. Then they wandered round the
Continent and about three years ago they settled in Coomb Halt — it
isn’t big enough to have a real station. They have a very typically
English house — rather old with cobbled pavement floor, etc., and a
tiny garden which had httle snowdrops scattered all over the place. 1
had lunch there and then came back to Oxford. They have rather an
interesting ancestor. Mr Radice’s grandfather was an Italian (hence
the name) who was one of the leaders of the Itahan revolt of 1820.
With five others he was sentenced to death — three of them managed
to escape and came and settled in England. And m the corridor of the
Radices’ home they have a copy of the death warrant framed and
hanging on the wall! The present Mr Radice Senior is an enthusiastic
pacifist! He is very proud of this fact — in the whole of his twenty-five
years’ service in India he never once had to use the police or the
mihtary m any riot or other disorder. He says he just went and sat
down and talked and everything was all right.

Some time last week I had a letter from a Mr Vaidya, written on
behalf of the News Chronicle. He said that India was celebrating 7th
Feb. as Gaidilu Rani* day and that on that date he was issuing an
appeal for the release of Indian women political prisoners in the News
Chronicle. The N. Chwnicle was also publishing Gaidilu’s story. And
would I please send them a few lines? Well, I did — but there is no
sign of anything about India or her political prisoners in the News
Chronicle of the 7th or in the Star which is the N.C.'s evening paper.
Nor have I heard any more from the mysterious Mr Vaidya.

With my love,
Indu

1 Rani Gaidilu Naga freedom fighter who was inspired by Mahatma Gandhi.

200

• TWO ALONr., TWO TOGnTHTIl •

I8l

SomcrvHle College,
Oxford,

11th February, 1938

Darling Papu,

1 went to hear Krcisler, the famous violinist, the other day. He was
gloiious. The hall was packed full — all Oxford was there and I’m so
glad I didn’t miss it. He played two great favourites of mine, a piece of
Bach’s and Mozart’s Rondo in G Major. 1 just shut my eyes and forgot
everything except that heavenly music — even the memory of it thrills
me. It seemed almost an insult to clap after his playing but if we
hadn’t, he would not have given us any encores. I didn’t know I liked
music — like is hardly the word, but still. In fact he in.spired me so
much that I felt like starting my violin all over again. But of course
there isn’t any time.

If the world can still produce such harmony and melody, there
must be some hope for us!

Lots of love,
Ever your own,
Indu

182

Somerville College,
Oxford,

22nd Febniar]', 1938

Darhng Papu,

Madan Bhai is back from Spain. He came up to Oxford last Saturday.
On Sunday I took him to our Majlis study group, when he spoke of
his experiences in Spain and in the afternoon he left for he had to
address the London Majlis. He has grown considerably thinner & his
old clothes hardly fit him. It was interesting talking to him — ^and some
of his stories were too horrible to hear. He badly needs a rest, for his
nerves are shaken — he would get a start almost every time a car made
a certain kind of noise and he couldn’t quite forget the air raids. He is
completely out of touch with Indian affairs for he hasn’t seen a single
paper for the past year.

• INDiRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

201

This week Anthony Eden is front-page news.^ His resignation
was the best thing that has happened in the National Govt, for some
time. And it has increased his popularity immensely. As for the
government, heaven knows what will happen Avith HaHfax^ as Foreign
Secretary. He seems to me to be too much the perfect Enghsh country
gentleman, firmly believing in the tragedy that must accompany
socialism, to reahse the real harm that Hider & MussoHm can do &
will do to England — as for the rest of the world, he doesn’t care about
it!

Lots of love, darhng,
Indu

183

Somerville College,
Oxford,

24th February [1938]

Darhng Papu,

Besides sending telegrams of support to Eden & of condemnation to
Halifax, Oxford is busy with a China Week. We have opened a tiny
China shop, where students & other helpers sell things — Chinese
and otherwise — ^in aid of China. There is an absolute craze for China
posters these days & some of them are remarkably good. I have one
which I want to hang up in my room but it is a bit too big. It shows a
very beautiful peasant foot clad in a string sandal about to tread on a
swastika, which is already cracking.

In London today the China-India committee is observing China
Day. In the afternoon there is to be a poster parade & meeting.

The Enghsh papers are silent on Indian affairs. I haven’t the vaguest
idea what is happening. Menon sent me copies of the telegram that
you & Bose sent to the India League & of your statement, or report as
you call it, to the Subjects Committee.^

I do hope all this trouble won’t come in the way of your trip to

L Anthony Eden resigned as Foreign Secretary in protest at Neville Chamberlain’s
appeasement policies

2- Lord Halifax (later Earl)-Viceroy of India, 1926-31, Foreign Secretary, 1938-40.

3 Two days before every plenary session of the Congress, the members of the All-India
Congress Comrmttee met as the Subjects Committee to frame the session’s agenda

202

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER. •

Europe in the summer. 1 am so looking forward to it.

With lots & lots of love,
Indu

184

Someruille College,
Oxford,
1s( March, 1938

Darling Papu,

Last Sunday was one of the best evenings in the history of the Majlis —
at least as far as I have known it. Prof. C.E.M. Joad^ & Prof.
Radhakrishnam spoke on ‘Religion in the West’. They are both really
good speakers and it was absolutely grand. I am going to tea with
Prof. Radhakrishnan on Sunday.

It was a glorious day today. I have discovered a new flower,
‘Forsythia’, named after a Scotchman Forsytlr^ who first found it. It is
one of the first spring flowers and perfectly lovely.

With lots of love,
Indu

185

Lucknow,
2nd March, 1938

Darling Indu,

I intend having my fortnight at Khali'’ soon — ^probably from the 10th
to the 25th March — and I expect to return to the plains bursting with
energy.

About my going to Europe everything is vague and uncertain,
except my desire to go there and see y^ou. By the time I have decided
finally there will probably be no berth left! But that is a minor matter
and is not likely to keep me back.

1. C.E.M Joad: British philosopher and author.

2. Dr S Radhakrishnan: philosopher, later President of India, 1962-67.

3. William Forsyth; Brirish botanist and gardener.

4. A place in the Almora Hills in Uttaranchal where Ranjit Pandit owned a house.

• INDIR-A COMCS INTO HER OWN •

203

[An] unusual experience in Bombay was a visit to Elephanta.^
Long long ago I had gone there when I was a child and I had forgotten
all about it. Taken as a whole I was disappointed in the caves — I
expected a greater richness and variety. There were three or four fine
figures — a bashful Parvati on her wedding day and some dwarpaJs.
But the Trimurti was magnificent and overpowering. That head with
the wisdom and thought of ages behind it, ascetic and yet so
sophisticated and full of the knowledge of life, unattached and
unentangled and yet enveloping all that came within its ken, calm and
with an astonishing strength. I thought of the Rock of Ages, how
appropriate in a way it was; but that too only described one aspect of
it. My mind wandered to the sculptors who had wrought this wondrous
thing in ages past, seemingly with their hands but really with the
genius which filled their minds. How long did it take them? Was it
the work of one generation or more? As I stood there gazing in
wonderment 1 felt very trivial and commonplace before this majesty
in stone.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

186

Khali,
Almora U.R,
Kmiiaon Hills,
lUh March, 1938

Darling Indu,

So at last I have come to Khali.

1 have been here just a day and a night and the weather has not
been as good as it might be. But already I am enchanted with the
place. I like the situation of the house on a hilltop. To tlie east and
west there are deep valleys winding away with streaks of water shining
in the sunlight. To the north-east there is Binsar Hill dominating the
neighbourhood. To the north there is the snow range which I have

1 • Oephanta is .in island near Bombay. It contains cave temples belonging to the ninth
century. One of the most famous sculptures there is theTrimurn (meamngthe three
images), depicting the three-headed Shiva

204

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

not seen yet. The house itself is a solid, neatly built structure, not very
big but big enough for half a dozen persons to live in comfort. There
are plenty of small cottages and outhouses. Round about are stately
deodars and pines and oak trees and two magnificent eucalyptus trees.
I had never seen such huge eucalyptus trees before. Among the trees
the pines predominate and they give the peculiar and pleasant pine
smell. But for stateliness it is difficult to beat the deodar and the
whisper of the wind as it passes through them is extraordinarily
soothing.

Ranjit has worked hard here during the past two years and more.
It was jungle when he came and the house was full of bats and hardly
habitable. There was lack of water.

Now the jungle has been cleared off and a farm and orchard have
taken their place. There is prospect of green fields with the growing
crops swaying gracefirUy in the wind. Hundreds offimit trees are dotted
about and there must be dozens of varieties of good firuits.The peach
flowers are a mass of purple or rather mauve. Little buds are peeping
out of the other fruit trees and probably within two or three weeks
they will also be in full bloom. And in the summer they will have
ripe rich fi’uit hanging in abundance from their branches. There will
be apples and pears, peaches and apricots, oranges and tangerines,
grapes and cherries, plums & mulberries, strawberries and raspberries,
pomeloes and pomegranates, walnuts and almonds, chestnuts and
persimmons — ^what a list!

The farm contains wheat, barley, oats, rice, Indian corn, bajra,
peanuts, moong pliali [groundnuts] and some varieties of local grains.

Of the flowers I shall not give a list. Apart firom the ordinary annuals
there are special varieties of rose creepers, wistarias, Kashmir varieties
of lilac and dahlias and gladioli and iris and daffodils Sc wallflowers.
The daffodils are out now and put up a brave show. The acacias are
also in full bloom.

Among the new trees Ranjit has planted Kashmir chenars and
poplars.

It is fascinating to go round the garden and farm with Ranjit. He
takes a personal and individual interest in almost each tree and
flowering plant. He tends it and watches it grow like a child. I
remembered what vast difference it makes if one personally takes
this interest in a garden. In Almora prison every plant was a firiend of
mine whose fortunes I followed with a certain degree of excitement.
It was a great thing to see the new buds shoot forth and peep out into

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

205

a new world.They had their own way of looking round, just as human
babies have. Some were bright and alert, some quite impish, some
dull. Every morning and evening I visited every plant and noted the
changes that were taking place and I knew exactly the number of
flowers even that each plant had.

There is another aspect of Khali which Ranjit has developed.Wool-
spinning has been organised and a number of persons sit here all day,
spinning away. About a hundred of them in the surrounding villages
take the wool to their homes to spin and bring it back. There is fine
spinning and I see no reason why good pashminas should not be
made here. Soon weaving will begin. The local govt, has taken over
charge of this spinning & weaving.

A school for children is in prospect.

Then there is bee-keeping and we get good honey, and cattle and
a poultry farm.

Altogether this is an enchanting place with any number of pleasant
walks under the pines and excursions to places nearby — ^Binsar is a
famous place for its view of the snows and this is only two and a half
miles from here. A longer excursion is to the Pindari glacier — six
days’ easy march. Even Kailas and Mansarovar seem easy of access.

1 have told you all about Khali now — or a great deal about it.
Enough at least to make you want to come here. Of course we shall
come together some day.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

187

Khali,
Ahnora U.P.,
15th March, 1938

Darling Indu,

Lying in the sun here, imbibing Avarmth and energy, I allow my mind
to wander. I can afford to think of other matters and to dream a httle.
So I evolved plans of your meeting me at my landing place — ^Venice
or Genoa. From there we might go to Vienna and then, why not?
Budapest. Having gone thus far it seemed a pity not to go a few steps
further to Istanbul. But it was rather far. Anyway Prague was indicated

206

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

and from there to Munich to have another look at the Deutsches
Museum. To Switzerland then & Paris & England. It was pleasant to
form these airy programmes. Another bright idea struck me. Why
should I not return to India via Russia, Tadjikistan and Afghanistan!

Foohsh fancies! Even in this remote place news has reached of
Hider’s coup in Austria^ and all my peace and quiet have vanished
and the relaxation given place to tension. Is it war? Or if not right
now, when "will it begin and drown the world in blood and ruins?
What win happen to you and me when this comes? For aught I know
the fatal step might have been taken. But whether it has been taken
already or not, we live on the brink of it, and the making of programmes
seems folly. I suppose I shall not know till the last few days definitely
whether I am going to Europe.

All my love,
Your loving,
Papu

1 Chalcot Crescent,
Regents Park Road,
N.W.I.,
2nd April, 1938

Darling Papu,

I am told that some Indian papers have printed the date of your
departure from India as 1st June. I do not know how far this is true,
for you have not written anything definite either to me or to Krishna
Menon. Gosh! I am looking forward to seeing you.

Today was the great Varsity Boat Race. What tremendous excitement
there is over such events! I had thought of staying at home and just
listening on the radio — ^for the progress of the crews is broadcast by a
man following the boats in a motor boat. But the Mitchisons^ live
right on the river & have one of the best views of the race firom their
roof. They asked me to come & have a look — and tonight I am going
there to dinner with Krishna. I met quite a lot of interesting people

1. On 1 1 March 1938 Hitler ordered German troops to cross the Austrian border and
two days later the Austrian Government declared Austria part of the German Reich.

2. Naomi Mitchison and her husband. She was a sister ofJ.B.S. Haldane, and an author
in her own right.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

207

there. The race was exciting — in spite of losing the toss we won by
two and a half lengths!

With lots of love.
Your loving,
Indu

189

Somemlle College,
Oxford,
23rd April, 1938

Darling Papu,

I haven’t been able to write to you for sometime because my eyes had
been giving trouble. I went to an oculist and got them tested and have
now landed myself with specs. Fortunately I have only to wear them
for reading & other close work & not all the time . . .

I have been seeing Krishna about your trip. The only thing that is
worrying me is your intention of staying with Lothian^ — and please
don’t think that it has anything to do with what Krishna thinks of
him — Lothian is not just another Conservative. He is a very prominent
member of the ‘Cliveden Set’,“ the set that forced Eden to resign and
the set that is conmionly known as ‘Hitler’s friends in Britain’. He is
a thorough Fascist & doesn’t make any bones , about it. Your staying
vath him would amount to the same as if you spent a weekend wdth
Hitler himself or with Mussolini. It would create a terribcally bad
impre.ssion on all people in this country who are even slighdy ‘left’ &
who sympathise wth India & the Congress. So please do tliink it over.

I am afraid I feel very strongly on the point and even if you do
go — Lord Lothian will have to excuse me. I do hope you will
reconsider the matter and change your mind about it.

In Mods I failed in Latin — this means taking just the Latin at the
end of the term — on the 20th or the 21st June. So I shall not be able
to get away before that date.

With lots of love,
Indu

1- Hiihp Henry, 1 1th Marquis of Lothian: British diplomat and statesman
— An influential British group, including Lord Lothian, which supported the policy of
appeasement ofNazi Germany' in the late 1930s.This group used to meet at Cliveden,
the country home of Lord and Lady Aston.

208

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

190

Lucknow,
24th April, 1938

Darling Indu,

I have now decided to sail from Bombay on 2nd June by the Lloyd
Triestino Biancamano, which should reach Genoa about the 12th June
or thereabouts.

When I arrive I suppose you will be stiU at Oxford. You need not
trouble to come to the Continent to meet me. If you can manage it,
you can come to London. I should like to go to Oxford before your
term ends to see your rooms, etc., meet Miss Darbyshire & perhaps
some others. So my first few days after arrival in London should be
kept free for this. I have asked Krishna Menon to draw up my
programme in consultation with you. There may be some weekend
visits — Stafford Cripps,^ Lothians. I think both of them should be
accepted.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

I9I

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
30th April, 1938

Indu darling.

Your letter of the 23rd^ has just come.

Latin seems to be your weak spot. It is a nuisance to have to carry
on with it and I hope that after Mods are done with finally you will
have no more Latin examinations.

I am not surprised at your feeling strongly about Lothian. I feel
more or less the same way. I know about the Cliveden Set and Lothian’s
pro-Fascist and pro-Hitler activities. I think they are dangerous. But
still after careful consideration I decided to accept his invitation. In
effect I had done so over two years ago and I had repeated my

1. Sir (Richard) StafFord Cripps: British Labour leader.

2. Refers to letter dated 23 April 1938 (No. 189).

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

209

acceptance later. It is a long-standing promise and I do not want to
break it. But I would have refused in spite of that old promise if I had
been convinced that it was the ■wrong thing for me to do. I happen to
be something more than a prominent leader of a group or party. I
have a special position in India and a certain international status. I
have to function as such whatever my personal likes or dislikes might
be. If anybody thinks that by my visiting Lothian I am betraying my
cause, or adding to Lothian’s prestige, or tarnishing my o'wn reputation,
I cannot help it. I happen to know something about my work and I
am not unacquainted "with international affairs. I have to judge what I
should do and should not do, after consulting others of course. And I
am quite clear in my own mind that I cannot say no to Lothian so far
as accepting his invitation is concerned. If I am so weak as to be
influenced by him then I am not much good anyway. It may be that I
am in a stronger position to counter him later. I feel therefore that I
should accept. Indeed I have done so already. I shall be sorry if you
are unable to accompany me.

I have hastened to answer your letter as I wanted to teU you how I
felt about this matter.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

192

Srinagar {Garhwat),
4th May, i938

Darling Indu,

Here we are — Nan, Raja and I — not far, so far as the map goes, from
the rest of the world and yet cut off from it to an extraordinary degree.

We had a good flight following the course of the Ganga and the
Alaknanda. We went to Kedarnath first and went fairly near to the
snowy peaks and then returned. Then Badrinath which was grander.
We did not and could not descend, nor did we actually see the temples.
I ■was not very interested in them. The high peaks going up to 23,000
feet attracted me. We returned to a place called Gochar which is the
nearest landing ground to Badrinath — it is five or six days’ journey
by road. At Gochar we had a meeting and addresses and food, spending
nearly three hours there. And then back by plane to Hardwar. In the

210

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

course of a few hours we had flown about 270 miles and done a
journey which on foot (and there is no other way) takes five weeks.
The difference was a measure of the gap between the new world and
the old.

On return to Hardwar we drew up our programme afresh and left
by cars for Devaprayag, a journey of fifty-seven miles by a very tortuous
mountain road. We reached there at dusk and spent the night there in
a panda’s house, which was not bad and was beautifully situated on a
high precipice overhanging the Alaknanda. What is the Alaknanda?
You will ask, ignorant one. I was myself rather vague on the subject
till a day or two ago. Well I shall tell you. At Devaprayag two rivers
meet — the Bhagirathi and the Alaknanda — and both together are then
called Ganga. The real Ganga so named, starts from Devaprayag from
where it goes down to Rishikesh and Hardwar and beyond. Both are
thus the Ganga in a sense, but usually the Bhagirathi is considered the
Ganga proper and this comes from Gangotri, the source of the Ganga.

This morning I had a dip in the Alaknanda at Devaprayag. The
current of the Alaknanda (and even more so of the Bhagiratlii) was so
strong and the stones so slippery that it was not possible to go more
than a few feet firom the bank. But even so the water was delightfully
cold and refi-eshing.

This morning we started from Devaprayag on ponies and rode
about nineteen miles. It was fairly hot going and we were rather tired
at the end of it. Almost right through we followed the course of the
Alaknanda. Many pilgrims, looking tired and footsore, were tradging
away to Badrinath, with the prospect of another month’s journey
before them. Our bridle path was a good one and a pleasant and
sometimes heavy scent of jasmine hung along it.

We reached here soon after noon, long before our luggage.
Everybody here has got one major desire — to have a motor road
connecting Srinagar with the outside world, a very legitimate wish.
Another wish, rapidly taking form and entirely right, is to develop
electric power. In a hill country with numerous rivers and waterfalls
this is the obvious thing but our governments have never thought
along these lines. They only make roads and think of electricity for
the hill stations where the officials go to. And because officials seldom
come this way this poor spread-out district of the U.P., bordering on
Tibet, has been grossly neglected.

When I go back from here I shall add yet another picture to the
gallery in my mind — that of Garhwal, poor and neglected but

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

211

full of great possibilities, if scientifically tackled. What an enormous
number of things we have to do in India when once we get going.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

193

Somerville College,
Oxford,
6th May, 1938

Darling Papu,

. . . Darling, I did not for a moment presume to advise you on what to
do or to suggest that you had not been following Lothian’s tactics — of
course you are the only person who can decide what is the best thing
to do. I was only stating my own opinion on the matter. And, 1 am
afraid, it is still unchanged. I shall hate being away from you for even
a couple of days but I don’t think I could bear to stay with Lothian.
On the other hand I don’t want to seem rude to Lothian so I think
the best thing for me to do in the circumstances would be to get
myself invited by some friends for the very weekend on which you
will be at Lothian’s.

Krishna says that he has written to you about your visiting Spain. I
admit It would be good propaganda for Spain & for India. And I
know that the element of risk & danger will appeal to you. But I
admit I am feeling very worried about it — in fact the more I think of
it the less I like it.

All my love,
Indu

194

Bombay,
15th May, 1938

Darling Indu,

In a moment of weakness I have decided to travel first by steamer.
The cabins of the second class did not frighten me (except for the
possibility of having an unwelcome companion) but the little deck
space and want of other places where I could work in peace and

212

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

relative comfort was unpleasant to contemplate. I want to do a good
deal of revising and -writing on board.

I cabled to Krishna that I was prepared to go to Spain. Of course 1
must go if there is a chance to do so. I am surprised that you should
grow soft over the idea. There was an equal or greater risk in the
streets of Allahabad some days ago when I might conceivably have
been stabbed during the days of communal trouble.

About Lothian I have already written to you fully. You will of
course do just what you think best.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

195

Somerville College,
Oxford,
10th June, 1938

Darling Papu,

This is just a hurried line to welcome you. I am feeling so excited
about seeing you that I can hardly think of anything to say.

Meanwhile this little note brings you all my love & good wishes.
Oh, I am so looking forward to the 23rd! I do hope your English
programme — or any programme for that matter — is [not] too heavy.
So very many people want to see you & meet you. I tell everyone to
approach Krishna.

With aU my love — A Bientdt,

Indu

196

Marseilles,
14th June, 1938

Darling,

So we have arrived at last.^ This morning we reached Genoa^ — met
Krishna Menon there — took the plane to Marseilles and spent the

1 . In 1938 Jawaharlal travelled to Europe and Great Britain on an c.x'tended visit. Indira
joined her father after his arrival in England.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

213

whole day without food or drink in search for various visas and
endorsements for Spam. I have never had quite such a painful
experience of how bureaucracy works. At last we got them all and
returned worn out in the evening. We leave at four thirty a.m.
tomorrow for Barcelona. How I wish you were with me.

These few hues are just to send you my love. Don’t worry about
your examination. You will do well in it.

All my love.
Your loving,
Papu

197

London,
iSth September, 1938

Darling,

The mormng papers are out already teUmg us of Chamberlain’s flight^
to Hitler.

Look after yourself and get strong & well soon. Only the fit in
mind & body can do much and there is big work ahead.

Love,

Papu

198

Brentford Hospital,^
Brentford,
Middlesex,
15th September, 1938

Darhng Papu,

I hope you had a good flight. And I wonder what sort of a journey
that other eastbound traveller — Chamberlain — had; it might have an
effect on how he talks to Hitler! I can’t help thinking that he is up to

1- Neville Chamberlain flew to Berchtesgaden on 15 September 1938 to discuss a
peace settlement with Hitler

2 While traveUing in Europe with her father, Indira was taken ill in Hungary in the
autumn of 1938. The ailment was diagnosed as pleurisy, which troubled her for
several months.

214

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

no good and will make a mess anyway as far as Czechoslovakia is
concerned.

I am more or less the same — have been feeling terribly tired all
day. In the afternoon I was weighed — 85 lbs.

I am going to miss you no end.

Lots of love,
Indu

199

[Brentford Hospital
Middlesex]
21st September [1938]

Darhng Papu,

I am feehng much better today. By Saturday I shall be up & about, for
on Friday week I leave the hospital! . . .

Isn’t the European situation perfecdy sickening? What can one say
about it? Words seem so superfluous. I knew Chamberlain couldn’t
be up to any good when he flew to Germany & I shouldn’t be
surprised if our friend Nancy [Astor] was the originator of the bright
idea. Czech propaganda in tliis country has been seriously neglected
and it is taking time for the people to realise what actually has
happened. But surely even now public opinion could force
Chamberlain to call Parliament — ^it depends largely on Labour. But
what can the British Parliament now do to save Czechoslovakia?
Whether the proposals be accepted or not, whether there is war or
not, there can be no peace for Czechoslovakia.

All my love,
Indu

200

Wardha,
10th December, 1938

Darling Indu,

I hope your packing has been completed without fatiguing you too
much. I am afraid you have not had as much rest in Allahabad as we
had hoped. You realise of course that you have undertaken a biggish
job — to build up your health on an unshakeable foundation. I hope

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

215

therefore that you will apply your will and determination to get fit
rapidly and carry out a regime of rest, etc., in Almora.

But remember in any event to

(1) Take your temperature morning & evening.

(2) Three hour’s rest in the afternoon and some rest before and
after meals.

(3) If you feel tired increase your rest. Also if there is any rise in
temperature.

Take care not to catch chills. Be well clad & covered . . .Take your
weight before you leave Allahabad.

Love,

Papu

201

In train,
Bombay- Allahabad,
22nd December, 1938

Darling Indu,

It IS long since I wrote to you — ten long days or even more. And yet
every day I felt the urge as I thought of you, and words and phrases
tumbled over each other in my mind. Several times I took pen in
hand and was on the point of beginning, but bodily weariness overcame
me and I said to myself: let it be tomorrow when I am firesher in body
and spirit.

But I am writing about myself when my mind hungers for news
of you. I hope it is weU with you, and the sight and cold air of the
snow-covered mountains is fiUing you -with vitality and strength.

In Bombay I have been having a novel experience in presiding
over the Planning Committee. It is a very mixed crew — ^big business,
professors, economists, scientists, govt, ministers, and odd people.
Whatever the Planning Committee might achieve, it will certainly
add to my education, and though I grow old I have not lost the knack
of learning and filling the enormous gaps in my mind. By the time I
grow decrepit with age and weary of this business of life, when I am
even more querulous and intolerant than I am now, and have lost all
the strength and vitafity that I still possess, and bent-backed stumble

216

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

forward painfully, supported by you, my dear, by that time, perhaps, 1
shall be full of wisdom. But what will it avail me then when the
power to act has gone? Si jeimesse savait; si vieillesse poiwaitl^

Many years ago I used to dream that when you grew up, you also
would play a brave part in what is called public life in India, to shoulder
this heavy burden, to help in putting brick upon brick in the building
of the India of our dreams. And I wanted you to train and fit yourself in
body and mind for this engrossing task. But I am not sure that I desire
you to do this now, and to experience the heartache and the crushing of
the spirit that this involves. For me there is no escape, no refuge, till the
inevitable escape that comes to us all. But why should I encourage
others who are dear to me to enter into the heartbreaking business?

Your loving,
Papu

202

Bombay,
15th April [1939]

Darling Papu,

This is just to send my love. Don’t worry about me, darling. I shall be
all right.

Jivraj^ came again this morning — -just to say how d’you do.
Bharucha & he examined me on the 13th. I enclose a small note
which he wrote in the way of a report. They advise my going to
Switzerland or to France, since France would be easier to get out of.

Dr Schacht^ is still busy being entertained by the big industrialists.
He is trying hard to explain to them dc convince them that when
Hitler called Indians ‘monkeys’ he did not mean Mr Ambalal Sarabhai'*
& his son!

I must go & feed now. So an rcvoir and aU all my love.

Indu

Thank you very much for your letter. I .shall write from on board.
Love.

1 . If only the young knew; if only the old could.

2. Dr Jivraj Mehta: physician and nationalist.

3. Hjalmar Schacht; Gcrnian financier.

4 . Ambahil Sarabhai: industrialist and merchant of Ahmedabad.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

217

[S.S. Strathaird]
18th April, 1939

Darling Papu,

So I have sailed after all!! I did hate leaving India & you this time. It
has left a strange sort of emptiness inside me. But here I am and there
IS no turning back. And indeed the fault is entirely mine, for mine
was the decision to leave. It wouldn’t be so bad if I did not keep
seeing your face — so sad, with something more than just sadness.
Darling, don’t be so defeatist — no one can defeat you except yourself.
You are so much above all the pettiness that is invading Indian poHtics.

Travelling tourist is uncomfortable but much nicer than first. I
have a two-berth cabin, which I share with a Kashmin-Punjabi dame
who is married to a Bengah. She is very amusing. She talks & talks &
talks from morn till night incessantly and without a break. It is fortunate
that she does not mind who she is talking to, and stiU more fortunate
that she requires no answers.

With all aU my love — darling mine.

Indu

204

Y.WC.A. Central Club,
Great Russell Street,
WC.l.,
1st May, 1939

Darhngest,

Last night I was taking a snack somewhere in Belsize Park, when I
ran into Mohan Kumaramangalam. He told me that Kabadi^ has just
received a telegram saying that Subhas had resigned & Rajendra Babu
elected in his stead. This is disturbing news. Whatever Subhas’s actual
politics, he had come to be regarded as the leader of the ‘left’, so that
his resignation seems to be a terrific setback to the socialist movement
and great victory — one may almost call it personal — for VaUabhbhai.
Anyway, we are at last out of the deadlock and even the wrong road
may be better than not moving at all.

L Sundar Kabadi, Indian journalist in Bntain

218

• TWO AI.ONf, rwo TOr,I.'tHi;R •

Much as I love London, 1 could never call it beautiful. But just
now it is perfectly ugly. Do you remember the little black Eros in the
middle of Piccadilly Circus? They have barricaded him and on the
barricades are stuck enormous seven-foot posters; ‘We’ve got to be
prepared.’ ‘National Service — Enrol now.’ ‘Have you done your duty?’
‘What are you doing for your country?’ In every room there are
instructions for A.R.P. [Air Raid Precautions].

I had an enjoyable stay in Paris. The weather was none too good
but I met some interesting people. Nanu is there now & so is
Shankar — the Hindustan Times cartoonist.

Have you met him? I think he is very nice.

In spite of the weather, in spite of everything, spring is in the air. It
sort of gives you an uplift. All over France & England the little \vild
fragrant spring flowers arc covering the hillsides and the plains and
the blossoms are out. Paris was full of my favourite flower — ^lilies of
the valley — 'niugncf in French. Do you know them? They grow wild
in sheltered woods, little snow-white bells, perfect in form and
delicious perfume. They are the flowers of May. And there is a custom
in France to give small bunches of them to one’s friends on May Day.

The best thing I did in Paris was to go to a permanent exhibition
of ‘The Nymphiades of Claude Monet’. Mile Bossenee, who was on
the Strathaird with me, told me that I would find them beautiful. So 1
asked Louise to take me to them. And now it is one of my most
beautiful memories. Monet was one of the first of the Impressionist
painters. He has painted only ponds and trees. The sheer beauty of
them is breathtaking. His colours are perfect and he gives such an
atmosphere of quiet and peaceful calm. I went there at the end of a
tiring afternoon but witliin a few seconds my fatigue fell off me like
an unwanted cloak, my eyes felt as if I had just washed them in soothing
cold lotion and I came out into the outside world fresh enough to do
anything. We missed you so very much. You would have found them
beautiful. In spite of all these feverish preparations & scares, I still
think that there will be no war. Nobody seems to agree with me!

All my love to you,
Your loving,
Indu

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

219

205

Lucknow,
12th May, 1939

Darling Indu,

It is a month today, is it not, since you left Allahabad and now you are
many thousands of miles away.

For the past week I have been so engrossed in Lucknow afiairs
that I have almost forgotten Hitler, Mussolini and all their unholy
tribe. I came here specially for the Shia-Sunni trouble.^ It has grown
to enormous dimensions and nearly 8700 Shias are in prison and the
bitterness between the two is something unbehevable. For this week
I have spent long and exhausting hours, nearly all day and till far into
the night, talking, discussing, arguing, drafting statements.

Ranjit lies in the grip of a fierce attack of malaria with his
temperature running to over 106° F.

Agatha has taken with her a gramophone record for you. This is
the new Bande Mataram tune. Do you remember a doctor who travelled
svith us when we went to Santiniketan? He promised to send you a
python skin. Well, he has sent it. I do not quite know how to send it
on to you.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

206

[Hotel Winkelried]
Stansstad,
Switzerland,
27th May, 1939

Darling Papu,

This is my second day in Stansstad. I left London on the 24th. Stansstad
was Bhandari’s^ idea. He has spent four or five summers here in this
very hotel and was ecstatic about everything: the hotel, the family

1- Refen to conflict between two Muslim sects, Shias and Sunnis.

2. Dr RC. Bhandari- an Indian doctor practising in England who vt'as consulted by
Indira.

220

• TWO ALONH, I WO TOGIirHCR. •

who runs it, the town, the surroundings. Stansstad is on the Lake of
Lucerne, just thirty-five minutes from Lucerne by lake steamer. I expect
I shall be here for most of the summer, so I hope the sun comes out
soon & stays out.

You have already had the doctors’ report from Bhandari. Hebert
was more cautious — I suppose Harley Street specialists have to be.
He said there was still a shadow or darkening (or some such thing)
on the left side & that I would have to be very careful & be examined
& X-rayed every six months or so. But that I could go to Oxford in
October.

I wrote to the Darb as soon as Hebert had seen me. I went up to
Oxford for a couple of days — the Darb was very affable, kissed me
on both cheeks & asked which room would I like to have in October.
So I am going up definitely in October to do the ‘Social Administration’
Diploma.

With much love,
Indu

207

Hotel Winkelrkd,
Stansstad, Switzerland
5 til June, 1939

Darling Papu,

I am so glad Mamu’ has got the Kew Garden job — he was looking
forward to it.

Since the last three days, the weather has been fine. Every morning
after breakfast I take a small flat boat — you hire them for fifty
centimes — take it out towards the middle of the lake and then let it
drift while I stretch out in my bathing costume and sunbathe as well
as do some reading. Already I have gone a deep sienna brown.

I have been reading and enjoying very much Auden^ &
Isherwood’s^ Journey to a War.

I believe, from what people tell me, that I am looking much better
but my weight is still being obstinate — 84 lbs. I am taking regular

1. Kailas Nath Kaul: Kamala Nehru’s brother. He was a botanist.

2. Wystan Hugh Auden: English poet.

3. Christopher Isherwood: English playwright and novelist.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

221

exercise, eating enormous meals and sleeping fairly well. I don’t know
what more to do.

All my love,
Indu

208

Amnd Bhaivan,
Allahabad,
3rd July, 1939

Darling Indu,

My letters to you grow infrequent, or at any rate the letters I actually
write and post. But other letters take shape in my mind and remain
unwritten. A vague feeling that too frequent letters might be a nuisance
and a burden to you holds me back.

Perhaps I am undergoing some inner change also, due to age and
a variety of experiences. I am withdrawing into myself more and
more and my incursions into the outer world are being limited. One
part of me pushes out, the other tries to hide itself from the world. A
Jekyll & Hyde existence. Here in Allahabad the introvert prevails and
I live in this big house in absolute silence with very few interruptions.
A visitor might well think that the house is uninhabited. I do not
encourage visitors and I am glad that they respect my wishes. I am
beginning to think that there is something in the old Hindu idea of
sanyasa after a certain age.

Bundles of books awaited me here, most of them sent by authors
or pubhshers.There was Gunthers Inside Asia and Edward Thompson’s
new book — You Have Lived Through All This, which to my surprise I
found he had dedicated to me. I have been reading these and musing
on this strange world in which we live.

I am going to Ceylon. For some time past the lot of Indians in
Ceylon has grown progressively worse. Indeed all over the world
they are being ill-treated and, from some places, kicked out. Little
Ceylon has been behaving very shabbily. Two weeks ago I had an
indirect and informal invitation from some ministers of the Ceylon
Govt, to go there. I sent a disdainful reply. If Indians were not good
enough for Ceylon, Ceylon was not good enough for me. But when
the Working Committee pressed me to go on their behalf and the
A.I.C.C. passed a resolution to this effect, I had to agree. Probably I

222

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

shall be in Colombo most of the time but I hope to steal a day for
Kandy and a few hours for Anuradhapura where I want to see again
the old statue of the seated Buddha in contemplation. For the last
seven years I had a picture of this almost always with me, in prison or
outside. Do you remember the sonnet I sent you long ago, I think
from Almora jail?^

The [Kamala] Memorial Hospital has at last begun to take shape.
The architects and contractors are here and are digging the foundations.
It should be ready and functioning within a year.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

209

Park Hold,
Burgcnstock,
Near Lucerne,
Switzerlani,
15th July, 1939

Darlingest Papu,

How can your letters ever be too frequent or nuisances? I look forward
to them enormously — just the sight of your handwriting on the
envelope brings so much happiness. It is not nice to write because
one has to — ^but to you I always want to write, to share with you the
things that I have seen and have enjoyed. So please do give up all
ideas that keep you from writing to me. Already I am regretring so
much that I ever left you to your solitary domain. The sanyasi idea was
bound to come to you — I suppose all people entertain it for a while.
But it passes off. In you too it has to pass off for you are needed by
India and so many many people — one of them is me. I have strange
moods and strange ideas come fleeting across my mind; for some
time I am like one possessed, and always with disastrous results. But
all this too is the outcome of being alone — ^for I am lonely too ■
terribly lonely and alone. So dependent on you.

Anyway here I am in far away Switzerland. You will notice that I
have changed my address. Burgcnstock (suggested by Dr Bhandari)

1 . See letter dated 7 June 1 935 (No. 73).

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

223

is slightly higher than Stansstad. It has a really glorious view of Lucerne
and its surroundings. Dr Bhandan wants me to stay on in Suisse until
Sept. But this country is terribly expensive. You have to pay through
the nose for everything. I think I shall return to England at the end of
this month — -July.

Feroze’s [Gandhi] holidays have begun & just before I left Stansstad
he came over to Switzerland. We did two trips together — to Trubsee
()ust above Stansstad), from whence we climbed to the ‘Joch Pass’ and
further to ‘Jochstockli’, a peak above the pass. It was a climb of 1403
feet. The Joch Pass is 7303 feet above sea-level. It was an enjoyable
climb for we found many lovely Alpine spring flowers. I thought of
you & wanted to send you some but they would only arrive withered.

For the rest, I am finding it quite a job to read & take copious
notes on the two colossal volumes of Finer s Dieory & Practice of Modern
Gout.

With very much love,
From your,
Indu

P.S. I enclose a whole heap of snaps — taken with Feroze’s Leica. Aren’t
the enlargements good? Nine enlargements & five Httle ones.

210

Anand Bliaimn,
Allahabad,
30th July, 1939

Darling Indu,

It was a delight to receive your letter^ and postcard^ and more so to
find that you have benefited by your stay in Suisse. The pictures you
have sent are very good and you certainly look fuller and fitter in
them. Why cut short your stay in Suisse? If it is doing you good, lay by
a store of energy and good health. They will stand you in good stead
when you have to face the November fogs of England. Anyway it will
be foolish to go back to save a little money.

The Ceylon visit was strenuous but still exhilarating. We were

1 Refers to letter dated 15 July 1939 (No. 209),

2 Postcard not published.

224

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETflCR •

feted by all the big guns.This was not exhilarating. Ceylon high society’
is singularly uninspiring. It is a pale reflex of suburbia. But the popular
welcome was something immense, in spite of the ill feeling that has
arisen between Indians and Ceylonese.

I am still revolving in my head the idea of visiting China. It takes
shape. As a preparation for the visit I have had myself vaccinated and
inoculated against cholera and I am carrying about with me some
stuff" which will be injected inside me for protection against typhoid.
This is a new experience, for I have not had any such thing done to
me since my boyhood. But I wanted to avoid difficulties with
regulations. Having protected my body from disease, the only danger
that remains is from man. There is no vaccine or injecrion for that.
But the danger is not great and what there is will add a spice to the
visit. I wish there was real danger, I want to know how 1 feel whenl
have to face it.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

211

Hampdms, [Penn]
High Wycombe, Bucks,
Eii^Innd)
27th August, i939

Darling Papu,

What an awful time you have chosen for going to China!

I am here in the country, somewliere between London and Oxford
in a small village called Penn. I am staying with Prof. W. Macmillan &
his wife & their two children. This is the result of the combined efforts
of Krishna & Ellen Wilkinson,^ who has a cottage not far from here.
In [thel event of war, the Macmillans want to take their children up to
Scotland. If there isn’t war — ^I feel in my bones that there wont be
and yet I can’t think how it can be averted — I shall probably stay on
here until the rmddle or end of September.

All my love, dearest Papu>
Indu

1 . Ellen Wilkinson: British politici.in and feminist.

• INDIRA COMFS INTO HER OWN •

225

212

Near Chungking,
28th August, 1939

Darling Indu,

There is so much expectation of war that it is impossible to make any
plans. If war breaks out in Europe, which seems unUkely, I shall return
immediately to India. Otherwise I shall stay on here for another three
weeks.

We had another air raid here tonight. I had a glimpse of the Japanese
bombers caught in the searchlights and of a fight between them and
the Chinese chaser planes. But then I was hurried into a dug-out. I am
spending the evening and night at the Generalissimo’s [Chiang Kai-
shek] house, right out of Chungking. Madame is a delightful hostess.

Love,

Papu

213

Hampdens,
Penn,
High Wycombe,
Bucks,

2nd September, 1939

Darhng Papu,

If you are not already in India you must be rushing back to it.

I wonder if you received my letter’ in China. I sent it to Chungking.
I have been in Penn nearly two weeks now. Already the small
scattered village of Penn is filling up with children evacuated from
London, every household has two or three.^ For the last three days I,
who have always disliked the sight of needle & thread, have been
sewing almost incessantly — blankets for the evacuated children and
black curtains and blinds for the nightly blackouts. I have also
volunteered for canteen duty.

A couple of days ago I received a circular from Somerville College.
It began;

L Refers to letter dated 27 August 1939 (No 21 1).

2. War Was officially declared on Sunday, 3 September, 1939.

226

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

According to instructions received earlier the government
wishes the Universities to continue to function in all their
teaching activities, and the University of Oxford is told to carr)'
on where it is. The buildings of Somerville College are
requisitioned for hospital purposes, but the College will
continue to function in its integrity, and suitable accommodation
is provided for staff & students . . .

Term will open at the usual time — 13th October. There follows a
list of things we must bring to college — such as gas masks, electric
torch, lightproof material and so on.

I have thought over this & think that perhaps it would be best to
continue with my original plans for going to Oxford. Especially so as
Agatha & Dr Bhandari would not allow me to take on any full-time
war service. Still, I am going up to London tomorrow to find out
what I can do in and out of Oxford. There is nothing that 1 would
dislike more than just sitting & ‘resting’ in some far-off and safe corner,
which is what everybody seems to want me to do.

We have been strongly ‘advised’ by the post office that letters should
be ‘short & to the point’. So I think I had better stop.

Much love,
Indu

214

[Amiid Bhnuwi,
Allnhahad]
17th September, 1939

Darling Indu,

I have just returned to Allahabad after nearly a month’s absence. 1 had
to hurry back [from China] when I heard of the declararion of vat-
Propably I would not have been able to come back so soon if the
Chinese Government had not helped me by getting a special [plane]
to carry' me direct to Burma. The ordinary air services were su-spended
and the few airliners that were functioning were completely booked
up. The Chinese Government got a fine Douglas passenger plane
from Hongkong for me and this took me from Chungking to Lashio
on the Burma border. Lashio is in the northern Shan States and is the
railhead in Burma. I did not however wait for the ne.xt train but went

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

227

on by car to Mandalay which was 180 miles away. En wtite I was
stopped at several places and Burmans and Indians had gathered
together to welcome me and there were small meetings.

From Mandalay I went by train to Rangoon, but there were floods
on the way and the railway line was covered by a foot of water. The
train was stopped. I was in too much of a hurry to reach Rangoon
and it was arranged that I should cross the flooded area by rail trolley.
Ultimately I reached Rangoon seven hours late to find a huge crowd
of about ten thousand or more persons still waiting for me. There was
a great deal of pushing to reach me, and as I was cormng out of the
station the rush was too great and many persons were unfortunately
injured as they fell down and were trampled upon. Even I in trying to
save others fell down. A troop of Chinese girl-guides had come to
welcome me and seven or eight of these were among the injured,
one getting a fracture of the collarbone. I was very much distressed at
this but fortunately no injury was really serious.

From Rangoon I hurried by K.L.M. to Calcutta. Thereupon I
went by train direct to Wardha where the Working Committee was
meeting.

The air journey from Chungking to Lashio ^vas very interesting
and over mountainous and wooded country. At times I had a feeling
that we were on the point of colliding against a mountain which
loomed up alarmingly near. But our Chinese pilot was good. The
plane returned from Lashio to China soon after landing me and
unfortunately took back with it to China a litde bag of mine by mistake.

I was less than two weeks in China. But these few days were full
of incidents and I could write much about them to you. I must not,
however, do so now.

The war has brought tremendous responsibilities to aU of us and
our hands are going to be full. What is going to happen in India in the
near future I do not quite know. But one thing is quite clear, that we
are in for a dynamic situation and big changes will take place.

I am enclosing a copy of a statement issued by the Working
Committee. The Committee has also appointed a small war emergency
subcommittee of which I am the chairman and the other two members
are Maulana Abul Kalam Azad and Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel.

All my love,
Your loving,
Papu

228

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

215

Hampdcns,Peim,
High Wycombe, Bucks,
19th September, 1939

Darling Papu,

It is so difficult to write these days. A French soldier mote a long
letter to his wife, who was in the country — all she received was a large
square paper in the middle of which was printed ‘Madame, your
husband is in perfect health but he is too talkative.’ Signed, the Censor!

I am quite — ^indeed, very well. I am still with the Macmillans &
shall stay on until they leave for Scotland; they have not yet decided
just when that will be.

Very much love,
Indu

216

Hampdens, Pcmi,
High Wycombe, Bucks,
28th September, 1939

Darling Papu,

Some time ago I lost my old spectacles and tried to use the ones I
acquired in Lucknow. These gave me a lot of trouble, so I decided to
see a good oculist. Ellen Wilkinson recommended me hers and 1
went up to London yesterday to see him. He put drops in my eyes
and examined them thoroughly, and pronounced my eyesight perfecdy
good and normal! He said I need not have glasses at all — and that if
my eyes hurt me it just meant that I was using them too much. He
illustrated this by saying: If you walk twenty-five miles a day, and
gradually get more & more tired, y^ou don’t go to a doctor & ask ‘what’s
the matter with my legs — they ache?’ That is good news, is it not?

Jean-Jacques has been called upon to join. It must be terrible for
Mme Morin.

Are you getting your foreign magazines, such as Time & the Hcu’
Statesman, as usual? In Time of 4th Sept., there was rather a good
photograph of you & a paragraph about your visit to China.

All my love,
Indu

. INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

229

217

[Anaud Bhawau,
Allahabad]
30th September, 1939

Darling Indu,

Till'; war has increased distances and lessened contacts and all manner
of barriers have grown up keeping countries and people cut off from
each other. My mind goes back to the last big war, before you were
born, and when I was very much younger. We were all excited of
course by it but it was a distant excitement as that of an onlooker at a
game. But none of us are mere onlookers today . . .

The last war! How gradually we grew accustomed to it as month
by month and year by year it dragged on with its highlights and its
long dreary periods of trench fighting. It is likely to be different this
time, but who knows? Yet a month of it has brought vast changes and
Poland is no more and Russia dominates the scene more and more.
There was no radio at the time of the last war. Now everybody is
becoming a radio fan.

I have been going backwards and forwards between Allahabad
and Lucknow and tomorrow I am going to Delhi to see the Viceroy.
What will come of all this I do not know. Somehow I have lost that
keen incentive that gave me vitality and drove me to action. Perhaps it
is age. Yet I do not think so. It is just a sense of weariness and futility
that has been stealing over me these three years or more. I tried to
ignom it and to suppress it by my incessant touring and hard work. I
impressed others but not myself, for I realised that I was trying to
escape from an inner weakness. And now this weakness seems to
grow and with it a carelessness of what happens. Probably I am not a
big enough man for the job that fate has thrust upon me.

In China I expressed a desire to get a few souvenirs. I had little
tune to go shopping and I ^\'as not encouraged. Some things were
brought to me. They were lovely woven silks (pictures, etc.) and rich
embroideries. I chose a few, thinking them to be expensive. But the
exchange was very much in my favour and so the price was reasonable.

1 chose a few more. And then I stopped for I discovered that my
Chinese hosts would not let me pay. This kind of thing is an
embarrassing business, yet I could not get out of it.

bo I brought with me a boxful of silks and woven and embroidered
pictures. I went to Wardha first and started distributing them. There

230

• TWO A1.0NI , TWO TOGHTHCR •

was Sarojini Naidu and I gave her some for herself and Bebee and
Papi.Then to Amril Kaur’ and Psyche and Bui; to Savitri and to some
of my political colleagues. I sent a packet to Betty. On coming to
Allahabad I sent these silks to Rup and Bappi^ and gave other pieces
to various friends. Suddenly I discovered that I was exhausting my
stock. In alarm I have removed what I had left from prying eyes and
locked them in your little cupboard. I hope this will remain there
when you come and you will use them in some vsmy.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

2I8

[Hanipdcns] Penn,
[Biicfa]

30th September, 1939

Darling Papu,

This is really an odd sort of war, to say the least! When Hitler invaded
Poland & England declared vvar I was all excited and enthusiastic and
wanted to do something and I did help a bit in the billeting & looking
after of the evacuated children. But the policy of the government has
been so very discouraging. One begins to doubt — as indeed many
people in America and other neutral countries and also in Germany
are doubting — whether England is in earnest about the war. And
indeed, in the light of recent history and the recent policies of the men
who are now leading the country, how can one be sure? Churchill is
the only man in the ministry whose words have some force and also
ring true.^ Mr Chamberlain has never been accused of being a brilliant
personality but now in the hour of Britain’s greatest need of leadership
I can only quote Pachard Law in the Time & Tide: ‘We do not ask of
Mr Chamberlain that he should be Pitt or Chatham — only that he
should seem a little less like an alderman exposing sewage scandal.

Much love,
Indu

1. Rajkuman Amrit Kaur: member of the princely family of Kapurthala, disciple of
Mahatma Gandhi.

2. Rup and Bappi: Sister-in-law and sister of Kamala Nehru.

3. Wmston Churchill was First Lord of the Admiralty in Chamberlain’s War Cabinet.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

231

219

Wardha,
6th October, 1939

Darling Indu,

I have just reached here from Delhi and received your letter of
September 19th.^

In Delhi I had a long interview with the Viceroy and I also met,
after three years, my old friend Mr Jinnah. The position is entirely
uncertain and is likely to remain so for another two weeks or so. The
prospects of a setdement are not hopeful.

Is it possible for you to get Delhi on the radio? If so you will get
Indian news, including my movements which are reported. Try it.

There is much that I would Hke to tell you. I have had it on my
mind for long. But it is not possible to write and I do not know when
we shall meet — months or years hence. And these months & years
will bring great changes and perhaps so many jfresh experiences to
each of us. How uncertain everything is. Life has become more of a
question mark than ever.

I propose to write to you at least once a week, probably oftener. If
you do not get my letter regularly, the fault is someone else’s.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

220

Wardha,
10th October, 1939

Darling Indu,

I am very glad to learn that your eyes are in better condition than we
had imagined them to be. Take care of them however, and do not use
them too much by artificial light. Do you remember my telHng you to
take simple eye exercises daily?^

I am not surprised at your letter sent to China not reaching me
there. 1 had a curious instance of the Chinese censorship today. One

1- Refers to letter No. 215.

2. See letter d.ited 11 July 1933 (No 41).

232

• TWO ALONC, TWO TOGnTHEIl •

of our Chinese medical unit doctors has returned and he came to see
me. He brought me a letter from Madame Sun Yat-sen^ who lives in
Hongkong. She wrote to say that she had been very keen on meeting
me and, fearing that I might not be able to go to Hongkong, she
intended coming to Chungking to meet me. She sent me a telegram
suggesting this and waited for my answer. I never got that telegram!
Evidently her coming to Chungking was not approved of by the censor
or his bosses.

Did I write to you of my losing my little bag in the plane that
brought me from China? Well, this bag has turned up! Our doctor
friend from China has brought it with him.

I met Amma in Delhi. She is very worried about you and Kailas.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

221

Ltickiww,

17th /1 8th October, 1939

Darling Indu,

I wrote to you three days ago. I told you then that Edward Thompson
had suddenly arrived in Allahabad. He shifted over to Anand Bhawan
and spent two days with me and I had long talks with him. He is
rather erratic in his conversation — the quality of a poet, I suppose—
but it was a pleasant change to have him and talk to him. He helped
me to form a better picture of England today and Europe, and I
helped him a little perhaps to understand the amazing complexity of
India. Before he went I gave him two small pieces of Chinese silk for
you — one has a woven picture and the other is an embroidery. I could
have sent you more but I did not wish to burden him or cause him
difficulties over the customs. These are a birthday gift for you — soon
that birthday will be coming and I do not know where I shall be
then. So I have seized hold of this opportunity.

I am writing this at midnight. I have just read the Viceroy’s speech
which he has made in answer to the. Congress demand. The door is

1. Madame Sun Yat-sen; wife of the President of the Chinese Repubhe. She later
became aVice-Prcsident of the People’s Republic of China.

NDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

233

banged.’ I suppose events will march more rapidly now and I do not
know for how long I can write to you as I have done.

Look after yourself, my dear, and keep your body and mind fit
and strong. You -will require all your strength in the days to come.

Love
Your loving,
Papu

222

Bombay,
25th October, i939

Darbng Indu,

I was very glad to learn from a cable from Krishna Menon that you
were progressing rapidly. I have just had a talk with Jivraj Mehta. He
thinks that a stay in Switzerland will do you a lot of good, especially
during these winter months. It will not be so much treatment that
you will require as regulated living under medical supervision. I do
not know what Switzerland is like now or what it will be in the future
as the war progresses. But presumably it will escape the war. Jivraj
suggested Dr Rollier’s^ sanatorium or hotel in Leysin. This is called
Les Frenes. Dr RoUier is a very agreeable person and is a friend of
jivraj’s. 1 have written to Bhandari about this matter and asked him to
consult you and Hebert about it.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

L The door is banged’- this is a reference to a speech by the Viceroy, Lord Linlithgow,
dated 17th October, 1939 in which the Viceroy had offered unacceptable terms to
the Congress leaders in return for their extension of support to the British Government
during the Second World War.

2 Dr Auguste Rollier: Swiss physician.

234

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

223

Brentford Hospital,
Brentford,
Middlesex,
26th October, 1939

Darling Papu,

Darling, I am terribly ashamed of myself for falling ill all over again. It
is really most exasperating when you come to think of how
scrupulously careful I have been about food, regular hours & rest and
so on. Anyway, I have lost all the weight gained in the last year and
now weigh 77 lbs! And here I am back again. I am steadily getting
better however & since yesterday my temp, has been normal. The
fluid is still there & my chest is very painful.

Sitting up tires me rather easily, so I won’t write anymore just yet.

With very much love and all good wishes — ^you must be having a
pretty frightful time these days.

Indu

ES.

Darling, how thoughtful of you to think of my birthday in the midst
of all crises and meetings and trouble! I expect I’ll have to spend the
day in bed in hospital! Doctor says I have to be here for another three
weeks or a month. And then a few weeks somewhere in England — I
do not think I shall go to Switzerland until Christmas time.
Everybody is being perfectly sweet, so don’t worry about me.

With all my love and all my thoughts,

Your loving,
Indu

1st Nov., 1939

ES. ,

Darling, I’m getting a bit worried about going to Switzerland. It’s
going to be so frightfully expensive. I can’t decide what to do. I’m
feeling rather upset just now. But I shall write soon & tell you what
has been decided.

Lots of love,
Indu

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

235

224

[Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad]
iOth November, 1939,
Diwali Day

Darling Indu,

I ^vas so happy to get your letter^ from the Brentford Hospital. It is of
course irritating and annoying that after all the care you took of
yourself, a cold should bowl you over and upset your plans. Well, we
shall learn from this and put in a lot of reserves of health and strength
inside you, so that you can ignore and treat with contempt any outside
intmsion.

Your going to Suisse is now more or less certain. At Jivraj Mehta’s
instance I had suggested Leysin because Jivraj has great faith in Dr
Rollier there. Do not worry about the cost. I do not like sanatoria as
a rule but some of these Swiss sanatoria, notably Rollier’s, are like
good cheerful hotels. In a pension the food is not likely to be so
good and personal attention will be lacking. But you must not decide
for the second best in order to save cost. That is false economy and
may mean a more prolonged stay later on.

1 came back to Allahabad today from Lucknow. Yesterday Nan and
Ranjit returned here, bidding goodbye to their house in Lucknow
and bringing all their furniture, goods and chattels with them. A long
procession of thclas brought this from the station and for the moment
it lies piled up all over the place. Most of it will be auctioned off
soon.

Today is Diwali day and for the first time after many years Anand
Bhawan is looking gay with the diye. There are not too many of
them but still they are a pleasing sight. What a charming festival is
Diwali! I was surprised to find in the western verandah below a
taklita,^ all decorated with earthen toys and other Diwali
paraphernalia, and presided over by big earthen images of Ganesh
and Lakshini.

I am enclosing a flower which someone has sent me. It wall remind
you of Kashmir. It is the sa&on crocus — Sqfian ka phul.

1- Refers to letter dated 26 October 1939 (No 223).
2. Wooden pLatforin or bed

236

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

I should like you to figure out your future expenses, roughly, and
to tell me what arrangements you would like me to make.

All my love,
Your loving,
Papu

225

12th November, 1939

Jawaharlal Nehru
Allahabad

Happy birthday darling am much better temperature normal 19 days
gained 6 lbs fluid inflammation gone stiU staying fortnight hospital.

Indu Nehru

226

Amnd BImm,

• Allahabad,
16th November, 1939

Darling Indu,

Your message^ was very welcome because of the news it gave about
your progress to health. In China I believe the fiftieth birthday is a
great event, for age is honoured there and everyone is keen on
appearing older than he is. My own enthusiasm for age is not so great
and the figure fifty in connection with my age frightens me. Perhaps
wisdom comes with the years, but wisdom by itself does not take one
very far. There must be the urge and capacity to act up to that wisdom.

Sometimes I feel very old and tired. It has nothing to do with the
years. It is mental weariness and a feeling that I am something apart
from the world I live in. My contacts lessen and grow more impersonal,
and I grow more and more a spectator in the very drama in which I
take part. Life is a curious affair and puzzles and perplexes me far
more now than it used to do when I was younger and had more
assurance. That assurance fades out. What do I know, what do I
understand?

The Gunthers sent me a cable from New York: ‘Birthday greetings

1. Refers to letter dated 12 November 1939 (No. 225).

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

237

second fifty years are easiest when you stand fast love.’ What a horrible
prospect to think of a second fifty years! Among the other messages
was one from Mussoorie: 'Salgira Mubarak jhanda uncha rahe hamara}
love Chand Tara Rita Tangle Anna.’^ Do you remember Tangle, the
spoilt little dog which is Rita’s delight?

Birthdays are occasions for renewing one’s wardrobe. Except for a
new kurta and dhoti I had not added to my sartorial belongings in
India for many years. This time there was a regular conspiracy afoot to
induce me to have a new shetwatti made and I surrendered, although
my old ones were quite good enough. Now I am the proud possessor
of a new shenmni and I do not quite know what to do with it.

In another two or three days a crowd of people will descend on
Anand Bhawan. There , is the Working Committee and the corner-
stone ceremony of the Kamala Memorial Hospital. We are having
tents put up.

One thing you really must not worry about: that is the question of
expense. We have never worried about money matters. Why should
we do so now? We can carry on easily enough, if not on income then
on capital. If capital runs out we have the capacity to add to it. In this
changing world, with all manner of revolutionary possibilities, no
one knows what our present money may be worth a few years or
even months hence. The real capital we have is our intellectual and
other capacity for work and that no one can take from us. And then
we have the very useful and worthwhile capacity for reducing our
expenditure and changing our mode of fife when necessity demands
this. That in itself will be an adventure which adds zest to life. But
there is no question of that for the present or the near future. Personal
money matters never worry me. I am so confident about my own
capacity both to earn enough and to reduce my own expenditure that
the future does not trouble me.

The httle book I wrote — Letters from a Father to his Daughter — has
become quite a goldmine, though I am not going to profit by it. It is
becoming a textbook in many provinces in English, Hindi and Urdu
and vast numbers have been printed. I was hardly aware of this fact
when I discovered that Kitabistan had made about Rs. 20,000 out of
it. Something to the tune of Rs. 2500 or so trickled to me also. But I
disliked the idea of exploiting poor students and so I have made a

!• Happy Birthday; May our flag fly high.

“ Anna Ornsholt. governess of the daughters ofVijaya Lakshmi Pandit.

238

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

present of my rights in the book to provincial governments and
universities on condition that the book was issued at a ver)^ low price.
The U.P. Govt, are selling it to students at four annas^ and yet making
a substantial profit. At my suggestion they are using this money for
scholarships for poor students, to be named after Kamala.

I suppose I could have made a lot of money out of my books if I
had been a businessman. But I have a knack of choosing impecunious
publishers or even bankrupt ones. The Tamil edition of my
Autobiography has sold very well but I have not profited at all by it as
the publisher is half-mad and half-knave and is in addition an insolvent!
I cannot even keep in touch with the numerous editions of my books
in India. Still, I must not complain. Some money comes in regularly
and is of great help — not in personal expenditure which is not great,
but for other purposes.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

227

Brentford Hospital,
Brentford,
Middlesex,
IPtli November, 1939

Darling Papu

Your telegram has just come.

Nobody [knows] here that it is my birthday today and yet by a
strange coincidence — or rather, series of coincidences— I ani
celebrating it in a fitting manner. After a most unusually unrestful and
stormy night, windy and noisy with the banging of doors and the
rattling of blinds, Sunday dawned one of the most beautiful days of
the year: sunny, dry and very clear with just a few clouds to cast
occasional shadows and to make the sky more interesting. England
started the day by having an extra hour in bed, for this morning at
three a.m. British Summer Time came to an end and all clocks were
put back an hour. After that I was allowed to walk, even to have a real
regular bath, the first since I fell ill five weeks ago. I wasn’t allowed to

1 . There were sixteen nnnas in a rupee.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

239

Stay in very long but it was grand all the same.

The last three days I have been sitting up for tea and in the mornings
have my bed pulled right up to the window — ^which, thank goodness,
I can keep wide open — so I can look out on more cheerful objects
than the grey walls of a hospital ward.

Day before yesterday the Macmillans, the people I was staying
with out in the country, in Penn, Bucks., drove along here to see me.
Wasn’t it sweet of them? They’re both most frightfully busy people &
a forty-mile drive is not very amusing in these days of petrol rationing.
Prof Macmillan thought I would be interested to meet G.D.H. Cole^
and, before he heard that I was ill, wrote to him to look me up at
SomerviUe. Poor G.D.H. trotted up to Somerville and had to spend
quite a while in the very dreary porter’s lodge before he found out
that I hadn’t come up.

You rmght be interested in these cuttings of Byrd’s^ expedition.
Do such news creep through to the Indian papers? American
magazines, such as Life and Time are having very interesting sections
on the present war. Do you manage to see them, I wonder.

Here I am writing to you of fleeting, foolish things, while you at
the moment must be in conference, burdened with [the] responsibility
of important decisions! Good luck & all my love.

Indu
21st November

Still not posted this letter! One of the major nuisances of being lU is
being completely dependent for one’s everyday needs on the memory
and time of other people.

Bapu sent me a cable on the 10th, mentioning the ‘ceremony’. I
couldn’t quite get the meaning of it until your letter came and I found
that it was the ceremony of laying the corner-stone of the hospital.

From friends in Somerville has come the birthday gift of a book
on the Impressionists, with glorious colour prints of some of their
paintings. It is a joy to look at & I miss you for I would share those
colours and the beauty of it with you.

Much love, darling,
Indu

1- G.D.H. Cole: British economist and socialist

- Richard Evelyn Byrd American aviator and explorer. In 1939 he commanded the
Us. Antarctic Service, a government-sponsored expedition.

240

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

228

Brentford Hospital,
Brentford,
Middlesex,
24th November, 1939

Darlingest Papu,

I loved your long letter — ^but not all of it. What’s all this about getting
old? No one has any right to pretend he’s getting old when he’s only
just fifty — no one, that is, who has ever been young. The essentials of
youth belong to you for as long as you hke. What do the years matter?
You have been young always and even now, except for occasional
depressions which everybody has, you are younger in spirit than most
of us. You are a case of jeunesse qui suit, or if you prefer — vieillesse qiii
peut2 I am afiaid this myth of old age is vastly overdone in India and
I have always held strong views on the subject. And the other day, I
came across an article which said more precisely than I ever could just
what I thought. Do you mind if I quote?

Something whispers in the ear of every person over forty, ‘You
are getting old. You are not so good as you used to be.’ And
God help him if he Hstens. Youth says it, believing that it needs
to insist on that chance to make a place for itself. One’s own
lazy contemporaries say it to justify their own self-coddlings
and abandonment of effort. Under our prev ailin g notions the
first grey hair gives that magnificent excuse long sought by the
indolence of our natures. We forget that what fifty years of
sunshine and winter cold have done to our wrinkles means
nothing as to the man or woman inside and has often added an
interest and a beauty of power and character that was never
there in youth.

. . . This spirit of youth is a fine thing, but far less humane
[or] potentially joyous than the spirit of maturity. Glorify youth
and one glorifies whatever is the moment’s fashion. We are all
familiar with the piddling literary attempts of most great writers
in their youth. That out of such feeble cleverness finally emerges
original work of authentic power is little short of miraculous.

1 . You are a case of youth that knows, or if you prefer — old age that can.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

241

Yet we ignore such facts & idealise that one characteristic which
is our weakness and danger — the imitative and sentimental
restlessness of youth.

I have a letter from Edward Thompson. He writes: ‘Your father
svas an angel to me. He is a wonderful fellow; so boyish, and so drawing
every one’s eyes with affection and admiration. You should have seen
Inm atWardha! He runs like a boy and his face lights up with a boy’s
smile . . .’

The Chinese silks have not arrived yet, for the Thompsons did
not know my address & have written asking for it. They have sold
their Boar’s Hill house in Oxford and are now living in Bucks.

The German blockade is certainly a thing to be reckoned with —
more than twenty ships sunk this week — the mighty British Navy is
fast losing her minesweepers and destroyers. 200 German mines were
swept ashore last week. Hitler’s secret weapon is now said to be the
‘magnetic mine’. It is said to lie much deeper than the reach of a
minesweeper, attached to a needle-like thing which floats on the
surface but is too small to be noticed. As soon as a vessel comes into
contact with this needle, it draws up the mine and causes it to explode.

Lots of love, darling — keep well and forget those fifty years of
yours.

Arrivcderci}

Indu

229

[Aiiand Bhawan,
Allahabad]
2nd December, 1939

Darling Indu,

I returned yesterday from Muttra (what an awfiil way of spelling a
sweet sounding word like Mathura), and found your letter of the
19tli/21st Nov.^ awaiting me. I am so happy to learn that you had an
enjoyable birthday with plenty of flowers and fruit and sunshine —
not to mention chocolates.

1 Goodbye for the present.

2 Refers to letter No 227.

242

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

I liked my visit to Muttra. On my way there I spent a few hours at
Agra just to see the Taj on the night of the full moon — the Kartiki
Puwima. I like the Taj very much, not only because of its exceeding
beauty, but also because it takes me out of the present. Muttra again
was full of the atmosphere of a bygone age with its Krishna legends
and its delightful and melodious Braj-Bhasha.^ It was extraordinary
to notice how the peasantry were fiiU of this old culture and tradition.
In course of conversation, they would refer to some old story or quote
a hne from Tulsi Das.^ There is something in an old culture after all,
which gives poise and distinction to life.

Early one morning some of our party went to a neighbouring
well for a bath. This was situated amidst the fields and the peasant
owner or tenant came with his bullocks to draw out water from the
well for his fields. They use a big leather bucket called a mot. When
the first bucket came up our people wanted to start bathing. But the
peasant asked them to wait as the first lot of water was dedicated to
KanhaiyajP (what a sweet name this is). He said that he liked pouring
out the first five mot fuUs to Kanhaiyaji and other favourite divinities,
but in any event the first one should not be touched. Our people told
him that they were certainly not going to interfere with his old custom.
They were Congressmen and between the Congress and the peasants
there was sumati.'^ Yes, said the peasant, and immediately quoted a
famous line ofTulsi 'Dasjahan sumati tahan samptti nam — ^where there
is goodwill and cooperation, there is an abundance and variety of
wealth.

I regretted nothing so much in Muttra as my ignorance ofBraj-
Bhasha. I felt how cut off I was firom the life of the people and the
roots of their culture, and how much I had missed because of this.
And straightaway I resolved that when I have to put up with my next
period of enforced retirement I shall devote myself to the study of
Hindi and Urdu literature. After all, it is the language that is the closest
bond between people and is the mirror where one sees their minds
and hearts.

The other day Dhanno (Lady Rama Rau) came to see us with her
daughter Premi. Premi had grown up into a fine tall girl but India to

1. Regional variety of Hindi.

2. Tulsi Das: Hindi poet of medieval India who wrote the epic RamachariliiiMOS.

3. A variant of the name of Lord Krishna.

4. Goodwill.

• INDIRA COMES INTO HER OWN •

243

her was a foreign land. Her younger sister was even more alien in
India. Dhanno could not take her to various places as the sanitary
arrangements were not according to European standards!

It is somewhat expensive to send the N.H. cuttings by air but it is
worth it in order to keep you in touch with events here. I offered to
pay the Herald people the postage but very magnanimously they said
that they would not charge me as I was their most frequent unpaid
contributor! Very generous of them — only the ultimate burden of the
N.H. comes back to me! But if you like and if it amuses you, you can
yourself pay for this by sending good cuttings from newspapers for
reproduction in the Herald. Or sometimes, when you are much stronger
and better, you can write a brief essay on conditions in SAvitzerland in
wartime or anything else — the more informal the better, just like a
personal letter. You write good letters. But you must only do this for
the fun of it, if you like doing it. It is amusing to write once you get
into the hang of it.

Thank you for the cuttings about Byrd’s expedition. This kind of
thing is good and should be appreciated. My foreign papers have
started coming again but they come most irregularly and in batches. I
have been getting both Time and Life — ^both are gifts from friends in
America. After glancing through Time & Life I have been sending
them to Chand at Mussoorie. She loves these American weeklies.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

230

Les Prates,
Leysin,
Switzerland,
21st December, 1939

Darling Papu,

I have been wanting to write to you ever since I arrived here in
Leysin on the 16th. But the journey tired me out . . .

As you know, we came by plane to Paris. That was perhaps the
most tiring phase of the journey. We had booked seats on the eleven
0 clock plane — there are two services only these days. On the eve of
our departure, at about six p.m. on the 14th, our travelling agency

244

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

rang us up to say that our plane had been commandeered by the
military authorities, but that we could go by the earlier one. This
meant being at Airways House (nobody is allowed to go to the airport
on their own) at seven thirty a.m. It is a good hour’s drive to Victoria
from Brentford and at that hour of the morning it is pitch dark and
there is the early morning mist — ^into the bargain, it rained. So I had
to get up at five thirty a.m. & leave hospital at six fifteen. Driving in
the blackout is no fun at any time and the driver of my car was not
exactly pleased. ‘Where d’ye want to go?’ — ‘Airways House’ — ‘Don’t
know where it is! When d’ye have to be there?’ — ‘seven thirty’ —
‘Can’t possibly make it!’ But make it we did, only to have to wait
there until eight thirty. Then we jogged along to Heston, where I was
deprived of my identity card & ration book and was sternly reproved
for having left my gas mask behind! At the passport examination we
were each handed an important looking paper. Agatha very carefully
put ours away in her bag for safety. Later I wondered what it was &
she reluctantly brought it out again. This is what it said:

GOSSIP

will not help Britain while abroad if you —
run down the British war effort;

allege that British government organisations are bad,
muddled, and inept;

give the impression that Britain is defenceless or in danger;
talk thoughtlessly of military, aerial, or naval matters, even
if, in your opinion, what you say is harmless.

At the Paris office of Air France we found Nanu waiting. We took
a room in a hotel opposite the station & I was promptly put to bed
until we left by the eight o’clock Simplon Express. I had a good
night — these train sleepers are comfortable. From what we had heard
of the experiences of other people, we were not looking forward to
VaUorbe — the French frontier. But everything went fine & customs &
other officials did not even remind us of the war. When we thought
we had finished all the formalities, there came yet another knock on
the door, which was then opened by one of the quaintest persons 1
have ever seen. He might have been any age from fifty to 200 — his
face was so wrinkled & yet not at all old and it was capped by a most
peculiar furry affair. But all this I noticed later — the first thing that
struck me was his smile: ‘it was as long as a summer’s afternoon with

You

( 1 )

(2)

(3)

(4)

• INDIRA COMCS INTO HER OWN ♦

245

no teeth to stop its coming through’! Agatha & I lost all power of
speech and stared most rudely — not that a little thing like that could
disconcert the apparition. He bowed low and salaamed in the regular
Lucknow manner. Then he spoke: ‘I am the medical officer. Have you
any infectious disease?’ Another bow and salaam — exit.

Switzerland at last.

This is not a bad place at all — ^very neat and comfortable rooms,
very good food. 1 have rather an expensive room at the moment but I
hope to change soon. I have a balcony & a magnificent view of the
Dents du Midi. This view is reflected in my mirror inside the room,
so actually I have the Dents du Midi on both sides of me!

You would like Dr Rollier, I am sure. I do. And Agatha was most
impressed. 1 think she is writing to you at great length about all that
he told her & showed her, so I shan’t repeat it here. He wants me to
stay here for about three months, at the end of which time I shall be
transformed into a Diana! He said to me: ‘You are like a perfectly
good motor car whose engine & wheels and everything is quite in
order but there is no petrol so it cannot run; sometimes you can push
it a little way but not far. There is nothing wrong with you but you
have no muscular development & no strength to make your organs
run as smoothly as they can run. I do not want you fat as a goose, that
is only good for Christmas!!’

Bijju Chacha would approve of him, for he believes in exercises,
breathing and otherwise. Dr Rollier says my left lung is much smaller
than the right & nothing can be done until its size is increased by
breathing exercises. So would Shridhar Chacha approve of him: for
he believes in the sun. He told me to eat mostly those things which
grew in the sun.

But meanwhile I have to stay in bed for perhaps a month more.
Agatha got me a lovely pot of cyclamens, which I love, and
Mademoiselle Rollier (one of the Dr’s daughters who is at least 6 ft
tall) brought me a pot of maidenhair ferns. And I have a radio. So
things are not quite as tedious as they might have been. So far, the
acid voice of the German announcer from Bremen & Hamburg —
they call him ‘Lord Haw-Haw’ in England — and the B.B.C. news are
Illy only connection with the world outside. Listening to these two
news services bent on contradicting and making fun of each other —
how very ridiculous this wretched war seems!

246

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

22nd December

I couldn’t write any more yesterday for my bed was taken out on the
balcony and my fingers grew too cold to hold and direct a pen.

Mile Hemmerlin has sent me a whole heap of books & a little
box of delicious home-made biscuits — they are packed rather nicely
in a silvery box and every time Dr RoUier comes in, he says: ‘Don’t
eat too many chocolates!’

Dr Rolher comes in every other day on a ‘fiiendly’ visit & once a
week — Friday — officially. The doctor, or Monsieur le Professeur, as
he is called here, is a great believer in handwork as a potent help
towards better health, so it’s a good thing I learnt knitting before I
arrived here; else I should have had to do so here. Not far from here
is RoUier ’s ‘Factory cUnic’. Here the patients make slippers, jigsaw
puzzles, knitted articles, rugs and many other things, which the
government helps to seU — thus these patients are not only enabled to
pay something for their board & lodging & treatment but can also
support their families to some extent, in spite of being ill.

This year is coming to an end — ^what does 1940 hold for us? It
doesn’t look as if it is going to be very cheerful. I do not know when
this letter wiU reach you, but it brings Avith it my very best wishes for
1940.

Lots of love, darling,
Indu

Preface to Part Two

Part Two of this volume covers the letters exchanged between Indira
Gandiu and Jawaharlal Nehru from 1940 to 1962.

As I have suggested in my introduction, Indira Nehru’s stay in
Oxford as a young scholar in the late 1930s witnessed an extraordinary
maturing of her mind. She acquired, in this period, a substantial interest
in world affairs, particularly as they impinged upon the liberation of
India and the struggle between democracy and fascism. A brief spell
of illness, which obliged her to recuperate in a sanatorium in
Switzerland, deepened her introspection. The onset of the Second
World War compelled her to return to India.

By the early 1940s Indira Gandhi had grown into an individual of
depth and poise. In her marriage to Feroze Gandhi in August 1942,
and in motherhood afterwards, she found emotional enrichment and
fulfilment. She recorded in meticulous detail for her father each tender
moment of motherhood, as she watched the flowering of a young
life. The correspondence between Indira Gandhi and Jawaharlal
Nehru when both were in prison is particularly poignant. They were
lonely persons. Yet their minds were endowed with a rich interior
landscape. Father and daughter shared a passion for books on a wide
range of subjects. Above all, they loved the beauty of nature. One can
see in Indira Gandhi’s letters the making of the future crusader for
ecological conservation. In this, as m other respects, she was so much
ahead of her times.

The turn of events in 1946 brought Indira Gandhi and Jawaharlal
Nehru to Delhi. Jawaharlal Nehru was now drawn into high political
office and, from August 1947, he shaped the political destiny of India
as Prime Minister. Since father and daughter lived under the same
roof, the exchange of correspondence between them became
infrequent. However, the notes which Indira Gandhi now addressed
to Jawaharlal Nehru when she travelled to different parts of India, or
overseas, show her in the role of a political activist. She always wanted
to be near the scene of action, and she brought a penetrating intellect
to bear on a variety of issues. She also acted as the eyes and ears of her
father.

The 1950s served as a rewarding apprenticeship to power for Indira
Gandhi.Yet her involvement in politics did not impoverish the richness

250

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

of her inner life. As her letters written during these years show, even
when she dwelt upon pohtics the personal ties which bound father
and daughter together were reflected, again and again, in a chance
phrase or a stray reference. Such a fusion of the public and the private
worlds confers on these letters a distinctive quality. Indeed, the
correspondence bears witness not only to the depth of the relationship
between father and daughter but also to shared political and moral
values. Jawaharlal Nehru had already made his mark on history; Indira
Gandhi was destined to do so before long.

The Political Setting of the
Early 1940s

The year 1940 was a turbulent and eventful one in Indian politics.
When the British Government declared India to be a belligerent in
the war which had broken out between Great Britain and Nazi
Germany in September 1939, the leaders of the Indian National
Congress viewed such a declaration as unjustified, since the people
of India, whom they represented, had not been consulted before the
declaration of war. Indeed, the various Congress Governments which
had been constituted in the Provinces of British India in 1937 resigned
as a protest against the British move.

Among the leaders of the Congress, Mahatma Gandhi, Jawaharlal
Nehru, Sardar Patel and Maulana Azad, to mention only a few, there
was a feeling that the people of India were unequivocally opposed to
the unilateral action of the British Government, and they would
therefore seek to give expression to their resentment in an anti-
imperialist struggle. Consequently, at the annual session of the
Congress in Ramgarh in March 1940, a resolution was adopted, at
the initiative of Jawaharlal Nehru, urging the British Government to
commit itself to conferring independence upon India after the war,
and also to constituting a Provincial Government with the participation
of the nationahst leadership. A free India, it was pointed out, would
readily join hands with the British in fighting Nazi Germany.
Thereafter, there were several rounds of consultations between the
Congress leaders and the British Government, as a result of which
the Viceroy, Lord Linlithgow, issued a statement on 8th August, 1940,
holding out: 1) that his Executive Council would be expended to
include nationalist leaders, who would also be invited to serve on a
War Advisory Council; and 2) that the British Government would
refrain from vesting governmental authority over India in the hands
of a party which did not enjoy the confidence of all sections of Indian
society.

The leaders of the Congress considered the Viceroy’s statement
wholly unsatisfactory. Indeed, the statement constituted an open
invitation to the minorities to obstruct the attainment of independence
by India. As a result of this, a decision was taken to initiate a movement

252

♦ TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

of individual satyagraha in September 1940. This decision was taken
as an interim measure, since the adoption of a mass satyagraha called
for a period of intensive preparation before the signal for popular
assault on the British Raj could be given. As we shall see, such a
popular movement was actually initiated in August 1942, in the shape
of the famous ‘Quit India’ Movement.

Indira Gandhi was a little over twenty-two in January 1940. She
had last been with her father when she was in India between November
1938 and April 1939.

Section I
Homecoming

(1940-1942)

'' '♦

231

Les Frenes,
Leysin,
Switzerland,
2nd January, 1940

Darling Papu,

Dr Rolher has his own system of breathing & other exercises and, as
I am under his care, I think it is best to stick to his methods. At the
beginning of next week, I shall begin lying in the ‘position ventrale’ —
only a few minutes to start with — on my tummy with pillows
supporting the chest and the head held high.

I was weighed today; 38 kgs — that is just under 84 lbs. I ought, for
my height, to be at least 110 lbs!

Dr Schmidt, one of the Frenes doctors, was quite excited the other
day. His sister ivho lives in America sends him, more or Jess regularly.
Life. In the issue of Dec. 11th was an article ‘Nehru of India’ by John
& Frances Gunther. It had several pictures of the family too.

4th January

Tomorrow it will be exactly three weeks since I arrived, and still I am
just where I began. No one expects miracles but I must say it is very
discouraging — the more I stay in bed the weaker I feel and the less I
want to do anything. The days are most frightfully monotonous,
especially as there is no one to talk to — the patients are allowed to
pay visits to one another in the evenings, but they all have their families
with them.

Much love,
Indu

232

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
5th January, 1940

Darling Indu,

I am glad you like Leysin and Dr Rollier. I shall now eagerly look
forward to the transformation of Indira Nehru into a Diana.

I was in Amritsar a few days ago to attend a Scout mela and I had a

256

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

narrow shave in an accident which might have been serious. Punjab
crowds are . . . full of affection and enthusiasm but will not obsewe
any discipline, which is surprising as the Punjab is supposed to be a
military province.There were nearly 7000 Scouts from all India gadiered
there — ^both boys and girls — ^looking quite smart. Men and women
poured into the Scout area. They were made to line up outside a
huge field which was kept free for parade and various exercises.
Everything seemed to be well organised and there were barricades
and eight rows of Scouts to keep the crowds back. I arrived and went
into the centre of the field and suddenly the crowd rushed, broke all
barriers, swept aside the Scouts and filled the field. Over a hundred
thousand men and women, shouting slogans, full of enthusiasm,
surrounded me. It was impossible to move them away and the
programme for the day could not be started. I decided to get on
horseback and move about the surging crowds. A fine, big, spirited
horse was produced. It was wholly unsuitable as it was unused to
crowds. It shied continually and reared up on his hind legs. Suddenly
there was a rush by the crowd and the horse grew frightened and
reared up so much that it lost its balance and fell back. For a fraction
of a second I saw myself being crushed by the huge weight of the
beast.Visions of being a cripple for life rose before me. It was surprising
what a lot of images passed before my mind during that tiny fraction
of a second. Meanwhile instinct and old habit functioned and I just
managed to extricate myself as the horse fell to the ground. Then he
rolled a little and my foot was pressed by his body — not much,
otherwise it would have been crushed. The stirrup where the foot
had been an instant before was aU buckled up. I got up with some
pain in the foot but otherwise sound and immediately mounted the
horse again — to show ofi", I suppose, but partly also because walking
was a httle painful. The foot has almost recovered since then.

I went to Lahore for a day also and addressed a vast meeting there.
Whenever I go to Lahore I stay with Iftikhar-ud-Din^ (an Oxford
man) and meet many Muslim young men and women. It is surprising
how Mushm young women of the upper middle classes are taking to

1. Mian Iftikharuddin: eminent Punjab politician, member of Punjab Legislative
Assembly and President of Punjab Provincial Congress Committee; he left Congress
in 1945 and joined the Muslim League, and was for some time Minister for
Rehabilitation in Punjab, Pakistan. Later he formed the National Party along with
Abdul GhaffarKhan.

• HOMECOMING •

257

socialism, or at any rate think they are. But this theoretical approval of
socialism does not come in the way of the joys of life, which in Lahore
consists of the most inane and unsupportable round of parties and
dances.

Do you remember Sappho, the Great Dane babe at Betty’s place
in Bombay? The babe grew and grew and was about a year and a half
old last month. We were all tremendously fond of her and I looked
forward to seeing her and playing about with her whenever I went to
Bombay. Raja doted on her. Harsha and Ajit^ took all manner of
liberties with her. Suddenly the poor thing developed rabies and died
within two days. Betty and Raja were heartbroken. Just at this time
Nan, Chand, Tara & Rita were also there. So everybody in Betty’s
family & Nan’s have since had to take daily injections of some anti-
rabies serum. This has been a real tragedy. I don’t think I could keep
a dog. They die too soon.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

233

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
16th January, 1940

Darling Indu,

I have not written to you for about ten days. For nearly aU this time I
have been touring intensively in some of our north-western districts
of the U.R [United Provinces] — Aligarh, Bulandshahr, Meerut,
Muzaffarnagar, Saharanpur, Moradabad.

Our peasant masses depress me with their poverty but their
enthusiasm is catching. More and more I feel in tune with them rather
than with the listless and argumentative folk of the cities. I have even
begun to appreciate just a wee bit the peasant’s attachment to the soil.
The good earth has something solid, substantial and permanent about
It, which IS comforting in these days when everything else seems to
be fleeting. Wars may rage and decimate humanity, but the seasons
follow each other in regular succession, and the flowers bloom, and
the soil produces food, and the fields look peaceful and gay. I felt the

1 • Harsha Hutheesing and Ajit Hutheesing; the two sons of Krishna and G. P. Hutheesing

258

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

call of the good earth and the joy of seeing things grow out of this soil.

The districts I visited are relatively prosperous and compare very
favourably with our eastern districts Hke Gorakhpur and BaUia where
the poverty is extreme and the multitudes that gather are semi-naked.

The Jats are strong in these areas. They are perhaps more
passionately attached to the soil than any other group. Hefty, weather-
beaten and healthy looking, they are almost parts of the country'
landscape. Always when I go to these rural areas, I am pleasantly
surprised by the handsome types of humanity that I see.

On my way back I spent a few hours at Lucknow and a deputation
from the Uday Shankar Company,^ which was performing there,
[was] waiting on me and invited me to attend. I Hked the show but I
must confess that I am less impressed by it than I used to be. There
was a new item or rather series of items — the Rhythm of Life. This is
an ambitious theme. The conception is good and the execution of
parts was also not bad.

I can quite understand how boring it must be for you to keep in
bed most of the time. But I suppose that after the initial months you
will gradually be getting up more and more. Lying in bed makes one
weaker and more Hstless but it is meant to give rest to the lungs so
that they might get strong.

Your weight is not Ukely to go up much in bed. It is only the first
month in bed that pushes up the weight and you were in bed at
Brentford for a long time. When you are up and about, the weight
will soar up.

Modern conditions are very upsetting as they provide excitements
and sensations in quick succession and prevent an equilibrium from
developing. Hence the great value of restful and uneventful periods.
Do not worry or feel discouraged. That is not Hke you.

My foot has not yet recovered firom the sHght injury received at
Amritsar. We age. I cannot judge about myself but I am often surprised
to see others around me showing signs of age. Nan’s hair is almost all
grey now. Betty is very matronly.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

1. Uday Shankar pioneered the revival of classical dance forms in India, and combined
them with elements of modern choreography. He founded a company to promote
liis art.

• HOMECOMING ■

259

234

Amnd Bhawan,
Allahabad,
23rd January, 1940

Darling,

This morning I returned finm Wardha. I feel somewhat out of place
here for the moment. The All India Women’s Conference is filling
the picture and our house will be, and partly is already, full of the
distinguished delegates. The president, Mrs Hamid Ali^ (plus
husband). Ram Rajwade,^ Amrit Kaur, Sarojini Naidu, Padmaja, Papi,
Mridula^ and possibly some others will be staying here. The conference
camp IS m Durbhanga Castle and over a hundred delegates will put
up there. There is tremendous bustle and activity and women getting
excited and shouting at each other. A week of this.

The Gunthers have sent me a lovely book — The Last Flower by
James Thurber.'* I almost felt like ordering a copy for you as you are
sure to enjoy it. But in these war days it is difficult to send books. In
one of the recent numbers of Life some ofThurber’s pictures and text
are reproduced. I am enclosing these two pages. They will give you
some idea of the book.

What do you do for books? I suppose you brought a supply "with
you and then MUe Hemmerhn sent you some. It is easier for you to
make direct arrangements with booksellers in England than for me
to do so.

Today I received the number of Life containing Gunther’s article
on ‘Nehru of India’ and the close-up picture, about which you wrote
to me.^

The Memorial Hospital^ building is growing up rapidly here.

Chand,Tara & Pdta are here and I Hke to play about with them.
They are jolly kids.

1 • Begum Shareefah Hamid Ali; prominent social reformer, wife of A. Hamid Ah, civil
servant

2. Rani G. Laxmibai Rajwade: chairman of the sub-committee on women’s rights.
National Planning Committee of the All India Congress Committee, 1938.

3. Mndula Sarabhai: member of the Sarabhai family of Ahmedabad, who was active in
the freedom struggle.

4. James Grover Thurber- American humorist and cartoomst.

5 Refers to letter dated 2 January 1940 (No 231).

The Kamala Nehru Memonal Hospital

260

• I wo ALONl.. TWO H'OCTHF.R •

Can 1 send something to you — magazines or anything ehc which
will keep you in touch with India and things Indian?

low,
Your loving.

2^5

Th;a!!i/

AlUiUihJ.

7lh Pebnuty. !94(^

Darling,

Slieikh Abdullah of Kashniir* is stavnng with us. 1 like hitn. Me prcsH"‘
me to fulfil my old promise to go to Kashmir. How 1 wish 1 cmilvl. h
is twenty-four years since 1 was there. But 1 have no heart to go just bv
myself.

Tliere is a young Kashmiri girl here freshly cotne from Kaslinitn
Her husband works in Sw'araj Bhawan. She feels so homesick alreaily
and talk.s of the almond-blo.ssoms that nui.st be coming out in ail theii
beauty at this time in Kashmir, Spring must be ca'eping in there after
the hard winter . . , Here in Allahabad we approach tlie hot stiininer.

lose.

Your loving.
Papa

236

Ixysbh
SmnaiM'J,
9ill lxl>rii,1!f.

UarlingC't Bapu,

What groat jtw your leticrs bting to me! To the gloom itisl darkttc.o
my mind each letter w rather like the single flower of'fbm'b'Ti
p.ir.ible — a nsewertger of hope, an a'siu.uue th.u M.>rncrlmrg i’ there,
eve?! in the miibt td'dus darkness, osi which suic e.nt build anew Af:d

t I, j2'*> •»: Kj*

Ifrf s'J C-l.t-rf

• HOMncOMING •

261

then they bring you close, so close to me, as though the vast Indian
Ocean were only a pond, and all the lands between just stepping
stones.

Wliat is it that has so depressed me? I don’t really know. It is not
just the lying in bed, nor even the being so lonely, or this truly wintry'
weather. Most of all, it is, I expect, this complete inactivity — physical
as well as mental. For, as you know, I was not allowed any books or
even magazines out of England. Nor can they be posted out here
unless the book is a new one and is sent by a bookseller who is in
possession of an export licence.

Dr Roche of Montana has been a true friend although I have
never met him. Every week he sends me regularly, or at least as regularly
as he himself gets them, the Tributte, New Statesman & Nation, Reynolds
News and any other English paper that has come his way and he
thinks might interest me. From Geneva, from friends of Agatha’s,
come the Reader’s Digest and the Manchester Guardian weekly and once
some novels.

From Mile Hemmerlin, I have now procured the new edition of
Gliwpscs. In London, I was one of the very few Indians that I know of
who did not receive a complimentary copy. So this is really the first
proper look I have had at it — earlier I had a brief glimpse at Agatha’s
copy. It will give a sort of continuity to my reading, for I find that
reading a lot of newspapers & short stories one after the other is most
unsatisfactory.

Nearly every week there is a new discovery that will in course of
time change our way of hving. And because one never hears of the
years of research and trial and failure that have gone before it, it seems
rather like the waving of a fairy’s wand. At the moment I am especially
excited about the stroboscope and Nylon. You have probably heard
of them. The stroboscope is known as the ‘lamp that freezes motion’.
Through its rays you can not only see each drop in a waterfall
suspended in the air but also you can make it move backwards &
upw'ards! Which means that no movement on earth is now too fast to
be photographed and hence studied in all its details. Fascinating, isn’t
It? Meanwhile Nylon is already on the market. It is a material made
from srater, air & coal — in a word, ‘ersatz’ at its best. It is elastic, strong,
transparent or opaque and never loses its shape unless heated above
boiling point. It can be made into anything from tooth brush bristle
to women’s sheer stockings. Furthermore, it is cheap and lasting and
beautiful to look upon. Hence it is thought that it presents a very'

262

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

serious rival to silk and [thus] to Japan’s trade.

Even as I have been writing, the dirty muddy litde village of Leysin
has been transformed into a fairy land Christmas card. For it has been
snowing, oh, so hard. Everything is all white & beautiful again
With all my very best love, darling, and special thoughts too.

Indu

237

Les Frines,
Leysin,
Switzerland
1 7th February, 1940

Darling Papu,

I am feeling much better these last days — ^mentally, that is.That dreadful
depression has lifted somewhat — maybe as a result of reading the
Glimpses] I read a bit everyday while doing my ‘position ventrale’.
Physically there is no visible change.

1 8th February

It’s been snowing for days and still the soft white flakes flutter down
endlessly. Already on my balcony there is a good three-inch layer.
But it is not very cold. When it is really cold, you have but to throw a
handful of water on the ground or the window for it to freeze
immediately into a most intricate and lovely design of hundreds of
ice particles.

Two months in Leysin, Four and a half months in bed. When I
first arrived here. Prof. Rollier himself suggested the time limit of
three months at Les Frenes as being the time required to set me up
on my feet strongly. I suppose the three months have been extended —
by how much, I do not know. If only I could see or feel, or that at least
the doctor could see, any improvement — then staying in bed or
anything else would not matter. If — ^if.

The way they squeeze money out of you in this country is nothing
short of scandalous. Those litde things that most patients need at one
time or another but in such minute quantities that in no other country
would a hospital dream of charging for them cost money. For instance
one teaspoon liquid paraffin costs one Swiss franc! The same price as
a pot of tea! My weekly bill comes to an average of 180 Frs.

• HOMECOMING •

263

In three days there is ‘La vente RoIIiers’,’ a charity sale for the
poorer patients. Madame Rollier has been to see us all & given us a
pile of embroidery to do for it. And so these last days I have not done
much else.

Don’t be depressed, darling — I think it transfers itself to me. And
do, do look after yourself

Much love,
Your,
Indu

238

Amiid Bhawan,
Allahabad
22nd Fcbmary, 1940

My darling.

Your last letter of Feb. 9th^ has put me out somewhat. It cannot be
too cheerful of course resting all the time, and this terrible cold which
you have been having must be depressing. But to suffer from lack of
books and papers is something that never struck me. 1 know well
how I would feel if I had to do without them. I could bear almost
anything but that. 1 never thought that there would be much difficulty
in getring books from England. Ever since I got your letter three days
ago 1 have been trying to find books from the library which I might
send you. Then I went to Kitabistan.^ There was not much to choose.
Still I picked up a few odd books and these were sent to you by
parcel post today. I hope they reach you. One never knows what
happens to letters and parcels during these war days.

1 enclose a list of the books sent. I have not read several of them
but they seemed interesting . . . Capek"* is always worth reading. The
Oxford Book of English Verse is a very good collection. Kropotkin’s^
book is an old classic — perhaps heavy reading but still often
e.xtraordinarily interesting. I have added Arnold’s^ two little books:

1. ‘The RoUier Charity Sale’.

2. Refers to letter dated 9 February 1940 (No. 236).

2 A publishing house in Allahabad.

Karel Capek: Czech journalist, playwright and writer.

3 1 etcr Alexeisich Kropotkin; Russian geographer, revolutionary and social philosopher.
Sir Edwin Arnold: English poet and journalist; Tlic Ligla of Asia was a poem on the life
and teachings of Buddha.

264

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

TIte Light of Asia and The Soug Celestial.

It must be pretty bad for you if you have to faU back on Gliwpses of
Histor}>\ Somebody would have to give me a prize if he wanted me to
read it again. It was bad enough to revise it. I refused to read the
proofs.

Has not Dr RoUier suggested some hand-work for you? I thought
that was a part of his treatment and a very good part too. I almost felt
like sending you a takli.^ I have been spinning off and on recendy,
that is when I am in Allahabad, and I find it very soothing. You can
knit as you did in England. Or play about with cardboard. I hear
children in the Basic Schools here make delightful boxes and other
things out of cardboard. It is a fascinating pastime.

But I do hope that by the time this reaches you, you will be moving
about a litde more. Spring will be nearing then and the breath of it
will invigorate you. I wish I could transfer some might from my body
to yours. I have been growing disgustingly plump. Perhaps I exaggerate,
but the tendency is there and I am worried about it. Indian clothes,
both dhoti and pyjamas, adjust themselves to any size of waist and one
does not notice changes in its size. When I went to China in Augyst
last, I put on European clothes and I discovered immediately that all
was not well. The other day in Bombay I weighed myself and I was
horrified to find that I had gone up to 143 pounds. Tliis was 3 lbs
more than I have ever been. Another weigliing machine a fortnight
later gave me 135 pounds as my weight, which was much more
satisfactory. Probably both the machines were wrong. Anyway I have
had a fright and after a long gap, I have taken to some kind of physical
exercises again when I am in Allahabad.

I have seen again and again the technicolor photos of you that
Feroze sent me. They are very fine and I love looking at them.

Makklii Atal’s” marriage with Ganga Raina is coming off here in
two or three days and there are numerous parties and feasts. The
world may go bang but an Indian marriage must take place in the old
style, with aU the usual waste. I never feel more out of place than at
these feasts and indeed I hardly ever go there. But on this occasion I
must put in an appearance once at least, lest all manner of wrong

1. Spindle.

2. Jai Kumar Atal; .served in the Indian Foreign Service; married Ganga Rama, the
granddaughter of Raja Narendranath R^ina, a distinguished civil servant of Lahore,
whose daughter, Rameshwari, was married to Bnjlal Nehru.

• HOMECOMING •

265

political inferences might be drawn.

Why did you not get a copy of Glimpses'? This is absurd. It was not
necessary for me to mention this to Krishna. He ought to have known.
But as a matter of fact I sent him a list of persons to whom
complimentary copies should be sent and your name topped the list.
Please ask Krishna to have a copy sent to you or to Mile HemmerUn.

In reading any serious book (I am not referring to Glimpses) it
would be a good thing if you took copious notes. This slows down
the pace of reading and allows time to think and absorb the book.
Othenvise the book leaves only a fleeting impression and too many
fleeting impressions, one after the other, create confusion. I always
remember that Erasmus (or some other big scholar of the Middle
Ages) had a library of only fifty or sixty volumes. And yet he was one
of the wisest and most learned of men.

I am vasdy interested in your account of the stroboscope and of
Nylon. I know nothing about them but your account of them is
exciting. All our day-to-day politics seem so silly and childish when
such discoveries are made, which might change human life so much.

I wish you could send me some more information about these two —
that IS if you can easily do so.

It is almost a year now, or at least ten months, since I saw you. It
seems an age, and I long to have a gfimpse of you again. Every little
while, whether I am at work or in a crowd, my mind wanders away
and centres itself round you, and the desire to be near you almost
overwhelms me. You are lonely at Leysin. There is also a lonefiness in
the midst of crowds. If there is no other way, I might not be able to
restrain myself fi-om packing up a suitcase and taking a plane to Europe!

And now to other work. So goodbye for the present, carissima mia,
and may it be well with you.

Love,

Papu

ENCL.

List of Books

k Literature and Society — David Daiches
2. Tlie Mother — Karel Capek

Week-End Caravan — S. HiUelson
4. Ding Dong Bell — ^Walter De La Mare

266

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

5. The Oxford Book of English Verse 1250-1918 — Sir Arthur
Quiller-Couch

6. The Dragon Book — E. D. Edwards

7. The Light of Asia — Sir Edwin Arnold

8. The Song Celestial — Sir Edwin Arnold

9. Ur of the Chaldees — Sir Leonard Woolley, Pelican Books

10. Mutual Aid — Prince Peter Kropotkin, Pelican Books

239

Anand Bhatmt},
Allahabad,
27th February, 1940

My darling one,

I am happy to learn that you were feeling better and that cod liver oil
and phytine, qui forme la partie essentielle du principe phosphore,^ etc., are
doing you good. I am sure that Avith the coming of somewhat milder
weather you will gain in appetite and weight. I do not suppose you
will ever be a heavy weight or wall have to indulge in Hay diet^ or
something else in order to slim. You are not made that way. But your
weight should be at least 100 pounds. It will be that presently when
you move about.

You complain of your pen. I am myself feeling very sad at present
for I have just lost my favourite one. I guard nothing so jealously as
my fountainpens, especially those that I Hke. But at this afternoon’s
tea party I was giving autographs and something unusual happened
to it. It has disappeared.

I am not depressed, Cara mia, although the world, as well as my
own particular world, goes all awry. I have become completely behaya?
If you want to know what depression is you should read Krishna’s"*
letters to me. He works himself up terribly and, bad as the world is,
imagines all manner of things which are worse. And then, with many
apologies, he gives me a lot of good advice, not knowing how I would

1. Which forms the essential part of phosphorus.

2. Hay diet: fashionable diet regime in the 1930s.

3. Shameless.

4. Refers toV.K. Krishna Menon.

• HOMECOMING •

267

take it all. I like him of course to give the good advice. It helps. But I
\vish he would not get so excited. It is not good for him. His nerves
have never been his strong point.

The Atal-Raina wedding has taken place with all pomp and
circumstance. It was the first Kashmiri wedding I attended since my
own! Puphi’s wedding in 1921 was not a full-blooded Kashmiri one
and apart fiom that I have attended no other similar function. Chhoti
Puphi’s was a simple registration ceremony. I was glad I went as this
enabled me to see the new generation. Children whom I knew long
ago were grown-up boys and girls and young women. The picture in
nVj' mind had remained static and it was surprising for me to discover
how they had grown. They looked an attractive crowd. Ganga looked
very pretty in her wedding dress but exactly like a doU.

Cheers! Upadhyaya has discovered my pen. So aU is well. You will
notice the change in the writing.

I have gone through vast numbers of odd papers and destroyed
them or filed them. Indeed my room has undergone a spring cleaning
and I have even rearranged my books. I started doing this rather
casually one evening after dinner and went on and on till two thirty
a.m. At that attractive and witching hour the floor of my room was
full of books and papers lying in complete disorder! The next day
was devoted to arranging them.

I must go now. A hurried dinner and then to the station.

All my love,
Papu

240

Amnd Bhawan,
Allahabad,
2nd March, i940

Darling Indu,

1 have come back from Patna. The Working Committee passed only
one resolution for the Congress. I enclose a copy of this.^

The resolution, subsequently adopted at die annual session of the Congress at
^mgarh, urges the Bntish Government to commit itself to conferring independence
“Pon India after the war, and also constituting a Provincial Government with the
pitticipanon of the nationalist leadership.

268

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Apart from political work, I visited a very interesting private
collection in Patna. It was surprising to find a Marwari businessman
developing into an art collector. He lives in a lovely house by the
riverside and he has gathered together many fascinating articles,
especially a fine collection of old Chinese jade. There are good
examples of old Sevres and Gobefins. A part of the dinner service of
Marie Antoinette, a writing cabinet of Henry II, King of France, very
beautiful Arabic, Persian manuscripts, old German statuettes, shawls,
a piece of old Dacca muslin ten yards weighing 714 tolas^ — just imagine
the gossamer fineness of it! And so many other things which I had
hardly time to see. He has also built a small but very deUghtful guest-
house overlooking the river Ganga.

After a few days I shall have to return to Behar for the Congress
which is being held at Ramgarh in Chhota Nagpur. This . . . [place] is
hilly and beautiful. So I have decided to take two days off and motor
slowly through Chhota Nagpur just before the Congress.

You are always in my thoughts and I imagine you growing stronger
and stronger — a real Diana.

Love,

Papu

241

Les Praxes,
Leysiti,
Switzerlatid,
3rd March, 1940

Papu, you great darling!

How very thoughtful of you to send all those books! As a matter of
fact I ought to have exerted myself in that direction long ago but most
books are so expensive and at this distance I found it difficult to choose
the ones I wished to buy. However, about a week and a half ago, I did
order some books from Blackwell’s in Oxford (I have an account
with them);

Laski’s The Danger of Being a Gentleman
Vera Brittain’s Testament of Friendship

1. One tola is equal to ten grams.

• HOMECOMING •

269

D.N. Pritt’s Must the War Spread? a Penguin Special
Gallocha’s The Chosen Few — a pamphlet
T.S. Eliot, Waste Land & other poems
Stephen Spender, Poems

So far I have not heard from Blackwell’s. Thanks so much for your
lot. I do hope they arrive safely, all of them, and soon.

I am so glad you liked the colour pictures. As a matter of fact I had
them taken specially for you. The original intention was to have them
printed in England — the things you have now are the negatives —
and to send you the prints. But this is rather an expensive process; 4
sh per copy! The best way to see them is either through an ordinary
projector, in which case you have to have a screen as well, by the way.
I wonder if the old Pathe projector that used to lie about in Anand
Bhawan will do. I suppose not. The other way is through a special
gadget which I looked at in Lucerne. In S-witzerland it costs 50 francs —
at the present rate of exchange, nearly Do you think it is worth
buying? If so, I’U ask the local photographer to procure one.

I have two lots of hand-work going at the same time but I don’t
get along very fast nowadays; almost aU the morning & afternoon I
have to he on my tummy, resting on my elbows. In this position I
find It difficult to do anything but read — though now I am practising
writing letters as well. Between four & four thirty p.m. I get up —
since this last fortnight. I go for a short walk, walking very very slowly
for about fifteen to thirty minutes, & then sit either with the Nanavatis
next door or in the lounge downstairs until six p.m.

Since I have been getting up, 1 have gained 700 grams: just over VA
Ibs.Total gain since arrival two and a half months ago equals 2^/s lbs!
Yesterday when Dr RoUier came I asked him about how long I should
have to stay on at Les Frenes, since my three months would be up on
the 15th. ‘Encore quelques mots' — some more months still — ^was the
reply, whatever that may mean! So that’s that.

I miss you so much and long to see you and to be near you. But
even when all these wretched months here are over, I shall have to
stay in the mountains in India for about two years. There is no such
thing as a comfortable hotel in India, except in the big cities, and I
know of no one who could come & set up house for me for that long
period. Last year we saw how very difficult & complicated it was to
stay up in Almora even for one and a half months. Puphi was eager to
be back home in Bombay & there was aU the trouble over the servants.

270

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Mrs Nanavati here suggests that I go and stay with them, for she has
to keep Mr Nanavati in the hills too. But her idea of mountains are
Devlali, or at most, Mahableshwar. Dr Bhandari thinks I ought to stay
in Kashmir during the whole period, not once descending into the
plains. The only person I can think of who is more or less free is Nani
and I could hardly expect her to go for walks with me. Can you
suggest something? Even if the ‘quelques mois' means four months —
that takes us to July. I should then like to go to England just to collect
my belongings & then sail towards the end of August.

Nylon is just a small part in this new artificial world which the
chemists are bringing into being. And what great strides they have
taken these last twenty years. At the end of the Great War, as Dr Stine
of the Du Pont Co. points out, ‘sheep, plants, & worms supplied the
fibers for our textiles. Bone, hides, tusks, horn, the saps and barks of
trees, the excretions of insects & animal life and countless other
products as ancient as commerce filled motor trucks & freight cars
and the holds of ships, just as they made up the burdens of caravans
in the days of Marco Polo.^ We were building and designing better
homes, but of the same materials — stones, brick and wood — of which
homes had been made for thousands of years. We were wearing the
same clothing that our grandfathers wore, merely cut to a new style
& woven by machine instead of by hand.’ In India this is where we
still stand. But in Europe & America things have been changing slowly
but very surely. And this is not in spite of wars but because of them,
and foreign trade, embargoes, tariffs and even occasional scarcity of
and lack of uniformity of raw materials. And now, every few days, in
newspapers we read of yet another ‘miracle’ from this or that great
chemical laboratory — ‘wool’ from milk; alcohol, rubber and false teeth
from gas; liquorice from old tree stumps — or a new way to poison
grasshoppers. Man has been imitating nature and yet you cannot call
these things that he has produced mere imitation, for they are not
only quite different articles even in their chemical compositions, but
in many ways superior to the natural product. Thus we can now
make true daylight and by using a compound of iodine & quinine in
coating a glass take away the glare from it, even from bright sunshine!

1. Marco Polo (1254-1324); Italian traveller; journeyed to China, Sumatra, India and
Persia; captured by the Genoese and imprisoned for a year at Genoa (1298), where he
dictated to a fellow prisoner the story of his travels, published under the tide of 77ic
Book of Marco Polo.

• HOMECOMING •

271

‘Polaroid’ is the name of this new material. It is just a film of tiny
needle-shaped crystals containing iodine and quinine, all lying parallel
and fixed between two sheets of glass or transparent plastic. One can
look through several thicknesses of a Polaroid sheet if they are on
top of the other, or m a roU. But if a corner of the sheet is turned up,
the parallel slots are crossed and no light may pass through & Polaroid
becomes completely opaque. Polaroid is used in spectacles, reading
lamps, camera filters, etc — also for motor car headlights, in which
case it helps considerably in making night driving safer.

Yet another example of man outwitting — or rather, improving on —
nature is glass. Nature made obsidian, or glass, in volcanoes. It was in
chunks. Now man spins it; from a common glass marble he can
unwind a ninety-mile filament, finer than spiderweb; or he can twist
it and make it as strong as piano wire.

Insects may eat ordinary sawed boards. But man can now stop this
waste. He can take trees or old stumps, digest them, recover the fibre,
and rearrange it to make his own boards that cannot split or stain or
rot.

No less wonderful is ‘Lucite’, a new addition to the plastic family.
Through Lucite, light flows like water in a pipe, it is even carried
around a bend! Lucite instruments are mostly used in surgery &
dentistry, to illuminate body and oral cavities without the risk of
burning the patient, for the light coming through the rod is quite
cold!

I must stop or I’U go on and on, for the story of the chemical
industries is not the least fascinating and wonderful amongst all the
marvels of this world of ours.

Heaps & heaps of love,
Indu

242

Les Frenes,
Leysin,
Switzerland,
9th March, 1940

Darling Papu,

I have just been reading — in the National Herald — ^your article on
Russia & the Finnish war. Also the use that is being made, in England,

272

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

of your statements on the subject. You seemed to be shocked equally
by the Russo-German Pact and the war on Finland. And yet, doesn’t
the responsibility of both rest heavily on these eight years of British
foreign policy? At Munich, England and France proved definitely on
which side they stood. Russia’s policy of collective security having
failed, she retired into her pre-Litvinov^ isolation and her chief
preoccupation was bound to be how to keep herself out of the
impending European war. (Hence the advance into the Baltic.) The
Russo-German Pact was certainly not a change of front, since
Germany primarily asked no more of Russia than that this isolation
should continue. And the pact has not made any difference to the
Soviet Union’s condemnation of Nazism and Imperialism — ^viz
Molotov’s^ speech in November, or the Manifesto of the Commumst
International on the present war. As to Finland, you agree that the
Soviet Union’s demands were justified. Why, then, did the war come
as such a shock to you? Did you expect the Soviet Union, after her
demands had been rejected at the instigation of the Allies, to sit back
& say no more about it until the whole war should be directed against
her? For such was — is still — the intention of the Allies, as the British
press is at no pains to conceal.

All this talk of poor Finland makes me sick. Just because a country
is small in size, do the crimes of its Government lessen also and does
its repression & totalitarianism likewise become softer & more
bearable to its people & the people of the world?

Darling, don’t bother about my fits of depression. They come &
go and don’t really matter one bit.

With lots & lots of love.
Your,
Indu

1 . Maxim Maximovich Litvinov: Soviet statesman and diplomat; as Foreign Minister,
1930-9 he was in favour ofa joint front with the democratic countries in the 1930s;
Soviet Ambassador to U.S., 1941-3.

2. Vyacheslav Mikhailovich Molotov: Soviet statesman and politician; Prime Mmister,
1930-41, and Foreign Minister, 1939-49, 1953-6.

• HOMECOMING •

273

243

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
11th March, 1940

Darling,

Your letter of the 20th February’ has just come. It does not make
cheerful reading. I long to help you or to do something for you but I
feel so helpless. Not only are you far finm me, with a major war coming
in the way, but otherwise too I am hardly capable of even advising.

Thinking about you so often, it has struck me how little we have
been together during these years, especially since 1930. You were a
babe in arms when I became entangled in non-cooperation and the
bke and for some years I saw you irregularly. Then we were together
in Geneva for some months before you went to Chesieres. From
1930 onwards I was often in prison and you were first at the Poona
school and then at Santiniketan. Later Switzerland, Bristol, Oxford,
etc. You came to India in 1937 and I went to Europe in 1938. Again
you came to India for a few months but even here you were mosdy at
Almora. It is almost a year since you went.

Long ago when you were at Mussoorie and I was in Allahabad, I
tned to fill the gap created by your absence by writing to you those
letters which came out later as a little book. I continued this practice
because it soothed me and pleased me and supplied something that I
lacked. I seldom thought of writing books, I was thinking of you. But
books resulted.

During all these years of separation and thinking of you, you came
very close to me, or rather the image I made of you became almost part
of me. But then that was a creature of my thought. You were far away.

I moved about in crowds, my days filled with incessant activity.
The crowds gave something to me of value but they took a lot out of
me. Gradually I came to realise that while perhaps I understood crowds
a little, I did not understand individuals. Probably this deficiency,
which distressed me, was innate in me and had Httle to do with the
crowds or my activity.

I reabsed with something of a shock how little one person really
knows another, and how often those that are nearest and dearest to us

1- Letter not traceable.

274

• TWO alone, two together •

are almost as strangers to us. I had read this somewhere in French
poetry and hardly realised its significance. This knowledge, with all
its disturbing consequences, came to me. I had learnt much in the
passage of years, but I had failed in the hard test of life. I had proved
incompetent and life is hard on the incompetents. The success that
had apparently come to me and made me known to large numbers
covered a failure in much that counts in the life of the individual.

Public and private life act and react on each other, and this sense
of failure has pursued me in almost all I do. With this lack of faith in
myself, how can I advise anyone? What right have I to interfere in
another’s life? I have not made my own a brilliant success and aU my
good intentions, or so I imagined they were, have not prevented me
often from making a mess of things. In my pride I thought that I
could do great things, but life has humbled me and shown me the
error of my thought.

So, my darling, I am a poor kind of person to seek advice from.
Everything that I can possibly give you is yours for the asking, but do
not seek advice from me for my mind is disturbed and lacks clarity.

I had written to you that I intended going by car to Ramgarh from
Patna. Now aU that is off and I am staying on in Allahabad till the last
moment, that is the 14th night. This is at the bidding of Maulana Abul
Kalam Azad, our new President. He has written his presidential address
in Urdu and he wants me to translate it into English. I am no good at
this job and have never done any translation work — except from Latin
in school. Yesterday I spent about eight hours over it, wrestling with
Maulana ’s graceful and flowery Urdu.

Maulana is a curious type, very attractive. He reminds me very
forcibly of eighteenth-century Rationalists and French Encyclopaedists.'
That does not mean that he is reactionary but he is out of touch with
many modern developments. Maulana has got a mind like a razor
which cuts through a fog of vague ideas — only it functions in the
atmosphere of eighteenth-fit early nineteenth-century Europe. It is
always a pleasant surprise to realise that a person whose education

1. Encyclopaedists: the collaborators in the 35-volume Encyclopaedia published under
the direction of Diderot and d’Alembert between 1751 and 1776. Contributors
incJudedVbltaire.Montesquieu.J.J.Rousseau and other briUiant writers and embodied
the philosophical spirit of the eighteenth century, its attempt to give a rational
explanation of the universe being marked by a love of truth and contempt for
superstition.

• HOMECOMING •

275

has been entirely a religious one, and who is steeped in Muslim
religious lore should be so rational and keen-minded. If he had had
the chance to learn well one or more European languages and had
thus come more in contact with modern thought, he would have
been a very remarkable person. Even now he tries to grapple with
these problems and succeeds more than many others.

You might have heard that one of the Imperial Airway liners
disappeared somewhere en route to Europe from India. This was
carrying mails and it appears that these mails included a ;4^50 remittance
to your bank. I think I wrote to you about this. It is not certain yet
whether this remittance order has been lost or not. Anyway I have
asked Bachhraj to send you another ^50 immediately.

I have sent you during the last week or two some new pictures of
mine. They were recently taken and I thought they might interest
you. You can pass them on to others. One of them was taken in my
room. I was sitting at my writing table, as I am doing now. So much of
my life is spent at this table that this picture is characteristic.

All my love to you, my dear one.
Your loving,
Papu

244

Les Frenes,
Leysin,
Switzerland,
12th March, 1940

Darling Papu,

Your two letters — of Feb. 27th, March 2nd* arrived together last
evening, also the Working Committee resolutions.

And well may Krishna be depressed. There is cause enough. In
the B.B.C. news last evening we learnt of Chamberlain’s announcement
in the House that Great Britain & France will help Finland to their
utmost capacity.^ So the war with Russia that England has been wanting.

t- Refers to letters No. 239 and No 240.

• On 11th March Chamberlain announced that the Allies would respond to Finnish
appeals for help against the Russian invasion but peace was signed in Moscow on
12th March and hostilities between Russia and Finland ceased on 13th March. The
Finns handed Hango to the Russians on 22nd March.

276

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

& preparing for, these many months is upon us and once England is
in, India will be automatically in and there will be yet another occasion
for all the Maharajahs to show their loyalty and generosity and
abhorrence of aggression & inhumanity’! Well may we be depressed —
this is a fight that we have long expected, and now that it has come we
are ill-prepared to face it. The National Govt, is not fighting against
one Mr Stalin’s aggression but against the liberties and rights and the
restricted semblance of power for which the lower classes have
sacrificed and struggled and in spite of many defeats, advanced step
by step, not today nor yesterday but through hundreds of years.

When I am feeling particularly fed up, there come to my mind,
the last words of Mayakovski:^

Futile to pass in review
the sorrows
the misfortunes
and mutual wrongs.

Be Happy!

By the way, in those ‘Agfa-colour’ pictures, did you notice the
flowers? They are so small that it is difficult to photograph them except
in a close-up. But in one or two pictures, I believe, you can see marsh
marigolds and gentians. Surely, all these flowers exist in Kashmir?
They ought even to be in Almora, if climate is anything to go by. And
yet one never hears of them, nor are they used in designs for wood
carving & embroidery as the lotus & rose & iris are in Kashrmr. I
wonder why? Is it because, in India as so often in the hotter countries,
most flowers are so big and bright and gaudy that these small, delicate
and modest heralds of spring are passed by unnoticed?

I suppose the Ramgarh Congress will mean a family reunion, or
isn’t Chhoti Puphi coming with Rajabhai? She writes to me, ‘To me
it seems rather futile staying on in Switzerland’ and ‘I hear from a
friend that Leysin is not a very [pleasant?] place’. What does she
imagine I am doing here? I can’t think — ^perhaps going the round of
parties, such as form the social life of the ‘elect’ in India.

Lots of love — darling Papu,

Your,

Indu

1. Vladimir Vladimirovich Mayakovski: Russian poet and playwright, identified with
the futurist school. He committed suicide in 1930.

• HOMECOMING •

Til

245

Ramgarli,
19th March, 1940

Darling,

Your letter of the 3rd March^ did reach me at Ramgarh. Soon after I
had to go to the opening session of the Congress and there many
adventures befell all of us. It was a magnificent sight. An enormous
arena, well filled with colourful people, with artistic gates leading
into it. At the back were low hills and a small river gurgled at their
foot. Dark clouds covered the sky. They were threatening, for if they
brought rain the open air session became difficult. But the threat
apart, it was a perfect setting. The whole audience was sitting in an
enormous natural bowl. We waited for the President and Bapu to
arrive for the formal presidential procession. Two bands were in
readiness. And then it began to rain. Not merely to rain but to pour
in torrents. Within a few seconds the scene changed. A few visitors
left hurriedly but the vast numbers remained. But suddenly the people
almost disappeared fi-om view. There was a sea of bamboo mattresses
to be seen and many umbrellas. In order to protect themselves from
the fierce onslaught of the pouring ram, the people picked up the
mattresses they were sitting on and crept underneath them. I went
about from place to place, getting thoroughly soaked in the process,
and was delighted to find how cheerful almost everyone was. The
women were specially in difficulties because of their saris. But it was
a jolly crowd.The rain continued. Soon the bottom of the huge bowl,
where the dais was situated, was a lake, two or three feet deep. Yet
people stood in it. The President arrived. Bapu did not come. In
spite of the rain the President insisted on starting the session.
Unfortunately the loudspeakers failed just then, for their engines were
completely under water. Still we began formally and after a few words
of welcome from the Chairman of the Reception Committee, the
President spoke for a while and then I proposed formally the one
and only resolution for the Congress. This was seconded formally
and thus the session was adjourned till tomorrow.

We waded back through lakes of water. It was surprising how
well everybody took these untoward occurrences. They were singing

1 Refers to letter No 241

278

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

and shouting slogans. And so we marched to our respective camps —
a good distance. Here we found that most of our goods & chattels had
got wet. The roofs were leaking all over the place. We shifted as best
we could. It was vastly entertaining to see the leaders of the Congress
sitting perched up in odd corners trying to escape the rain.

It struck me that if conditions were so bad in this ‘Leaders’ Camp’
how much worse they must be in the delegates’ camps. So I went for
a tour of these and especially visited some of our guests from abroad.
Everywhere I found jolly groups almost enjoying their discomforts. I
felt quite exhilarated by the experience and sensed the strong bond
that united us aU in a common endeavour.

Many of us spent the whole evening in fixing up people, providing
extra blankets, and in putting on extra mats on some of our roofs.
And thus at last, late at night, we retired. That was not such an easy
matter for it was difficult to escape the rain dripping from the roof
I shall write to you more later.

All my love.
Your loving,
Papu

246

Les Frines,
Leysin,
Switzerland,
22nd March, i940

Darling,

The Sunne shone

Upon my bed with bright bemes.

With many glad gilden stremes.

And eke the welkin was so faire.

Blew, bright, clere was the air.

Years ago I read this, or may be even learnt it by heart, at school. And
all of a sudden, as I was doing my ‘Plut-ventre’ out on the balcony, it
came back to me this morning. It’s Chaucer, isn’t it?

And you are so sad^ that it took all the blue, clear brightness out of

1. Refers to letter dated 11 March 1940 (No. 243).

• HOMECOMING •

279

my sky. It filled me with a great sadness, and above all, with a great
longing to be with you. It is httle enough that I can do for you, but if
my mere presence can be of any comfort to you, it is only right that I
should be with you. And I do so want to be. Here we are, miles away
from each other, both so lonely, and needing each other so. There is
no point in my staying here.

There is no doubt that I am better now than when I arrived over
three months ago — ^but not much. I look slightly better, I breathe
much better. In weight I have gained 3 lbs, my present weight being
8514 Ibs.Just about a month ago I started getting up m the afternoons —
starting with fifteen minutes and now for two and a half hours, during
which 1 go for a short walk. On the other hand, that perpetual fatigue
I used to feel is still a faithful companion, my appetite is not improving
and I eat very litde with great effort, and I don’t sleep at aU well. Last
Sunday Lady Maharaj Singh' came to lunch with me & collared the
Professor for a talk about me. The Professor told her that I should stay
at Les Frenes for a year more, i.e. until spring 1941. And apparently
he seemed to take it for granted that I would do so! This news has
upset me considerably.

Personally I’d like to leave as soon as possible. I’m not saying that
Leysm hasn’t done me any good or that these three months have
been wasted. But, having given me this direction, there is nothing
more Leysin can do for me.

I have a very strong — almost overpowering — desire to go to India.
It obsesses me. Most of the time I would probably be more alone
than I am here but perhaps you would be able to visit me now and
then, which, of course, is infinitely better than not seeing you at all.
With a good and inteUigent ayah, I feel 1 would get along better than
if I stayed on here, for I would have more mental calm.

But, of course, all this is as yet just a castle in Spain. I must do
whatever the doctors advise. I do hope they wiU let me come.

The books 1 ordered from Blackwell’s have arrived. I have just
finished reading Stefan Zweig’s Les Hemes Etoilees de I’Htmiaiiite, and
have now begun Zweig’s biography of Tolstoy in French.^

On Tuesday came Dr Hilary Roche, the Montana doctor I wrote

1. Lady Maharaj Singh: wife ofSir Maharaj Singh of the princely family ofKapurthala
State He was a brother of Rajkumari Amnt Kaur, close associate of Mahatma
Gandhi

2. Stefan Zweig (1881-1942): Austrian author.

280

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

to you about. I liked him. He is Australian. From his wdfe he brought
me a pot of lovely sweet-smelhng hyacinths, so that now my room is
all a-bloom with spring and fragrant with lovely scents. I do love
flowers and colour.

Yesterday I went to tea with rather an eccentric Irishwoman. Her
father was a general in India twenty years ago. She’s been ill since the
age of six but is practically all right now. She has given me some
books on Irish poetry to read.

From aU this you will think that I meet a lot of people & have
quite a social life! But this week has been exceptional. Most days I
just go for my Httle lonely walk & then back to the little gossiping
group of Les Frenes patients whose main topics of conversation are:
food & the strangers who pass by on the road below. Sometimes \vc
play cards & that passes the time . . .

Lots of love, darling mine,

Indu

247

AnanA Bhaum,
Allahabad,
23rd March, 1940

Darling Indu,

Yesterday we came back to Allahabad from Ramgarh via Gaya. I found
to my joy three envelopes, with your familiar handwriting, waiting
for me here.

I could not get proper accommodation in the train for Allahabad
as vast numbers of people were departing that day. So we decided to
go to Gaya and spend a day there. We did so and visited the Bodh
Gaya temple and for a while forgot the India of today and lived in the
brave old days when Gautama flourished. In the afternoon wc
motored seventy-five miles to the excavations of Nalanda, the old
university where our fi-iend Hiuen Tsang^ studied for fourteen years
and became a Master of the Law. I was surprised to find how big this
place was. It had been planned on a vast scale, or rather it had grown

1. Hiuen Tsang (A0 600-664): Buddliist monk, scholar and traveller of Chinese origin,
who came to India during die reign of the Emperor Harsliavardhana in the seventh
century, and stayed for more than a decade. His account of what he saw and observed
during his stay in India throws valuable light on the country during this period.

• HOMECOMING •

281

with the years, for the university flourished for 800 years.

From Nalanda we went to Rajgir, or Rajgriha as it used to be
called m the old days when the Chinese pilgrim Fa Hien^ came and
described it. There are hot springs here which, they say, contain
radium. But India has a habit of giving everything a religious
significance and these springs became a place for pilgrimage with the
attendant pandas exploiting the pilgrims. Many people came for cures
but there was nothing like the development one sees m Europe
wherever such springs exist. We bathed in these springs and the water
was delightfully refiresliing. It was just hot enough to be comfortably
borne. Probably some enterprising syndicate will develop the place
within the next few years and bottle the water for sale.

And then back to Gaya, stopping en route at Pawapuri, a great place
of Jain pilgrimage, where Mahavira died or, as they say, attained maha
nirvana. Here, in the middle of a beautiful lotus-covered lake, stands a
lovely temple. It is lovely from a distance, not so from near by, for our
worthy Jain millionaires have lavished money on it and succeeded in
converting it into a cross between a gorgeous lavatory and a seaside
pier with the most blatant electric posts and marble everywhere. They
love marble.

All this was tiring but I enjoyed it, as I always enjoy my new
discoveries of India. I am always discovering something new in this
wonderful land and the hold of India grows upon me. Long ago — do
you remember it? — ^when we were travelling in the air-conditioned
coach in Malaya towards Penang, I sat down to write an essay on the
Discovery of India. I wrote only a few lines then though my mind
was full of ideas. That unfinished sheet is stiU with me. I suppose I
shall write on the subject one day, for it grows upon me.^

You seem to be thinking already of the difficulties of housekeeping
in Kashmir or the hills. I do not myself see why you should spend
the winter in the hills or in Kashmir, but if you want to do so there
will be no difficulty about it. Remember that India is a very friendly
place, especially for us, and wherever you might go you will find
friends who want to help. Housekeeping on a small scale offers no

F Fa Hien (aD 399-414);a Buddhist priest from China;author and traveller;journeyed
overland to India and spent about ten years there during the reign of Chandragupta
II (AD 376-415); wrote an account of his travels, and translated Buddhist texts.

2. This refers to a brief manuscript which Jawaharlal later developed into a book, The
Discovery of India.

282

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

difficulty. I have lived in Anand Bhawan all by myself for months and
the cook has done what he liked about housekeeping. I have never
even asked him anything about it. It may be that I could have saved a
little money otherwise. But it was not worthwhile and I wanted peace.

A crowd of Burmese have descended upon us tonight. They are
of the Dobama Thakin party, a kind of young socialists, whom you
might perhaps remember. I expected five of them here but nine turned
up, to the discomfiture of the cook, Hari' and others. It was dinnertime
and there was not enough room at the table. So we had a stand-up
dinner and the food was just sufficient. Enough beds were found
with some difficulty. All these nine are crowded up in the big guest
room, but most of them are sleeping on the verandah. Your room was
unoccupied but I do not like other people taking possession of it,
though sometimes I have to put up with this. So many people come
to see me and often put up with us. Your room remains as you left it.
I have often shifted books and other things in my room, but yours
remains unchanged. I prefer it so.

Tonight is the Holt night and tomorrow is the festival. Here is a
litde poem which might interest you. It is by A.E. Hou.sman:^

Yonder see the morning blink;

The sun is up, and up must I,

To wash and dress and eat and drink
And look at things and talk and think
And work, and God knows why.

Oh often have I washed and dressed
And what’s to show for all my pain?

Let me lie abed and rest:

Ten thousand times I’ve done my best
And all’s to do again.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

1. H.in: valet to Motilal Nehru; after his death attached himself to Jaw.ahprkl Nehru.

2. Alfred Edward Housman (1859-1936): English classical scholar and poet; Professor
of Latin, University College, London, 1892-1911, and Cambridge. 191 1-36.

• HOMECOMING •

283

248

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
7th April, 1940

Darling Indu,

I have been spending some days in a camp on the other side of the
Jumna. The camp routine occupied every minute of the day and
sometimes a bit of the night also and it was almost impossible to
write there.

I want so much to see you and touch you and hear you, but I am
not fool enough to allow my wishes to interfere with your treatment.
Oxford IS out of the question now, and you have more or less decided
to return to India. The sooner you come the better, certainly, but that
sooner must not be at the cost of your health.

I suggest that you should now wait for the advice of your doctors.

It was a delightful and worthwhile experience for us middle-aged
folk, feeble of limb and short of breath, and some actually unwell, to
try to live the strenuous life of a volunteer camp. We were driUed and
made to do exercises and sentry duty, and spinning of course, and
first aid, games, etc, etc. Up in the morning at five thirty — ^fights out,
in theory at nine thirty p.m. It was all very ridiculous for us to behave
like boy scouts, but there was a deeper and a psychological aspect for,
by doing so, we raised the idea of volunteering. After more than thirty
years I seized hold of a cricket bat again. After eighteen years I played
volley-ball, and played it rather well. Volley-ball became the favourite
game, and fiercely contested matches were played.

We lived on the other side of the Jumna and 1 made fi-iends with
her and became her ardent admirer. What a lovely river she is and
how she used to change her colour and her mood as the day
progressed. In the early dawn she was a sight of rare beauty and even
the ugly waterworks building on the other side caught the spell and
seemed almost like a moated castle.

At mght we had camp fires and folk songs — delightful village songs
sung in the village way. Some of the villagers from the surrounding
'Ullages trooped in and joined.

Have you heard that Charlie Andrews — Uncle Charlie — died two
days ago in a Calcutta nursing home? He had been ill for a long time
and had been operated upon several times. His death has distressed

284

• TWO ALONC, TWO TOGETHER •

me greatly. I do not know that I have ever come across a more lovable
or more generous-hearted man. In these days of hatred and passion
and conflict, it is good to remember this man who was so childlike,
so foolish sometimes, and yet so utterly devoid of hatred or ill-will
against anyone, and so full of love and goodwill. If there is such a
thing as Godliness, he had it. It is very sad to think that he is no more.

I fear Gurudeva’ cannot last very long. He grows weaker and
weaker as his eightieth birthday approaches. Charlie’s death must have
been a terrible blow to him. India changes. The old guard fade away.
The old lamps go out and it is not clear what the new ones are like.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

249

Les Frenes,
Lcysln,
Suntzerland,
13th April, 1940

Darling Papu,

I have been reading, in the Reader’s Digest, a condensation from the
book Flowering Earth by D.C. Peattie.^ I am sure it would fascinate
you, as it did me. It is the story of green life — the plant kingdom —
upon the earth. Is it not wonderful, the oneness of life? It is ever a
source of marvel to me how intrinsically the fates of aU living things
are bound together and how dependent on one another they are. It
makes one humble and awed and proud all at once to feel that
fundamentally this life which keeps us breathing is the same as the
life in Psilophyton, wliich was no more than the ‘dim beginning of an
idea for a plant’ — 350,000,000 years ago. Or maybe we could go back
yet another half a billion years & more to the very earliest form of
life — the iron bacteria! Humble to feel how very minute and negligible
one is in the midst of all this grandeur, and proud to know that being
so small, one is yet not insignificant, that one is an organic part of this
great Wonder, that one does contribute to making this world what it

1 . Rabindranatli Tagore.

2. D.C. Peatde: American botanist and writer.

• HOMCCOMING •

285

IS, in spite of everything, more marvellous and beautiful than even
our tiny brains can grasp. And one’s mind, D. H. Lawrence says, ‘has
no existence by itself, it is only the glitter of the sun on the surface of
the waters’. He goes on to say:

what we want is ... to reestablish the living organic connections
with the cosmos, the sun and earth, with mankind and nation
and family. But how? How, when all our sense of values has
gone crooked, when life is dominated not by the living organic
connection but by the false inorganic connections, not by the
sun and earth but by money and the like — ^How?

My love to you, darling mine,

Indu

250

Les Frhtes,
Leysin,
Switzerland,
20th April, 1940

Darling,

Last evening’s Radio Rome news announced that Bapu had declared
Civil Disobedience. I can’t help being glad. All success to you. Here
is my body, so far from India & you, but the rest of me is quite near
you and my mind is full of you every moment.

Lots of love, darhng mine,
Your,
Indu

251

Andheri,
25th April, 1940

Darling Indu,

I have been in Andheri for four or five days and it is very pleasant
here, far better than Bombay. This house (it is Psyche’s) is well situated
®d has a pleasant garden. It is a very old-fashioned house and the
furniture belongs to some antique age. Everything is heavily carved

286

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

and the rooms are overfii]] of these massive articles. I do not fancy this
style. It is depressing and uncomfortable. But this is a minor point.
The house is delightful and Psyche sees to it that I have a quiet and
restful time. She herself hves in Bombay but comes here sometimes
in the afternoons.

This evening I went for a walk. I wanted to go to Juhu and I
managed to reach there before it got dark. But the way back was
more difficult as it was quite dark and I lost my way. Ultimately I took
a bus to Santa Cruz (the busman refused to charge fares) and from
there a taxi brought me. How helpless I get when I venture out by
myself I am so used to not going anywhere or to being accompanied
by someone, that by myself I get lost. Today was my first experience
of a bus ride in Bombay.

My love to you, my dear.
Your loving,
Papu

26tlt April, 1940

Your account of D.C. Peattie’s book. Flowering Earth, is fascinating. I
must try to get the book. Science, in all its manifold aspects, is almost
a new adventure for your mind, but I have been thrilled by it for long
years. Remember that at one time, long long ago, I studied chemistry
and physics and geology and botany, and even took my degree in
them. Science has given more faith and confidence and peace of mind
than almost anything. Without it I would have been rudderless. For
me it has taken the place of religion. But Science must be allied to
life — to the earth — to flowers and trees and mountains and rivers,
and human beings. Otherwise it is lifeless — ‘A little primrose by the
brim, a yellow primrose was to him, and it was nothing more.’

Harsha and Ajit have just turned up and it is not possible to
continue writing.

Love,

Papu

252

Les Frenes,
Leysin,
Switzerland,
10th May, 1940

Darling Papu,

This is just a hurried line to reassure you — though I’m sure this letter
will be hopelessly out of date by the time it reaches you.^ Don’t
worry about me, darling. Even if the worst comes to the worst, as far
as Switzerland is concerned, Leysin -will be quite safe. This morning
two frontier towns were bombarded — ^but they say it was a mistake.
The Swiss, however, are not taking any chances and have ordered
general mobilisation.

The war has come right on top of England now — ^bombing in
France, fighting in Belgium & Holland. The next step is England.
There is one thing to be said for the Nazi Government — ^it’s been
damned thorough on every one of its frontiers. I hope the aid to
Belgium & Holland will be prompter & more efficient than that
offered Norway.^

My thoughts are with you.

Lots of love,
Indu

253

Les Frenes,
Leysin,
Switzerland,
16th May, 1940

Darling Papu,

Here are my plans. I am staying on in Leysin unless and until
Switzerland is involved in the war. When this happens I am told that
all foreigners’ will have to leave. So I shall go to England. There is no

Germany invaded Holland, Belgium and Luxembourg on 10 May, the same day on
which Winston Churchill replaced Neville Chamberlain as Prime Minister.

2. The British landings at Narvik started six days after Germany invaded Norway (9
April).

288

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

Other course open. Don’t worry, darling, there is no danger or difficulty
in all this. I am getting in touch with the British Consul to find out
what he suggests & also to make arrangements about getting a transit-'
visa through France, .should the need arise.

The only thing that I was a little worried about was money. I have
none here & haven’t paid my bills here for a month. The money is of
course in London & I have sent for it but heaven alone knows when
it will arrive. Anyway, I was quite frank about it with Miss Rollier,
who is the matron here, and she assured me that Prof, would lend me
enough to see me through to England & from there I could pay my
bills, etc. So that is settled.

If I have to leave, it is no use sending numerous telegrams asking
for advice. I shall merely inform you & London that I am arriving in
England. Further plans can be discussed there. I may be able to get a
boat coming to India — via the Cape, of course.

Don’t get agitated or worried about me, darling. I shall be perfectly
aU right. A crisis is the one time when I do keep my head.

Much love darling — look after yourself

Indu

254

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
23rd May, 1940

Darhng,

The world we knew seems to disintegrate and dissolve and to give
place to something new. My mind is restless and sometimes distressed,
and at aU times it tries to peer into the fliture, but it does so in vain.

You have decided to stay on in Switzerland but one can never be
sure what new developments might compel us to do. StiU I hope you
will stick on to Leysin & Suisse for as long as you can.

I have had an interesting guest today. He is a distinguished Chinese
who is on his way back from Tibet to China — they have to go via
Darjeeling. He went to represent the Chinese Government at the
installation of the new Dalai Lama — a lad aged four or five. This new
Dalai Lama has been recendy chosen because he is supposed to show
signs of his predecessor. One of the strong points in his favour was
that he never laughs or smiles. He sits gravely through the various

• HOMECOMING •

289

ceremonies and behaves in a lordly manner to all who approach him.

I am off to Lahore & Peshawar and then Kashmir, just for five days.
It is rather absurd to go to Kashmir for this short period, but if I do
not seize this opportunity I might have to wait for a long time again.
I have waited long enough. I want to freshen the picture I have in
mind. It will help me in the days to come.

And now to bed. I am frightfully sleepy and it is two a.m.

Love,

Papu

255

Rampur,
Jhelim Valley,
Kashmir,
29th May, 1940

Darling Indu,

I am at last in Kashmir and I feel a htde excited and moved about it.

I spent two days in Peshawar. I was the guest of my young Pathan
friend about whom I wrote to you once — ^Mohammad Yunus^ — who
stayed with us in Allahabad. I told you that he had forty-three brothers
and sisters, many of them half-brothers, etc. All these having one
father. There were eight mothers or rather eight wives successively,
though sometimes overlapping. Yunus was the youngest of the family
and he was born when his father was eighty-mne years old. The old
man was hale and hearty to the end and died partly through an accident
when he was ninety-nine. The family mansion was in the heart of the
city of Peshawar, a big house of the old style, as solid as a fortress. The
mother-tongue of the family was, in a way, Persian and conversation
was carried on alternately in Persian, Pushtu, Hindustani and
sometimes in English.

It is really astonishing how much a Pathan can eat, and remember
that he does not waste time and energy over vegetables and rice and
the like. He concentrates on solid chunks of meat, rich pulao and

I. Mohammad Yunus; friend of the Nehrus, he joined the Indian Foreign Service after
1 9'J7 and held important diplomatic assignments. Later he became Chairman of the
Trade Fair Authority of India and a member of the Rajya Sabha (Upper House of
Indian Parliament).

290

■ TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

thick very 'whole.some bread. A day of this food in the extreme heat
of Pesliawar upset me and I have been gradually recovering since
then.

We left Peshawar yesterday — ^Abdul Ghaffar Khan was with me.
We stopped at Attock where the Indus meets another river and had a
dip in the cold water of the Indus. There we passed within ten miles
of Taxila and I was sorely tempted to go there. But our programme
was heavy and I resisted the temptation. This morning we started
from Abbottabad and followed the road to Kashmir, joining thejhelum
Valley route at Domel. My mind was continually going back to the
autumn of 1916, nearly twenty-four years, when I had gone by this
very road out of Kashmir with Dadu, Mummie & others. There were
numerous halts as people had gathered to welcome us all along the
route. We have now stopped here at Rampur for the night. Srinagar is
only fifty miles away and it was not difficult to reach it today. But the
people there insist on my reaching there in the afternoon, so that
they can have a river procession. I understand that this is going to be
a big affair.

I shall spend only two days in Srinagar and then go to various
places, including Kausarnag and Pahalgam. It "will be a hurried four-
day tour. Still I find Kashmir exliilarating and I have a sense of coming
back to my own — it is curious how race memories persist, or perhaps
it is all imagination.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

256

Anaud Bliaimi,
Allahabad,
iSth June, 1940

Indu darling,

Will this letter reach you, and if so how and when? I do not know. All
round little Switzerland are belligerent Powers now and war rages.
For the present, I suppose, all idea of your leaving Switzerland for
another country is out of the question. There appears to be no feasible
way. But events are taking place with astonishing speed and the future
may be [less] certain. Anyway I know that you can look after yourself,

• homecoming •

291

especially when crisis comes, and I do not worry.

I have paid my brief visit to Kashmir and I am exhilarated by it. I
am sure that a stay there in the higher valleys would be of enormous
benefit to you. I \vish 1 myself could go there for two months every
year — one month trekking towards Ladakh or Baltistan or the various
^aciers and upper valleys, and one month’s rest and intensive reading
and writing also in a higher valley. That would be an ideal life. But
ideals are difficult to realise!

During my brief stay I went to the Kolahoi glacier via Pahalgam. 1
loved this trip and came back thoroughly tanned.

1 think of you almost continuously. There are so many enquiries
about you. The world changes — ^an epoch is over. Let us keep cool
and steady and not allow ourselves to be bowled over by any change.
If you have news of Louise and Jean-Jacques let me have it.

All my love,
Your loving,
Papu

257

Leysiii,
[22nd June, 1940]

Nehru

Anand Bhawan
Allahabad

Postal communication impossible don’t worry am alright don’t write
stop newspapers love.

[Indu]

258

Les Frenes,
Leysin,
Switzerland,
23rd July, 1940

Darling Papu,

A couple of days ago the post office informed us that we could again
write to England and India ... I am writing all my letters as soon as

292

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

possible just in case communications break down again.

These weeks, so completely cut off from the rest of the world,
have been dreadful. Three letters which I had written to you^ — two
before and one after the fall of Paris^ — were returned to me from
Chiasso, the Italy frontier. The day the Germans marched into Paris, I
had two great surprises — a letter from Efy Aristarchi from Zurich and
a telephone call from Louise Morin from Lausanne. I had been worried
and anxious about her and Nanu and all the other people who, I
knew, were still in Paris, so it was a relief to have her news. Nanu,
Bannegee and others managed to get on the last train to leave Paris —
they had no idea where it was going, probably in the direction of
Bordeaux. That left Louise Morin quite friendless and rather frightened
in her little flat with no means of getting out of Paris except on foot.
Just then the Swiss Government sent a special train to repatriate Swiss
subjects living in Paris. Perhaps for the first time, Louise was glad to
have a Swiss passport (her husband was Swiss, you know). She managed
to squeeze into the train, which was packed more tightly than a tin of
sardines — to the extent of four people standing in the WC! — and
arrived in Lausanne. Mme Morin came over to Leysin for the weekend
and on Tuesday left: for France on a train — the train service having
been suspended on this Monday.

The Franco-German armistice had an immediate effect on the
Swiss radio and newspapers. You cannot imagine how poisonous is
the atmosphere here nowadays. At ‘Frenes’ there are two Spaniards
who fought for Franco, two Frenchmen who were clamouring for a
military dictatorship even before Petain^ formed his government &
asked for armistice terms. Tlie famille RoUier is loud in its praises of
imperialism — ^British and French. As a result I just can’t open my
mouth on any subject. At one moment I thought I could not bear it
and, when I heard that it was, after aU, possible to get to London via
Portugal, I decided to risk it. This service has come into being only
since about ten days. One goes by bus from Geneva to Barcelona and
then by air to London via Lisbon. The trip takes nearly four days and

1. Letters not traceable.

2. Paris fell on Friday, 14 June 1940.

3. Henri Phibppe Petain: French political and nulitary leader. After the fall of Pans in
the Second World War, he headed the Vichy Government that collaborated with
Nazi Germany.

• HOMECOMING •

293

costs about 800 Swiss francs. Terribly expensive! I would have gone
too, but I have such a horror of falling ill again that I felt that whatever
happens I didn’t think I could risk that. So here I am still.

Everyone is forever reminding me of the safety and security of
Leysin. I suppose it’s a great deal to be thankful for. But I don’t want
safety just for myself — I want to share the bombs and everything. I
don’t believe anybody who has not actually experienced
bombardments and trials of refugees and the sound of cannons can
ever imagine what it’s hke. I hate war as much as anyone, and much
more than most, but while there is one on, I want to know what it is
like — aU the horror and beasdiness of it.

My love to you,
Your loving,
Indu

259

Bombay,
1st August, 1940

Darling,

On my return from Kashmir, I wrote half a dozen articles on Kashmir.

I enclose the first of these. It might interest you as it gives my emotional
reactions to the long deferred visit. Possibly I imagined much that I
write about. But the visit had a powerful effect upon me. Even
physically it made me feel fitter and everyone remarked on this.

On my way back from Poona I paid a visit to the little state of
Aundh. This tiny state has become a group of village republics, partly
because the Raja is a go-ahead person, partly because of the influence
of his son, recently returned from Oxford. It was an interesting visit,
though Aundh is too small a place for any effective experiment.
Kirloskarwadi and Oglewadi are in Aundh and we visited both of
these industrial concerns.

The Raja of Aundh^ is a delightful and extraordinary person. He
IS about seventy-three but considers himself, and is in many ways, a
young man. He is famous for his surya namaskars, the old form of

1. Bhavanrao Shrinivasrao alias Balasaheb Pant (1868-1951): Raja of Aundh; liberal
ruler ofa small princely state who adopted a federal constitution for his prmcipahty
His son Apa B. Pant later represented India as a diplomat in many countnes.

294

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

exercise, in the form of salutation to the sun. Every schoolboy & girl
in the state does these namaskars and the Raja himself does a hundred
of them every morning, in addition to a brisk run up and down a hill.
His energy is extraordinary. He remarked casually to me that in another
twenty years’ time, perhaps he might begin to grow old and not be
able to run up & down a hiU! For thirty years or more he has done
these namaskars without a day’s break and during all this period he
has not had a day’s illness or even a cold.

All my love, darling,
Your loving,
Papu

260

I'Vardlia,
12th October, 1940

Darling,

Your letters do not come to me and presumably my letters do not
reach you. It is a curious and depressing world we live in when we
can neither meet nor communicate with those we love.

A letter that came recendy to me brought joy to me. It was from
Louise Morin. I was glad to have news of her. But what pleased me
especially was her account of the visit she paid to you at Leysin. She
gave me a very satisfactory account of how you looked and how healthy
you seemed to be.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

261

Anand Bliaimn,
Allahabad,
25th October, 1940

Darling,

At last, after long waiting, a letter^ from you has just reached me. Was

1 . Refers to letter dated 23 July 1940 (No. 258).

• HOMECOMING •

295

it four months ago when I got your last letter? It took full three months
for this to come.

I thought of you a great deal as I read that letter and all day as I
carried it about with me. Not that the inducement of a letter was
required. You are seldom out of my mind and sometimes I have a
feeling that you are very near me. The door between your room and
mine is always open and I walk in and out of it fiequendy for no
apparent reason. In my own room you look at me from every side.
You will be amused to learn how many pictures of you I have round
about me. Yesterday I counted them up. There were twenty-six of
them — all different ones of course — ^in my sitting room and dressing
room! From babyhood upwards you sprawl or sit or stand and the
past comes up before me and becomes more real than the present.

I have had many reports of the fall of Paris and France.
Suhrawardy^ — do you remember him? — was in Paris when the
Germans came and he gave us a vivid account. Then the letter from
Louise Morin after her return from Switzerland. For sheer tragedy
and drama the sudden collapse of France would be hard to beat. It
made people realise suddenly that the old world we knew was cracking
up. It was the end of an era. And yet, I suppose, most people in India,
both Indians and English, still fail to appreciate what is happening.

What a world we Hve in! It is a nightmare. And yet even the most
sensitive grow used to its daily horrors. I read about the bombing of
London and then remember that Chungking has had this kind of
thing for years — and still carries on. I do not suppose any city has had
this experience for such a length of time. I do not know how people
feel when they are bombed. I did not feel the slightest bit nervous as
I watched the bombing of Barcelona and Chungking.^ I was fascinated
by the sight. Indeed I resented being pushed into a dug-out.

Your loving,
Papu

L H S. Suhravvardy. leader of the Musbm League in Bengal. He was ChiefMinister of
Bengal, 1946-7, and later Prime Minister of Pakistan, 1956-7.

2 Jawaharlal Nehm visited Barcelona injune 1938, during the Civil War, and Chungking
in August 1939. China had been at war with Japan since 1937 and Chungking, which
became the centre of government during the hostilities, was severely damaged by
intensive Japanese bombing

296

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

District Jail,
Gorakhpur,
5th November, 1940

262

Darling Indu,

Again I am writing to you from prison after many years. When was it
last that I did so? Over five years ago and then also you were in Europe.

I was arrested the day after Diumli and brought here from Allahabad.
The next day after my arrival was Id, the great MusUm festival ending
the Ramzan fast. So in feasting and rejoicing I came here, or was
brought here. My trial lasted two days and today I was sentenced.
There were three counts on three speeches I had delivered a month
ago in Gorakhpur district and on each charge I was sentenced to a
year and four months rigorous imprisonment, each sentence to run
consecutively, that is four years in all. That is the biggest sentence I
have so far had in my longish experience . . .

Four years seems a long time to look forward to. And yet in this
world of shock and change, it makes little difference what period is
fixed for a sentence. For my part I might as well be here as elsewhere.
For the last five days my tired mind and body have been clamouring
for rest and I have slept more than I have done for many months.
The mind has not been so restful. It is a wayward creature and not
easy to control.

And now about you, my darling one. My arrest and sentence must
not make the least bit of difference to what you intend doing. Do not
worry in the sHghtest. I have deliberately chosen my path, well knowing
the consequences, and have trained myself to it.

Each generation has to solve its own problems, and that perhaps
applies far more today, in this fast changing world, than ever before.
For a passing generation to impose itself on a new one is bad. Do not
therefore consider me, or what you may think are my wishes in
anything, as a burden and an obstacle in your way. I have almost ceased
to have any wishes about others, individually considered, though I
have these wishes for large impersonal objects.

In the soHtude of prison I shall think of you a great deal. I shall sit
here wrapped up in my thoughts and you wiU be a constant companion
bringing joy and solace to me. So I shall not be really lonely, and the
years or months that I pass here wiU perhaps bring peace to my mind.

• HOMECOMING •

297

I shall make friends again with the stars and watch the moon wax and
wane, and see the pageant of the world, with aU its beauty and horror,
as an onlooker from a distant place or a different world. I have worked
hard during most of my life but I have worked as I wanted to, and Hfe,
in spite of many hard knocks, has been gracious to me. I suppose I
have hard work still to do. There are no ways of escape from it. But at
present I feel somewhat weary in mind. When I feel this way I seek
refuge in poetry and the classics. What is wisdom, asks Euripides,

What then is Wisdom? What of man’s endeavour?

To stand from fear set free, to breathe and wait,

To hold a hand uplifted over Hate.

And shall not Loveliness be loved for ever?

Do I not betray my age and generation in what I write, and in my
quotations?

If you are in touch with Louise and Nanu send them my love. If it
is possible for you to help Nanu in any way, I wish you would do so.
For months I have been worried about him not knowing what to do.

Your loving,
Papu

263

La Pelouse,
Bex,
Switzerland,
7th November, 1940

Darling Papu,

Your letters' vnritten in Kashmir arrived last week. I was glad to get
them just then — glad that you were able at last to go to Kashmir and
refresh your mind and body with the mountain you love so much.

La Pelouse and the surrounding mountainsides are incredibly
beautiful — such rich gold and bronze and wine-red tints. And on the
peaks, a sprinkhng of snow. If only one could compress all this — ^like
perfume in a bottle — and send it to you. But ‘We cannot cage the
minute within its nets of gold.’^

1- Refers to letter dated 29 May 1940 (No 255), second letter not published.
2. From ‘Sunlight in the Garden’ by Louis MacNeice.

298

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Do you know that since the middle of September I have been
making efforts to get out of this country?

To come to India I must go to England. To go to England 1 must
pass through France, Spain and Portugal. The Portuguese visa is
unavailable unless one produces one’s ticket as proof of one’s intention
of leaving Portugal immediately. The Spanish Consulate will not even
think of a visa until you show them your Portuguese one. Then you
take your Spanish visa to the French Consulate!

I spent some days in Geneva. I have now my air ticket to England
and my Portuguese visa. Nothing else to do but wait — ^wait . . . wait . . .
The Spanish Consulate says cheerfully that the visa may take three
weeks or six weeks or months.

So I sit alone and admire the autumn tints. Was it Mussolini, or his
son Bruno, who said that . . ‘completed’ the beauty of nature? We
have even that ‘perfection’ here.

From ten p.m. until seven in the morning we have a complete
blackout. Foodstuffs have of course been rationed for sometime except
milk and a few other things. Prices are going up almost every few
hours. Since last week there is absolute prohibition for the selling of
any kind of clothing or cloth, shoes, wool, cotton, silk, all rubber
goods, soap and a whole host of other things. Eventually ration cards
will be issued for these commodities — eventually; the Lord knows
when. Such is life in a neutral country!

Meanwhile, to pass the time I am learning Spanish — I want to be
able to ‘se debrouiller^ if, as has happened to several people, I get held
up in Spain.

Much love, darling one,
Indu

1 . Deleted by censors: letters written or received in prison had to pass through official
censors.

2. To manage.

• HOMECOMING •

299

264

District Jail,
Dehra Dun,
18th November, 1940

Dailing Indu,

The idea of your coming back to India and of my seeing you fills me
with joy.

Even after you reach London the problem of returning to India is
not solved. I am told that there is a long list of persons, including
children, waiting to be sent to India. It takes months to get a passage
on a convoy. I do not know how far it is possible for you to return to
India without going to London, that is from Lisbon directly via the
Cape. You must have all these factors in mind and will be able to
decide for yourself.

1 quite agree with you that it is not good enough for any man or
woman to sit at ease, doing nothing, while millions have to risk
everything they possess from day to day. Life is something much more
than a round of eating and sleeping and amusing oneself. Indeed, as
someone has said, one can enjoy life properly only after resolving
not to count the cost. I am not of the calculating variety, neither are
you, and I would not hke you to be one. We must face the risks and
perils of the adventure of life. If I was an Englishman, I would not
leave England now whatever happened, and in spite of bombing and
everything else. Being an Indian, my job lies in India and I would
not leave India now even if I could.

Let us therefore not be fnghtened of perils, real or imaginary —
the real ones are bad enough, but to be frightened of them is far
worse. But to face danger calmly and courageously is one thing: to
be foolhardy and melodramatic about it is quite another thing. It is
folly. Therefore one avoids needless risk and danger. You will do so
I hope.

Two nights ago I was suddenly informed in Gorakhpur Jail that I
was being transferred to Dehra Dun.

I am back again in my old place in Dehra which I left over six
years ago — in August 1934 I think it was. What a six years they have
been!

Tomorrow is your birthday, my darling one. At Bex it wiU pass off
rather quietly, but you wiU be in the minds of numerous people who

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

3 00

tare for you, and you will haunt me even more than you usually do.
And so, au revoir, cara rnia, and may it be well with you.

Your loving,
Papu

265

Geneve,

25th November, 1940

Nehru,

District Jail,

Dehra Dun

Leaving Switzerland twenty seventh Lisbon England whence hope to
come India via Cape Don’t worry Darling much love,

Indu Nehni

266

Casa de Sao Mamede,
159 Rua da Escola,
PoUtecnica,
Lisboa,

14th December, 1940

Darhng Papu,

It was a fortnight yesterday since my arrival in Lisbon. The date of
departure is still one big question mark. I have an aeroplane ticket
but I have put my name down on the boat list as well — I shall leave
by whichever service offers me a passage first. Of course the air service
takes some hours and the boat at least a month to reach England. But
I think one month on the journey is better than being stuck on in
Lisbon indefinitely. Feroze has managed to get me priority for the
plane. But as there are at least sixty other names before mine on the
priority list, most people think it is quite hopeless waiting for a seat.

I left Geneva at seven a.m. on the 27th November by bus. We
spent four hours at the Franco-Swiss fix)ntier. At first we were in a
thick mist and the ground was covered with frost. Quite suddenly we
emerged from the mist and beheld a most magnificent range of snow-
topped mountains rising out [of] a sea of white foam like clouds. The

• HOMCCOMING •

301

scenery all along was rather glorious. I like the rugged wildness of
the Haute Savoie. The only outward signs of the war that we saw were
a few blown-up bridges, the complete absence of sugar and the
undrinkable concoction wliich is called ^cafe mtiomV . All the towns
we passed were very gloomy and quite deserted.We lunched at Gorian
and dined and slept at Nimes. We left Nimes next morning at six
thirty and saw the most superb sunrise of my life. We were driving
along the sea and I was looking out at the calmness of the
Mediterranean when I saw the tiniest drop of blood on the horizon.
For a moment I couldn’t think what it was. And then it rose and grew
bigger and bigger. It was a perfect poem, this ball of the very essence
of red reflected in the sea. It was just so majestic and splendid, one
did not wonder that he was called a God and worshipped.

For this second day we had been told to bring our own provisions.
And we ate our sandwiches and hard-boiled eggs for breakfast at Sete
and again for lunch at Le Perthus, the French frontier. Between Le
Perthus & La Junquera, Spanish frontier, we spent nearly five hours in
a howling gale. Everybody caught a cold. Up till here the journey
had not been at all bad. But at this frontier we had to change buses,
for the Spanish Govt doesn’t allow any foreign bus to enter their
territory. The road to Barcelona was hke a village road in India, full of
holes and bumps and oh so dusty. Moreover we were packed like
sardines. We were glad to see the glimmering hill of lights that was
Barcelona. How different it was when you were there! I fell completely
in love with Barcelona and the Spaniards — especially the women.
Barcelona is beautiful but sad, sad to the point of pain. Such misery
on every face! Apart from anything else there is so little food, no
butter, no sugar, inedible bread. About the only thing one saw in
abundance were flowers, masses and masses of them. There was one
other thing in equal abundance — portraits of Franco' and of Jose
Antonio," whoever he is or was. Also posters about the victory. I was
sorry to leave. But my seat was reserved on the next morning’s plane
to Lisbon. From the air, Spain looked like an enormous patchwork
quilt, the browns, deep greens, beiges blending together exquisitely.
At four thirty p.m., Portuguese time, we landed at Cintra aerodrome.

1. Francisco Franco (1892-1975); Spanish military leader and dictator.

2. Jose Antonio Prinio de Rivera (1 903-36)' founder of the Falangc.the Spanish Fascist
Party.

302

• TWO AI.ONE. TWO TOGHTHER •

Police, passport, customs all over again. This was the beginning of
trouble for me. After one look at my passport photograph the police
officer said that it was not me, and therefore the passport could not be
mine! I just kept mum — after all what can one say? Then he wanted
to see my ticket and I found that I had lost it — trust me to choose just
this journey to lose my ticket for the first time in all my travels! Anyway
after a most unpleasant half-hour at the police I was allowed to leave.
Cooks of Geneva had wired for a room reservation a whole week
ago but on arrival I found there was no reservation for me. The next
two hours were spent in going from one hotel to another in search of
a bed. At half past eight we arrived at a poky little hotel where there
was a double room vacant for just one night. I took it, dumped my
luggage and then went out in search of a Mrs Moreton, whose address
had been given [to] me in Geneva. Mrs Moreton is [the] Swiss widow
of an English person — she has lived all her life in Lisboa. She is one
of those persons brimming over with undiluted goodness.

The next morning — the 30th — I found that a room had been
reserved for me in Estoril, a resort some miles from Lisbon. So I
moved there. Estoril is terribly like Juhu, only full of enormous hotels.
My own hotel was altogether too luxurious and expensive & besides
it was a nuisance being so far from Lisbon — ^forty-five mins by train.
However I was forced to stay in bed for at least a couple of days for by
this time my cold had taken on enormous proportions, I had a bad
cough and my voice had taken a holiday. On the 3rd I went up to
Lisbon & with Mrs Moreton as guide began a second hunt for a
room. The next day I moved to this pension, and have been here
since.

The Portuguese are very poor and very dirty. A lot of women &
children are barefooted and there are many beggars. People spit all
over the place — there is a terrific amount of shoutings and many
hawkers singing out their wares firom house to house. It is almost bke
being in India. This is the first time I have seen custard-apples in
Europe. The milk is watery and unappetising — water has to be boiled.
Portuguese meals swim in oil. Compared to other commodities food
is cheap — and ample too, though a shortage of butter is being felt.

Lisbon is swarming with foreigners, mostly refugees trying to get
away to the Americas. Whichever office one goes to one is practically
trampled under foot.

In most of the offices, people understand ‘um po’ of French but
otherwise the language difficulty is another complication in a

• MO,M!.COV,!NG •

505

complic-iitcd filiation. Written Portviguese is like Spanish and vcr>f
when spoken it sounds like Czech, only worse. I find it
impossible to understand a word — for instance when a Portuguese
sws 'l-isho.i' all one hears is ‘shbo’.

Some days ago I bought the News Chronicle of die 6th Dee — the
fitst Hnglish paper I’ve seen for nearly a year. It gave me the news of
I'liphi’s arrest and also of some kind of ‘truce’ that the moderates
were trying to negotiate.

This morning came a cable from Agatha, ‘Have received money
from your father.’ Thank you so much. But I think I have already
quite enough . . .

I have left with Wagons-lits Cook, Rue Mont-Blanc, Geneva, just
over ‘lOOd .Ssviss francs.Tliis is in my name (old passport No. 7757-C).
They assured me that I could draw the whole or part of this amount
anywhere in the world — that is at any branch of Cooks after cabling
to the Genev'a office. So I left the money, just in case I needed it on
my journey to India, when taking money out of England would be
diflicult. 1 am telling you this so that you may claim this money just in
case (tins is highly improbable, but still) anything should happen to
me. There is no point in making a present of it to Cooks.

Nami is in Montpellier — he hasn’t a sou. I sent him 500 Swdss frs.

My wishes for the coming New Year and all all my love to you.

Your,

Indu

267

District Jctil,
Dehra Dun,
lOtli January, 1941

Barling Indu.

>So you are in London now. Long before your cable’ came — for cables
take time nowad.ays, especially^ to reach in prison — I learnt of your
arrival in London from the newspapers.

What a changed London you must have found! London has had a
had lime, like so many other cities in various countries. And yet
perhaps no city has suffered more during the past years than

>. Cjl'.c not published; Indira rcMchcd London on 1 Jann.ir^' 1941.

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

3 04

Chungking. Some time back I had a letter from Madame Chiang
Kai-shek.^ She said in this:

If you were to visit Chungking now you would not recognise
it. Square miles of the most prosperous business districts have
now become shambles, and so far as the eye can see nothing
but debris and ruins stretch out in all directions. AU of us who
are stiU sound in limb have worked and toiled incessandy for
the relief of the tens of thousands of homeless refugees deprived
of every means of livelihood through the insensate destruction
of human Lives and property with the most calculated cruelty
ever conceived by man.

Such is our world today. Something much more vital than buildings
has gone to pieces. It will not be pieced together after the old pattern
again, whatever happens.

I have been reading a book about China — Lin Yu-tang’s^ new
novel of Chinese life — Moment in Peking. It is a tremendously long
book and rather unlike a modern novel. And yet it is worth reading
and I hope you wdl get hold of it. China is very different from India
and yet there is so much in common. Both have been passing through
a tremendous period of transition in their inner lives and this transition
has suddenly to face a world change. I have been drawn more and
more towards China and admire her culture greatly.

I understand that Lindsay Drummond is bringing out a collection
of my writings and calling it The Unity of India. Please ask Krishna to
have complimentary copies sent on my behalf to various friends of
ours.You can make a Hst. Copies should be sent to Bapu and Gurudev.
Also to Madame Chiang Kai-shek (Chungking) and Madame Sun
Yat-sen and to the Chinese Ambassador in London. To Agatha, Edward
Thompson and Carl Heath.^ You can add to this list in England &

1. Madame Chiang Kai-shek: educated in the U S.A.,she married General Chiang Kai-
shek in 1927 and accompanied her husband on many of his military campaigns She
did much relief work among orphans and refugees and received the highest military
and civil decorations of the National Government of China.

2. Lin Yu-tang: Chinese author and philologist, who stayed at Anand Bhawan on Ins
visit to Allahabad in March 1944.

3. Carl Heath: President of the Concih'ation Group, created in 1 931 , on the initiative of
Mahatma Gandiu, during his wsit to London. This Group mediated between British
and Indian leaders.

• HOMECOMING •

305

India. Also to Mrs Frances Gunther. Mrs Gunther has written to invite
you to America and says she will look after you.

All my love to you my darling one.

Your loving,
Papu

268

District Jail,
Dchra Dim,
Jlstjanuary, 1941

Darling Indu,

Day before yesterday 1 received your letter from Lisbon dated 14th
December.’ It took just a month and a half to travel round the world
via New York, Manila, China, etc. Perhaps a good part of this time
was taken up by the various censors reading your letter.

I looked long at the envelope which contained your letter. Your
handwriting on an envelope had not come to me for some months.
Like a treasure which has come my way unexpectedly and out of
which I wish to take full delight before examining it, I gazed long at
the envelope. It seemed to me that your handwriting was not quite
the same as it used to be.

Handwriting of course changes and develops and there was nothing
surprising about a slight change which seemed to have crept in yours.
But then, I wondered, does this indicate some change in you also? We
all change as the days and years roll by and I am myself conscious of
very definite changes in my own make-up. As I look back I seem to
see a procession of different personalities merging with each other
and yet each with its o\vn distinctive features. Whether the changes
are for the good or not I do not know. Or perhaps it is not so much a
change of personality that takes place as the emergence of different
aspects of the same personality. We are, each one of us, a group of
different individuals, all tied up together with no hope of release, and
sometimes they quarrel amongst themselves and we feel the tension
and the pain.

So, I wondered, during these two years since we met, how have
you progressed and changed in this changing and moving world.

I- Refers to letter d.ited 14 December 1940 (No 266).

306

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

I am glad you sent some money to Nanu. I wish I could help him
more. Send him my love if you can get through to him. Louise Morin
and Jean-Jacques also. It will cheer them up if they get messages of
love and friendship from outside.

The Memorial Hospital in Allahabad is practically ready now and
the question has arisen as to whether there should be a formal and
big opening ceremony by Bapu. I was not very keen on it under the
circumstances but Jivraj Mehta is anxious to have it. Jivraj has taken
enormous trouble over this hospital and his wishes carry weight.
Perhaps Bapu may agree to come over next month for the opening
ceremony. The hospital is an attractive and efficient looking building.
Some time or other, I suppose, Anand Bhawan will become an annexe
of it, perhaps for Httle children. That will be for you to consider and
decide.

Tomorrow is Vasanta Panchami, the day which heralds the coming
of spring. Usually it is remarkable how the season changes after this
day, though perhaps in Dehra Dun the change may be slower. For me
this day is an anniversary which I can never forget.^

The httle barrack we hve in is a very ancient affair. I am told it was
built nearly a hundred years ago. The roof has been pronounced
unreliable and so we are being shifted to a little tent in our small
courtyard while the roof is repaired or changed.

Give my love to Agatha and Krishna and Feroze and Kailas and all
our other friends.

Ranjit sends you his love. He is busy with his translation work
from Sanskrit — an old play written 1300 years ago dealing with
Chanakya s^ time. Extraordinarily interesting some of these plays are.
I wish I knew Sanskrit and could read them in the original.

Your loving,
Papu

1. Jawaharlal Nehru was married on Vasanta Panchami d.iy in 1916.

2 Chanakya, also called Kautilya orVislinugupta: Hindu statesman and philosopher
who lived in the fourth century B.C.

• HOMECOMING •

307

269

City of Paris,
22nd March, 1941

Darling Papu,

I cabled' to you from the last port of call.

I do hope you have not been anxious about me, because really we
have been having the most astounding luck. A palmist told me long
ago in India that all sorts of divine powers were protecting my lifeline!!

This IS the longest sea voyage I have ever been on and I must say
I do not fancy it at all — specially under war conditions. It was a great
relief to hear that we were going to call at a port. We did not stay long
and were not allowed to land. But it was good to look at the brownness
of the earth and the greenness of the trees after the eternal blue of the
Atlantic. I was longing to go ashore and feel land with my naked toes.
(How well I can understand the joy and reHef felt by Columbus and
his men when they sighted land!) However we had to be content
with watching it from a distance and buying lots of fruit, which was
being sold by men in canoes. I bought dozens of lovely green bananas
and mangoes and oranges, and devoured them with the zeal of one
who has not tasted food for many months. The food we get on board
is most monotonous and inedible.

We crossed the Equator a few days ago. There was the usual
‘Crossing the Line’ ceremony. It is completely mad. One person dresses
up as King Neptune & holds court on the ship. Whereupon all persons
crossing the line for the first time were tried and sentenced to being
ducked & white-washed and what not!

Have you heard of Zoshchenko?^ He is one of the leading
humorists of the Soviet Union. Translations of his short stories appear
quite often in magazines like Lilliput. Now for the first time some of
them have been collected in book form. They are really lovely — and
very' very ftmny.

We have a most pecuhar mixture of people on this ship. Fortunately
I already knew some of them in London, otherv\dse I would have
been bored stiff the whole voyage.

Mamu was well when I left London. I suppose you know that

' • Cable not published.

2 Mikhail Zoshchenko: Russian writer and humorist.

308

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Mami is expecting a baby.^ I believe it is expected towards the end of
March.

An reuoir darling and very much love.

Indu

270

Bomba)',
17th April, 1941

Jawaharlal Nehru,

Central Prison,

Lucknow

Arrived safely much love writing.

Indu

271

Amnd BImum,
Allahabad,
1st May, 1941

Darling Papu,

I was hoping to be able to come and see you this Sunday. But the heat
is getting me down completely — ^and the journey to Dehra is long &
very tiring.

Puphi is not taking Puphas interview until later on next week so
I am sending Madan Bhai & Feroze to see you on Sunday. Madan
Bhai wants to talk to you about my future treatment and programme.
I have started taking the injections.

With much love,
Indu

1 . The reference is to Kail.is Nath Kaul and Sheiia Kaiil, the matenial iinclc and aunt of
Indira Gandhi.

• HOMECOMING •

309

272

District Jail,
Delira Dm,
3rd May, 1941

Darling Indu,

The Superintendent told me this morning that he had allowed the
interview with Madan as he was coming as your medical adviser but
he had not allowed it to Feroze as there was no special reason for
this.

You will decide as you think best in consultation with Madan
Bhai and others [what you should now do], I can hardly be of help to
you from here. In drawing up your programme, it is best to proceed
on lines which do not appear as odd to other people, especially those
connected with us in various ways. Then there are those, like Ladli
Chacha,' who have been good enough to help us in family matters
for the last ten years or more, ever since Dadu died. AH these people
have to be treated in a friendly way and made to feel that they are not
being ignored or not consulted about matters on which they are usually
consulted.

Life IS rather a complicated business, as no doubt you will realise
as you grow older.

In politics, I am a little weary of those — and they are so many —
who without taking the trouble to understand the intricacies of a
complicated problem, seek to solve it out of hand. We are always
announcing answers to questions which we have not even framed. If
that is so in politics, it is even more in life itself, with its amazing
diversity and complexity.

I write all this because circumstances have put you on the threshold
of life and at every turn you will have to face a question mark. By
your answers to these questions your future will be moulded, and
often those answers wiU not be entirely pleasant ones. Distress and
suffering consume the world today. Nobody can avoid them. But
integrity of mind and action can be ours, whatever happens. And if
we are fortunate enough to possess this, then it does not much matter
what else we lack.

This note or letter sounds perilously hke sermonising — it is not

1. Lidli Prasad Zutshi: unde of Indira Gandhi

310

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

meant so. I talk too much and write too much — I grow garrulous
with age. But the period when as a father it was my function to guide
you in many ways has ended, because you have grown up and because
of other things. And I wonder so often if during these past years I
guided you aright or failed to do what I should have done. Anyway
that period of life for you and for me is past history. The moving
finger has written and moved on.

I want my old razor (Gillette type). There are two old ones in my
bathroom in Anand Bhawan. Someone might bring them here —
Puphi when she comes next.

Love,

Papu

273

District Jail,
Dehra Dun,
4th May, 1941

Darling Indu,

I have had a long talk with Madan Bhai and he will no doubt tell you
all about it. Madan seems to think that Solan will be a suitable place
for you for two months or so and after that, when the rains are well
set, you will be fit enough to go elsewhere — to Allahabad or Kashmir
or where you like. If you agree with this, certainly go to Solan. You
can decide later what to do afterwards.

On your way to Solan you can pay me a visit, also on your way
down. My next interview is due on Sunday or any day afterwards. I
shall take no other interview and shall not write any letters which
might come in the way of an interview. But you can write to me.

These jail interviews, even when the authorities are lenient (and
this is not likely to be repeated on the same scale), are very
unsatisfactory, welcome as they are. I do not know how to unlock the
doors of my mind and heart, which burst with things to say. Nor do
you, I fancy, for you have found it even more difficult to do so even
outside jail. And then in my long moments of silent thought I wonder
often if words are so important after all. They help of course but only
slightly and when the doors of understanding have been unlocked.
Otherwise they are valueless — just hot air. Having used an abundance
of words all my life, I grow more and more to distrust them. Something

• HOMECOMING •

311

that is vital escapes them. I vt^onder sometimes if my love for you has
been so wanting in something as to prevent those doors from opening.
I seek to find the error, to purge the fault. Meanwhile we grow older
and time passes and events happen — and I draw into my own shell.

In the quiet of Solan, or wherever you may be, you will also do a
lot of thinking. Try to think out things for yourself and build your
thoughts on an integral and integrated mmd. There is nothing so
important as integrity- of thought which is not swept away by
momentary gusts or rumour or hearsay. If we can keep that hard gem-
like flame of mental integrity, our actions are coloured by it and we
grow in the process. Else we remain petty, inconsequential and
unimportant in any real analysis. There is no chance of my coming
out of prison for a long time, and I do not want to. I should hke to
develop more peace and strength of mind and more charity than I
possess. Perhaps the Bodhisatva will help!

Love,

Papu

274

District Jail,
Dehra Dun,
15th May, 1941

Indu,

Why have I suddenly begun writing to you — and today of aU days?
This letter is not meant to be sent to you in the ordinary course and
1 do not know when you wiU see it. I do not know when you will
come to interview me again. Yet the writing of this has suddenly
become an imperative need, an urge I cannot resist, even if I would,
and indeed I have no desire to do so. I hope you will see it some
time.

Letters from prison, with aU manner of evilly inclined folk and
knaves and fools running their eyes through them and, often enough,
blue-pencilling or blacking out passages. How can one write a real,
intimate letter under these circumstances?

During the last twenty years, ever since the first C.D. [Civil
Disobedience] movement or even earlier, I have always had the idea
at the back of my mind that my letters might be read by censors and
the like. My political life and methods were such that there was little

3 12 • TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

secrecy about them, though inevitably there were things I did not
want to shout from the house-tops. But when it came to personal
matters it was a different story. Not that there were any great secrets of
mine which I wished to hide from the public gaze. But no one likes
to undress his mind and soul in public. So, always, through all these
long years, whenever I took pen in hand to write a letter,
subconsciously I kept a check on myself, feeling that strangers would
see that letter.

Perhaps even before these iron bars of the censorship enveloped
us and made me retire a little more into my shell, I had developed a
measure of restraint in expression and behaviour.That too, I am inclined
to think, was a way of self-protection against a fear I always had of
being swept away by too much sentiment. You will be surprised to
find me accusing myself of sentiment, for I show precious htde of it
and [am] much more of a hard-boiled egg, now at any rate. Yet, I fear,
this hardness is only at the surface and underneath hes a sea of sentiment
which has often frightened me. A lifetime of disciplined living and
deliberate training of the mind and body to make them efficient
instruments for the purpose I had in view, has thrown a hard shell
over this turbulent mass and on the whole I feel fairly sure of myself.

What is Papu driving at, you will say. Why all these patches of
early autobiography? Well, I really do not know myself My mind
cooped up for months past is just bursting and if, by some miracle, I
could transfer all those ideas and thoughts to paper suddenly, a fat
volume might materialise! The ideas are not methodically arranged
as they would have to be if I tried to write a book, and they Just
tumble over each other and the poor pen cannot possibly keep pace
with them. But I am not wTiting a book and I do not just see myself
writing a book for some considerable time. I toyed with this writing
idea for weeks and months; I almost sat down to it, but I could not
begin and it grows harder to do so as time goes by.

Why so? Because I cannot write superficially, unless I am writing
a political or non-personal article, and even then it is frightfully difficult
for a person who is an active politician. He may not say everything he
wants to say, he may not discuss frankly his own colleagues or his
opponents, for he has to think of a hundred consequences. Every
word spoken or written has to be weighed, consciously or
subconsciously. How cribbed and confined and imprisoned we are
by these iron bars of the spirit!

If this is so about political matters, how much more difficult it is

• HOMECOMING •

313

about personal matters. Can anyone ever be really frank about oneself,
one’s own emotions and mental struggles, one’s urges and desires
and those half-conscious imaginings which float, dreamlike, through
the mind?

My Autobiography is, I think, about as frank and truthful a document,
both politically and personally, as I could make it. Probably it compares
favourably with others of its kind in this respect. I poured out myself
in It at a time when I was going through much agony of soul. And yet,
in spite of all this pouring out, all the restraints and inhibitions were
there, and I suppressed much that filled my mind and heart. To that
extent 1 was untruthful. Especially this was so in the last few chapters
deahng with my personal life. It was impossible for me to lay bare
my heart before anybody, much less before the world at large.

But these last six years since the Autobiography was written have
had a powerful effect upon me. I have suffered greatly, experienced
many hard knocks in my personal, as well as my political life, saw
some of my ideals become airy nothings and some of my dearest
personal relations fade away. I have survived all this, hardened, matured,
call It what you will. I am now just one and fifty years old. But I feel
as if I was hundreds of years old in mind and the weight of these
centuries lies heavily upon me. If this is the beginning of wisdom,
then I am on the threshold of Saraswati’s haven. But I would barter
this wisdom and experience, so dearly bought, for the lighthearted
unwisdom of my younger days.

How can I write about these six years with any frankness and
throw my naked soul before the public? And if I miss out everything
that really mattered to me, what remains that is worthwhile? These
six or seven years are bound up in my inner life with Kamala and
you. Of course even before this period both of you played a major
part in my personal and inner life. But one takes many things for
granted in one’s younger days; even our struggles have a passing quality.
Apart from this, in the twenties I was totally abnormal. I had a flame-
hke quahty, a fire within me which burned and consumed me and
drove me relentlessly forward; it made me almost oblivious of all
other matters, even of intimate personal relations. I was in fact wholly
unfit as a close companion of anyone except in that one sphere of
thought and action which had enslaved me. Gradually I woke up to
other matters. I realised then, and I realise now even more, what an
unpossible person I must have been to get on with. My very good
qualities, which made me an efiicient instrument for political action.

• TWO ALONb, TWO TOGCTHKR •

3 14

became defects in tlie domestic field. Yet I found, to my infinite joy,
that those I cared for above all else had gladly and willingly tolerated
me and put up with my vagaries. As my awakening proceeded, I
yearned above all else for those closer human contacts of die spirit
with those I loved with all my heart. Unfortunately long and trying
periods of jail came, year after year, and normal life and contacts were
denied. It was in those days of the early thirties that I wrote those
hundreds of letters to you which came out subsequently as Glimpses.
That was one attempt of mine somehow to quench a little the insatiable
thirst that consumed me.

Dadu was dead. He had meant a great deal to me: I was infinitely
proud of him and of the traditions of our family which he had set
up — the traditions of great ability, great courage, great perseverance,
great sacrifice, all directed to the service of India. That tradition it was
my ambition to keep alive in so far as I could.

But father ivas dead. Dol Amma was there, frail, ailing, enveloping
me wdth the overwhelming love of a mother for her son. 1 was very
fond of her but she could take no part in the life I was living. I was
anxious to give her peace and comfort during her few remaining
years. There were my sisters, both of whom were so much younger
than me that my relation to them was partly paternal and partly
brotherly. One of them had married and was, what is called, settled in
life. She had lived since her marriage chiefly in Calcutta, Rajkot and
other places and had lately taken a house with her family in Allahabad.
Although I was very fond of her, she had largely gone out of my life
and lived her own life. The younger sister was with us. The difference
in our ages was so great that I had looked upon her more as a child
than as a sister. Soon after she married and went away. My family life
revolved and centred round two persons — Mummie and you. The
others, however much I liked them, lived their own lives apart fi'om
ours, though there were of course contacts.

Ever since father’s death I felt the burden of a new responsibility:
I was the head of the family and as such must look after, in a sense, my
sisters and make them feel that nothing had changed in their old
home.

But I cannot go on and on with this past history — certainly not
now when the lights are going out. I had not intended to write all this
but it is strange how the pen becomes almost an independent entity
when one writes and sometimes does just what it likes.

• HOMECOMING •

315

May 16

Last night, when I sat down to write, I was trying to explain why the
urge to write to you suddenly took possession of me. And instead of
doing this in a straight fashion, I wandered into the past and began to
lose myself in its mazes. It is an unfortunate way I have with you — as
if I was talking casually and inconsequentially.

What I was driving at was the extraordinary difficulty of my writing
about these past six years in a book. I dared not do it and expose all
my inmost feelings and torments to others. Not that there was any
great secrecy about them, but some things are private and sacred
because of that, especially when others are concerned. I am not a
secretive person but there are limits even for me. There is much that
I could tell you for you have the right to know. But even to you I
could not say everything. It would hurt me and it might hurt you.

So a feeling of suppression grew upon me. In jail this is always so
and I try to find a way of escape m hard work, a regular routine,
spinning, reading etc. In the past writing, doing creative work, has
helped me tremendously. This avenue seemed to be closed this time.

I looked forward to your coming back: you filled my mmd and this
thought of you, tinged with anxiety about your health and journey,
kept me more or less calm in spite of occasional worry.

You arrived — you came to see me. That was an event for me. It
was an event for many others. It was extraordinary how odd people
were interested in this. Everyone in jail was somewhat excited about
it. English police officials and others who saw me on business spoke
about it with some enthusiasm. I felt how both you and I represent
something more than our individual selves. We become symbols in
the minds of countless people.

You arrived and I was happy. But soon a cloud fell on my happiness
for I realised that you were not as well as I had hoped and that there
were troubles ahead of you. My training held, however, and
immediately I grappled with the new problem and gave you advice
as to what you might do. You accepted it for the moment and, though
I had a dull feeling inside me about your health, I felt that we were
going to face the situation in the most effective manner.

You went away. Then Madan came and I learnt that on further
consideration you had decided to follow a different course. Anyway
Madan told me he had made arrangements at Solan and everything
was practically fixed up.

In spite of this disappointment I accepted the new arrangements.

316

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

When I heard later, however, that the Solan visit had fallen through
and that no arrangement was visible, then suddenly I was completely
upset. What was this casualness and inefficiency, I thought, when every
day counted and the heat was at its worst? I grew almost ill with
anxiety and could do nothing but pace up and down like a caged
animal, fretting at my inability to help you. It was absurd my not
being able to help my ovm daughter when she required this help
most. A word or a whisper from me and thousands all over the country
would gladly do everything in their power for you. Yet things had
taken such a shape that I could do little and had left everything to
Madan. The whole thing was fantastic, absurd in its folly. Fancy
everything being hung up because you had nowhere to go to!

So I raged for two days and life became a terrible burden. I could
do no work, could not even spin which soothes me. I could .sleep
with difficulty and would suddenly sit up in the middle of the night
unable to control or direct the ideas that battered my mind. Yesterday
morning I got up about four a.m. and decided to write to Madan. I
sent him this letter. This relieved me somewhat, for at any rate I had
taken some step.

But still my mind was ill at ease. I longed to meet you and talk to
you. The desire to do so almost overwhelmed me. Yet I could not
even write for an official jail letter was no good.

In the evening it struck me suddenly that I could write to you
fuUy and frankly, even though my letter might not be sent to you.
Later perhaps you might see it. This was just a subterfuge, a trick, and
yet, would you believe it? My mind calmed down immediately. I
grasped at this way out.

At last I sat down to write to you. And this was the beginning last
night. . . . [incomplete]

275

St Clair Cottage,
Mussooric,
22ud May, [1941]

Darling Papu,

We have just arrived. We reached St Clair Cottage to find the curtains
up & vases of flowers and everything — just as if people had been
living in it for weeks.

• HOMECOMING •

317

The cottage is tiny: two very small bedrooms with Lilliputian
bathrooms, one dining room & one drawing room. I am thinking of
acquiring the drawing room as a bedroom for myself — the dining
room can serve for sitting room as well. That will leave the two
bedrooms for Madanbhai & Upadhyaya.

Here is a plan of St Clair Cottage.

I am afraid this is aU out of perspective but it will give some idea.
All the rooms have lots of windows and are, I am told, sunny and airy.
The view is lovely. And of course it is delightfully cool.

Darling — ^please don’t worry. Everything will be all right. I was
quite shocked to see how you had changed since I saw you last. You
mustn’t let these things get you down.

In some of your letters you have talked of joy and fulfilment. I
have found mine. I have a serene happiness surging up from within,
that no one and nothing can mar or take away from me. All troubles —
illness and discomfort and disputes — -just seem to sail away on the
surface without really touching me. Most people spend their lives
waiting for happiness but the cup always seems to be just a little
beyond their reach and they have not the courage to stretch their
arms to grasp it. I took it in my two hands and drank deep into it —
and it entered into every nerve and tissue of my mind and body, and
bathed me in its rich warm calmness. I have this now and forever.
Happiness is undefinable — ^how can my feeble attempts at description
suffice when the great writers of the world have not succeeded? But I
hope 1 have been able to convey at least one small part of what I feel.

1 am glad to be alone. I was thinking of asking some friends to

318

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

come up when Madanbhai goes away but I think I would rather be
quite alone. I get on remarkably well with myself, which is a good
thing. I forgot to bring the gramophone — or rather left it behind for
lack of records. But I think I shall send for it & start buying a few
good records one by one. I am starving for good music, especially
Beethoven. It is a pity you have not made friends with him. He is the
very essence of poetry, and he fits in to every mood — ^but I am always
attempting the impossible; first I try to define Happiness and now,
Beethovens music!

I love you a lot and I am worried about you just as much as you are
about me. So keep your sunny side up & look a lot better when I see
you next.

Much love,
Indu

276

District Jail,
Dehra Dim,
26th May, 1941

Darling Indu,

I am very glad you are (more or less) comfortably established in your
Httle cottage.

It is a comfort to know that you are not far fix)m me and that news
of you can reach me quickly. But I am sure that the first thing you
should attend to is your rest and treatment. All this long journeying,
ever since you left Switzerland many months ago, must have been
exhausting and one can take no risks with your health.

I am very fond of Beethoven, but my life has been spent far from
the cultivation of the graces and pleasures which sometimes accompany
it. I suppose I must not complain, for I have got a great deal out of it
in my own way. Happiness is rather a fleeting thing, a sense of
fulfilment is perhaps more abiding.

But I was writing about music. Get the gramophone and records
by aU means. It struck me that a radio might be useful. So with the
help of some friends I have tried to make arrangements for a radio to
be sent to you.

Did Upadhyaya order the books I wanted? I forget to ask him. I
sent the list with Puphi.They were chiefly Plato’s and the Greek plays

• HOMECOMING •

319

translated by Gilbert Murray.

Another book I have been wanting for a long time (and asking
Upadhyaya for it) has been Kavita Kaumudi Part I. We had it in the
library but it has disappeared. So a new copy can be obtained.

All my love,
Your loving,
Papu

277

St Clair Cottage,
Mussoorie,
28th May, 1941

Darling Papu,

Why did you bother about a radio? It is sweet of you. But we are
spending so much already & these little things add up tremendously.
Anyway the radio has not yet arrived.

I am sorry you did not get the things you asked for. I personally
was quite unaware that you had asked for them. Upadhyaya says he
was not told either. I am writing to Allahabad.

I have brought a most odd collection of books with me. Among
them; Africa Danes’ Living Philosophies, Uncle Tom’s Children, Ernst
Toller’s Letters from Prison & I was a German. And two or three others.

The most attractive things in the whole house are a couple of
postcard-size reproductions of two paintings of Franz Marc.^ Have
you seen any of his work, I wonder? The Red Horses, which is in
Chhoti Puphi’s sitting room, is one of his. His pictures are rather Hke
Roy Campbell’s^ poetry, splashed with bright colours, brinuning over
with vitahty and strength. So alive. And very decorative.

I enclose a picture in words — Mrs Reece Laughs by Armstrong. It
doesn’t pretend to be great poetry or a thing of beauty. But as a picture,
isnt it perfect? It always amuses me when I am not feehng too bright.
And doesn’t it remind you of Ammaji Thussu^ and so many other
similar women! I had a landlady like that once — a Dutchwoman.

1. Franz Marc (1880-1916): German painter, known especially for his paintings of
animals

2 Roy Campbell British poet.

3. One of the senior ladies of the Thussu family Swarup Rani Nehru, Indira’s
grandmother, came from this family.

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

3 20

Lots and lots of love,
Your,
Indu

Mrs Reece Laughs

Laughter, with us, is no great undertaking,

A sudden wave that breaks and dies in breaking.

Laughter, with Mrs Reece, is much less simple:

It germinates, it spreads, dimple by dimple.

From small beginnings, things of easy girth.

To formidable redundancies of mirth.

Clusters of subterranean chuckles rise

And presently the circles of her eyes

Close into slits, and all the woman heaves

As a great elm with all its mound of leaves

Wallows before the storm. From hidden sources

A mustering of blind volcanic forces

Takes her and shakes her till she sobs and gapes.

Then all that load of bottled mirth escapes
In one wild crow, a lifting of huge hands
And creaking stays, and visage that expands
In scarlet ridge and furrow. Thence collapse,

A hanging head, a feeble hand that flaps
An apron-end to stir an air and waft
A steaming face. And Mrs Reece has laughed.

Martin Armstrong

278

[Mussoorie],
2nd June, 1941

Darling,

I am in the throes of remorse and regret — as usual, when it is too late
to remedy what has or, as in this case, has not been done. I am writing
this because I believe one should always admit one’s mistakes even
though it be too late to remedy them.

How simple, practical and obvious was your advice! It was only
my blind prejudice which prevented me from following it. Truly it is

• HOMECOMING •

321

feebleminded to let oneself be so influenced by prejudice. What I
am bitterly regretting now is not the consequence to myself. I am
amazed at my selfishness. I should have lumped my feelings and
thought a little of your feehngs. I seem to hurt you on purpose. I do
not know what will be the result of this Calcutta visit. ^ To you it has
already brought endless worry. Worry that I could so easily have
prevented. Is it any use saying forgive me?

I can only hope and pray that this worry will soon be at an end. I
can only hope and pray that this will be a lesson for me to be less
stubborn. For this episode only proves how much I need you — how
utterly lost 1 am without you. I have been so arrogant and stupid. I
tried to sail out on my own before I knew the rudiments of managing
a boat. I deserve to sink. And yet that would cause you so much pain.

‘“Take what you want — Take it, and pay for it” said God’ — so
runs an old Spanish proverb. But why, oh why, must others pay too?

In some of your letters you say that you do not wish to impose
yourself or your advice. Perhaps it is my own attitude that has made
you feel this way. For that I am sincerely sorry. Far from being an
imposition, your advice is the strongest prop on which I can lean —
for my own legs are pretty shaky. And I can only explain my former
attitude in one way — that I did not realise how necessary this prop
was to me until it was proved to me that my legs would give way
tvithout it.

And so the erring child asks for forgiveness, and asks too that you
believe her when she says that she loves you . . . Tons les jours je t’aime
daimtage, attjourd’hui plus qiThier et bicn inoins que demain? For each
day I discover something in you which moves me profoundly and
makes you more precious and infinitely dearer. I seem to be just
beginning to have a glimpse at the beauty and the richness in you. In
the past you were rather an [unjapproachable being, always so
immersed in work and, for all your love of fun, I was rather scared of
you — ^you seemed so high up. One feels so inferior when you are
about and I suppose that unconsciously one resents it.

With very much love,
Indu

3 The proposed Calcutta visit was for a medical consultation.

2 . . .With every passing day I love your more 6c more, today more than yesterday and
much less than tomorrow.

322 • TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

279

Distria Jail,
Dehra Dun,
12 th June, 1941

Darling Indu,

I wonder when you will come back this way. I suppose you will stay
on in Calcutta for another week at least as Dr Roy wnts to keep you
under observation.

Just outside our barrack wall there is a little channel for canal
water to pass through to the field. Right through the summer this
channel was used once or twice a fortnight and the water pouring
down it, and gurgling as it went, made a merry noise. Especially at
night, it was pleasant to hear this sound of running water.

A noise like of a hidden brook
In the leafy month of June,

That to the sleeping woods all night
Singeth a quiet tune . . .

I suppose in prison one’s ears grow sharper and many other senses,
which lie dormant during an active life outside, waken up and so
open out a new world of sensation, just as a blind man becomes far
more sensitive in other ways. Birds and insects and of course flowers
become real companions whose acquaintance we renew fiom day to
day. A creeper is a fascinating thing. Have you ever watched its sensitive
feelers — how fuU of life they are! — creeping on and on and holding
on to twig or string or wall? In Sanskrit poetry women are always
likened to creepers! Bengali names of girls are full of Lata ’s.^

Good firiends in Dehra Dun have been sending us firuit — ^luscious,
delicious fimit grown here on the foothills or from other places. Grapes,
locally grown, plums, pineapples (not grown here!), langras and dasehris
just beginning and fine apples. Yesterday we had a pleasant surprise
when a basket of lovely cherries aU the way from Kashmir came our
way. So you see we have compensations in jail!

I am beginning to think again of doing some writing work. For
the moment I am just playing about with the idea, revolving it in my

1. Lata in Sansknt means a ‘creeper’.

• HOMECOMING •

323

mind, sometimes pushing it away, and then allowing it to come nearer.
I know that once I give in to it, it will obsess me and my pen wiU
become a tyrant ordering me about and interfering with my
programme and other activities.

American reviews of my book have had curious reactions on me.
Pleasant of course. And yet all this talk about style and lucidity rather
frightens me. I wrote previously without thinking of style. I had to
say something and I said it as simply and effectively as possible. Now
I cannot forget that I have to keep up to a certain style and standard
and this continuing reminder is a nuisance.

What IS this much-praised style of mine, I begin to think? A certain
simphcity and a certain lucidity in short sentences, partly due to clear
thinking and having something to say. But partly also, I think, to a
certain rhythm and a love of the sound of words. I hate an ill-balanced
sentence. It jars. Why this rhythm? I do not know. It is not just an
external thing, an ear for it or an eye to balance it. It has to do ultimately
with a mental rhythm, or perhaps something even deeper than that.
During these past twenty years or so, while you have been growing
up, slowly this sense of rhythm in life has grown within me as ideas
and action fitted in, or at least approached each other. It is a soothing
and comforting experience and it helps greatly in the tug-of-war of
life.

It is curious how the manner of writing (even more than the
manner of speaking) betrays a person. The style is the man, they say.
When outside prison I get a large number of letters from strangers
and I have developed a habit of drawing a mental picture of the writer
from the few sentences he may have written.

I should like you to ask Dr Roy about breathing exercises. Can
you do them regularly? Personally I am a great behever in them, not
only for bodily health but to some extent for mental health also. These
exercises bring rhythm (I am at it again!) to the breathing and through
It to the whole bodily system. They create the background and
environment for composure and mental calm. Look at a person in a
temper or one who is agitated. He breathes heavily and shortly. It is a
litde difficult to conceive of a person who breathes deeply and regularly
becoming easily agitated! So I would hke you to try these exercises
and hold on to them.

Your loving,
Papu

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

3 24

280

Indira Nelmi,
c/o Dr B C Roy,
36, Wellington Street,
Calcutta,
16th June, 1941

Darling Papu,

Upadhyaya has gone to Allahabad. There has been a new arrival in
his family. I do not know whether it’s a boy or a girl, but guess it must
be the latter because of the lack of enthusiasm.

The monsoon has started in right earnest. Outside, trees and leaves
are bright in a varnish of rain. Big, beautifully-shaped drops, round
and perfect as pearls, balance themselves on the tips of petals of flowers
and blades of grass.

I have been given a horrid bitter tonic. It contains all sorts of
essentials — iron phosphates, calcium phosphates & what nots. Who
was it that said, ‘The drive to take medicine is perhaps the greatest
feature which distinguishes man from animals’?

. . . Here is a delightful story about praying. A little Negro boy was
competing in a race. He kept dropping behind and his chances seemed
slim; then suddenly his lips began to move with great regularity, his
legs picked up speed, and he won the race. Asked later what he was
whispering to himself, he said he was talking to the Lord, saying over
and over: ‘Lawd, you pick ‘em up, and I’ll put ‘em down. You pick ‘em
up, and rU put ‘em down.’ Isn’t it sweet?

Much love,
Indu

281

District Jail,
Dehra Dun,
29th June, 1941

Darling Indu,

It was a joy to see you [the] day before yesterday after three and a half
weelcs. The interview ended all too soon. I want to make up for all
your long absences from me. There is so much I want to ask you, to
teU you, to discuss with you. Not argument and debate — the less we

326

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

have yet to be written. But we cannot wait for them. We must profit
by what we have got. Indeed there are far more books now on the
subject than there were when I was a boy. I remember well still the
excitement v^th which I saw and read Vincent Smith’s Early History of
India. I was very young then and did not understand all I read. But
this book suddenly opened out vast vistas before me and India’s past,
which had been a blank in my mind, became filled with great deeds.
That book ofVincent Smith’s, though far firom good (no English I.C.S.
[Indian Civil Service] man can write a really good book about India)
was the first of its kind and it created, not only in me but in others, a
new outlook and a certain pride in our past.

Havell’s History of Aryan Rule in India is not very good history
(official historians disfike HaveU intensely) but it is a good book,
imaginative, understanding and based on the artistic record of India.
HaveU was an artist. One book worth reading for the British period is
Thompson & Garrett’s Rise & Fulfilment of British Rule in India.
(Thompson is our old firiend of Boars HiU.) This is a hefty tome but
fight reading. We might as weU know something of this sorry record
of British rule which we want to displace.

It would also be worthwhile for you to go to our oldest history
book — the Rajatarangini^ which Ranjit translated in prison. This book
is a big one. Many parts of it are duU reading, some parts are very
interesting. As a whole it is a tour de force of Kalhana, the author. Ranjit’s
translation has many appendices which are important.

Have you read Kafidas’s Shakuntala? or the Mrichhakatika?^ The play
Ranjit has been recently translating — the Mudrarakshasa^ — should be
read also. It is peculiarly interesting just at present as it deals with
politics and war and spying and fifth column activity etc — aU over
2000 years ago!

Write to Amma (Nani) some time. When you do so send her my
love.

Love,

Your,

• - Papu

1. Rajatarangini (River of Kings): a poem in Sanskrit by Kalhana, narrating the history
of Kashmir up to the tsvelfth century.

2. Mrkhchakatika (orThe Clay Cart); a drama in Sanskrit by King Shudraka, vmtten in
the first or second century AD.

3. Mudrarakshasa (The Signet of the Minister): a drama in Sanskrit by Vishakadatta,
dating back to the eleventh or twelfth century AD.

• HOMECOMING •

327

282

District Jail,
Dehra Dun,
28th July, 1941

Darling Indu,

During the past few months I have read many books on
mountaineering in India — almost always among the Garhwal
mountains. I was surprised and pleased to find that there is complete
agreement among those Englishmen & Americans who have taken
part in these expeditions that Garhwal has the most beautiful mountains
and valleys m the world. This really applies to the higher regions of
Garhwal and not to the dusty and rather bare valleys and hillsides
below. In these upper regions there is an extraordinary and enchanting
mixture of magnificent snow peaks, thick forests and valleys carpeted
with lovely flowers. Indeed of one such valley, appropriately named
the Valley of Flowers, it is said that it has no rival anywhere.

You and I, in our respective abodes, are on the verge of Garhwal.
I can see the Garhwal foothills from here and a longish walk will take
you to the district boundary. The knowledge of this surpassing beauty,
so near us and yet so far from this warring world, so peaceful and
unperturbed by human foUy, excites me. Those strange people who
were our ancestors in the long ago felt tire wonder of these mountains
and valleys and, with the unerring instinct of genius, yoked this sense
of awe and wonder to man s old yearning for something higher than
life’s daily toil and conflicts offered, something with the impress of
the eternal upon it. And so for two thousand years or more,
innumerable pilgrim souls have marched through these valleys and
mountains to Badrinath and Kedarnath and Gangotri, from where
the baby Ganga emerges, so tiny and frolicsome, but to grow and
grow in her long wandering till she becomes the noble river that
sweeps by Prayag and Kashi and beyond.

Shall I ever go wandering again in these mountains, and pierce
the forest and cUmb the snows and feel the thrill of the precipice and
the deep gorge? And then lie in deep content on a thick carpet of
mountain flowers and gaze on the fiery splendour of the peaks as
they catch the rays of the setting sun? Shall I sit by the side of the
youthful and turbulent Ganga in her mountain home and watch her
throw her head in a swirl of icy spray in pride and defiance, or creep
round lovingly some favoured rock and take it into her embrace?

328

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

And then rush down joyously over the boulders and hurl herself with
a mighty shout over some great precipice? I have known her so long
as a sedate lady, seemingly calm but, for aU that, the fire is in her veins
even then, the fiery vitality of youth and the spirit of adventure, and
this breaks out from time to time when her peaceful waters seem
angry and tumble over each other and spread out over vast areas.

I love the rivers of India and I should like to explore them firom
end to end, and to go back deep into the dawn of history and watch
the processions of men and women, of cultures and civilisations, going
down the broad streams of these rivers. The Indus, the Brahmaputra,
the Ganga, and also that very lovable river of ours — the Jamuna.

How I begin musing when I write to you.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

283

District Jail,
Dehra Dun,
17th September, 1941

Darling,

I hope you are flourishing and profiting by the drier weather. The
real good weather in Mussoorie will begin soon.

For the past two years it has been my practice to buy some khadi
hundies^ during Gandhi Jayanti and distribute these — some to
Upadhyaya, some to the servants. I think this might be kept up. I am
therefore enclosing a cheque for Rs 100.

The hiwdies should be distributed in this way:

Upadhyaya — 30/-
Bhola — 10/-

Hari — 10/- I suppose he will soon be out
Other servants — 50/- division as you like

But remember that my favourite is Lakchamania, who is the oldest
member of our household.

1 . Coupons for buying cloth

• HOMECOMING •

329

I have got a copy at last of Tlie Unity of India. It was sent by a friend
who purchased it in Delhi. I like the get-up of the book. Krishna has
taken a lot of trouble over it.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

284

Wardha,
16th March, 1942^

Indu darling,

Maulana has just sent me a pair of pearl bracelets (I suppose that is
the right name) for you. They are not frightfully expensive I suppose
but stiU such gifts, especially from the Maulana, are a Httle embarrassing.
Kamalnayan^ says he will be coming to the wedding.^

Please have a No. 3 (Party card) sent to Raghupati Sahai of the
University. He is a lecturer, I think in the English Dept. He is an old
colleague of mine who drifted away and became rather useless. He is
a bit of an Urdu poet with the poetic name of Firaq.

Also I think No. 3 invitation should be sent to Mr & Mrs Bhagwat
Dayal — also of the University — & Kayastha Pathshala. I had, rather
dehberately, left his name out when we were trying to limit the Hsts.
But now that many other names have been included, I think he might
be added also.

The invitations had better be sent to Mr & Mrs.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

1 Jawaharlal Nehru was released from pnson about ten weeks after he wrote letter No
283, dated 17 September 1941. Since he and Indira were together atAnand Bhawan,
there is a six-month break in the correspondence.

2 Kanialnayan Bajaj; son ofjamnalal Bajaj

3- The reference is to Indira’s wedding — ^26 March 1942

330

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

285

New Delhi,
7th April, 1942

Darling,

I have had no news from you, except for your telegram^ since I came
here. We tussle daily with problems and they take new turns and put
on new shapes. And so we go on from day to day and meanwhile war
has reached India.^

Madame Chiang wrote to me that she wanted to send you as a
wedding gift something she had valued in her girlhood. I do not
know what this is but she was trying to get it from some odd place.

The other day I met Shuaib Qureshi^ here and he expressed his
sorrow at not having been invited to your marriage. I am sorry I
missed him out. I remember his sending a telegram of congratulations.
I would like you to write to him and thank him for his good wishes.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

You might also write a few lines to Sir Stafford Cripps'* to thank
him for the good wishes he sent you through me.

286

5 Fort Road^
Allahabad,
9th April, [1942]

Darling Papu,

About Kashmir nothing is definite yet. There is an increasing likelihood

1. Telegram not traceable.

2. After the fall ofBurma in March 1942 the Japanese armies stood on the Indian fiontier.

3. Shuaib Qureshi: son-in-law of Maulana Mohamed Ali; journalist and politician;
moved to Pakistan after partition; was later Ambassador of Pakistan to U.S.S.R.,
1949-52, and High Comrmssioner in India 1952—3.

4. The socialist politician who was head of a mission to India in 1 942 for constitutional
talks with Indian leaders.

5. As already indicated Indira and Feroze were married on 26 March 1942. After their
marriage they set up house (the Tagore Town house) at 5 Fort Road, now known as
Jawaharlal Nehm Road.

• HOMECOMING •

351

of all transport being dislocated as soon as the Japanese strike at any
of the important junctions. I don’t like the idea of being cut off in far-
off Kashmir. And if anything is to happen in Allahabad I want to be
here. I don’t really feel like going away at all. This is no time for
anybody to take a holiday — can’t I stay and do something? I’m so
tired of being at a loose end.

Much love,
Indu

287

Tlie White House,
Mtirrce,
25th May, 1942

Darling Papu,

We had a fairly busy time in Lahore after you left — but I enjoyed
myself. Yunus, with the help of Nawabzada Saheb, made most efficient
arrangements for our journey. We had a first class coupe, very clean
and cool (for water was sprayed on the roof). We reached Pindi at
seven forty-five a.m. and were met by the Sardar. After a quick bath &
breakfast we drove here in a spacious and very posh Plymouth, arriving
just in time for lunch. It is very pleasant here. We leave for Srinagar
tomorrow morning.

Very much love,
Indu

288

Wardha,
21th May, 1942

Darling Indu,

I came in direct from Delhi. I felt that I must see Bapu as soon as
possible even though for a short while.

In Delhi 1 met Louis Fischer (the man who was in Russia for
many years as Nation’s correspondent). I shall probably see more of
him.

332

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

At Delhi also I learnt of Ballo’s^ return from a somewhat odd
source. A certain Colonel or Captain Schuiter rolled up at Rajan’s^
place on a motor bicycle and informed me that he had flown over
with my nephew. He added that Lady WiUingdon^ had sent me her
love! Also that he was a Harrow man. He was a tail, Haw-Haw type of
a person.

I hope you had a good journey and are comfortably housed in
Srinagar. Do not hurry back to the plains. On your way back, if it is
possible, you might visit the Frontier Province and spend a day or
two with Dr Edian Sahib'^ in Peshawar. You should of course see Abdul
Ghaffar Khan also but I am more anxious about Khan Sahib. As you
know, he had a difficult time recently and has been surrounded by
hostility. Every manifestation of fiiendship and aflfection will be good
for him.

Give my love to BaUo and remember me to Sheikh Abdullah.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

289

Srinagcir,
[nth July, 1942]

Nehru,

Anand Bhawan,

Allahabad

Back firom Kolahoi brown as chocolate fit.

Happy love

Indu

1. Balwant Kumar Nehru; son ofjawaharlal Nehru’s first cousin, Brijlal Nehru.

2. Rajan Nehru: wife ofjawaharlal Nehru’s nephew Ratan Kumar Nehru.

3. Lady Willingdon; wife of Lord Willingdon, the Viceroy and Governor-General of
India, 1931—6.

4. Dr Klian Sahib; brother of Abdul Ghaffar Khan (see Pohtical Circle) and a friend of
Jawaharlal during his student days in London;Pnme Minister, North-West Frontier
Province, 1937-9 and 1945-7; Chief Minister, West Pabstan, 1955-7.

• HOMECOMING •

333

290

Mohanmarg,
5th July, 1942

Darling Papu,

Do forgive me for not writing for such ages. When one has nothing to
do one seems to get all the lazier. And then, I am so full of the joy of
discovering Kashmir. I just had not realised it was so very beautiful.

On our return from Kolahoi we went straight to Srinagar without
stopping even at Pahalgam. Soon afterwards the Vakils left for Bombay
and Sheikh Saheb took us to Gulmarg. I agree with you about
Gulmarg — I don’t like it one bit, but Sheikh Saheb was very keen on
our staying with his family for a few days. We spent four days there —
Yunus was with us. Then we came to Srinagar and spent three days
on a houseboat. Three glorious moonlit nights.

On to Mohanmarg — King of Margs. Truly if there is a heaven it
must be this. There is nothing in Switzerland to compare with these
flower-fiUed slopes, the sweet-scented breezes. Maybe there are other
things besides running water that pour over the soul the anodyne of
forgetfulness and peace. I wish I could stay on here longer. But we
have tied up our plans with Yunus and so tomorrow we proceed to
Sonemarg.

How you would love it here — ^yesterday we got up at five to see
the sunrise on Nanga Parbat. It will be a rude shock to find ourselves,
one hot and sticky day, in the ugliness of Allahabad.

Since I cannot bottle the beauty of Mohanmarg, I am sending you
two little flowers as a token — forget-me-not and edelweiss. They both
grow in abundance along with anemone, buttercups, Dutch sHppers
and a host of other so-called Alpine flowers. There are some wild
animals as well but the only one we have seen is the marmot, which
is like a giant rat. Rather sweet and soft.

Feroze has taken some films. I hope they will come out well. We
have not seen them ourselves yet.

Feroze sends his love & Yunus his salaam.

Much love,
Indu

P.S.

I enclose a letter on birch-bark from Sheikh Saheb.

Indu

334

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

[1942 ivas a momentous year for India and for the Nelims. Within the country
there mas a massive growth of sentiment for liberation from British mle. In
response to this, Congress leaders, including fawaharlal Nehru, who was
accompanied by Indira and her husband, Feroze, assembled in Bombay and on
8th August adopted a resolution — popularly known as the Quit India
Resolution — asking the British to hand over India to her people, fawaharlal
Nehru was arrested on 9th August and imprisoned in Ahmadnagar Fort. The
entire country was shaken by an anti-British upsurge for the next few months,
which was controlled by the British Government through repression.]

291

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
4th September, 1942

Darling Papu,

It is good news indeed that I may write to you and, it may be, receive
letters from you.

There are four of us staying here now. Tara, Rita, their new Chinese
governess, Mrs Chew, and I. Chand is with her mother. Mrs Chew is
a refugee from Singapore. She is thirty-one years old and rather nice.
There was great excitement at lunch today. Remembering how thrilled
Mr Woo was when we produced chopsticks, I had them brought out
for Mrs Chew.

Because of the military,^ we have got several new restaurants and
even the oldest & most decrepit are doing good business. Among the
new is a Chinese restaurant and a place which calls itself the ‘Broadway
Blues’. They both look pretty dismal from outside. I don’t think
anything will ever look ‘gay’ in Allahabad — ^leastways not until we
have the sort of parties we used to long ago in Anand Bhawan.

. . . At the moment there is a blot on our horizon. You must
remember how poor little Tangle was not looking too bright before
we went to Bombay. Latterly he just got worse & worse until suddenly
he started having the most awfully painful fits. He would give piteous
cries and writhe in agony. The vet tried all sorts of things but in the
end we had to have him destroyed. We all miss him awfully,

Johnnie Walker^ is still going strong. He is less vicious now and

1 . The reference is to soldiers posted in India during the war.

2. A pet dog.

• HOMECOMING •

335

doesn’t greet every arrival & departure with his awful trumpeting.
He has acquired a rather distant companion in the shape of a peacock
who is also living in the garden. They do not seem to care much for
each other’s company, or it may be they have both got used to sohtude.

Everybody here sends you heaps & heaps of love and a tight hug
from

Your loving
Indu

292

Amnd Bhawan,
Allahabad,
9th September, 1942

Darling Papu,

Why still no news of you? Puphi has had a letter from Rajabhai and
Bebee from her mother.^ Bebee writes every two days asking after
you and, of course, I have no more news than she. Did you get my
letter?

The latest addition to the menage is a monkey! I am afraid he is
most unwelcome. He has been coming for the last three days making
a thorough nuisance of himself. This afternoon he locked himself in
the kitchen and ate up all our vegetables, so that it is extremely doubtful
whether we will have any dinner! I think he must be somebody’s pet,
for he is very well-fed and has a lovely silky coat.

Very much love,
Indu

1. Raja Hutheesing and Sarojini Naidu (Bebee’s mother) were imprisoned, as was
Jawaharlal Nehru, during the ‘Quit India’ movement.The former two were able to
communicate with their relatives. Jawaharlal Nehru refused to accept the condiaons
of censorship

Section II
Prison Walls

( 1942 - 1945 )

[Indira and her husband, Feroze, were fully dramt into the tumultuous events
of 1942. On their return to Allahabad front Bombay, after the passing of the
Quit India Resolution, they organised the anti-British agitation in Allahabad.
On iOth September Feroze was arrested for convening a public meeting and
Indira was arrested while addressing it. Both were taken to Naini Prison, but
were lodged in different sections, unable to communicate with each other. Later
Feroze was moved to Faizabad Jail. Indira shared prison life with Vijaya
Lakshmi Pandit, Chandralekha Mehta, Purnima Banetjee (Nora) and Vimla
Varma, and was released on 13th May, 1943. Feroze was released from
Faizabad Jail on 8th July, 1943 on grounds of ill health.]

293

Somewhere in India,
but not at Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
18th September, 1942

Darling Indu,

It is now a month and nine days since I said goodbye to you and came
here and for the first time I am writing a letter. About three weeks ago
we were told that we could write letters subject to a number of
restrictions and limitations. Yet I have not written aU this time to
anyone, much as I would have liked to write to you. But being
somewhat perverse by nature I did not take kindly to these restrictions
and I postponed writing till I felt in a better mood for it.

I was very happy to get your letter and to know that you were well
and flourishing.

As for myself, there is Httle to say. You know that I can manage to
fit in almost anywhere and keep my body and mind in active condition.
One of my numerous failings is that I expect others to do so also and
when they do not keep up to the mark, I become a nuisance to
them. Here I have Mahmud especially to look after, with all his
ailments, and I am not sure whether he enjoys all my ministrations
and good advice which he receives in great abundance. So also others
m a lesser degree.

I have enough clothes and other necessaries for the time being.

As for books, of course, they are always welcome. When I came
here I had three with me: Plato’s Republic, Marcel Proust’s A la recherche
du temps perdu (2 vols) and Lin Yu-tang’s With Love and Irony — an odd

340

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

mixture. I read through Plato again in a leisurely way, allowing myself
to absorb him as far as I could and adding to my admiration for him.
Proust seemed to belong to some other and far-away world, or like
faint memories of a vanishing age. And yet he wrote these books after
I had left Cambridge. How this world of ours has changed and is
changing!

In prison I go back almost automatically to good old classical
literature.

Maulana is an extraordinarily interesting compardon. The more I
know him, and I have known him now for over twenty-one years, the
more I find in him. I wish I could profit more by this enforced
companionship. Meanwhile, I am having a peep into Urdu poetry.
He tells me, or rather writes for me, a verse or two daily.

There is one small matter which has been in my mind for some
time. I presume market prices have risen and are rising from day to
day. This must affect our servants greatly. They were being given some
kind of extra allowance but in view of the rise in prices, this cannot
go far. I want them to be treated fairly and generously in tliis matter. I
am writing to Betty about this matter so that she can communicate
with Ladli Bhai.

How does one spend one’s time in prison, the ignorant wonder?
There is reading and writing of course. But apart from this there are
innumerable other activities which are fascinating. I remember
spending long hours in Dehra Dun watching ants and wasps and
various insects. It was not a cold-blooded scientific survey but a human,
fnendly companionship, and I grew quite fond of them. Here, on a
very ordinary patch of wild grass and dried-up ground within our
prison yard with a few pebbles lying about, we have discovered an
amazing collection of fine stones of all manner of colours. AsafAli is
particularly expert at this game. We are building up almost a museum
of these.

I do not know where you are, but wherever you may be I hope it
is well with you, my dear. Send my love to Feroze.

[Your loving,]
Papu

1 . A Congressman of Delhi; later Indian Ambassador to the United States.

• PRISON WALLS •

341

294

From the Unmentionable Place!

15th October, 1942

Darling Indu,

It is nearly a month now since I heard from you or wrote to you.

What do you do? How do you occupy yourself? There is nothing
like taking to gardening. Even apart from the beauty that flowers give
to our surroundings, the joy of tending them and seeing them grow
and bloom from day to day is a fascinating business.

So I hope you will take to gardening. It does not matter much
whether you do it well or badly, whether you arrange the flowers in
the right order or not. It is the act of doing it that matters and one
learns more from this than from books. I suppose you can easily get
flower seeds. Sweet peas are, I think, the most suitable flowers for one
in jail. They appeal equally to the sight and the sense of smell. Get
good tools. It is pleasant to use a clean good tool. You should not dig.
But there are many other operations that you could do

For the last month or more we have been thinking of growing
flowers here. The soil is none too good, being stony, but that can be
remedied with labour. We have been trying to get seeds — so far without
success. Meanwhile, I have been doing a fair amount of digging and
that is good in itself. I feel pleasantly weary afterwards and a sense of
well-being fills me. I was a little afraid that I might not be able to dig
as my right arm has grown strangely weak during the past year and
even a hard game of badminton was a painful affair. I discovered this
in Dehra Dun and I think I told you about it then.

But, strange to say, digging, though a much heavier task, did not
affect the forearm that way. It was the turning and twisting of badminton
that gave twinges of pain. In addition, I have been carrying on with
some other moderate exercises, the shirshasana, etc, and of course
breathing.

I have just finished reading Hogben s Science for the Citizen — a
huge tome of nearly 1100 pages, with Horrabin’s illustrations. It is an
amazing performance, this book, and though sometimes it is heavy
reading and the mathematical formulae are none too easy, on the
whole It is an astonishingly good book. I am anxious now to read
Hogben’s other book — Mathematics for the Millions — but I cannot get
it.

Another fat tome that I am reading now, but a very different one.

342

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

is an ancient Chinese novel, ^ written at various times several centuries
ago. I have Pearl Buck’s translation and it runs to 1279 pages!

This [is] an ideal opportunity for me to improve my Urdu. Maulana
writes down for me an Urdu couplet or two every other day out of
the vast stores accumulated in his mind. Thus I am getting an insight
into Urdu poetry. He has an astonishing memory and his information
on a variety of subjects is encyclopaedic. He is soaked in the lore of
the Middle Ages and especially of the Arab world and Western Asia
and India during Muslim times. He has Plato and Aristotle at his
fingertips and is perfectly at home at Cordoba^ of Arab Spain. He is
full of intimate anecdotes of kings and scholars of the past. It seems
such a pity that with such vast learning and a very unusually keen
mind and a powerful style, he should have written so little, when
third-rate people are continually producing tenth-rate books. Do you
know that when he was barely fifteen he was delivering lectures in
logic and philosophy to learned audiences!

I write on — but I must take pity on the various bright persons
who win have to read through all this — all the Sherlock Holmeses
and the Watsons, chiefly the latter — and whose eagle eyes are ever in
search of lese majeste against the British imperial fabric. But if I write
too much, they might roll themselves in wrath and wreak vengeance
on this letter, consigning it to some dusty pigeonhole.

My love to you,
Your loving,
Papu

295

[Ahmaduagar Fort Prison,]
5th March, 1943

Darling Indu,

What an age it is since I wrote to you or had a letter fi-om you! Ever
since you were a tiny tot and learnt laboriously to spell out your
letters and write a fantastic hand, I do not think there has ever been
such a lengthy period without my writing to you. Whether I was m

1 . All Men Are Brothers, translntion of the Cliinese classic Slitii Itti Chuan by Shih Nai-an

2. During the Omayyad period (756—1031), Cordoba was a centre of Muslim and
Jewish cultures and a seat of learning.

• PRISON WALLS •

343

prison or you were thousands of miles away, I continued to write
from time to time. Not so this time. Need I say how I have missed
this? Long afterwards I learnt that my letters did not reach you as no
letters were allowed to detenus in the U.P.,’ nor were they allowed to
write.

More than two months ago I read in some newspaper that you
were now allowed to write. I am writing now hardly a proper letter,
but more to find out if this reaches you, and whether it is worthwhile
my writing to you.

I understand you are in Naini and I am addressing this letter
there ... So far as we are concerned, we may not say where we are —
that is supposed to be a dead secret, though everybody seems to know
about it!

Towards the end of November I received a message about you
tlirough various provincial Govts as usual. This was to the effect that
you had been examined by the Civil Surgeon of Allahabad and that
though your health was indifferent, there had been no marked
deterioration since your arrest and detention. That was not a pleasing
message and it did not cheer me up. Naini Prison is not a health
resort at any time of the year. The female part of it is peculiarly
disagreeable and it is no easy matter to put up with it. As summer
approaches I find it more and more difficult not to worry about your
health.

We have been here now for nearly seven months. This is your first
experience [of prison] and you have had six months of it. I do hope
you have been able to adjust yourself to it and have tried to profit
even from its tremendous inconveniences and utter boredom.

I have just been reading about the Greeks — I have read through
all these extant tragedies and comedies — and I came across a pregnant
passage. Athens had destroyed Melos utterly — unoffending, innocent
Melos — and not a man or woman or child was left there to tell the
tale. But soon other people came to live in that island, and once more
there was corn in her little valleys and men sat in her city market
place drinking the sweet -wine from her hill-sides.

Where bled her children hangs the loaded sheaf.

Forgetful is green earth: the Gods alone

1. Indira Gandhi was imprisoned in the Naini Central Jail, UP., from 1 1th September,
1942 to 13th May. 1943.

344

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Remember everlastingly: they strike

Remorselessly, and ever like for like.

By their great memories the Gods are known.

But the gods seem to have had their day and have sunk into
everlasting sleep, and man, as H. G. Wells tells us, has yet to develop
into Homo Sapiens. He is brute still and his brutish qualities are only
too evident. But while war goes on with all its horror and desolation
and misery, nature carries on unheeding and unconcerned.

I have a habit of forgetting where I am, and forgetting even the
course of events. Sometimes I would think of Mummie and want to
tell her something. Sometimes you would seem to be quite near me.

Betty sent me an electric shaver, which was very welcome as blades
are scarce. I rather liked this gadget and the thought came to me that
I might get one for Feroze and one for Ranjit. Then I realised that
this was not easy and I could hardly reach them. And anyway they
would not have electric current where they were.

Soon you will have your wedding anniversary and the first year of
your wedded life will be over — ^most of it spent in Naini Prison!
Perhaps this experience has much good in it if we know how to extract
it.

I would have written to you sooner but the last three weeks or
more have been abnormal . . . Now that Bapu’s fast^ is successfully
accomplished a weight is off my mind and I can write.

Give my love to Nan and Chand. I hope both are well and keep
good cheer. I hope Feroze and Ranjit are also well.

My love to you, my dear.
Your loving,
Papu

1. Mahatma Gandhi undertook a tvventy-one-day fast from 10 February to 3 March
1943 in protest against the Government’s accusation that he was responsible for the
disturbances and violence m the country after 9 August 1942.

• PRISON WALLS •

345

296

Naini Central Prison,
Allahabad,
25th March, 1943

Darling, darling Papu,

At last your letter' has come — almost three weeks after it was written.
But what is three weeks after a silence of seven months? All these
months I have been \vaiting and waiting and was finally giving up all
hope of hearing from you. And all the time, miles away, you were
waiting too. 'You behind one set of walls and I behind another. Is it
funny or is it sad? I don’t really know. Soon I shall have to say "with
Beaumarchais’s^ Figaro: ‘Je me presse de rire de tout, de peur d’etre oblige
d’en pleurer.^ However, the fault is neither yours nor mine. Your
information is quite correct. I cannot write to you of my own accord
but I may reply to any letter of yours delivered to me.

In the Female Ward (ghastly name) our numbers are dwindling
fast. Many have served their sentence and been released, convicted
prisoners with longer sentences are transferred to other jails. We are
missing some of them, especially those with children. For three months
we had the most adorable baby — ^aged four to seven months. It was
fascinating to watch her grow under our very eyes, making new noises,
learning some new trick each day. While she was here I took her
almost completely under my wing. She flourished on the schedule
we drew up for her — sunbath, massage, orange juice, etc. Though this
afforded much amusement to her mother and the other women, who
thought it a huge joke that such a fuss should be made over a mere
baby — and a girl-child at that! I didn’t realise what a lot of time I had
spent on wee Sarala until suddenly it was time for her to go. She had
come in dirty & miserably thin with a bad cold and a dazed look. She
left, pink & round, purring with comfort & sheer content and -with a
mischievous twinkle in her eye.

Feroze was transferred to Fyzabad about a couple of weeks ago.
Before that we were allowed a brief interview once a fortnight. Just
before leaving for Fyzabad, Feroze had something the matter with

1. Refers to letter dated 5 March 1943 (No 295).

2. Beaumarchais, title assumed by Pierre Augustin Caron (1732—99), French dramatist.
Figaro is the hero in Beaumarchais’s Barber of Seville and The Marriage of Figaro

3. I make haste to laugh at everything for fear of being obliged to cry.’

346

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

one foot. It got swollen to a tremendous size and he was in excruciating
pain for a few days. You can surely guess at the efficiency or, rather,
the lack of it that prevails here in these matters as well as in all others.

After all these months I have still not got used to reading by lantern
hght, and anyway it is much too hot to sit near a lantern, so I go to
bed very early. There is nothing to stay up for. Outside the moon may
be up — ‘the lovely moon lifting slowly her white brow among bronze
cloud- waves . . . her soft Hght faffing lightly on roof and poplar and
pine’. But we cannot see her. Only rarely are Orion or the Pleiades or
Cassiopeia vaguely discernible before we have between us and the
stars, ugly iron bars and the red tiles of our roof. We may, later on, be
allowed to sleep out.

Don’t worry about me, darhng. What was it Gurudev said, ‘Pray
not for the stiffing of thy pain but for the heart to conquer it’. Through
no fault of mine I have been equipped with a frail body, which has
always been a great nuisance. But in spite of it — or is it because of
it? — my inside is steadily getting tougher. And I think I can honestly
‘thank whatever Gods may be for my unconquerable soul’.

Pupha has as usual managed to have a lovely garden and he
sometimes sends us flowers. He gave some seeds to Chand, so we had
some pots — ^petunias, cornflower, sweet sultans, poppies, nasturtiums,
sweet peas and pinks. Also morning glory. We had also a vegetable
plot — about two square yards — ^peas, radishes, turnips, chanbut ^ —
lettuce and dhania. When these went to seed we had another one of
tomatoes. The firuit is stiU green but looking sweet.

We have only three large shady trees. Or rather had, for one of
them, a stately gnarled old neem, fell with a tremendous thud the
other day. It looked so strong and one would have thought it would
last for ever. Its roots had aU been eaten away by the white ants and it
was rotten to the core. There was majesty in its every branch even as
it lay prostrate, but almost immediately it was chopped up for firewood
and removed. Only a stump now remains. Remember —

The potent bear whose hug

Was feared by aU, is now a rug.

After the fall, Chand and another girl wanted to climb up on to
the trunk, but the convicts were simply terrified and refused to allow

1. A small plant of gram.

• PRISON WALLS •

347

them, saying that the evil spirits dwelling in the tree would get into
their bodies!

It is really a most interesting psychological study watching these
people, their superstitions and beliefe. And most interesting of all is the
effect of these beliefs on their actions and their daily lives. Here one is
thrown into close enough contact with village women for them to unveil
their thoughts. It would take years of hving and working in a village for
its womenfolk to be so friendly and so unsuspicious of a stranger.

I am in what is called an association barrack — that is we do not
have separate cells. Each of us has tried to have a corner to herself so
as to ensure at least a minimum of privacy. It is strange — ^here we are
all together and yet each one a world to herself, separate and aloof.
More alone than if one had been in solitary confinement. I even feel
I am developing the awkwardness that comes of being companionless.

Alone . . .The word is life endured and known.

It is the stillness where our spirits walk

And all but inmost faith is overthrown.

I haven’t been reading anything special — there isn’t anyone to send
books. Had I known that I would be here for such a long time I
might have made some arrangements. I have read a lot of old books —
classical and otherwise, Balzac, Rousseau and so on — that one is always
meaning to read but somehow keeps on postponing. Have you, I
wonder, come across An Anthology of Modern Verse compiled by A.
Methuen. It is quite an old one — ^first appeared in 1921. But it has
taken me all these years to discover it. It is one of the richest anthologies
of its kind that I have ever seen, and Robert Lynd has written a perfectly
delightful introduction to it. Another lovely book I’ve read here is Van
Loon’s Acts of Mankind. Later I think I might re-read War and Peace.
Interesting too, though long and wordy, is Upton Sinclair’s The Dragon’s
Teeth, a very vivid and realistic portrayal of Europe just before the
war. An altogether different kind of book which we all enjoyed was
Verrier Elwin’s detective story about the clouds, A Cloud that’s
Dragonish. Very fresh and light reading.

Rita, I hear, has acquired a new dog — a terrier. It’s called ‘Spring
Breeze’ and came to her by air from Calcutta!

Write often. Tell me about yourself. How is your arm? The one
that was worrying you in Dehra.

Lots and lots of love to you,

Indu

348

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

297 ^ —

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
26th March, 1943

Indu Darling,

There is not much substance in a letter from one prison to another,
unless one takes to analysing and recording states of mind — an alarming
undertaking!

In a sense I have had a novel experience this time. Previously I
was kept alone or with one companion. Now we are a round dozen
and many of them very interesting companions. The brightest of
companions is apt to paU on one in the inescapable intimacy of prison.
Still, this is a definite advantage. Sometimes, especially in the evenings,
some of us emerge out of our shells and talk on all manner of subjects:
the development of the war situation, international affairs, national
happenings, politics, religion, science, philosophy, ethics, art,
economics, linguistics, literature, cooking, gardening, India old & new,
China, Europe, America, the ancient civilisations, the future & so on
and so forth — anything to take us out of ounelves and give us the
feeling of activity — mental if not physical.

You may be surprised to learn how many languages are represented
in our group, nearly all of them in a scholarly way. Of classical
languages: Sanskrit, Pali, Arabic and Persian. Of modern Indian
languages: Hindi and Urdu, Gujrati & Marathi, BengaH & Oriya,Tamil
and Telugu, and Sindhi — also a litde Punjabi. Then of course Enghsh,
and a smattering of French and German. In a sense, it is an ideal
opportunity to learn some of these languages and some of us are
pegging away at them. But life is too short for this business, especially
at our respective ages. For my part Urdu is aU I have taken up so far.
But I nourish a secret hankering to read Shakuittala in the original
Sanskrit with Narendra Deva,^ and to learn a little modern Persian
from the Maulana, an ideal teacher, except that he is too erudite.

And I read of course — a miscellaneous assortment of books, old
& new. Just at present one of the books I am entangled in is Lewis
Carrolls collected works. It had a lovely cover but that, alas, is no

1 . Narendra Deva; eminent socialist and scholar; participated in the freedom movement,
associated with Kashi Vidyapith; was also Vice-Chancellor of Lucknow and Benares
Hindu Universities.

• PRISON WALLS •

349

more. Poor Alice had a new adventure when she travelled to this
unknown part of the world. She came with a mixed retinue of books,
clothes, cigarettes and oddments, including bottles of delicious honey
which Psyche sometimes sends. The honey was really quite separate
but some wise person in the Bombay Secretariat forced the honey
bottles into the suitcase. And when the case was opened I saw a ghastly
sight — the very horror of it fascinated me. There was honey, honey
everyvA'here, flowing, sticking, oozing out all over the place. Alice was
swimming in it. Well, having survived the first shock, we began our
work of salvage. But Alice bears traces of it to this day, and the cover is
no more, and in spite of all the wiping and drying & sunning, ants
smell their way to her. I think I shall send this book to you in my next
lot next month. That is if the first lot has reached you.

You will be sorry to learn that Yunus is very ill and has grown
even thinner than he was. It is T.B., so Betty writes. He is at present in
detention in Abbottabad. I am very worried about him. He is one of
the most likeable persons I have come across.

Your loving,
Papu

298

Naiiii Central Prison,
Allahabad,
6tli April, 1943

Darling One,

Chand has been released. Now we are only three of us in our barrack.
It’s like the old old song ‘Ten Little Nigger Boys’!

Four little Indian girls sat down to tea
One was released & then there were three.

I am looking forward to the books & I do so hope they will come
soon and all of them. Some of them — a very few — I have already got
here. Among them: Franklin’s y4nfo6io^rflp/iy, Plato’s Repi(6/ic, Benvenuto
Cellini’s Autobiography. The autobiographies are in the Jail Library
which also contains — The Confessions of an English Opium Eater, Memoirs
of Madame Pompadour, Confessions of Rousseau & of St. Augustine. The
Jail Librar)^ has some good books — I read John Stuart Mill’s Essay on

350

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Liberty here and also The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table — ^but usually
they are extremely difficult to get hold of. All Men Are Brothers is a
book that I have long wanted to peep into. Hasn’t it been translated
by Lin Yu-tang? A long time ago Mamu gave me Mathematics for the
Millions and as far as I remember you did not approve of it then. Have
you got that too?

I have been reading quite a lot of French books — the ones
Mademoiselle Hemmerlin sent me in 1932!

Often we have visitors in the night. Bartholomew Bat is the one I
dishke most. In the days when Knights were bold, they used to give
names to their swords. Following that charming custom, I have given
names to all the animals and insects, & lots of other things besides,
which come here. Among our nightly visitors are, Minto & Morley
Musk-rat (their predecessor Montague was killed by Mehitabel, the
cat) and Marmaduke, who is the husband of Mehitabel. Marmaduke
is an errant coward and is most unbeautiful, though he has a marked
resemblance to Mr Gladstone. He only comes at night. On the other
hand, Mehitabel is very pretty and is our constant companion as also
are her kittens Kanhaiya, Moti and Parvati.

. . . Why can’t I share the Maulana’s treasures with you? If in each
letter you wrote out a couplet or verse, either in Urdu or Hindi, I
should soon have a Uttle collection of the most delectable.

Since Puphi has left, I have had to learn to cook — actually I learnt
watching her. But now I have to manage on my own. I rather like it,
though I don’t think I’m interested enough in food to ever make a
good cook. Besides, raw vegetables are so much more appetising
than cooked ones. If it weren’t for the trouble to other people I think
I would have taken to a raw diet ages ago!

Much much love,
Indu

299

Ahtnadnagar Fort Prison,
9th April, 1943

Darling Indu,

Today I am arranging to send you a few more books. They are:

1. A New Anthology of Modern Poetry

• PRISON WALLS •

351

2. Ferdinand Czermin: Europe Going, Going, Gone!

3. Virginia Woolf: Between the Acts

4. Lewis Carroll: Goinplete M'brks

5. Thomas Reveille: The Spoil of Europe

6. A pocket diary for 1943

7. Satir Roznamcha or Hindi diary for Sanwat 2000

I have asked Betty to arrange with a fruiterer in Bombay to send
you a weekly parcel of fruit — I hope this reaches you in good
condition.

My Glimpses of World History came out in an American edition last
year. A copy of it managed to reach me here. It is amusing to learn
that many persons who had previously not cared to read it, thinking
it a child’s book, are now, in prison, reading it and finding out how
mistaken they were. Mahmud is so enamoured of it that he wants to
read its thousand pages again and again.

As I was writing this letter news came of the death of Maulana’s
wife. In a sense we had been partly prepared for bad news. Still hardly
anyone here expected this sudden end. It is a great shock to all of us,
and you can well imagine what it is for the Maulana — I have come to
know him very intimately during these months here. I knew well
how full of learning he was, how wise in counsel. I have found him to
be also a very brave and gallant gendeman, a finished product of the
culture that, in these disturbed days, unhappily pertains to few — I am
greatly exercised. I wish I could do something for him. But what can
I do? I hardly dare go to him.

I have been reading Bernard Shaw’s plays again. Twice I have read
them previously and seen some of them on the stage. And now for
the third time I am going through the lot. It is surprising how much
there is in them. What a wise man he is, full of the deepest
understanding of life, which often he covers with his levity and over-
smartness. Few writers provoke me to thought so much as he does. I
am sorry when I think that I am never likely to meet him. He is
eighty-seven years old now — I once saw him at Cambridge when I
was an undergraduate there. Not again. ^

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

1 In fact Ja\v.nh.nrlal Nehru and George Bernard Shaw were to meet in 1949.

352

• TWO alone, two together •

300

Naini Central Prison,
Allahabad,
12th April, 1943

Darling Papu,

Your letter of the 2nd April^ was handed to me just before lock-up.

As soon as the key turned in the lock, I hastened with pen and
paper and lantern to write to you. Then I thought that I had better
prepare dinner first. The eggs were just cooking and I was balancing
on my haunches over the stove, when a tremendous gust of dust burst
in upon us and ‘turned me and near inurned’ me. The next five
minutes were spent in a mad rush retrieving flying paper, sheets,
dusters, etc, and trying to save the other things from the onslaught of
dust. For the most important things — ourselves — there was neither
opportunity nor means: the only thing possible, which I did, was to
wrap my sari well over my head and to flatten myself against the wall,
thus hoping that the main gusts would sweep past me. However, the
dust is cleverer than to be taken in by such a simple ruse. Nora,^ in
the meantime, was feeling in a gay mood and in between coughing
and choking was singing mausam salona haifi It is the refrain of a record
we have here. Whether her singing had the desired effect on the
Heavens, I don’t know, but at this stage came the welcome drip, drip
of enormous raindrops and the downpour started in real earnest. I
emerged from my corner to sniff at the lovely fresh smell that the rain
alone can draw forth from out of the parched earth. How funny
everybody looked, eyebrows and eyelashes white with dust!

Now, after a meal of oenfs h la poussmc,'^ which I do not recommend
to anyone, I am sitting down to write. Peace reigns again in our barrack.
As I sit by the dim lantern, the kitten Parvati curled up in a snowy ball
at my feet, a soft cool breeze is blowing in with incredible caressing
messages from the lightning and thunder and rain, and the beauty of
the storm-tossed night outside — the night which my complexion was
supposed to resemble. Remember the Paris journal: bnme comme une
unit d’etei'^

1. Letter not published.

2. Purruma (Nora) Banegee; a friend of the Nehrus, active in the national movement.

3. The weather is fine.

4. Eggs cooked in dust.

5. Golden like a summer’s night.

5 5*1

two AtOS’l, TWO TOO! f H I Jf •

JO I

/llniwdiiaj^ar Pori Prison,
16th April, 1943

Darling Indu,

At last a IctteH from you.

Reading your letter again I realise what a powerful effect jail has
on our mental make-tjps. It tnalrcs us grow up mentally and gives us
a different, and perhaps a iiuer, perspectis-e oji life and the world.
Partly because we are thrown on our osvn mental resources much
more than elsewhere, partly because of new experiences, new
couipaniotis, so dilTeretii from those we are used to. It is curious that
jail life, which is a terrible narnawing of the world of experience and
sensatioti, often gives us deeper experiences and sensations. It depends
on the individual and his or her capacity to receive and profit by
these new experiences and thus to gross* in mind. Tor my part, 1 have
no doubt that I have managed to profit by my visits to jail. The vers*
lack of things in jail, the absence of normal family and social life, the
long hours alone, the want of the most ordinary amenities we are so
used to and take for granted, give a v.ilue and significance to them
and we enjoy them all the more when we have the cliance. Prison is
the true home of that dreadful thing ennui, and yet, oddly enough, it
te.achc.s us to triumph over it.

1 have few regrets. But there is one that in your childhood and
early girlhood I saw so little of you.

Your inside is tough of course, I know that. 1 W'ant that outside of
yours also to grow rough. 1 am sure that you will succeed in
strengthening your body. It requires will and intelligence.

Our garden is shrinking daily and drying up. Still there are a good
number of flowers still out because of the trouble we take over them.

I have just been reading Aurobindo Ghose s Essays on the Gita.
What fine English prose he wmites and his amazing lucidity. He writes
quite tolerable verse also, with an occasional line of good poetry. His
background of Greek, Latin A' Sanskrit has been excellent training.^

We are just fixing up with Narendra Des-a to read the Kadaiuharr
with him. This is a big book and I doubt if we shall ever go through it.
It is a laborious process. Still it is rather fascinating to read this ancient

1. Refers to letter dated 25 March 1943 (No. 296).

2. Kadanibari: a novel by Banabhatta, who lived in the court of Harsba (c. 606-647).

• PRISON walls •

355

romance in Sanskrit — probably one of the earliest novel-like books
in the world.

It is surprising what a mass of Hterature in Sanskrit we possess and
how httle we know about it. In spite of enormous destructions and
loss, and the fact that a large number of manuscripts are buried in
religious institutions and have not so far been properly traced, there
are at present about 60,000 manuscripts, big and small, properly
catalogued! Only a small proportion of these have so far been printed.
What a lot of work we have to do when we have the chance!

Everybody here sends you his love — more especially Pantji,^
Mahmud, Kxipalani^ and Asaf Ali.

My love to you, darling one.
Your loving,
Papu

302

Naini Central Prison,
Allahabad,
19th April, 1943

Darling Papu,

The books have arrived correct and all intact. Some of them had got
rather wet and almost all of them had some sticky substance aU over
the covers. And countless ants because of it.

I also have been re-readmg old G.B.S.^ The smaller plays at the
end I read for the first time in jail', as also Back to Methuselah (strange to
think I had overlooked it for so long). I enjoyed it immensely and I
am afraid made a perfect nuisance of myself to Puphi & Chand by
insisting on reading out aloud large chunks of it to them. A long time
ago you took me to see Saint Joan as a treat for my tenth birthday.
Since then I have seen only two other Shaw plays on the stage: Candida
and The Doctor’s Dilemma. Both brilhantly acted.

The fruit also came the day I wrote to you — ^April 12th. I forgot to
mention it in my P.S. It was a delight to see the Alphonsoes. All afternoon
I was lying close to the fhiit-basket and the smell was so reminiscent

1. G.B. Pant, distinguished nationahst leader, later Chief Minister of U.P. and Home
Minister of India.

2. J.B. Knpalam, leader of the struggle for freedom. Congress President in 1946.

3. George Bernard Shaw

• TWO AI.ONJ, I WO 7 oof I HI R •

3 56

of the good things oflifc outside jail. 1 could hardly bear to cut them
up and oat them. Some of the fruit I .sent to Pupha.

Have you ever heard ofBegam Samroo? She lived in the eighteenth
century and a person called Brajcnclninath Baneiji wrote a biography
of her years ago. Apparently the ]3egam was a wonderful woman; ‘A
Kashmiri girl who from abject poverty and obscurity rose to the
command of an European-drilled brigade, the sovereignty of a territory
ns latge as two English counties, and the honoured position of a shield
to the Delhi Imperial Family, and died in the fullness of her years in
the odour of sanctity as the honoured ally of the English rulers and a
saint ot the Roman Catholic Church.’ This book is said to be the first
attempt to write her biogniphy on the basis of a critic.al .study of all
the available historical materi.als in print or MS — in Engli.sh, Persian,
Marathi and French — besides the mass of old state papers in the
Imperial Records Ofiice, Calcutta.

The night I wrote my last letter’ to you, I had a most lovely dream.
1 was walking on a broad path — tlecp deep brown it was and probably
wet and cool without being at all muddy. I had a feeling that it was
suspended in the air although there w-as nothing to show it po.sitively.
And in a perfect circle all around — far away as if there was no obstacle
to prevent me seeing the whole horizon at die same time — there was
a chain of mountains. All sorts of mountains: high towering into the
sky be.sides smaller ones, ragged and smooth, snow-covered and bare.
And on a single peak in front of me there was a dazzlingly beauriful
light. It seemed like a spotlight from .above although the sky w^s
pitch dark, neither sun, nor moon, nor stars. It was awe-inspiring. I
was looking at it and walking on and on when the road became
narrow and covered with deep snow like a mountain pass. I woke up
feeling exhilarated and fresh, .as if I had been to die Mont Blanc or
the Matterhorn at least.

In spite of not having any sort of Indian calendar, we have been
doing very well in the wsiy of finding out when the various high days
and holidays fall. And we have celebrated nearly all that we could
reasonably do. On Vasnnta Paitcimmi day', we wore Vasanti saris — on
Holi we had grand fun too — but now the awful jail colour reflises to
part with our clothes! On Nauroz, I wore a new sari and was gay all
on my ownsome! For Chand’s birthd.ay we gave her a party — it wasnt

1 . Refers to letter d.ited 1 2 April 1943 (No. 300).

• PRISON walls •

357

half as pretentious as it sounds. We had sweet bhatta^ and kachah? and
one other thing.

Whenever I am bored or depressed and tired of all the books I
follow LinYu'tang’s advice and open a dictionary. It is really interesting
and sometimes quite exciting. I have two here. The Pocket Oxford &
your Twentieth Century. It’s fun to compare them. How do you
pronounce ‘What’? I had always left out the ‘h’ & Chand kept it in. I
felt I must be wrong and looked it up to make sure. The Oxford says
‘wot’ and the other says ‘hwat’. ‘Wench’ according to the Twentieth
Century is pronounced ‘wensh’!

Permission to sleep out has been granted to the ‘A’ class which
means about three of us and four or five people in the male side. As
far as I am concerned, this does not make much difference. I was
already allowed out on medical grounds but I did not take advantage
of this. How frightful to be out in the very sight of a barrackful of
people who are locked up!

I was very sorry to hear about Maulana’s wife. Nothing one can
say is really adequate on such an occasion. And especially so when
one does not know the person. She was very beautiful, Mrs Naidu
always used to tell us.

Much love,
Indu

303

Naini Central Prison,
Allahabad,
25th April, 1943

Darling Papu,

Puphi is back with a lot of books. So for the moment I have abandoned
your lot. I am now reading Verrier Elwin’s^ Leaves front a fungle and You
Can’t Be Too Careful. You must have read Elwin’s book. We could do
with his Pandu Baba right here — ^he’s the Gond magician, you know.
The most popular subject for discussion among the convict women is
still tutka, which means a sort of bewitching, or rather bewitchment, if

1 . Sweet rice, served in Kashmiri famihes on auspicious occasions
2 A variety of edible root.

3. Verrier Elvvin: British anthropologist sympathetic to nationalist aspirations in India

358

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

such a word exists. If one has a pain anywhere it is because someone
else has given you her own pain or else because she wishes you ill for
some reason. So naturally how can mere medicine cure it?

Did Chand tell you that I wanted to adopt the baby Sarala? If I had
been out, I surely would have done, for the mother was willing enough.
It was really a darhng baby and after her release the mother wrote to
say that baby was missing our care so much that she had lost weight
and begun to cry a lot. Mother-love in India consists mostly of stuffing
food down their offsprings throat, all at the wrong time too. They
have no baby-talk or any kind of demonstrative love that the wee one
can understand or appreciate. I was reading in an American magazine
that now they have even intelligence tests for tiny ones under six
months old! Anyone can avail himself of these but they are especially
meant for babies that have been put up for adoption, so that the foster
parents may know the child’s personality characteristics such as
sensitivity, resourcefulness, muscle coordination and whether the baby
is of normal intelligence. All these things are a long way off from
India but I do wish we could have at least the ordinary type of nursery,
where mothers could be taught the most essential things about baby-
care. It is a shame how quite bright children are suppressed or at least
not given the incentive necessary for their full development. Wee Sarala
is a case in point. She was a really inteUigent baby, quick and willing
to learn and understand. In her home she will soon lose her alertness
and will grow up into just such a bovine creature as her mother. Maybe
when the hospital grows bigger and has more funds it will be possible
to open some such section.

Whatever difference stone walls and iron bars may make to the
human soul, let us be thankful that they offer no obstacle to the
vegetable kingdom, which follows the cycle of the seasons, year in
and year out, come war or peace. We have a peepul in our yard, a tree
which, had it depended upon human praise and approbation, would
have withered away long since. However it ignored our derision and
went on its lordly way. And now that phagun^ is come again, the few
remaining shreds of last year’s garment, yellow with age, are being
shed off and its bare limbs are being clothed in glorious sunset pink.
It looks as if a deep blush were spreading along the branches which
gives it rather a coy look. Amazingly beautiful it is. Over the walls we

1. Spring.

• PRISON WALLS •

359

have glimpses of the tops of some mahua trees — a balm for sore
eyes.

Beautiful things attract other beautiful things. Our soHtary peepul
provides our only opportunity of watching birds, other than the ever-
present sparrows, babblers, crows, pigeons and parrots which are
numerous and extremely rowdy. Unfortunately the peepul is in such
a spot that by the time one hears the call of a bird and rushes round
one can just see it disappearing into the sky. In this way I failed to
identify a most peculiar specimen. It happened in the evening. It was
singing on a warbling, whistling note. Just as I got under the trees,
the bird gave an extra loud whistle and away he flew. All I saw was a
bit of beige, a bright tail in two dazzling shades of blue, a long dull
red curved beak. Can you tell us what it is?

Mehitabel the cat is getting increasingly vicious and quite adept at
catching and devouring pigeons and sparrows. She has recently
produced some more kittens.The latest family to join us is the Cuthbert
centipedes. Several of its members have been found in our yard.

Dame Rumour has it that all ‘A’ classers are going to be
transferred — Pupha and the men to Bareilly. We women will probably
go to a cooler place. Do you know Atkinson’s verse on rumour?

Actual evidence I have none

But my aunt’s charwoman’s sister’s son

Heard a maid in Downing Street

Say to a policeman on his beat

That she had a brother who had a friend

Who knew when the war was going to end.

The only really effective armour against mosquitoes are mosquito-
nets. These we have acquired. Around lock-up time all the mosquitoes
gather in the far end of the barrack, probably debating their strategy
for the night.They produce such a variety of sound as to put to shame
even S.K. Niazi — remember the zoological and ornithological linguist?

Lots & lots of love,
Indu

360

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

304

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
7th-8th May, 1943

Darling,

Two days ago I received your letter dated April 12t]p Since then I
have sent you two small packets of books, and yesterday I sent yet
another — the fourth. I have decided to send you small parcels of books
as these can go by post and thus save time and trouble to everybody.

Yesterday’s parcel contained:

1. Voltaire: 77;e Best of All Possible Worlds

2. ChiangYee: 77;e A4cn of the Burma Road

3. Peter Abrahams: Dark Testament

4. Plato: Five Dialogues

5. Chekhov: Plays and Stories

6. T7/e Upakhyan-mala

7. Two Reports & 4 Bulletins of the Commission to Study
Organization of Peace.

8. Four copies of the Reader’s Digest — ^last year’s numbers

You ask me about my arm — think I have already written to you
about it. I tried various massages, ointments, I gave it long rest from
any kind of exercises — ^but the pain continued. Then I decided to
deal with it in a different manner — through regulated exercise. I think
the carrying of pailfuls of water was especially good for it as this
stretched the muscles. Anyv^ay it is far better now than it has been at
any time during the last two years or more.

I have had a curious experience in connection with this arm. There
is electric current here and Mahmud was given some simple electric
treatment here for some pain. It was suggested that I might also indulge
in this for my arm. Being always agreeable to having new sensations
& experiences I readily agreed — ^not that this electric business was
very novel. So a mild current was passed through my arm for a few
minutes. No obvious results. Next time, a few days later, a stiffer and
a larger dose was proposed. While this was being given, and the force
of the current increased, I was asked: Can you bear it? An odd question.

1 . Refers to letter No. 300.

• CKISOX V.'Al.LS •

361

or at any rate oddly put. 1 can bear a good bit in the way of pain and
if it is for niy good, I saw’ no reason to object. So I bore it w'itbout a
whisper. When u w-as all over and my arm was unwrapped, it w’as
discovered that my skin and some tissues had been burnt up to some
extent. It was entirely my fault for quietly submitting to this ordeal
without pointing out that something untoward was happening. Any-way
it took about three weeks for this burn to heal and I have got a biggish
mark on my forearm which I am likely to carry' to the end of my
d.ays. It is as well to have a permanent souvenir of this place.

A week ago Beatrice Webb’died at her country house where you
and 1 visited her five years ago. Her age was stated to be eighty-five. I
thought she was even older. What a magnificent woman she was!
Bernard Shaw said about her on her eightieth birthday, or thereabouts,
that he was amazed that such a woman ‘should survive in apparently
undiminished s’igour after eighty years among fools and savages who
will rise to nothing but ecstasies of murder’. That compliment or
observation could well be passed on to G.B.S. himself, for he has
managed to survive for an even longer period, and is yet fiill of vigour
and mental alertness. He is eighty-seven now.

How svell I remember that visit of ours to Sydney & Beatrice
Webb. Sydney was definitely the weaker of the tsvo and I would have
thought that he would not survive his wife. (I suppose he is still alive —
1 am not sure.) The walk across country we had ivith this lady of
eighty and the light spring)’ step she had! But what was really amazing
W. 1 S the up-to-dateness and mental alertness she displayed. It was a
privilege to meet her and I shall long cherish her memory. You have
a visible token of that visit — the book she gave you.

In my last letter^ 1 gave you an account of how I spent my day — a
regular timetable was outlined. Such timetables seldom last and
anyway this one went to pieces very soon after.

However, Maulana carries on with his astonishing punctuality.
Then; is a stor)’ about Kant, the German philosopher, that for twenty
or thirt)' years he used to go out punctually at five p.m. for his walk
and all his neighbours and many others corrected their watches and
clocks as soon as they saw him. So, whenever Maulana is to be seen
.slowly walking in the direction of the place where we feed, one can

1. Rc.itnccWcbb (1S58-194.'3);prominent British socinlist.She and her husband Sydney
Webb wcR' both active in v.irioiis radical causes.

2. Letter not published

362

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

say definitely that it is thirty seconds to the time fixed for the meal.

A few days ago I read in a newspaper some extracts from a review
in Tlie American Current History of my book Glimpses of World Histoty
which has recendy appeared in the U.S. The review was very fi-iendly
and eulogistic and, as an author, I felt very puffed up. He said that it
was a better survey of world history than H.G. Wells’s Outline.

Here are two verses by Ghalib:

jLi- jtrn «-Cl ^

jk Ai CyU. ^ Crt"* r*

The same in Hindi:

FT 3T^fTT^ FT?I^ I TpcJgcT 1^ ^ ^ ^ II '

means a crowd — is being alone, solitary ftlT-TT-T>TFTT is
Judgment Day — presumably because the biggest crowd will be seen
there.

Oj«>» tijS'li

(•.^JU") 4fi_ !>. yjC 01 vy h

The same in Hindi:

^JTT# ^ FTTcT ^ I

' 3TTR ft ^ Ipn# ^ ^ t II ^

The first couplet teUs us that man is not just a simple individual
but a crowd of thoughts and ideas. Even when he is by himself, he is
a kind of meeting or debating society aU inside himselfl The idea is
well put.

1. Ghalib: Man is himself

a tumultuous world of thought:

A company all around me I feel
even if I am all alone!

2. Ghahb" If punishment there needs must be
for the sins committed,

Some appreciation, O my Lord,
for the sins in thought left undone!

• PRISON WALLS •

363

The second is famous & often quoted. If we are to be punished
for the sins we have committed, at least we should be praised for our
yearning for the sins we have not conmiitted. Have you any news of
Feroze?

Your loving,
Papu

305

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
14th May, 1943

Darling,

You mention the peepul tree in your yard. We have only one tree
here — a neem, but little shoots of the peepul are continually coming
out at odd places — how irrepressible they are! I have watched the
unfolding of a new peepul leaf and been charmed and fascinated by
it. The peepul, I suppose, might well be considered the typical tree of
India. Of course there is the chenar in all its magnificence, but it is of
Kashmir only; and the deodar in all its stately glory, but again it is
confined to the mountains, and the neem, and the lovely areca, and so
on. But the peepul is the Tree of India — and it is fixed so for ever by
the Buddha legend.*

What of the flowers? Obviously the lotus is the Flower of India.
Equally obviously the mango is the Fruit of India. I am not sure about
the animals — ^is there any really typical animal?

You give me a vague description of a new bird you saw and want
me to name it from here! This faith in my extensive knowledge is
very touching but it has no justification.

Begam Samroo — yes, most of us have heard about her though
very few know much. I have read a magazine article about her and, in
the course of my wanderings, I have passed Sardhana, near Meerut,
which used to be her headquarters. There is, I am told (I did not see
it myself), a fine Catholic Church built by her with a lovely statue of
the Virgin Mary.

On receiving your letter I went to Maulana and asked him, for he
is a treasure-house of all such old stories and happenings. He told me

1. The reference is to the Buddha attaining Enlightenment while reflecting under a
peepul tree at Bodh Gaya (528 BC).

something and gave me a book he happened to have here. This is The
History of the Reign of Shah Alum by W. Francklin, Captain in the Hon’ble
East India Company’s service, published in London in 1798. Francklin
•was the Begam’s contemporary, more or less, and was her guest for a
fortnight at Sardhana. He was much impressed by her. He says that
she belonged to an impoverished family of a Moghul nobleman. She
married Samroo, a German adventurer in command of a body of
trained troops, including foreign soldiers. (Samroo is an odd name
for a German — probably it was a new name.) She became a Christian
after her marriage. Samroo apparently died soon after marriage, in
1778. He had been given a large jagir round about Sardhana and in
addition to his own battaHons was given command of a body ofMoghul
horse.

On Samroo’s death, the Begam became possessed of this
principality and also functioned as the leader of the armed forces.
She was a good administrator and a good captain of the forces. She
built a fort and arsenals & foundries for cannon. Sardhana prospered
& remained peaceful while chaos often ravaged the surrounding areas.
She was loyal to the Delhi king and on several occasions saved him
from destruction and collapse in battle by her personal initiative &
bravery. The king gave her the tide of Zebu-nnisa — the ‘ornament of
her sex’.

Later she got into trouble: she married for a second time and
this resulted in a revolt of her troops. She married one of her
European officers, again said to be a German adventurer (though
his name is given as Vaissaux). She was imprisoned by a step-son.
Her new husband committed suicide. Some months or a year later,
however, she gained possession of her Jagir again and remained there
tiU a ripe old age.

I have exceeded aU bounds in this letter — I fear it is much more
than 500 words! So my apologies to the censors.

Your loving,
Papu

• PRISON WALLS •

365

306

Anand Bliawan,
Allahabad,
22nd May, 1943

Darling Papu,

You must have read of our release and of the order^ served upon us.
These last days have been full of indecision, Samant^ advising me to
go to Khali, I not feeling like it, and so on. Dr Saniant’s point was my
health. I have caught a bad cold and my temperature has been going
up to 101°. However it is nothing to worry about . . .

Our letters to the District Magistrate have gone off, informing
him that we cannot comply with the terms contained in the order. So
now it is just a matter of waiting for the police lorry. The police, I
hear, have already been to Anand Bhawan twice in our absence.

Both the radio and newspapers are full of eulogies of Moti,^ who,
poor chap, is reported to have been killed on the bank of the
Chindwari. I believe he was very brave & liked the army life too,

Khali must be very pretty just now and full of flowers, but as the
popular Bombay Talkies song goes:

unka phoolon sc rislita hi kya,

jinki kismet hai kaiiton ke beech pali re^

Nani is with Mamu in Lahore. I hear she has been having a lot of
trouble with her eyes. She had an operation which didn’t turn out
too well.

Darling, I shall stop now. If we are not arrested I shall continue
later.

Tons of love,
Indu

1. Indira Gandhi and Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit were released from Naim Prison on 14th
May, 1943 and an order was served upon them to go to Khali, the estate of Ranjit
Pandit near Almora, and live there in internment.

2. Dr Vatsala Samant: a friend of the family who was Medical Superintendent of the
Kamala Nehru Hospital, Allahabad, 1942-72.

3. Moti Kathju; a cousin of Jawaharlal, he worked for the Pioneer, Lucknow, before
joining the,Iiidian Army. He was killed in action in Burma in May 1943.

4. A rough translation of this song would beiThose hapless individuals whose destiny is
hurtiired in tlionisAVhat have they to do with flowers?

366

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

307

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
23 rd May, 1943

Darling,

The very day my last letter^ went off to you I saw in the newspapers
that you and Puphi had been released from Naini and later some
kind of an order had been served upon you both calling upon you to
proceed to Khali and live there under the surveillance of the District
Magistrate. I wondered immediately what the outcome of this would
be.

So what has happened and where are you now?

Here are two more Urdu couplets. The first is by Mir.^The second
by Ghalib.

f IT Z. V-

In Hindi:

4^(11 ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ I

^ % 3Ti%t II ^

^ ^ gij

(*^U) oUT 4^ j> ^

In Hindi:

^ ^ ^ cil 'Snwi % ^ i

IcFft ^ ■qt %3TraT II

1. Refers to letter dated 14 May 1943 (No. 305).

2. Mir Taqi Mir (1774-1810): Urdu Poet

3. Mir: All the measures and plans have proven false;
No medicine did me good;

See, this disease of the heart.

At length, put an end to me!

4. Ghalib: Pain afflicts no more
when it comes to be a part of hfe;

So many vicissitudes of fortune I have seen
That easy they come on me!

• PRISON WALLS •

367

I am immersed at present in a careful reading of the 1200 pages of
Beatrice & Sydney Webbs Soviet Commiinism. It is an astonishing and
a wonderful book.

I am writing today to Amma also. She intended going to Lahore.
She was to have had an eye operation a month or two ago. I do not
know the result of it. You had better write to her also.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

308

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
28th May, 1943

Darling,

The papers say you are in hospital and are suffering from influenza.
Influenza is usually a trivial affair but not for you and I hate this idea
of your having to go to hospital again. You have already spent long
months and years in hospitals and sanatoria and I had hoped that you
had rid yourself of them for good. Perhaps it is not so surprising after
nine months of the ‘Female Barrack’ in Naini Jail.

And now news comes that Puphi has gone back to Naini. I suppose
you would have been there also for a second time but for the fact that
you are actually in hospital.

So again I live in uncertainty about you and what the immediate
future will bring.

All my love.
Your loving,
Papu

309

Anand Bhaxvan,
Allahabad,
29th May, 1943

Darling Papu,

First of all I must reassure you about my health — I hope the newspaper
headlines about my flu have not worried you. Before we were released.
It was so hot in jail and I was feeling very low and running a

368

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

temperature. Coming to Anand Bhawan from the Female Ward was
like suddenly being landed at Mussoorie after a stay near the Equator.
I caught a cold at once. Then I went to Fyzabad to interview Feroze.
The heat, the dust, the crowded compartment, the fatigue of the journey
made my temperature rise alarmingly. I started to cough.

However by the time I got back home I was feeling Hke nothing
on earth — as only influenza can make you feel. It is really remarkable
what difference a hospital does make. I think I stayed there four days —
Doctor wanted to keep me a little longer, but it is so hot there, I
decided to come away.

Puphi was rearrested while I was in hospital. Now I am just waiting
to be whisked back to good old Naini.

Hari sends his salaams. Khaliq^ also asked to be remembered to
you. He brought his daughter here the other day. She has grown up
into a smart & perky young lady in Rita s salwarsl Poor Lakchamania^
is getting older and weaker and there is nothing one can do about it.
Her granddaughter Champi, attractive young thing, has gotT.B. I have
arranged milk for her. Old Jessie still comes to see us with offers of
cooking Madrasi meals.

Poor old Rafi^ is, I hear, having a very bad time. He is in Bareilly
with Pupha.

Motibhai’s death was tragic. So much of his Hfe he had wasted just
lounging about and when he does at last decide to do something it
ends like this.

As soon as I knew we would have to go back to jail, I sent for the
barber and had all my hair chopped off. Now it is almost as short as a
boy’s — ^what is called in America the service bob. It is so much cooler
and easier to manage. Everybody prophesied that I would look ghastly,
but I decided on comfort and coolness at aU costs of looks. Actually it
has not turned out at all bad. The barber who came to cut my hair was
not our usual one but his son, who seems to have led an adventurous
life. He has been a ship’s barber & was torpedoed some time ago.
Before that he had a shop in Glasgow. How is your burn?

Very much love,
Indu

1 . A chauffeur m Anand Bhawan.

2. Mother of a sweeper in Anand Bhawan.

3. Rafi Ahmed Kidwai: nationahst Muslim leader from U.P.; active in the struggle for
freedom; was later Union Minister for Food and Agriculture, 1952-4.

• PRISON WALLS •

369

310

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
30th/31stMay, i943

Darling Papu,

Darling, shall I tell you a secret? I think I’m getting old! Proof? An
almost complete change of taste. You know how I have always adored
mangoes. I now find to my horror that I really relish only the
Alphonso! There is also a growing fondness for food — or do you
think this is merely the result of not having a decent meal for eight
months?

Living in jail one forgets how green and beautiful even dusty old
Allahabad can be. The day we were released, it was quite a shock to
see the colourful Gulmohars, the abundance of trees, the curve of the
Jumna. I was so overcome that I shed a few tears through sheer
excitement!

I sleep out on the lawn here, in front of Puphi’s bedroom. It was
such a rehef not to have the major portion of the sky hidden behind
the roofs of barracks and the high walls. On a dark starry night, have
you ever seen shadows cast by the light of the stars? It does happen
sometimes.

31st May

Do you remember the baby Sarala, about whom both Chand and I
have written copiously to you? Her mother brought her to see me
the other day. My worst fears with regard to her have proved true. She
was no longer the bonny baby who left jail, but had shrunk, in these
four months, back to her former skinny smallness, instead of getting
rounder and fatter as all babies should. She didn’t even look inteUigent
as she used to do. I was really most disappointed. I am arranging for
the mother to go to school since she is anxious to do so, though I
think it would be more to the point if she were to learn to look after
her children.

As I write I can see through the open door three fat owls sitting all
in a row on the neem outside.

Lots & lots of love,
Indu

370

• TWO ALONC, TWO TOGETHER •

3II

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
1st June, 1943

Darling One,

In spite of all my tall talk and long practice in keeping cool and
collected in untoward circumstances, I have felt worried and distressed
about your health. It is aggravating not to be able to get frequent and
rapid news of you — to have to wait for a fortnight or so for stale
reports.

I am sending a few more books to you — as follows;

1. Adams: Tlie Epic of America

2. Zimmern: T7/e Greek Commonwealth

3. Sinclair Lewis: Main Street

4. Modern Plays (Everyman’s Library)

5. Sculpture Inspired by Kalidasa

During this month of May that is just over I thought often of the
Kulu Valley where you and I went a year ago. Somehow the Himalayas
have always a soothing effect on me — even the thought of them helps.
That is not merely because I love mountains and glaciers and the
deodar and so many other things that are there, but also because of
their calm imperturbability which smiles at my own fitful nature. They
represent to me the old strength and the spirit of India, rather remote
but ever-present, enduring.

I have something to do with illness here — not my own, for I
flourish, but other people’s — a fair part of my time is being spent in
looking after them, though I am not a good nurse.

Love to you, my dear.
Your loving,
Papu

• PRISON WALLS •

371

312

20, Carmichael Road,
Bombay,
18th June, 1943

Darling Papu,

I left Allahabad on Tuesday.

Puphi has just shown me your letter to her. Darhng, I think you
people are being quite insulting about my health! I have been ill in
the past but I am determined not to be iU any more — minor troubles
such as flu & appendicitis are naturally not counted in this. I enclose
a typewritten report by Samant.

It is only on arrival in Bombay that 1 finally got away firom the
shadow of Naini. Smart-clothed people, radios and telephones and
cars — how can one associate anything here with Naini? But in the
midst of it I think of those who ate stfll there and I can’t really enjoy
anything. If this is the state of affairs so soon after being released, in a
couple of weeks more, being out will become unbearable. As you
have perhaps noticed, my mind works m its own peculiar way, so I
rarely find anyone who will sympathise or understand.

I saw Feroze last Sunday. He was well but his foot is stfll giving
him trouble.

Last August Tendulkar* took some snaps of Puphi and me in salwar.
I believe they came out quite well. This time he came again and took
some more snaps. He is going to send me copies of them all. I should
like to send them to you — are you allowed to have photographs?
Have you seen his book — 30 Months in Russia?

Lots of love, darling.
Your loving,
Indu

1. DG Tendulkar; political worker and author, well-known for his monumental
biography of Mahatma Gandhi.

372

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

313

Ahmadmgar Fort Prison,
26th June, 1943

Darling,

Your reaction to Bombay after Naini is interesting but natural. I have
seldom felt life’s contrasts so much as when I went to London (with
you) in November 1935. I had spent nearly four years in prison and
the two or three months in Badenweiler had been quiet and anxious
ones. The change to a great and wealthy city, with all its pomp and
luxury, its strength and ceaseless activity, its social and intellectual Hfe,
had a remarkable effect upon me. I felt as if I was in a dream, or was
1 waking from a dream? Which was real and which was unreal?

You write that your mind works in a peculiar way and that you
rarely find anyone who will sympathise or understand you. Almost
every person who thinks, imagines that he or she is a pecuHar person,
apart from the rest. And so, of course, every individual is. Then there
is the feeling of lack of sympathy and understanding. True enough,
again, for we are all, deep down, strangers to each other and even to
ourselves. But the doors and windows of sympathy and understanding
do not open out to us of themselves: they await our initiative. The
more we give to others, the more do others give to us. Like most
things in life, they come to us when we are not seeking them
dehberately but thinking of something else.

I suggested to you that you might write to Krishna; whether your
letter will reach him or not I do not know. There is a book I have long
wanted to get and have so far faUed.You might ask him to send it. It is
J.D. Bernal’s^ The Social Function of Science.

Here is a rubai (quatrain) by Hali.^ There is an English word in
it — ‘reformer’. Such words in Urdu always are difficult to make out
as one does not expect them.

(

1 . J.D. Bernal; British physicist.

2 Altaf Hussain Hah of Panipat (1834— 1914)' a nationahst poet associated with Aligarh
Mushm University.

• PRISON WALLS •

373

In Hindi: fT^-WlI

sfl^ ^ t ^ fiqnfc ^ ^

^ ^ ^ ^ClHI ^ OI4

^ ^ I ’

Love from your loving,
Papu

I have just received a letter from Puphi (Nan) in which she teUs me
that Ranjit has had a bad heart-attack and has been transferred to
Lucknow for treatment.

314

Poona,
1st Jtily, 1943

Darling Papu,

Psyche & I came here yesterday. I have always liked the journey from
Bombay to Poona, but it is especially delightful in the monsoon. Silvery
waterfalls ghminering in the dark foliage, or against the inky rocks.
After the sticky heat of Bombay, Poona is very pleasantly cool. We are
staying with Nurie.^ We shall probably leave for Panchgani on Tuesday
next.

I am sending you today a basket of fruit.

Psyche and Nurie send their love. Nurie wants to know if you
dream of Chand Bibi!^

Lots of love.
Your loving,
Indu

1. Hali; O ye reformer, clean the garment
So long as the stain is there;

Clean it as ye may;

Pray, do not rub it so
That It wears away!

2 Nargis Captain, granddaughter of Dadabhai Naoroji; a friend of the Nehrus.

3. Chand Bibi: the pet cat of Jawaharlal Nehru in Ahmadnagar Fort. She was named
after a famous queen of medieval India.

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

3 74

315

Poona,

3rd July, 1943

Darling Papu,

Madan Bhai has been in detention since December. He had a terrible
shock. His father, rather a grand old man, carrying his years remarkably
well, was killed by dacoits when they came to plunder the house.
Part of the house was destroyed and many goods stolen. Madan Bhai
was arrested just as he had heard the awful news and was preparing
to go to Hardoi.

In an old article I found the other day a paragraph which I thought
rather appropriate to the remarks you make about one’s reaction to
the outside world after months of seclusion in prison.

To go away, the French say shrewdly, is to die a little. But why
has nobody ever made the parallel observation: ‘To return is to
know what it is to be a ghost’? For when you first come home
you are always something of a ghost. They were sorry you went
away, and they welcome you back with affection: but in the
meanwhile they have adjusted their lives a little to your absence.
They ask ‘Where did you go? What was it like?’ But you cannot
teU them. For you cannot make them understand the essential
point, which is that when you went away you took the centre
of the universe with you, so that the whole thing went on
revolving, just as usual, round your own head. How could they,
indeed, be expected to understand this, when they know quite
well that all the time the centre of everytliing stayed at home
with them? It is a day or two, as a rule, before your universe and
theirs merge and become concentric, and when that happens
you know that you are really home!

We lead a very quiet life here. I get up late, then potter about in
the garden, write innumerable letters and sometimes listen in to the
radio. Looking at the packets of seeds I thought of a poem we read in
class in Badminton School. It was called ‘The Seed Shop’.^ I cannot
recollect who wrote it or what the words were beyond the last three
lines, which run:

1. ‘The Seed Shop’ by Muriel Stuart.

• PRISON WALLS •

375

Sealed in their shells, a million roses leap;

Here 1 can blow a garden with my breath,

And in my hand a forest lies asleep.

Nurie has a Zanzibar parrot, Pepite by name. She is a soft soft grey
with a brilliant red tail — such a lovely combination. Pepite fancies
herself as a singer and she & Psyche have duets every now and then.
Tons of love to you and mmaskars to everyone else.

Your loving,
Indu

316

Ahmadmgar Fort Prison,
iOth July, 1943

Darling Indu,

I liked your pictures. In last year’s snap you look about fifteen. You
look a little older this year and the chin and jaws are firmer. Perhaps
this means growth and development, both bodily and mental. But
pictures depend so much on clothes and accidental circumstances.
They capture a particular mood and fix it. Puphi (Nan) wrote to me
that the ‘service bob’ suited you very well and you looked very boyish
in It.

I should like to have your other snapshot which you mention.
Also, if you can manage it, Mummie’s pictures taken at Panchgani. -

I got Mridu’s' long message which you conveyed to me and I was
glad to have news of her. She is a very brave girl, one of the most
courageous persons I know.

Have vegetables been grown in any quantity in Anand Bhawan?
Eighteen months ago or more I impressed Ladli Bhai with this and
suggested that there should be widespread sowing of vegetable seeds.
He was not keen and said we would not require all this. Of course
not, but then there were our servants, our friends, our neighbours
and indeed so many other people who would need them. I do not
think he quite appreciated my argument; stiU he promised to make a
beginning.

1 . Mndul.i Sarabhai, member of the Sarabhai family of Ahmedabad, who was active in
the freedom struggle.

376

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

One of our occupations just at present is to watch the new
generation of birds come out of their nests.The other day we discovered
a bulbul’s nest right in the heart of a creeper, quite low down and
accessible. It was a lovely piece of weaving, cunningly resting on and
partly hung fix)m the thin strands of the creeper. Two baby bulbuls
peeped out of it and the nest seemed much too small for them.
Between the bulbul parents and the inainas nearby there was
continuous war, but fortunately no damage was done.

The first two days or so, when the nestlings come out of their
nests, are a time of trial for them and dieir parents. The solitary neein
tree we have got in a corner of our yard contains a colony of kites,
and they swoop down on the fledglings and sometimes succeed in
carrying them away, but not if the parents are anywhere about. It is
extraordinary how the small maim attacks a kite fiercely and pursues
it, if the kite ventures to come near its young. I do not know how
many of the fledglings have been carried off by the kites. Yesterday
we actually saw one such tragedy — ^it was a maim babe.

The bulbul in India seems to be a much more prosaic bird than its
cousins in Europe or in Iran — ^the nightingales, rossignoh, Nachti^alls,
etc. In Iran it is called the hazar-dastan. It does not seem to indulge in
much singing here.

The quotation you have given from an old article^ is singularly
true and appropriate — much more so for those who go to prison
than the writer probably imagined.

What a lovely idea is contained in the three fines of ‘The Seed
Shop’ poem!^

I have just been reading a review of a new Chinese book translated
by Arthur Waley — or rather the book is an old one but the translation
is new. It is a novel of wliich the central character is an old friend,
Hiuen-tsang. It is called: Monkey by Wu Ch’eng-en, tran.slated by
Arthur Waley. I do not suppose you can easily get it. But note it down
and get it when you can.

Yes, tell Nurie that I often think of Chand Bibi. Inevitably so.

This letter is long enough already. So I shall give you only a single
couplet of Ghalib:

1. See letter dated 3 July 1943 (No. 315).

2. See letter dated 3 July 1943 (No. 315).

• PRISON WALLS •

377

<t- aT*Jj

(v-Jli) U^vlSj ^

In Hindi:

ft ^ I Tipi ^ ^

TtS57 = di^; m = ^

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

Oonm Hall,
Panchgani,
14th July, 1943

Darling Papu,

Today it’s just a week since our arrival in Panchgani, and the whole
time it has rained almost non-stop. Unfortunately my raincoat — it is
an old one belonging to Chand — is far from waterproof. I have a
cape in Allahabad but it has no hood and I do hate umbrellas, especially
out on a walk. I have borrowed a pair of ancient Wellingtons from
Mrs Vakil.

I am vastly intrigued by a little bird. It appears to be the only bird
in Panchgani apart from the babblers. It goes ‘Ferdi’, ‘Ferdi’ — ‘tweet-
tweet’, rather like an insolent schoolboy. I haven’t managed to get a
glimpse of it yet.

About the snapshots. Mummie’s is in Allahabad. I shall send it to
you as soon as I get back.

All sorts of seedlings were sown in our garden. And whilst we
were in jail, I hear that some cauliflowers & cucumbers and other

1. Ghalib'The steed of life
Spirited does it go.

Where does it stop, who can know?
Ncitlicr our feet in the stirrups are
Not the reins do we hold'

378

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

vegetables did come up. But I don’t think anything has been sown
this season. The mali says that the porcupines come and eat up
everything before it is time for them to be picked. I do not know how
true this is. One or two porcupines were certainly killed by the
chowkidar after my release.

Lots of love to you — namaskars to the others.

Indu

318

Ahtnadnagar Fort Prison,
17th July, 1943

Darling Indu,

I have received the cigarette case and the six boxes of cigarettes. Also
the books you sent me.

I have had no trouble with my feet, as far as I can remember, for
over twenty years in spite of chappals and the Hke. But I do think
chappals are not good for the feet except for home wear. It is absurd to
go for a long walk in them, and in a crowd they are a nuisance and
sometimes give a great deal of trouble. I think my immunity from
foot trouble has largely been due to my old habit of running which
has kept the foot muscles strong and the arch of the foot firm in spite
of chappals. For the last four or five years I have been wearing Peshawari
chappals with a rubber heel added. This gives nearly an inch of heel. I
find now that I feel uncomfortable in ordinary heeUess chappals. My
balance is upset a little and there is no proper grip. You had better
wear well-fitting shoes with inside supports when necessary.

Many weeks ago I asked Betty to write to Walsh, my publisher in
America, and tell him to continue my subscriptions to various
American periodicals. I suggest that you might also write to Walsh
and give him the list of periodicals and teU him that I would be grateful
if he could arrange to have them sent regularly, paying for them out
of my royalty account with him. Here is the fist: Life, Time, Nation,
New Republic, Reader’s Digest, Fortune (for Feroze), Asia,Anterasia, Pacific
Affairs (Quarterly), Foreign Affairs (Quarterly).

The Times Book Club of London continues to send me some
periodicals — New Statesman, etc — although I have not paid them
anything for years. They have been very decent about it, possibly
because I am one of their earliest members and subscribers. When

• PRISON WALLS •

379

you write to Krishna next you might ask him to settle my account
with the T.B.C. out of any royalty monies he may hold on my behalf.

As soon as you teU me of the address where they are to be sent to,
I shall send you a few books. Among these will be Sylvain Levi s* Le
TheAtre Indiati which, after a lot of searching and hunting. Psyche
unearthed for me from the library of the Bombay branch of the Royal
Asiaric Society. Please give this book to her. But before you do so, you
might glance through it yourself.

Do you remember the visit we paid in Paris to Madame Sylvain
Levi in 1938? Her husband had died a few months earlier and she
was inconsolable."

This is from Amir:^

% 371 ^ ^ 3tH41

TTt UW = what is happening = ^ WRRtrf PT ^ Ijf?! 7^ I.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

319

Oomra Hall,
Panchgani,
17th July, 1943

Darling Papu,

Soon after I had posted your letter. Psyche and I nearly had a fit! With

1. Sylvain Levi (1863—1935). French orient.ilist.

2 Jawaharlal Nehru visited Paris both in 1935 and 1938. Since Sylvain Levi, the French
orientalist, died in 1935, the reference to a visit to Madame Sylvain Levi in 1938 is
probably a memory lapse. The visit may actually have taken place m 1935.

3. Amir Kliusru (1255—1325). a poet of medieval India.

4 Amir What goes on with us today.

Tomorrow tales of it
They’ll make!

380

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER. •

the post came a telegram from Feroze from Victoria Terminus saying
that he was arriving in Panchgani the same evening! He is here now.
Apparently somebody paid his fine, so with the remission on his
year’s sentence, he was released on the 10th.

I am missing you here more than these last months — ^for I know
you would love it here. To walk on the rain-swept streets and breathe
the clear fresh, completely dustless air. To look down on to the lovely
soft browns and greens of the fields and the shiny silver of the rivers
in the valleys, and the distant mountain ranges, blue as a painting by
Roerich.^

Cleaning out Mr Bahadurji’s^ room for Feroze, we found a book
of common Indian birds, brought out by the Society of Natural History.
Looking at the pictures, I was just wondering whether ‘Ferdi’, the
bird, was a grey tit or nuthatch, for I had had a glimpse of its black
head and greyish body — when he called out again and we rushed out
for another glimpse. We saw a bright red patch under the tail. So
everybody says it must be the red-vented bulbul. Also in the book I
was able to identify the lovely brown and blue creature Nora and I
saw in Naini — it is the white-breasted kingfisher.

Very much love.
Your loving,
Indu

320

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
24th July, 1943

Darling Indu,

I was not terribly surprised when I read m your letter that Feroze
had arrived in Panchgani; indeed the surprise came earlier in another
way. It so happened that I learnt of Feroze’s release from a letter
Narendra Deva received from his son in Fyzabad. I expected him to
roll up suddenly at Panchgani — ^and so he did. It is just like him.

I hope he is well and his foot has recovered. I must now give effect
to a resolution I made some months ago. Will you give Feroze, on my
behalf, a Schick electric shaver — mind it is a Schick. The other ones

1. Nikolai Roerich: Russian artist.

2. D.N. Bahadugi; a friend of the Nehru fanuly.

• PRISON WALLS •

38l

are not, I think, so good. Draw the money for it from my account at
Bachhraj’s. You can find out from Betty where this shaver can be
obtained in Bombay. I have now been using it daily for just over six
months and I am a complete convert to it. It is undoubtedly an
improvement on old-style methods.

I am giving you below three couplets of Ghalib. They are sad and
written in utter disillusion, written after the tragic happenings of 1857
and 1858. Ghalib’s world had come to an end, the shadowy Delhi
court was no more, his friends were dead or in great distress. There
was hardly any centre or place for the culture he represented. This
feeling must have been widespread among the relics of the old world
in India then. The shock had been terrible and had brought ruin to
everything he valued.

^ *1 J>r ^ Jr

^ tjy jj* |»A

J* Ai Jjf uUV jjl J* 4> (Jj^

jb jL-j *j Jjf jUj /

(v^^) ^ jj jj'

In Hindi:

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ it

FT ^ it sfk FT 'FIT Ft^ H it

t F art itFT TIT fifi Fli^

^ FI TITF ^ it, aftr FTIF ^ q it

F 41*ik, it Fti ^ it ilHiwK
ait arm: F it fftfi ^ h it ’

F|T = FcRt FI Fp = a person with whom one converses; FT FF =
one living in the same shelter; FTRI = guardian; itHlWK = one who
nurses an ill person; ileus^i = mourner.

With love to you and Feroze,
Your loving,

— — Papu

1 Ghalib. I long to live where I’m all alone;

With none to speak to

And none to share my thoughts!

A dwelling without doors and walls it be
With no neighbour and no guard,

None to tend me if sick I he
And none to mourn if there I die!

382 • TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

321

Ooima Hall,
Pancli^ani,
26th July, 1943

Darling Papu,

Today Psyche has gone to Bombay for four or five days.

Being alone has its advantages. After seeing Psyche offi J climbed up
a nearby hillock, Avhere Psyche & I have been a dozen times, and
discovered two lovely wild flow^ers. One plant of the butterfly orchid
and dozens of tiny marsh gentians — at least that is what I drink they are.
The marsh gentians are such a prett}^ shade of blue, very pure and cold.
Just shows how litde we usually observe of the world around us . . .

While in Bombay I acquired a book called Eat and Grow Beautifiih
The theory being that beauty is entirely dependent on good liealth;
every cell and every organ in perfect condition. And perfect health is
only possible if we eat the Tight’ food, the right food being lots of
vegetable and fhiit, mosdy raw. The author is probably a disciple of
Bircher-Benner,^ some of whose books you bought at the Vega
restaurant for Tandonji.^ The book doesn’t have much new
information — -just what one has always known: calcium for good teeth
and nails, iodine for hair. Vitamin A for eyes, and so on. But it is useful
in that it gives lists of the foods that are rich in these nece.ssary minerals
and vitamins. Great stress is laid on drinking the juices of raw
vegetables, such as spinach and carrots. Unfortunately the book is not
very readable, being full of repetitions, numerous examples of various
film stars and many pompous statements. I don’t know what you can
do in the food line, where you are. But for Dr Mahmud’s benefit I am
giving the list for eye-health: sea-foods, Scotch oats, cod-liver oil,
watercress, beets, garlic, cabbage, spinach and egg-yolk. These things
are supposed to contain a mineral called ‘fluorine’. Apart from this
mineral. Vitamin A is needed. The best foods for this are: liver, fresh
butter, fresh cream, fresh milk, fresh cheese, mangoes. This book
wouldn’t do for Tandonji or Bircher-Benner, as they don’t believe in
milk or milk-products.

Much love,
Indu

1 . Bircher-Bennei-; Swiss dietician, inv'cntor of tlic bre.akfast food muesli.

2. Purushottani DasTandon: prominent Congress leader and colleague ofjawaliarla!

Nehru.

• PRISON WALLS •

383

322

Ahmadtiagar Fort Prison,
7th August, i943

Indu darling,

I have communicated your list of foods containing ferrocene and
Vitamin A to Mahmud and to others interested therein. There is a
saying that in youth one thinks of love, in middle age of food, and
later of medicine. I do not know what stage I am in but it is certainly
not of medicine. Most of my colleagues here are, however,
unfortunately full of medicine and even food takes a medical aspect.
So this business of vitamins and proteins and carbohydrates, etc., is of
interest to them.

I do not know when I shall start spinning or how long I shall keep
it up. But you might send me some good punts. Bombay is the only
place you are likely to get them easily.

In a day or two we shall complete one full year here. What have I
done during this twelvemonth? I have read much and some at least of
the books have been worthwhile and added to my knowledge and
insight. But am I any the wiser for all this browsing and pursuing the
printed word? I do not know. I have pottered about a good deal
round garden beds, and dug with vigour, and played with the soft
fresh earth, and watched the seedhngs peep out from its surface and
look with yearning towards the sun, and grow healthy and strong,
and then flower and die. That at least has helped me tremendously to
keep physically fit and mentally occupied and turned my mind from
happenings that worry and distress.

Anyway I am a year older, as are all of us. The sense of the work to
do, so little done, and ever less and less time to do it, oppresses.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

323

Ahmadtiagar Fort Prison,
21st August, 1943

Darling,

If Nani is in Benares and likely to stay there for a while you could go

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

384

and meet her there. You might also induce her to spend some time
with you in Allahabad. In view of her weak health and eye trouble I
think it would be desirable for you to see her as early as you
conveniently can. This would please her and cheer her up . . .

In the early days, that is before and after the Mughals came to
power in India, there was no Urdu language used as a literary vehicle.
Gradually this Urdu developed as a camp and bazaar language, with
its basic background of Hindi and with Persian and Arabic words
thrown in. In those early days people connected with the court used
to write poetry in Persian — the court language — or sometimes also
in Hindi. This Hindi was what might be called pure Hindi. Thus
Amir Khusrau. A later famous example was Rahim, a well-known
Hindi poet of Akbar’s day — Rahim or rather Abdul Rahim Khan-e-
Khanan^ was the son of old Bairam Khan who had been Akbar’s
guardian and whom Akbar pushed out as soon as he was old enough
to do so. His son Abdul Rahim was a remarkable person. He was one
of the biggest grandees of Akbar’s court (Khan-e-Khanan was the
liighest title), he was a successful general, and a scholar in various
languages — Persian, Arabic, Sanskrit & Hindi. He was very rich and
recklessly generous. In fact he is best known today by these stories of
amazing and sometimes ridiculous generosity. Having developed this
reputation he was given to showing off far too much. After Akbar’s
death he got into trouble with Jehangir and was interned. Here is a
doha by Rahim.

fsi'id ^ ^ I'H I

Tit 4 TiTiaq II 2

Rahim was a contemporary of Tulsi Das, whom he must have
known.

The beginnings of literary Urdu took place in the early years of
the eighteenth century when the great Mughal empire was fading

1. Abdul Rahim Khan-e-Khanan (1556—1626): a poet, scholar and noble at the court of
die Emperor Akbar.

2. Rahim' Honour once lost is never gained.

Howsoever one may tiy^

Milk turned sour, O Rahman, butter does not make
however much you may chum!

• PRISON WALLS •

385

away. Urdu, having become a spoken melange, was used by some bright
person for some clever couplets — form and imagery Persian, language
more Hindi than later. This caught on. It — the language — ^was called
Rekhta. To begin with this was not considered serious poetry — that
was in Persian. But this vogue grew — and curiously enough as it grew
it became more Persianised in language and substance. There was no
prose in Urdu then (nasra = prose) but only nazm — ^poetry. Prose
came slowly in the early nineteenth century.

The early Urdu nazm is full of Hindi words and Hindi and even
(Jehati endings. These drop out later. Here is a simple couplet of an
early Urdu poet — ^Mazhar — ^Mirza Jan-e-Janan:^

iUjS' LJ" LT ^ tj *i

^ 3:? ^ ^ ^ ^

3FR gldl ■dHd SjHdl, 33W, dl'jdH 3N1TT ^

= garden; dl'.idH = gardener.

Here is a clever couplet (of later days by a poet whose name I do
not remember) with sarcasm in it:

OUji *S ' yy Af

VU' ^ yA-J

In Hindi:

^ %% ^ I, ^ ggig

The form of words is somewhat archaic, is when

animal sacrifices take place.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

1. MazharJan-e-Janan (1699— 1781)‘ a medieval poet

2. MazharJan-e-JanatirThis desire of ours, alas, remained unfulfilled
What a life it would’ve been

If ours were the gardener,

ours the garden, and ours the rose'

3. Funny are the ways of this world;

Look, he who kills on the Festive Day,

He gets the reward too!

386

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

324

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
28th August, 1943

Darling Indu,

Betty sent me a rakhi for Raksha Baudhan and a sumptuous book —
The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations. This book is a delightful
companion.

In my last letter sent to Amma (to Lahore) I asked her to send me
some supari {bhuni supari with elaichi) as she has sometimes sent me
previously. Having written to her, I regretted it, for this meant giving
her trouble. With her weak health and poor eyesight, preparing this
might well become a burden to her. It would be better if she asked
Bappi or someone else to prepare it.

When you go to Allahabad do not forget to send me one or more
good snapshots of Mummie and the one of yourself you mentioned
in a letter.

News of starvation and death in Bengal and Orissa is so harrowing
that one feels sick at heart . . .^ I want you to know that you can draw
upon my account to any extent you like (subject only to the extent of
the account) for any eSective help that you can envisage. It is the fate
of the children and the young boys and girls that upsets me.

Love,
Your lovmg,
Papu

325

Anaud Bhaum,
Allahabad,
29th August, 1943

Darling Papu,

This is just a hasty scrawl to send my love.

Ladhbhai is complaining about Datadin.“ Datadin is very careless.
Ladlibhai says it is entirely due to negligence that we have no vegetables
in the garden. Ladlibhai gave the seeds to Datadin and even saw that

1 Deleted by censors.

2. Gardener at Anand Bhawan.

• PRISON WALLS •

387

they were planted. And yet nothing has come up although Ladlibhai’s
garden & the hospital garden are flourishing.

We are very busy meeting people. I am just in the mood to shriek
at everybody for their complacency.

Much love,
Indu

326

Ahmadmgar Fort Prison,
4th September, 1943

Darhng Indu,

So now you must be in Allahabad, or perhaps in Benares with Amma.
Give my love to her and tell her that I have written to her twice
recently, on July 20th and August 11th. Yet she complains of not having
received any reply from me to her letter. These Hindi letters evidently
take longer to reach their destinations.

The books you sent have reached me — all those mentioned in
your letter, plus the China Handbook. It is a good and attractive selection.
Mahmud is excited about the books on improving eyesight.

I read with great interest your musings on philosophy’ It is perhaps
early for you to philosophise, and yet it is inevitable when the harsh
facts of existence thrust themselves upon us. 1 have dipped into all
manner of books on philosophy and science, from the Upanishads
and Plato and Indian & Greek philosophy to many of the modern
expositions and enquiries. It is a fascinating subject opening out
innumerable avenues of thought, and yet it seems to lead nowhere.
At any rate I do not think I am much wiser. But my tendency is to
turn away from metaphysical speculations. But no thoughtful person,
however scientific he claims to be, can entirely turn away from some
aspect of metaphysics, or let us call it the, for the present, unknown, if
not unknowable. One simply must seek and enquire and delve deep —
the Faustian attitude — whatever the consequences. (I am reading Faust
again.) Recently I read Nietzsche. I remember reading him rather
carelessly when I vras in Cambridge. I dislike his fundamental thesis,
but there is much that is attractive in what he says, or perhaps it is the
manner of saying it that fixes the attention.

1. Letter not published.

?88

• TWO ALONn, TWO TOGETHER •

We come back after aU to a certain pragmatic attitude. I think you
are perfectly right in saying that our main trouble is a lack of organic
connections with nature or life. We have gone off at a tangent from
the circle of life, uprooted ourselves and thus lost the sense of fullness
and coordination with nature. A peasant, at his very low level of living
on the soil and for the soil, has that sense of organic connection.
Hence, I suppose, his extraordinary tenacity and perseverance. But
his level of existence is terribly low, and most of us had rather be
uprooted than exist at that level. To live at a high level and yet to have
that organic connection with life — that I suppose is the problem
humanity is trying to solve now in its own crude, cruel and wasteful
way.

Why does one do anything? Hardly because of reasoned thinking,
though this may be behind the immediate urge to some extent. It is
this urge, this impulse, overmastering and uncontrollable, that drives
one on. Our moods depend even less on reason and the smallest
things affect them, exalting them or depressing them. Often one forgets
or hardly remembers the cause for this exaltation or depression, yet
the mood prevails. I have felt sometimes extraordinarily exhilarated
by the sight of a sunset sky, or the deep blue patch between the
monsoon clouds, or even a flower which I had missed and have
suddenly seen. For a moment I have felt at one with nature.

Why does one act? Impossible to answer unless one goes down
deep into the depths of the unconscious self of man, a journey which
is beyond our capacity. We may at best just glimpse into those depths
and return mystified. Have you seen those lovely lines by Yeats on an
Irish airman?

Nor law, nor duty bade me fight.

Not public men, nor cheering crowds,

A lonely impulse of delight
Drove to this tumult in the clouds.

I balanced aU, brought all to mind.

The years to come seemed waste of breath,

A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death.

I have been reading Virginia Woolf {To the Lighthouse). The more I
read her the more I like her. There is a magic about her waiting,
something ethereal, hmpid like running water, and deep like a clear

• PRISON WALLS •

389

mountain lake. What is her book about? So very htde that you can tell
anyone; and yet so much that it fills your mind, covers it with a gossamer
web, out of which you peer at the past, at yourself, at others. Did you
ever meet her?

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

327

Atiand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
4th September, 1943

Darling Papu,

Feroze and I went to Benares the day before yesterday. Nani is there
with three children: Ashok, Chitra and one of the twins, Om.^ We
spent the whole afternoon with her. She has been getting a temperature
and her eyes are getting weaker. The two elder children go to school.
Om is about fourteen months old. A couple of days ago he swallowed
a pice and it has not come out yet! On top of that he has pneumonia.
So with all these worries, Nani said it would not be possible for her
to get away from Benares.

We met Malaviyaji in Benares. It was pathetic to see him, so
weak he has grown. For the first few minutes Malaviyaji’s voice was
all right, then it dropped to a whisper and finally dwindled away.
Towards the end of our talk we could hardly understand what he
was saying. I felt it was cruel to sit there and make him talk but he
would not let us go. Every time I made a move, he would say ‘baitho
baitho jaldi kya hai.’^ Fie was distressed about Bengal and a great
many other things as well. Malaviyaji asked after you and sent his
love and blessings. He was perfectly sweet to us. After we had finally
said goodbye and were getting into the car, he sent for Feroze and
had another talk with him.

Frances Gunther’s present has reached me at last — three days ago.
It is a silver flat cake spoon, with which you dole out slices of cake if

1 Children of Chand Bahadur and Rup Koul.
2. Pray be seated, why are you m a hurry to go

390

• TWO alone, two together •

the company is too polite for you to touch them with your fingers. It’s
rather a nice one.

Lots of love,
Your loving,
Indu

328

[Amnd Blmimt,
Allahabad]
7th /9th September, i943

DarHng Papu,

I am sorry I quite forgot to enclose the snapshots of Mummie in my
last letter, although I had them out and ready to send. Here are two. I
am not sending mine as the enlargement has turned out to be awful.

Just before your letter came I had sent a cheque to Sapru’s* Leader
relief fund.^ But money is not what is needed most.

Actually I went to see Tej Bahadugi because I had heard he wasn’t
well — and also to consult him about doing something like Sind has
done: that is to bring over batches of children to our province and
look after them here. Tej Bahadugi and everybody else too says that
this will not be possible here because we shall so soon be in the same
position ourselves. I have been frantic trying to find out what a private
individual Hke me can do. When this children’s scheme fell through I
thought of going to Bengal. I have written and talked to various
people. But there again it is the same thing. Sir Tej says that the only
good that one can do by going is to see for oneself just what conditions
are like. I am now awaiting a letter from Abhayanandji. The Math is
doing real good work, I hear.

Meanwhile I am concentrating on the garden. I have put in
cauliflower, carrot, radish & lettuce and anr now having plots prepared
for the winter vegetables and potatoes. We have such a lot of ground.
Feroze suggests putting in wheat too.

At the Sapru’s they have dug up their augaii for potatoes.

1 . SirTej Bahadur Sapru: eminent jurist and Liberal leader from Allahabad; a friend of
the Nehnis.

2. Bengal was struck by a famine in 1 943. Ttic Leader, a nationalist newspaper ofAllahabad.
had instituted a relief fund to help those affected by the famine.

• PRISON WALLS •

391

Nani is still having a temperature. Little Om has at last brought
out the pice he swallowed but he still has a bad cough.

Lots & lots of love, darling one,
Your loving,
Indu

329

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
ilth September, 1943

Darling Indu,

I have had a letter from Amma from Banaras. She has received one of
my letters to her. Surprisingly — and yet why be surprised? — she says
that part of this letter was blacked out. You can imagine what I can
write to Amma of all persons. How any of the purely domestic matters
concerning various people’s health outside should offend the sensitive
judgement of the censor it is a little difficult to imagine.

Yesterday’s newspaper brought the interesting news that Feroze
had been acquitted in appeal. Of course it is a minor matter that he
had already served his full sentence of a year.

I liked the book you sent me, Han Suyin’s autobiography:
Destination Chungking. It is very well written; her prose is clear and
hmpid and runs effortlessly. The descriptions of Chinese hfe during
the war, and more particularly of the bombing of Chungking are
vivid. I thought again and again of what I had seen in Chungking
four years ago . . .

This was four years ago and what a lot has happened since then.
The bombers and the bombs, unusual sights, some things that only
occurred in far away and backward countries like Abyssinia, China
and Spam, are now the commonest of experiences for half the world
at least.

It is an odd experience to go back to the past and live it again,
almost forgetting the events that followed. As if we had visited a theatre
and seen a powerful play which gripped us, and in which, curiously
enough, we were both actors and spectators.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

392 • TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

330

Aiiand Bfmwan,
Allahabad,
13 til September, 1943

Darling Papu,

In my last letter’ I told you that I had written to Swami Abhayanandji
of the Ramkrishna Math. His reply came this morning. He writes;

There is no dearth of workers in Bengal; some of the prominent
Bengali and non-Bengali Relief Societies have already taken
up the work of rendering help . . . Personally I would advise
you to undertake the responsible task of collecting money,
clothes, raw foodstuQs from other provinces and sending them
to some of the Relief Committees. I feel it is wiser for people
to work on the lines indicated above in other provinces for the
help of the people of Bengal . . .

Along with my last letter I sent you yet another book ofVirginia
Woolf’s, The Death of the Moth. I have not yet read it. I wish I had met
her — even the books I only discovered after her death.^

A couple of days ago I received another airgraph from Agatha. A
really sweet one! Perhaps you will be interested in this further news
of her garden:

My garden is blossoming like the proverbial rose — a mixture
of plants and vegetables. You would particularly love a mass
of — what we call — tobacco plants. They only come out at night
and when they do — they give out a glorious scent — not unlike
the starry flowers that Indian women wear in their hair. Next
door to us lives an interesting mineralogist, who understands
all about soils — and the kind of nourishment different plants
need. He is known in the district as an irritable person and he
can be quite rude. But we have become great friends. He is
experimenting in pumpkins that he trains up to his first floor
and the gigantic fruits hang like golden lanterns. People come

1. Refers to letter dated 7/9 September 1943 (No 328)
2 VirginiaWoolf died ill 1941.

• t'F.I^OS V Ml s •

3 93

troni al! over to look at tliem. but the children in Battersea also
go Uirthcr and lean over to feel them. A strange commentar)'
on the war situation is evidenced from their remarks — for they
think it is a lemon plant, as. when small, they might be said to
rc'^cmble this nearly forgotten fruit. Then one realises that
chiliiren of that age have probably never knowm what a lemon
is. I find that now the old doctor has put barbed wire round his
precious e.xperimental plant and a notice on the said wire, ‘THIS
IS A PUMPKIN PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH’. He is fearful
lest these small people will be tempted to take my tomatoes
that are now beginning to ripen and suggests that I. too,
barricade them in some w.iy. But 1 told him that I am going to
c.vpcriinent in the innate goodness of human nature!!! Up to
the present this had worked, but one can never tell. Besides,
several of these naughty children have become quite friendly
and call out ‘give us a flower. Miss’ which I do — in the belief it
m.ay prevent them taking my precious tomatoes!

Re, bird watching — 1 have spotted two very regular visitors and
hope to make friends with them soon: a lovely vivid oriole and a
perky little robin. There are lots of blue jays too and in the afternoon
just as 1 am settling down to a nap, I hear the call of the coppersmith —
till; tuk. But I haven’t seen it yet.

Much love. Papushka' darling.
Your loving,
Indu

331

21st September, 1943

D.irling Papu,

I hose d.iys Allahabad is h.asing one show after another in aid of the
Bengal relief fund. It is rather remarkable how even the poorer people
aw putting a^ide their own troubles — ^and they have enough — to give
their tnite to Bengal.

I am going to quote to you a psoem about a Chinese friend of
mine. .Shelley Wang,’ You may h.ave seen it before and you may

Indira n atnehiii}; .i RuWian ending to the fhtnil!.ir ‘P.ipu’.

- A ChttiiHc V riter ho died in July P'39.

394

• TWO ALONR, TWO TOGETHER •

remember him too — ^you met him in London once or twice. It was
soon after that that he returned to China and was killed. The poem is
by John Hewitt and brings a very vivid picture of Wang. Here it is:

In Manor}' of Shelley Wang

I cannot cheat my thought. I remember too well

his bland smooth face by that hearth, his cigarettes,

his explanation of the characters,

the firm fist with the brush held vertical,

his glinting glasses laminated thick,

his way of speaking of his early days;

his wise grandfather, poetry and tea,

Confucius, soya beans, and Mao Tse Tung. . .

He was a restful man, a quiet scholar,
compact of wisdom, courage, tolerance
a gentle poet even of our hills
making a vivid stanza as he pass’d,
disHking our literal art’s conceit,
and setting style and reason against despair.

For all his greatness life could offer him
only a little death in a vast campaign,
a manuscript unpublished, and a book
of badly printed verse on wartime paper.

Yet I do not think he would have understood
that sick word failure. There are other words . . .

The hospital is doing very well these days. It is quite full and
many people have to be refused admission.

My namaskars to everybody and much love to you.

Your loving,
Indu

• PRISON WALLS •

395

332

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
2nd October, 1943

Indu darling,

I remember Shelley Wang very well, although I met him only twice, I
think, at various parties in London. He had an attractive and rather
distinctive face. When I went to China I enquired after him but could
not get any straight news. There seemed to be some mystery about
him. Then someone told me that he had wanted to meet me but was
too far away to travel to Chungking. And then came news of his
death. I remember definitely, however, that he had a certain
premonition of death on the eve of his departure for China from
London.

For some years past it used to be my custom to give some khadi
clothing to the servants about this time of the year. Also I gave khadi
coupons for Upadhyaya’s children. If you can carry on this practice I
shall be glad. The children of the servants as also Upadhyaya’s little
girls should have first preference.

The swallows here have grown in number and have made their
nests inside rooms and verandahs. I like them; they are so swaft and
quiet, so unlike the noisy and quarrelsome sparrows. It is rather
fascinating to see a swallow’s nest being built up, quietly, efficiently
and without fuss. It seems to stick on to the bare wall or a corner
without any visible support. AU feathers, soft and downy, collected
probably from distant places and stuck together with some kind of
cement.

Another frequent visitor is a kind of hummingbird, smaller than
the average sparrow, and with a long pointed beak. It flits about from
flower to flower extracting the honey. The Hindustani name for it is, I
am told, shakarkhora. Then there is a great variety of butterflies.

Here are two couplets of Ghalib:

T jS

. (4^^) ! (JJ^ fj* A^JU Ijt, Jaw*

yT' jlfci Ji ^

396

• TWO Al-ONC, TWO TOGHTHnR ♦

In Hindi:

^ ^ ^ % 3T5I ^ ^ ^ ^ ?

^ ^ fFf ^3TR ^ I

3Tra srra^-TT-^-Ti 3T?^ ^ II ’

The first couplet is easy.

The second couplet is more difficult. It is often quoted. It means,
more or less: now that every parvenu and conceited fool has constituted
himself as a connoisseur and judge of the beautiflil, there is no honour
or place left for those who have the eyes to see and appreciate.

^ = greed-worshipper; = beauty; '^str =

3RRI = dd^i; 33?;^ = Those with sight, i.e., those who

have the capacity to appreciate beauty.

Mention of khankah reminds me of an interesting change in name
of a famous khankah somewhere in Central Asia. This used to be a
Buddhist monastery in the old days and, it is said, a thousand monks
lived there. It was called Nau Vihai. Later, when Islam spread to Central
Asia, this monasteiy became a khankah and, with a very slight change,
it was called Nan Bahar. Very few people connected this new name
with its Buddhist — Indian original.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

1. Ghalib'Whcn the tavern itself we’re made to leave.
Why restrain to a specific place?

A seminary, a monaster)' or else a mosque,

Any place it may now be! ,

When professions of the greed-worshippers
admiring beauty soar.

The grace of the truly discenung ones
finds respect no more'

• PRISON WALLS •

397

333

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
[October 1943]

Darling Papu,

Nani writes to say that she sent some bhuni supari and miirabba to
Chhoti Puphi, to be sent on to you.

The books in your room have already been dusted. I have told
Kilialiq about the Library but that will take considerable time and
when Puphi is here it is extremely difficult to get any servant for
upstairs work.

I have a fair amount of work these days, with all the committees
Feroze has formed — typing, meeting people, sending out notices and
so on. But the rest of the time it is pretty lonely, being all alone
upstairs. I go down for meals of course but it’s rather formal — ^like a
hotel or something. Feroze is out of town at present.

Darling Papu — I do miss you so much. I keep your room closed,
for I hate going into it and finding it all empty and unhved-in.
Sometimes when 1 see a new bird or something I feel like rushing in
to call you to have a look and then of course I remember that you are
somewhere in India, but definitely not in Anand Bhawan. Oh, it’s
perfectly awful. And the house without you is asleep and unresponsive
and awaiting your return.

All my love, darling one,
Indu

334

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
7th /8th October, 1943

Darling Papu,

Your letter No. 29, dated September 25th* reached me last evening.

Darhng — I just don’t know what to write. This last letter of yours
has been very depressing and discouraging. Not because of anything
you have written, let me hasten to add, but because of the state in

1. Letter not published.

398

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

which it arrived. Beginning from the last paragraph of page Uvo right
up to the second paragraph of page eight is blackout!

Vijaya Dashmi Day

I do not know if Puphi has written to you — she is leaving Anand
Bhawan and taking a house in Allahabad. Chhoti Puphi mentioned
the fact when I was in Bombay but she said it was all very vague. On
my return I asked Ladli Bhai and he knew nothing about it. But
there was a great deal of whispering going on among the servants. I
was reluctant to ask Puphi herself as I felt that if she had wanted to
talk to me about it she would certainly have mentioned the subject
herself. It was only three or four days ago that Puphi mentioned moving
in my presence — and everything seemed to be so definite, I got quite
a shock. I didn’t know how to broach the subject so I wrote her a
note, because it did, and does, seem ridiculous to me that I should
occupy this big house on my own while the four of them are crowded
into some ‘bungalow’. Of course, having been kept completely in the
dark so far, it was difficult for me to say anything. I told her that this
move would hurt you and that if she was moving because of Feroze
and me — surely we could come to some other arrangement. Feroze
& I being only two and having so few belongings and encumbrances
could easily go somewhere. In any case I shall be out of Allahabad
most of the time when I start my visiting — Jaipur, Lahore, etc. And I
want to go to Bombay too and if Feroze did come to Allahabad he
would prefer to stay with his mother. But Puphi replied that her
moving was not at aU because of us and this was my home, and so on.
I do wish she were not going. This is such a wrong time to set up
house, and engage new servants and so forth. There are difficulties
enough in life today without our making fi-esh ones — and such artificial
and unnecessary ones too. However, she has made up her mind now.
I do not know when she intends moving.

Lots of love,
Indu

• PRISON WALLS •

399

3 3 5

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
9th October, il943

Darling Indu,

I have your letter of the 30th Sept.* Of course you can store up your
furniture somewhere in Anand Bhawan. What a question to ask! I
shall write to Puphi . . . But surely it is not necessary for me to write
to her. Nor is it necessary for you to ask my or anyone else’s
permission. Naturally, when one lives together a certain cooperation
is necessary and references have to be made. Mention the matter to
Puphi and fix it up with her.

I have suggested to Puphi that the time has come when an
ambulatory service might be undertaken by the hospital, tapping the
nearby villages to begin with. That is an essential development in
India and we should begin to think on these lines. I do not like static
conditions. That the hospital is doing good work and is crowded is
not quite enough. It should be dynamic, progressive, experimental
and model. Widespread medical service in India must have an
ambulatory side.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

336

Ahmadnagar Foit Prison,
16th October, 1943

DarUng Indu,

Your last letter,^ which came yesterday, has certainly upset my
composure and led me furiously to think, or perhaps it is more correct
to say that my mind has been wandering like a vagabond into all
manner of dark lanes and passages. You were right in feeling that I
would be hurt when I learnt of Puphi s intention of shifting to a new
house. I had not heard of this before; no one had mentioned it
previously. So when I read of it for the first tune in your letter I was

1. Letter not pubbshed

2. Refers to letter dated 7/8 October 1943 (No. 334).

400

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

taken aback, amazed, and felt very tired, a feeling I do not usually
experience. It is a small matter in our domestic sphere and in this
world of big happenings we cannot afford to Jose our perspective.
And yet even such relatively small matters have a way of disturbing
the mind. I know a large number of people of all sorts and I manage
to get on with them tolerably well. And yet really intimate personal
bonds are of necessity few, very few. When these are strained, it hurts.
Sometimes this becomes inevitable and circumstances beyond ones
control drive one to it. But that, I think, is very rare and usually there
is some defect in us, something lacking, that leads to such
consequences. And the main defect is probably a want of perfect
frankness. We nurse thoughts and misapprehensions when perhaps a
frank approach would resolve them or, at any rate, lead us to an
understanding of the others viewpoint.

What do we aim at in life? Many things, personal and impersonal.
In a sense every problem can be reduced, in the final analysis, to the
problem of human relationships, the relation of one individual to
another and to the group, and that of groups inter se. The group may
be the family, a circle of friends, neighbours, city folk, nation and
ultimately it becomes the international group, the world. Harmonious
living in its smallest as well as its largest aspects is the ideal. In order to
achieve it we evolve our political, economic, social formulae and isms,
and even struggle with each other. But no formula or ism can take the
place of the essence of harmonious living, which is a matter of judgment
and balance, of tact and sensitiveness, of continuous adjustment and a
consideration of others. If we succeed in this to some extent we gam
poise and equilibrium even in a mad world.

Another way of putting the essential problem is how to strike a
balance between the claims of the individual and of the larger social
group — ^between individualism and some kind of communism. (I am
not using the word in its usual and technical sense.) To suppress the
individual is bad and stops growth, to allow individualism full play is
to have anarchy.

Society in ancient China and ancient India tended to concentrate
on a small group — the family. It did not encourage, at either end, the
individual or the national group. It evolved, as nowhere else, the family
system in a wide sense. It lost much thereby, but it managed to develop
certain very desirable virtues also. There were far fewer self-centred
individuals; there was a capacity for cooperation within the group, for
adjustment, judgment, tact, poise, balance. One sees that still in China

* PRISON WALLS •

401

in spite of all that has happened. There is a real anstocracy and well-
bredness about the Chinese which is impressive. I am afraid we in
India do not show this, for we have undergone a long process of
breaking up. Yet somewhere, I suppose, beneath the surface, that
training of thousands of years must subsist.

In the West individuahsm was emphasised much more, ivith certain
remarkable results in the shape of progress. It went too far and is now
leading more and more to an inevitable socialism and communism.
With all their manifest virtues, it is surprising how Westerners
(individuals apart) lack poise and balance.

I suppose the East & the West, having explored life in different
directions, are unconsciously or consciously going to pool their
resources some time or other, and find a common path of harmonious
living.

I fear I can do nothing m family affairs or other matters while I am
here, cut off from contact and activity. Each one of you will have to
shift for yourself as best you can. For my part, where family affairs are
concerned, my mind inevitably goes back to my father — Dadu — and
I try to think what he would have preferred. Apart from my affection
for him and my regard for his memory, I owe too much to him ever to
forget his wishes.

I do not know if all this rigmarole will interest you. My mind is
full of what I read in your letter yesterday and I wanted to share a part
of It with you. I shall write to Puphi in the course of the next few
days.

You say that you keep my room closed. Shall I tell you how I
reacted to a somewhat similar situation when you were in Switzerland
and England? Often I was quite alone in the house, for Puphi in
those days was in Lucknow. I kept the door between your room and
mine wide open. Every morning I visited your room and every night
I went there to bid it goodnight. I wanted the room to look bright
and airy and cheerful, almost as if you were hving there and had just
gone out and might come back at any moment. Sometimes I had
flowers placed there.

I give below two verses by Hali:

Jt. '€ (Sy^ J Jj-

«i- ^ ij*f Ol>- JY

^ jk *i llL. Oljji

(J^) «i. Y yS' ^ ^ jyt

402

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

In Hindi:

^ ^ t (chtlttil t I

4)rt 3Tr%'3Rn xfTH II

4feT-TT-^ ^ ^ ^ %4T I

t, ^ t II ^

^ is the name of a well-known tree in Persia; is the name of a
bird; <d«il = autunm; "^44 = garden; 'nfel-TT-^ = the rolling heaven =
fate.

The three names in the last line are of places in Central Asia. They
often occur in Urdu & Persian writing.

My love to you, my dear — ^keep cheerful and fit.

Your loving,
Papu

337

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
[21st October, 1943]

Darhng Papu,

I wonder if Puphi has written to you. She said she would. She left for
Calcutta on the 17th and the next day, Pdta and Anna moved into
their new house, taking with them Rita’s cocker spaniel. Punch, but
leaving behind poor httle Breezy, who was desolate. Fortunately she
is quite happy now. In a way it is a good thing that she was not taken
for Rita was so obviously partial to Punch that Breezy went about
often with a hurt look in her eye. Breezy and I were both feeling
rotten and very lonely, when luckily and quite unexpectedly Feroze
turned up — back from Cawnpore. Since then we have both been

1. Hali:Who has the right on this garden?

Both, the cypress tree and the ringed dove, do contend;
Whose is It?

The autumn will soon pronounce on them!

Time and again

The ceaseless round of heavens has shown
Who is to hold Marv

And who to hold Badakhshan and Tartary!

• PRISON WALLS •

403

very domesticated and busy. I have been clearing up godowns and
taking stock of linen, etc. And it is by no means over yet. I want
everything spick and span and ready to use. So that when you, or a
dozen guests come there will be no last-minute rushing! Feroze has
been spending all his time in the garden — flowers as well as vegetables.

Your room is aired and cleaned every day. Hari had cluttered up
your dressing room with some of my belongings. But I am having it
cleared. A great problem is the accumulation of books. At the moment
they have overflowed from the bookcases on to the floor.

The winter birds are coming in. I saw a redstart yesterday. Rather
an amusing litde fellow, the way he shivers his tail all the time. His call
is exactly like the squeak of an unoiled bicycle wheel. There is even
a slight pause between one squeak and the next, just enough for one
revolution of the wheel! This morning a blue jay caught a baby mouse
and sat and devoured it on our porch!

Lots of love,
Indu

338

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
23rd October, 1943

Darling Indu,

Last week^ I gave you my reactions about the proposal that Puphi
should move into a new house. A few days later I wrote in more or
less the same vein to Puphi. Having done so, my job is over and I do
not worry any longer over it. Nor should you.

I wonder if you could find and send me my little foot-rug which
I had in Dehra Dun and used for spinning and some exercises —
asanas? I used to have a coir-mattress in my room here but bugs —
khatiual — took possession of it and multiphed exceedingly and so I
discarded it. Without some kind of soft material to lie on it is difficult
to do some of the asans. Hence the need for the foot-rug.

So you are spinning. It is dreary work to begin with but as soon as
one gets into the swing of it, there is a fascination about it. I am
spinning more or less daily for about half an hour. This is not much
and hence I am not producing much yarn, though I spin fairly fast.

1 Refers to letter dated 16 October 1943 (No 336).

404

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Since I began, seven weeks ago, I have spun about 11,000 yards of 25-
30 count yarn.^ I am told that about 30,000 yards are required for a
sari. In another four months I might have enough for a sari for you!

What happened to the yarn I spun in Dehra? I gave it to Psyche
and a small piece of it came for you last year at the time of your
wedding. But I had given enough yarn, I think, for four saris or their
equivalent.

When you were at Panchgani I suggested to you to glance through
Sylvain Levi’s Le Thecitre Indien which I was returning to Psyche. I
have now been reading a more recent book on the subject: Keith’s
The Sanskrit Drama. It gives much more information and recent
discoveries but it is minus the poetic lilt of Sylvain Levi. Why are
scholars’ books dull?

I am fascinated by the old theatre of Greece and India, the only
two countries which had it. China had something but it was not, as far
as I know, developed. The art of the theatre tells us more about a
culture and civilisation than most other things. It makes the past live
and we can see and understand it in terms of human beings. Greece
& India in this respect offer us very different pictures of the theatre.
There is a majesty about the Greek drama, a power which grips. On
the other hand the Indian drama is, curiously enough, a little more
akin to our modern conceptions (the analogy should not be taken
far). The language is majestic enough sometimes, and frequently it
has an entrancing lyrical beauty. But, above all, there is a human-ness
about this Sanskrit-Prakrit drama which is pleasing.

Do you know an interesting fact? The earliest known Sanskrit play
(by Ashvaghosa) was discovered at Turfan on the edge of the Gobi
desert! Some other early plays were discovered in Tibet. Turfan has
long fascinated me as a place where several great cultures intermingled,
far away, right on the edge of a great desert. I wrote something about
it in Glimpses.

Old Ashvaghosa^ was a Buddhist propagandist. He was a resident
of Ayodhya probably (round about the beginning of the Christian
era). His mother’s name was Suvaranakshi — rather sweet. It means
‘the golden-eyed’.

Two more Urdu couplets but, tell me, do you want them? The
first is by Akbar of Allahabad. It is a good definition, if the word may

1. Refers to the thickness of the yam spun.

2. Ashvaghosa was a poet and philosopher at the court of Kanishka.

• PRISON WALLS •

405

be used, of the conception of God or the supernatural.

liT Jjsjl Jii

( ) I ^Sy cri b*

In Hindi:

^ ^ srcn I, ^ ^ ^Ttcrr

nipJJT |3TT, TO, ■qFTOt ^ t ' '

try tr* *5*'^ uif «y

^ ^ «♦. ^U- «J *J

anfro ;

cR ^ ^ ■fcJTOT

TO TO TOTI I %1toTO 4^ 3F2T — ^

toW = Nakedness.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

3 39

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
30th October, 1943

Darling Indu,

A few days ago I received the typescript of Pupha’s translation of
Kalidasa’s Ritusamhara — I liked it. Somehow this put me in mind of
my own MS which I wrote in Dehra and left unfimshed. This was, in
a ^vay, a continuation of my Autobiogiaphy. It is completely out of date
now and of little use. There are some chapters in it, however, which
interest me from a different point of view.They form a group containing

1 Akbar AUahabadcTo our hearts Thou dost come,
Beyond our reach Thou remamst;

Thus alone Thou dost manifest Thyself

2 Atish' No dress in the world is good
As naked^ajuty js,

A gTrijicfir^Kis;

Noywtbn'g-side whicln'e’er shows!

r r V.

406

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

a rapid review of Indian culture, etc. One of them is called ‘The
Discovery of India’. Because of these chapters I should like to have
this MS, or rather typescript, if that is possible.

You will find this in the steel cupboard in my dressing room — the
one nearer the bathroom.

Love to you & Feroze.

Your loving,
Papu

340

Anand Bhatmi,
Allahabad,
5th November, 1943

Darling Papu,

Your foot-rug has been found. I am sending it along widi a pair of
chopsticks.

If you remember, my wedding blouse and handkerchief were made
of your yarn. Some of it has gone into the making of a sari which
Psyche wants to present to Madame Chiang. Handkerchiefs have also
been made out of it.

For many nights before Ditvali, I would wake around five in the
morning with a feeling that there was a light on my face, and open
my eyes straight on to one of the biggest stars I have ever seen. It
didn’t twinkle so I guessed it was a planet, but I didn’t know which. I
used to he looking at it and wondering if you could see it too. And
then I would say good morning to it, hoping that the message would
be passed on to you. The planet was so big and bright that on at least
two nights the pillars and trees cast shadows that must have been due
to its light — for there was no moon.

My furniture has been stored for so long, Feroze said it would get
spoilt if we did not use it for a short while. So we have rearranged the
dining room. I have taken down all the old pictures and put up all the
Roerich ones and a flag. The room is really looking lovely.

Much love to you, Papu darling.
Your loving.

Indu

• PRISON WALLS •

407

341

Ahmadmgar Fort Prison,
6th November, 1943

Indu darling,

This letter wiU reach you probably a little before your birthday; my
next will be too late for it. So this must carry an extra load of love and
good wishes for you. You have turned the quarter of a century — how
imposing it sounds! So, my love to you, cara iiiio, and may the difficulties
and the distresses that surround us strengthen you in mind and body,
and not abate the capacity to live wholesomely and beautifully and to
take joy fi'om the beauty and goodness of life, in spite of the ugliness
and ills that lie around us . . .

I am very glad you have taken Anand Bhawan in hand and are
rejuvenating it.

Puphi writes to me that already you have made a great difference
to Anand Bhawan. T wish you could see what Indu has done to the
house. It has become alive and beautifiil.’

What about fixing up one room as a kind of ‘China room’? We
have plenty of odds and ends from China lying about unused or
wrongly used.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

342

Ahmadmgar Fort Prison,
13th November, 1943

Darling Indu,

There has been a gap in your letters and I have not had any for just a
fortnight today. I hope this simply means that you are busy renovating
and putting new life into Anand Bhawan.

Why do you not invite some of your fidends to pay you visits and
stay in Anand Bhawan for a few days or weeks at a time? This habit of
people visiting each other — outside the family circle and except for
so-called festive occasions — is not common in India. It should be
encouraged. I am sure your friends will enjoy their visits and you wiU
have agreeable company. You have plenty of friends m Bombay,
Lahore, Delhi and elsewhere. You have not met them for a long time.

408

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

A little hospitality shown to them and a few days’ pleasant
companionship will be welcomed. Ismet^ for instance — Kupton’s
wife — whose guests we have been often enough.

I am anxious about Raja — ^Betty writes that he has been having
repeated and very painful attacks of asthma and has lost 22 pounds in
weight. He was frightfully lanky and thin to begin with. What he
must look now, I find it difficult to imagine.

Love,
Your loving
Papu

343

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
14th November, 1943

My darling one.

Thank you for your letter^ which came on your birthday. Thank you
for your good wishes and your love, which is to me the most beautiful
and precious thing in the world. So do not bother about presents and
the like.

Hari turned up exceptionally early this morning. He and Klialiq
stood in the doorway of my room grinning broadly. For a moment I
could not think what the matter was — then suddenly producing two
bouquets and a goldy garland from behind their backs: mubarak ho!
The garland has been draped over and the flowers are around your
picture which is on my writing-table. So you will know that we are
all thinking of you today and every day.

Darling, I am not changing anything in the house until you are
here to give your approval.

I am, however, full of ideas of some changes I should like to make.
But these must wait until you come and when the times are less
troubled. Psyche suggested when she was here that our drawing room
should be completely Indian — I do agree with her. It was then I
thought of the ‘China’ room — so we must be telepathic, you and I.

Much love,
Indu

1 . Wife of Mian Iftikliaraddin, in whose house Nehru stayed in Lahore.

2. Refers to letter dated 6 November 1943 (No. 341).

• PRISON WALLS •

409

344

Ahmadmgar Fort Prison,
20tb November, i943

Darling Indu,

Your letters No. 35 and 36' have reached me. Also some books,
periodicals, foot-rug and the chopsticks, unbroken. Thank you.

There is never any hurry for the books or other articles I mention
to you. We do not live in a world of hurry here. Time moves slowly
and at a dead level without ups and downs. I mention to you odd
things as the whim seizes me, not requiring them urgently or, indeed,
at all, but just for variety’s sake.

Betty has sent some books and some pictures by Amrita Shergil^
which Kitabistan have issued on behalf of the Allahabad Roerich
Centre. I like some of these pictures. Even more so they remind me
of Amrita — did you ever meet her? I saw her only half a dozen times,
usually at intervals of a year, but I grew to like her very much. She was
unusual and was obviously very gifted. She wanted to do a sketch of
me but this never came off. Just before my arrest in October 1940 I
happened to be in Gorakhpur (it was for that speech in Gorakhpur
that 1 was arrested and sentenced to four years). I was very busy but I
managed to fit in a hurried visit to a sugar factory about eighteen
miles from the town. Amrita was living with her people then and I
went especially to see her. I was there for only a few minutes and
then she motored back with me to Gorakhpur, A strange change had
come over her since her return from France four years earlier. She
was so full of confidence, so vital and self-possessed then; life was a
straight and easy job except for those who were afraid. This self-
assurance was no longer in evidence and life did not appear quite so
simple or straight. She was quiet. Artistically, that is, in relation to her
art, she was also changing. From painting typical French salon pictures
she was drifting to India in many ways. I asked her to come for a few
days to Allahabad and she promised to do so ... I was arrested. The
day after my release fi-om Dehra Dun I heard on the radio that she
had suddenly died. There was some mystery about it. Her poor mother
went wild with grief; indeed she became quite demented and made

1. Refers to letter dated 5 November 1943 (No 340); other letter not published.

2. Amnta Shergil (1913-1941). Indian painter.

410

• iwo AioNr.TWo loc.iTnnn •

extraordinary charges against some people.

I had quite a shock. She was not the kind of person one meets
often It was very sad that one so gifted should die in early youth.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

345

Auand Bimim,
Allahabad,
22iid November, 1943

Darling Papu,

I have just come in from the garden. A couple of months ago it was
one mass of entangled weeds. And now — the hedges trimmed, lawn
mowed, flowerbeds so neat with their tiny seedlings. I know nothing
whatsoever about gardens, so I was just about giving up in de.spair
when Feroze took over. He has done a good job of it too — that’s one
thing about Feroze, whatever he undertakes he does thoroughly. I
found that he has the necessary informarion too and that is what made
all the dilTercnce in Datadin’s work. From the portico to the gate on
the right hand side (facing the gate) we have antirrhinum and tuberose;
on the other side, there are asters, verbena, calendula, petunia, phlox,
candy tuft, nasturtium, pink, and larkspur. Bordering the road from
the gate to about halfasaiy up the drive there are more dahlias and
from there right up to the kitchen we have sweet peas. The garden
will be lovely when all the flowers are blooming. Our vegetable plot
is being looked after even more carefully than the flowers and is just
as attractive to look at. We have got cauliflowers, beans, brinjal, tomato,
spinach and radishes. These we are eating every day. Nothing from
the bazaar could possibly be so tender and fresh and good to eat. Not
yet edible are the French beans, peas, cabbages, turnips, lettuce, celery,
pansley and mint. So far everything, including the potatoes and the
wheat, is doing well. Our chief headache is the porcupine. They come
in hordes to destroy our best cauliflowers and odier things too. The
squirrels nibble at the peas and the rabbits nibble at anything green!
This evening I am off to Jaipur at last. I propose spending a week
with Masi. I am taking Khaliq with me. Feroze is staying on here.

Much love,
Indu

• PRISON WALLS •

4II

346

Ahinadimgar Fort Prison,
27th November, 1943

Darling,

Betty has sent me two books, one on your behalf and the other on
Psyche’s, as birthday gifts. Your gift — ^Havell’s’ Ideals of Indian Art —
was particularly appropriate as I have long wanted to read it. Psyche’s
present is a fat 800-page book by the Beards ofAmerica — TheAmeiican
Ijcviathan — a very leviathan of a book!

Three countries interest me greatly at present, apart from my own.
These are the U.S.A., the U.S.S.R. & China. Each of these attracts me
for some different reason, for they are so different from each other.
Yet essentially I think of them as countries with a big future . . .
Somehow Europe does not attract me so much now, There is a lack of
vitality, of freshness about it ... I want fresh fields, fresh avenues of
thought, fresh reactions. I do not get these in Europe or from Europe
now. But I do get them from America, Russia & China, though China
IS different of course. China is continually reminding me of India but
in a curious way, a looking-glass way, where things are the same in
many ways and yet different. China often helps me to understand
India more, both appreciatively and critically. Somehow I cannot rid
myself of the thought that we shall have a great deal to do with these
three countries in the future — ^America, Russia & China.

I notice that Edward Thompson has come out with a new book:
The Making of the Indian Princes. Normally he would have sent this on
to me. Anyway please note the name and get it when you can.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

1. E.B Havell (1861— 1934); a former principal of the Government School of Art and
Keeper of the Art G.iller^' Calcutta; author o( Indian Sculpture and Painting, Benares the
Saacd City and many other books

412

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

347

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
4th December, t943

Darling Indu,

So you have gone to Jaipur. I wonder if you will visit Amber, the old
fortress some miles out of Jaipur. Few places have reminded me so
vividly of medieval times, of knights in armour, and chivalry and the
Rajput of old legend as Amber did when I visited it many years ago.

Your account of the progress that the garden has made is quite
exciting. Obviously this is your and Feroze’s doing. A beautiful garden
looks far lovelier if personal labour has gone into its making. Does
not that apply to most things?

Betty has sent me, as a birthday present, an ivory Nataraja, probably
made in Travancore. It is a fine piece of work and, rather miraculously,
it has reached me unbroken. I like it but it is not particularly suited to
prison life. Delicate works of art do not fit in here.

As is my uncontrollable habit, I am giving a list of books below.
This has been made out of reviews and catalogues and most of them,
I am sure, are unobtainable here. Still you might note them down,
and if you come across any of them later on, get it.

1 . Viscount Wavell

2. —Do— :

3. Stefan Zweig :

4. Ilya Ehrenburg

5. H.G. Wells :

6. Lionel Fielden :

7. Lin Yu-tang :

8. L.H. Ajwani :

9. Dr Quaritch Wales :

10. Reginald Reynolds:

11. Edith Sitwell ;

12. Kate Mitchell

13. J.H. Breasted

Alknby.A Study in Greatness

Allenby in Egypt

The World of Yesterday

Russia at War

You Can’t be Too Careful

Beggar my Neighbour (Seeker & Warburg,

3sh. 6d.)

The Wisdom of China and India
Immortal India (Educational Publishing
Co., Karachi)

Towards Angkor (Harrap, 1933)

Cleanliness & Godliness (AUen &

Unwin, 12sh. 6d.)

A Poet’s Note Book (Macmillan, lOsh.
6d.)

ludia (Bodley Head)

The Dawn of Conscience (New York)

• PRISON WALLS •

413

14. Thomas Ryan : Men in Chains (Peter Davies, London,

8sh. 6d.)

Love to you and Feroze.

Your loving,
Papu

548

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
8th December, 1943

Darling Papu,

This tvas my first visit to Jaipur. In terms of history, Jaipur is quite
young and yet it gives a greater impression of antiquity and a clinging
to things past than many of our ancient cities, such as Prayag. I liked
the wide swinging skirts of the women and the colourful turbans of
the men. Englishmen and Anglo-Indians were conspicuous by their
absence. Not so their influence, which was in evidence in a hundred
little ways; society folk wearing suits. Picturesque streetnames, such
as Chaura Rasta, side by side with Sir So-and-so road. Grotesque angels
m the midst of an exquisite carving of Rajput dancers. Magnificent
old trees being cut down, ancient gardens dug up to make ‘modern
parks’. The printing of Sanganer and marble carving dying out for
want of appreciation.

My visit was too short to fit in everything, but I saw some beautiful
old Jain temples. And in the City Palace a remarkable collection of
Rajput and Moghul painting. In this same collection was a Persian
translation of the Mahabharata done, they say, in the reign of Akbar.

Jaipur is also the city of Mummie’s ancestors. There is still the
ancient house of Morilal Atal^ in the Chama Rasta — and numerous
other relatives are scattered about the town.

Masi’s^ eldest son — ^Naresh — is a bright lad. He is not twelve yet.
Drives beautifully. Can take a radio or a car engine apart and, what is
more, fix it up again.

Much love from your loving,
Indu

1 Moulal Atal: great-grandfather of Kamala Nehru He was Prime Minister ofjaipur.
2. Refers to Swarup Kathju, younger sister of Kamala Nehru.

414

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

349

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
llth December, 1943

Darling Indu,

I received the books sent by Edward Thompson. There are three of
them:

1 . New Recessional & Other Poems

2. The Life of Charles Lord Metcalfe

3. The Making of the Indian Princes

I want you to write to Edward Thompson and tell him that I have
received these three books. No gift that I could have had here could
be more welcome, nor could I have wished for a better inscription
than what he has written in the book on the Indian Princes. I often
think of him and of the bond of friendship that ties us. Such bonds
have helped me greatly to keep sane and sober, and not to allow
‘black thinking’, as they call it very appropriately in the language of
prison, to find a home in my mind.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

350

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
18th December, 1943

Darling Indu,

I was interested to learn of your impressions of Jaipur. Those
impressions of old India would have been confirmed and emphasised
if you had gone to Udaipur which is still, I believe, a relic of feudal
times Rajputana has an old-world atmosphere which clings to it and
surprises a newcomer from outside. In spite of its misery, poverty and
backwardness, there is a charm of history and tradition, of chivalry
and blind courage, and one’s mind inevitably travels back to those
tales of long ago of brave men and beautiful women who cared for
honour and self-respect more than for life or anything else. There
also you find the remains of old artistry, and leisurely craftsmanship,

• PRISON WALLS •

415

alas dying now and almost dead.

How I regret that I did not explore these parts of India and many
others when I had the chance and could do so unobserved and m
peace. It fills me with rage that I should have spent so much of my
time in places like Mussoone and Nainital and Simla, when all this
loveliness and charm were there to visit, to see and enjoy, and learn
firom.

But though I could not go myself to many places, and even when
I went, I rushed through, surrounded by crowds, my mind became
more and more absorbed with this mystery of India in her manifold
aspects. I tried to fathom this, to have glimpses behind the surface, to
understand what this country of ours had been and was now.

Love to you and Feroze.

Your loving,
Papu

351

Ahmadna^ar Fort PrisoHj
31st December, 1943

Darling Indu,

So 1943 goes into history and becomes a memory, a spot in the long
record of things remembered and forgotten. Is it Time that passes us,
or rather is it we that pass and call our passing Time? As when we
travel in a railway train and city and town and village appear in ordered
sequence and pass us by, giving us the impression that they exist one
after the other. Daily and hourly we change and each new aspect of
ourselves is just a wee bit different firom the last. So dead and past
selves pile up behind us but the new self, itself a tiling of the moment,
ever changing, carries the impress of aU these past selves upon it, past
experiences and thoughts and trails, dreams and reveries, and the
hard knocks of existence. Looking back, one sees this long and
interminable succession of past selves, fading into each other like
ghosts of things that were and are no more.

Do you know that our ancestors of long, long ago had, unlike
most people, a very powerful idea of Time? The ancient Greeks had
no word for more than a myriad or ten thousand, the Romans stopped
at the mille or thousand, and the Arabs also had no word beyond a
thousand. But the old Indians had a definite notation, in a scale of

416

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

ten, with names for numbers which went up to prodigious figures —
over fifty zeros added to i. They thought of time in terms of millions
and billions of years and at the same time their smallest unit of time
was l/17th of a second. But their most wonderful discovery, two
thousand years ago, was that of zero. Every child knows this now but
to evolve this zero idea for the first time must have been the work of
a mighty genius. It has been called one of the great world discoveries
of all time. On that is based aU our modern arithmetic and algebra
and so much else. Shunya (nothing) zero is called in Sanskrit and
from that has come the Hindi Siiniia.

Now zero is a very odd thing. If you divide anything by it, the
result takes you to conceptions which are not easy to grasp — it is
infinity. The old Sanskrit commentators, at a loss for a more homely
comparison, compared this result to one of the attributes of God! . . .

I wrote to you again to arrange to give out of my account some
financial help for Bengal relief. I suggested that you should get Rs.
1000/- (one thousand) from Bachhraj for the purpose. This to begin
with.

Later, I should like to give some more money.

Personally I would prefer it to go to the ‘Save the Children Fund’
started by the Women’s Conference, for that is a definite object which
goes beyond just feeding the starving. The idea of concentrating more
on the children appeals to me.

So on to the New Year and all good luck to you.

My love.
Your loving,
Papu

352

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
New Year’s Day, 1944

Darling Papu,

Poor Pupha is very ill indeed & this last week he has become very
weak and has great difficulty in breathing. He has been asking for
Rita — so Puphi rang up to say that Rita & Anna should proceed to
Lucknow as soon as possible, as Rita’s presence would at least set

• PRISON WALLS •

417

Puphi’s mind at peace. Feroze and I are also going to Lucknow
tomorrow night.

Much love,
Indu

353

Lucknow,
3rd January, 1944

Darling Papu,

In spite of all I had been told, I was shocked to see Pupha so weak. I
saw him only for a moment when oxygen was being administered to
him. He is given oxygen every few hours. He vras sitting bolt upright,
propped up by innumerable pillows and cushions. Puphi tells me
that is his normal position night and day for over a week now. There
was plenty of fluid present in the lung — or wherever it is — ^but it
seemed to have collected in various ‘pockets’ and could not be tapped.

Pratapji & Saraswati Bai have arrived. I believe Chhoti Puphi and
Rajabhai are also thinking of coming.

I have not brought clothes for more than a couple of days so I
shall probably return to Allahabad in a day or two, and then come
back to Lucknow.

Much love,
Indu

354

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
18th January, 1944

Darling Indu,

I did not write to you last week. Instead, I wrote to Puphi. On Friday,
January 14, I was informed that Pupha had died that morning in
Lucknow. '

During the last week I have received more letters than usual — two
from Puphi, three from you. All of them mention some slight progress
in Pupha’s condition, give hope of recovery. Some of diem have come
afier the news of his death.

1 Ranjit Pandit died on 14 January 1944

4I8 • TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Deaths in the family break the routine of existence and upset not
only our minds but our ways of Hving. Gradually we adjust ourselves
to the new scheme. There has been litde of routine in all our lives, no
settling down, and we have long been travellers in an unknown country,
not knowing where our next temporary halt might be. So for us the
process of adjustment is perhaps less difficult than for those who live
more normal lives.

I might be somewhat irregular in my letters to you for a week or
two — I intend writing to Chand and Tara’ at the next opportunity.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

355

Anatid Bhawati,
Allahabad,
19th January, 1944

Darling Papu,

My heart aches for you. So far and with no work into which to immerse
your sorrow. But what can one say — what consolation can one give? I
have been in such a daze these last days. Life itself seems to be so
pointless sometimes. From the minute we are born, -with that first
effort for breath, begins a Hfetime of struggle. The years and years
through infancy, childhood, manhood and old age are full of struggle,
for something or the other, for health, for fame, for fortune. And then
suddenly as if somebody had blown off a candle, pouffl it’s all finished.
The individual with his likes and dislikes, his opinions and
prejudices — in fact everything that makes him what he is, is no more,
is just a ‘body’. Dust thou art and to dust return. And when you have
lost life itself, is it any consolation that you are remembered and
mourned, that you have left a big or a small mark on the world and its
affairs?

I am glad I went to Lucknow and had a last glimpse of Pupha. He
was so weak but he smiled his characteristic smile and I couldn’t
imagine that he would not get well. And when the news actually

1. Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit’s two elder daughters were studying at Wellesley College in
America.

• PRISON WALLS •

419

came I kept on repeating to myself. ‘It’s all a ghastly mistake, Feroze
must have misunderstood Puphi on the phone.’

Puphi and Rita are both bearing up wonderfully.

My thoughts are with you constantly.

All my love to you,
Indu

356

Anand Bhawan,
Allahabad,
23rd January, J944

My darling one,

Your letter to Puphi arrived yesterday. Beautiful it was — but so
unbearably, heartbreakmgly sad. I read it so quickly and yet the
sentences have got burned into my brain, or so it seems, for all night
through I tossed and turned and always they were in front of me. And
your voice in my ears. You have had, just as India herself has had,
more than your share of grief and sorrow. It is India’s greatness as it is
your own that through it all you have remained stricken but undaunted.
Perhaps it is that the Providence that fashions us humans as we are,
knows what burdens we shall have to carry and accordingly endows
some with broader shoulders and stronger characters, bigger hearts
and greater endurance.

And meanwhile whatever we may feel, each absorbed in his own
personal sorrow — not only our family but the millions of other Indians
who are suffering untold miseries — the world goes on as it has been
for thousands of years. In the hospital next door babies are being
born — right here in our own compound the garden is brighter and
more beautiful than ever before.

Much love to you,
Indu

420

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

357

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
1st February, 1944

Indu darling,

Two of your letters, dated Jan. 19 and 23,^ came to me together soon
after I had sent you my last letter. They were full of the burden of
sorrow and an emotional upheaval at the suddenness of death and all
the questionings that this experience gives rise to. Out of this eternal
questioning has arisen philosophy with all its problems, and
throughout the ages innumerable people have wondered over this
mystery of life and death. Philosophy has come to you early not only
because of personal shock but also the larger tragedies that surround
us. It depends on each one of us how we face these questions, how
[we] react to them. We weaken under the stress and lose our sense of
poise and equilibrium, or grow stronger and more capable of riding
the storm and yet being not too much affected by it.

Reason and argument go some way to shape our minds and direct
our activities. Yet in the final analysis we act because of that inner urge
within us, which has been formed and conditioned by so many factors
which have gone to our making — our own experiences chiefly, piling
up one on top of the other firom birth and childhood onwards, the
influence of others, our heredity and our racial and cultural inheritance,
our education, the sensations we have known and experienced.

So our reactions to events vary. Some, and among them have been
wise men, think all this business of life a thing of sound and fury
signifying nothing. Others have discovered or felt a meaning in it all.
Yet others, uncertain whether there is any meaning or not, still are
compelled by some force within them to adopt objectives and codes
of behaviour and follow them with all their might. Perhaps that itself
signifies some deep intuitive faith in a meaning. However that may
be, most of us affirm life and it is right that we should do so positively,
rather than just carry on negatively.

Twenty-five hundred years ago the Buddha addressing his followers
said: ‘. . . while ye, O disciples, experienced this sorrow through long
ages, more tears have flowed fiom you and have been shed by you,
while ye strayed and wandered on this pilgrimage of Hfe, and sorrowed

1. Refers to letters dated 19 and 23 January 1944 (Nos. 355 and 356).

• PRISON WALLS •

421

and wept, because that was your portion which ye abhorred, and that
which ye loved was not your portion, than all the waters which are in
the four great oceans.’

A sad thought and though a true one, yet perhaps with an
overemphasis on the pain and suffering of life, Buddha was frequently
emphasising this and many people therefore call Buddhism a religion
of pessirmsm. Yet the face of Buddha in the statues that his faithful
followers have made with loving care, and even more so in the image
of him that I have in my mind, is so devoid of pain and sorrow, so full
of peace and calm and compassion, that I cannot connect it with
suffering. Or does it represent the conquest over sorrow? I do not
think of him as a man of sorrows.

And then, going to the lands where Buddhism stiU flourishes, we
do not find the people pessimistic at all. Where could there be more
of the joy and affirmation of life than in the Chinese people? Is that a
racial characteristic, I wonder, which has overcome and transmuted
the pessimistic tendencies of the faith, or is it something else? I do not
know. But I do know that I am seldom depressed for long by events,
however painful they might be for the moment, and a certain
unreasoning faith in life rises up in me and keeps me going. I cannot
argue about it but it fills me and therefore fife is an affirmation to me
and not a negation.

What a letter I am writing! A vague and possibly unmeaning attempt
at philosophy in its relation to life, or perhaps just a glimpse of that
restless and wandering creature, my mind. I have written as I have
done because I want you to have such ghmpses and to realise, as I do,
the extraordinary fascination of life’s adventure. That pilgrimage would
be no adventure if it lay in the ruts of normal experience and cautious
conduct, safety first in everything, like the slow-moving river on an
almost level plain. The body has its adventures and experiences, and
many are worth having, but the real adventures are of the mind. Indeed,
all feelings and experiences are ultimately of the mind, and the mind
itself IS part of the body.

There is the adventure of the individual, the adventure of the race,
and finally the world adventure — and all tend to get mixed up
together — and we can be parties to all these adventures. If the
individual’s adventure has an ending, the others continue and carry
us to an endless future. Our country, tragic as she may appear to us at
the present moment, has been carrying on her story and her quest
since the dawn of history many thousands of years ago. That quest

422

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

will surely continue and merge itself in the conditions of the modern
world, into the world-quest for life and freedom and adventures of
the mind and spirit.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

358

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
8th February, 1944

Darling Indu,

It is two weeks now since I had your last letter.* I await news of you
and from you and want to be assured that you have got over the shock
of recent events and are keeping well.

Betty sent me some time ago Tod’s^ Aunals of Rajasthan — three
volumes. I had thought of the book over a year ago in connection
with your birthday. At that time it was not available. You were in Naini
then. So the book was meant for you and it will be sent to you later.
Meanwhile, I have been dipping into it and reading large chunks of
it. Many of the stories I know, having read them or heard them in my
childhood. Going back to them after this long interval, I found a new
fascination in them and for some days my mind has been filled with
these tales of Rajput chivalry and courage which mocked at death. In
most countries you will find similar stories of bygone days, and yet it
will be hard to beat these tales of Mewar and Rajasthan. We, living in
a more sophisticated age, grow cynical and reckless courage and
audacity, which cared not at all for the consequences, seem a little
foolish and belonging to the childhood of the race. Yet there is
something about sheer heroism and bodily courage which holds one
and thrills. Pride and honour and to keep the plighted word were the
Rajput virtues, and though something else of importance must be
added to them, they are stiU very much worthwhile and will remain
so. The Rajput has not often been noted for wisdom or intelligence,
much less for discretion, yet wisdom without spirit and intelligence

1. Refers to letter dated 23 January 1944 (No 356).

2. Col. Janied Tod: a British civil servant in India and a scholar. Author of Amah and
Antiquities of Rajasthan (1832).

• PRISON WALLS •

42 3

without daring are poor, weak companions, symbols of age and not
of vouth both in the individual and the nation. And the Rajputs
managed to preserve through a couple of thousand years or more
magnificent bodily types before whom the average person of today
in the East or the West seems puny and undistinguished. Tod is full of
stories of Rajput women coming out in moments of peril and with
sword and lance leading their troops into action. Also of course of
that terrible thing — the Johar.^

Today, or, to be perfectly accurate, early tomorrow morning, we
complete eighteen months since our arrest. How well I remember that
morning when 1 bade you goodbye and 1 was driven away as the dawn
was breaking. You were standing by the car and the last glimpse of
you 1 had was when the car took a turn and passed on into the unknown.

Altogether, I suppose — I have lost exact count — I have spent about
ciglit years in prison.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

359

Amnd Bhawan,
Allahabad,
18th February, 1944

Darling Papu,

Is it days or weeks or months since I have last written to you? I don’t
know. I had lost all count of days and dates. I don’t really know what
came over me. Looking back on it, 1 can only analyse it as utter utter
weariness, so tired that my mind and my body refused to work, so
tired that I could not rest, could not sleep, could not eat. One didn’t
actually feel alive at all. Occasionally somebody would come and talk
but I seemed to be so far away. I just couldn’t grasp what they were
saying.The only thinking I could do was; God, how tired I am! It was
as if a terrible blackness or nothingness had stolen over me. I felt
almost like Eugene O’Neill’s Electra:^

1. A collective act of suicide through self-immolation by women of Rajput caste to
escape capture and dishonour after defeat by enemies.

2. Eugene O'Neill (1888— 1953): dramanst.The extract is from Motiniiiw Becomes Elcctra
(1931).

424

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

And day is night and night
Is day again, and I have had no pleasure
In sun or stars, for aU things were to me
As nothing.

And all this due to nothing more serious than sheer physical
exhaustion. Only once before have I had a more or less similar
experience — our last days in Prague just before I had my first pleurisy.

I am only telling you all this because now it is all over. I have
battled through the cloud and am again in the light and fresh air.

This exhaustion was due to several severe strains happening one
on top of the other. I am going to have a baby and then all the recent
unhappiness at a time when every nerve and emotion was taut to
breaking-point. Vatsala & Chhoti Puphi insist that I should go to
Purandare^ in Bombay, for the event, which by the way is due in
August or beginning Sept. Purandare says that I must be under his
direct supervision from the six month onwards. So the programme is
that I should go to Bombay as soon as it gets hot here ... I have sent
Feroze to Bombay to see what can be done.

Much love,
Indu

360

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
22nd February, 1944

Darling Indu,

It is just four weeks today from the day when your last letter^ came. A
long interval for one who waits, and I feel a little neglected. Yet I can
well understand the many reasons which may have come in the way
of your writing — activities, preoccupations, people coming and going,
and, above aU, the absence of the mood out of which a proper letter
grows.

What strange and mysterious things are words! The spoken word
is powerful enough but even more so is the written word, for it has
more of permanence. Image of thoughts and impulses, of the treasures

1. Dr N.A. Purandare: a well-known gynaecologist and obstetrician of Bombay.

2. Refers to letter dated 23 January 1944 (No. 356).

• PRISON WALLS •

425

of memory and stored fancies, the prelude and foundation of action,
an idol with clear outlines or shapeless, and yet full of the breath of
life! As with so many things to which we grow accustomed — the stars
in the heavens, and flowers and green grass, and mountains, and the
gentle rippling flow of water, murmuring as it goes — and growing
accustomed to them, our senses are dulled to their astonishing beauty,
so also with words. But when, in the morning of the world, words
and language first burst upon the mind of man, how great must have
been the joy of this discovery, with what reverence he must have looked
upon this mighty thing, coming to him out of the unknown! Inevitably,
he praised the gods he worshipped and called this new power of
expression the language of the gods. Carefully he treasured it in his
memory and handed it on from generation to generation, and out of
that arose the books he called sacred, the scriptures of various lands
and religions.

But words have become too common coin today, debased and
often counterfeit, fit emblems of many of the human beings who use
them.

Latterly I have been developing a mood for some kind of creative
writing work. There is an urge to put away books and to write oneself,
and there also is a hesitation in beginning. Between the two there is a
tussle and, almost as a neutral, I stand by and watch. I do not know
how things will shape themselves in my mind, and which feeling will
have the mastery.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

361

Ahtnadmgar Fort Prison,
29th February, 1944
Leap Year’s Day

Indu darling,

At last your letter' has come and the coming of it has been a relief to
me, for there are few greater burdens than the blackness of silence
and absence of news, which may contain in its dark folds all manner

1. Refers to letter dated 18 February 1944 (No. 359).

426

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

of Strange things. The news that it contained was disturbing and
soothing, an odd mixture of the two, and yet, in the balance, I felt
soothed and comforted. How you must have suffered in mind and
body during these weeks when an utter weariness and listlessness
seized hold of you and life’s rhythm seemed to be interrupted. To
some extent that is understandable in the circumstances, for a while at
least. And yet I wish you were not quite so sensitive, so vibrant to
external and internal stimuli, for this sensitiveness strains the nerves
and makes us feel taut and rigid. It drains energy and makes us feel
more exhausted than even action at its highest.

Some people are not sensitive at all; thick-skinned and dull of
mind and imagination, they go through life at a low level, accepting
what comes to them without much comment or enquiry, and adapting
themselves to changing circumstances. Who would change places with
them, even if that means an avoidance of the pain and sorrow which
seem to be so inseparably connected with life’s journey? And yet I
suppose there is a middle way: to be in tune -with life, to be sensitive
and receptive to what it offers in a thousand ways, to sense its sorrow
and its ecstacy, and not to be overwhelmed with either. Thus, perhaps,
we may attain a measure of equilibrium, and out of sorrow itself
extract peace and calmness of spirit, and so may achieve a certain
victory over ourselves and over circumstances, whose creatures we
otherwise are.

I am glad that you batded against the cloud that enveloped you
and fought your way to light and air. There can be no submission to
these mists and vapours of the mind, which rise up in all of us from
time to time, whenever they find an opening, for submission to them
is a denial and a suppression of the real spirit within us, and without
that we become like empty shells.

Your pregnancy explains to some extent these changes and feelings
in you, for it is a vital time in [a] woman’s life, and this mysterious
creation of a new life affects her mind and body in innumerable ways.
Because of this I do not worry myself much. This act of creation, full
of mystery as it is in human beings as in the simplest plant, is the
fulfilment in some ways of a woman’s being. She should be at her
best during that period, for then perhaps she is more in tune with
nature’s ways than at any other time.

I am glad you are going to have a baby. There is no reason at all
why you or anyone else should be frightened at the prospect. It is
true that your lack of robust health is a hindrance and special care is

• PRISON WALLS •

427

therefore necessary. But I have a feeling, and I have had it long before
I heard of this occurrence, that it might actually do you good, even
physically, to have a baby. In other ways also it should prove beneficial
to you. So accept this fact with pleasurable expectancy and without
any trace of fear or apprehension.

But it is right that no risks be taken and every possible care provided
for. I hope Feroze has succeeded in making suitable arrangements for
you in Bombay. Remember that you must not stint money in this
matter. Draw upon my account at Bachhraj’s unhesitatingly . . .

I have previously asked you to send me some books from the
Anand Bhawan Library. There are two of these I am mentioning again
here:

Thompson & Garratt’s Rise and Fulfilment of British Rule in India,
and The Ten Principal Upanishads, translations by W.B. Yeats & Puroliit
Swami. Both of them you will find in my room or dressing room.

I have sent you back some numbers of Life, etc. This packet also
contains Wendell Willkie’s One World. It is very well worth reading.
This concept of one world hanging together, all inter-linked, is still
quite diSicult enough for most people, in the East or the West, to
grasp, even though they may hold advanced ideas. Even when it is
pardy grasped intellectually, there is no emotional appreciation of it.
Yet I think that tliis is the basic idea of our present-day world and
unless we imbibe it, our other ideas are apt to be airy and without
reality.

Love to you and Feroze.

Your loving,
Papu

362

c/o Mrs Hntheesin^,
Cannichacl Road,
Bombay,
24th March, 1944

Darling one,

Puphi must have written to you about Lin Yu-tang. I liked him
immensely. He was rather like an Oxford don. That mild scholarly air,
quiet and fbndUng his pipe.

He was just as excited to be in Allahabad, or rather Anand Bhawan,

428

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

as we were to have him there. When he arrived — Feroze, Rita & I
had gone to receive him at the station — I introduced everybody but
Dr Lin looked rather blank. Just as we were going up the bridge he
suddenly stopped and asked, ‘Are you Indira?’ ‘Yes,’ I said. He grinned
broadly & held out his hand. ‘Now I know who you are,’ he said, and
we had to shake hands all over again!

The day Dr Lin arrived we had an Indian meal at Anand Bhawan —
not a great success as far as the food was concerned. For tea we all
trooped to the Saprus. Next day in the morning I showed Dr Lin the
Library and your room. He also went up to the roof, where we had
put the Chinese flag next to our own tricolour. Later I took him over
to the hospital for a few moments. Puphi came for lunch. In the
afternoon Dr Lin was taken to see Malaviyaji. And later was the tea-
party I had given ‘to meet’ Dr Lin. After dinner Feroze & I drove Dr
Lin to the Curzon bridge. By that time the Lady Moon was peeping
through the clouds and the river looked very lovely. Dr Lin enjoyed
the drive and the moonlight. Early next morning he left for Benares.
When we gave him the Hospital Visitors’ book, he thought it was the
Anand Bhawan book and he wrote something like this: ‘What a thrill
it is for me to sleep in the room in which Motilal Nehru slept, to see
the desk at which Jawaharlal Nehru works and to browse amongst his
remarkable collection of books.’ I didn’t like to tell him that he had
made a mistake, so for the hospital I gave him a separate sheet of
paper on which he wrote: ‘To the eternal spirit of the pure Lotus’,
and he made a sketch of a lotus. Rather beautiful, I thought.

Dr Lin was quite engrossed in his three daughters and terribly
thrilled that two of them — aged twenty and seventeen respectively —
had written a novel each. He kept on saying ‘Do you know anyone of
seventeen who has written a novel?’ I had to admit that I didn’t.

Much love,
Indu

363

Rugby Hotel,
Matlieran,
28th March, 1944

Darling Papu,

We came up here yesterday. Neral was where we had to change to the

• PRISON WALLS •

429

Matheran (Hill) Light Railway. This train is the funniest thing — just
like a toy. It goes at the rate of five miles an hour at its fastest. The
route is rather nice, green woods brightened by the lovely orange
blossoms of the flame of the forest and the deep red ones of the coral
tree. There were also silk cotton trees and champas. And all along the
route the tribes of children ran alongside the running train, offering
grubby bunches of these flowers in exchange for a pice or two.

Matheran^ is very very quiet. I think I am going to fike it. It is very
woody and full of shady but rather small trees. Just outside our rooms,
a white-whiskered bulbul has its nest. I spotted him almost as soon as
I arrived. He has a cheerful song. A grouchy old Englishman told
Rajabhai that there are all sorts of lovely birds here, including the
paradise flycatcher. I’m all excited to see him.

Rajabhai has brought his golden retriever. Spark, with him.

Do you remember the uiurti that was lodged in the peepul tree
in the Anand Bhawan compound but just opposite the Swaraj
Bhawan portico? I had never seen it but Puphi & Bebee remembered
having looked at it for years and years. This January, when Rajabhai
& Chhoti Puphi came to Allahabad, Rajabhai had the uiurti dug out
of the tree and brought it to Bombay. It now reposes on their
verandah bookcase.

Lots of love,
Indu

364

Rugby Hotel,
Matheran,
9th April, 1944

Darling Papu,

I have been reminiscing this evening. During my childhood I seemed
to be so much older than other children are at the same age. Harsha is
now nine and a half He is a complete baby and somehow one does
not expect him to be otherwise. And yet, I was under ten when I was
in Europe. I knew three languages and could roam around the town
of Geneva, or London. In boarding school in Bex we had to manage
ourselves, and much else besides, completely unaided. Did I not also

1. A small hill station near Bombay.

430

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

travel alone from Bex to Paris, where Dadu and all of you were staying
just before leaving for London? I’m not sure of this. What an age ago
it now seems! And what a strange thing is memory! Some things one
remembers for no particular reason, quite unimportant and
inconsequential events. Other seemingly more important and bigger
events go completely out of one’s mind.

Much love to you,
Indu

365

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
15th April, 1944

Darling Indu,

The last week has brought quite an unusual number of letters from
you.

In your childhood I suppose you were a little more self-reliant
than children of your age in India. The credit for that should at least
partly go to your parents. I remember when you started going to the
Ecole International in Geneva. You were about eight and a half years
old then. I accompanied you to school, came back, went again to
fetch you for lunch, again took you to school, came back, & finally
went at four to bring you back. I seemed to spend the whole day in
moving backwards & forwards between our pension and your school.
After a few days I decided to let you go by yourself. It was a slightly
tricky journey as it involved a change of trams. I spoke to the tram
conductor, who had come to recognise you and who promised to
look after you. I do not think Mummie was overpleased at this
arrangement. However it worked. The tram journey was really more
complicated than a railway journey. Later we moved to our flat in the
Boulevard des Tranches. From there you used to walk to your school,
which was about a quarter of a mile away.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

• PRISON WALLS •

431

366

c/o Mrs Htitheesing,
20 Camitchael Road,
Bombay,
18th April, 1944

Darling Papu,

We came down from Matheran a day earlier than we had meant to
do — that is, yesterday.

Apart from the heat and the journey there was the worry about
Bapu and the state of Bombay. We had got the very meagre news of
Bapus illness on the radio on Sunday night. Bombay’s explosions'
we heard and felt in Matheran. Only we did not know what it was. I
was lying in bed reading just before tea when our building shook
and all the windows rattled. I thought it was an earthquake and jotted
down the time nine minutes past four p.m. by my watch. This was
followed by distant rumbUng which was repeated several times. The
radio gave us news of the explosion. The next morning there was no
mail, no newspaper. I don’t think the censors will allow me to tell
you more about things than has appeared in the papers — so I shall
not attempt to do so. But the papers give very little inkling of the
amount of work this tragedy has necessitated (does such a word exist
or am I inventing it?). Great as is all the relief work of supplying
shelter and clothes, food and medicine, how much greater and more
difficult will be the problem of rehabihtating these thousands. Where
will they live and what will they do — they have lost their jobs and
many are from fairly well-off middle-class families. Very few will be
able to retrieve any belongings from the ruins of their houses, shops
or godowns.

Since early this morning I have been trying to get into touch with
people and organisations who are doing relief work. Finally I tracked
down Hansaben Mehta^ who is in charge of the Women’s
Conference’s relief work. I am meeting her this afternoon.

20th April

On the 18th I went to see the working of the A.I.W.C.’s [All India

1. A fire broke out in a ship in the Bombay harbour on 14 April 1944, and caused two
explosions in which 500 people were killed and 2000 injured.

2 Hansaben Mehta- social and pohncal worker; participated in the struggle for fi-eedom

432

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Women’s Conference] relief office and then went around with
Hansaben to one or two other places, ending up with Urmila Mehta
who is in charge of clothing. Naturally I offered my services for the
few days I shall be in Bombay, though it is not possible for me to do
any rushing about. I helped Urmilaben a little but apparently this
was enough to gain me a large volunteer’s badge!

On the 19th, next day, we had an appointment with Nagindas
Master, the Mayor, who took us with him on another tour of reHef
centres. Mridu was with us. I brought Mridu home with me after tliis
for a short while. At ten thirty I had to go again to help Urmilaben.

At night I went to my first entertainment for months & months. It
was a dance-drama ‘Kovalan’ got up by Mrinalini (now Mrs Vikram
Sarabhai)^ and Budi (Nandita Kripalani). Ira Valdl^ also took part. Do
you remember we met Mrinalini in Santiniketan on your last visit to
Gurudev? It was, of course, long before her marriage. The whole
Sarabhai clan came to Bombay for the first night. This South-Indian
drama was originally being done for Malabar relief but since the
Bombay tragedy, they decided to divide the proceeds between Bombay
and Malabar.

I quite Hked the show, perhaps more so because it is so long since
I have been to any kind of show. And then I knew most of the
performers and a large number of the audience. And it was good to
meet old friends. Mrinalini is just a little too thin to be really graceful.

Much love,
Indu

367

Mahabaleshwar,
7th May, 1944

Darling Papu,

This is a very brief note written in great haste. Yesterday’s paper came
late last night & gave us news of Bapu’s release.^ Mr Vakil, Feroze & I
are leaving in a few moments for Poona.

1. Mrinalini Sarabhai: well-known dancer, married to Vikram Sarabhai, an eminent
scientist and Chairman of the Atomic Energy Commission

2. Ira Vakil: daughter of the Vakils.

3. Mahatma Gandhi had been imprisoned in the Aga Khan Palace in Poona and was
released on 6 May 1944.

• PRISON WALLS •

433

This is just to send my love & to tell you that I am well.

Much love,
Indu

368

'Parmkuti’,
Poona,
8th May, 1944

Darling Papu,

1 dashed off a brief note' to you yesterday morning. Almost
immediately afterwards, we took the bus to Poona reaching here at
three thirty p.m. I found a whole crowd here — Chhoti Puphi &
Rajabhai vwth the two boys. Psyche, Bebee & Mrs Naidu, and a host
of others . . . Soon Puphi arrived from Allahabad. Quite like the old-
time gatherings — so, of course, we all missed you very much. Perhaps
most of all Bapu. He asked so many questions about you and sent his
love.

When I arrived he was sitting spinning and gave me a big grin
and the usual whack — only much much milder. He was looking very
pale and weak and tired. Contrary to doctors’ orders he saw quite a
lot of visitors and consequently felt very tired. I hope the doctors are
going to be stricter in future.

Sushila- has cut her hair and wears salwars. She is looking so different
1 hardly recognised her — very pretty and ridiculously young, about
sixteen!

Last evening we paid a visit to the Aga Khan’s palace to pay our
homage to the place where Ba and Mahadevbhai were burnt.^ We
took flowers and Sushila sang some slokas and the usual prayer that
Bapu was in the habit of doing every day.

What a hideous building is the Aga IChan’s palace! I am told that

1. Refers to letter dated 7 May 1944 (No 367).

2 Sushila Nayar: medical doctor and a close associate of Mahatma Gandhi; Union
Minister of Health (1962-7).

3 Refers to the cremation of Mahadev Desai and Mahatma Gandhi’s wife Kasturba
Gandhi who were incarcerated, along with Mahatma Gandhi, in the Aga Khan
Palace in Poona after the Quit India movement. Mahadev Desai died on 15 August
1942 and Kasturba Gandhi died on 22 February 1944. Both were cremated in the
grounds of the Aga Khan Palace.

434

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

the inside of the rooms occupied by Bapu and his party looked much
nicer because all or most of the furniture had been removed.

Much love to you,
Indu

369

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
13th May, 1944

Darling Indu,

Bapu’s release and his iUness have naturally upset the stiU and rather
stagnant waters of Indian life and there is a stir and an excitement and
a going to and fro. Yet I wish our people would restrain their desire
for darshan,^ etc. We are a terribly inconsiderate people where illness
is concerned — or, rather, ‘inconsiderate’ is not the right word. We
overwhelm the person who is iU with too much consideration. I think
one of Bapu’s chief troubles has been this and he is seldom allowed
privacy or rest. Crowds gather and gape and gaze at him, imagining
that they are not interfering in any way. The worst offenders are those
whom he encourages himself by his affection and personal interest.
He has built up such a vast family and given a bit of himself to so
many that each one of them considers it a right and duty to hover
round him.

Normally I would not worry about his health, for he has
considerable powers of recuperation. But it is his age that troubles
me. He is nearly seventy-five, a good age for India, an age which I
certainly do not expect to reach. For some years past I have noticed
the obvious effects of advancing age on his physical frame. What the
last twenty-one months have done to him I do not know, but I can
make a guess. I hope, therefore, that he will be strong enough to take
absolute rest till he is fuUy recovered and that others AviU help him to
do so.

Love,
Your loving,

Papu

1. Darshan (seeing), the act of viewing a sacred person or object.

• PRISON walls •

435

Mahahakshxvar,
26th May, 1944

Darling Papu,

I have collected fixam Chhoti Puphi all the books on children and
babies that she possessed and have brought them here. I am rather
awed by the responsibility of bringing a new person into the world
and of having complete control over his life. Mistakes, which seem
small enough to grown-ups, might have a hfelong influence. It is so
difficult to know, since there is so little we remember of our own
earliest years. I am more concerned that the new individual should
be a happy one than almost anything else. There is so much
unhappiness in the world and so few happy individuals. One unhappy
person tends to make another unhappy, unconsciously, of course. I
have here Ethel Mannin’s, Commonsense and the Child and A. S. Neill’s,
The Problem Child . ' Their argument is that the only way to ‘bring up’
a child is to leave it alone. NeiU runs a school on these lines — a fi'ee
school, he calls it, in Suffolk. He claims to have cured all sorts of
‘difficult’ children merely by allowing them to get rid of their
repressions. The way Neill writes makes this method sound the only
possible way to deal xvith children. And yet, the parent is not the only
person with whom the child will come into contact. How can one
reconcile a ‘ffee’ atmosphere at home with the usual orthodox school?
Neill says that the child, if not forced to learn and have various subjects
rammed down its throat, may start learning later but -will learn faster
and with more lasting benefit. He says the child must not have any
kind of discipline thrust on it. Let it be dirty, if it so wills — ^let it stay
up until it is tired enough to go to sleep, provided always that the
child’s wishes of the moment do not seriously affect your work or
rest or sleep. Whatever method one means to follow must start firom
the beginning, from baby’s earliest months.

One has heard and read so many jokes about the club bore but I
had never actually met one. We do not go to clubs and the like but
Mr Vakil has a friend, a man who has taken a degree at Harvard and
has travelled in America and Europe. Can he talk, as the Americans

1. A. S. Neill (1883—1973): founder of Summerhill School, he advocated liberal ideas in
education. The novehst Ethel Mannin’s book, Commonsense and the Child, was
influenced by Neill’s ideas.

436

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

would say! It is really quite wonderful to watch. This morning he
came at about nine. He has been talking, believe it or not, all the time
without pausing enough for anyone to say as much as yes or no. It is
now one o’clock.

Lots of love, Papu darling,
Your loving,
Indu

371

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
27th May, 1944

Darling Indu,

I have been reading little lately and all the good books you have sent
me repose in the bookshelf, which is over-full now. For the last six
weeks I have spent a good deal of time in writing. I am beginning to
tire of this and perhaps one of these days I shall put my pen and
paper away and seek reUef in reading. I am not very satisfied with
what I have written. Yet, even though it may not be up to much, it is
a useful discipline for the mind. It forces one to think precisely and to
express oneself clearly. Indeed there is sometimes an element of
surprise in seeing one’s thought put on an attire of words and phrases
and appear in black and white. Normally one thinks vaguely and the
thought is all rounded up with no sharp ends; it fades off with wishes
and odd fits of knowledge. In the old days education both in India
and in Europe included a study of logic so that the student may know-
how to think and reason clearly. In Europe this was Aristotle’s logic;
India had and has her own system of Nyaya, which is still taught in
the Sanskrit schools and colleges. Both these are out-of-date and far
too formal in their approach. They tend to make the mind scholastic
and rather rigid, and yet they served a useful purpose and did give a
training to the mind. It is surprising how untrained most people’s
minds are now, even the minds of otherwise well-educated people.
We cannot go back to Aristotle or Nyaya but the modern substitute is
a scientific training, and especially practical work in science.

I remember, in my school days, there used to be a great argument
in England, as elsewhere, of the relative value and importance of a
classical and a scientific training. People used to grow quite excited
and heated over it, each party or group emphasising the value of its

• PRISON WALLS •

437

owTi wares. I suppose science has now won all along the line and the
classics are just tolerated. That is right in a way and it was inevitable.
We simply can’t do without science and the old rigid methods of
classical education isolated a person from the world of today. And yet
science by itself is pretty dry and the scientist is not always the most
lovable of men. He lacks something, the poise and calm outlook on
life which the classics often gave. Compare H.G. Wells^ with Gilbert
Murray.^ Well, I suppose, we must combine the two somehow. . .

We have been here now for twenty-one months and three weeks.
That reminds me that this is already my longest term. And then,
previously, there used to be interviews and some kind of personal
touch was kept up. Not so this time.

How people must have changed, I often think, during these past
twenty-one months or more. How you must have changed. When we
meet, as I suppose we will some time or other, I shall be feeling about
with the tentacles of my mind, trying to find what is new, what is old
in you. So also with others.

It is not merely the lapse of time that counts; it is what we have
lived through that makes a difference. Recent years have been very
abnormal and each one of us has a particular stock of experience and
a store of feelings and impressions, each one of which has made some
litde difference. And so strangers creep in where friends used to be.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

372

Ahmadmgar Fort Prison,
3rd June, 1944

Darling Indu,

I suppose it is right and inevitable that you should read books on
babies and children. And yet there is always a possibility of overdoing
this kind of thing — or rather of being so overburdened with advice
that one’s natural common sense hardly functions ... I remember

1 H G. Wells (1866—1946)- writer and novelist. His advocacy of the apphcation of
scientific method exercised a deep influence.

2. Gilbert Murray (1866-1957): classical scholar and distinguished mterpreter of Greek
ideas.

438

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

Betty & Raja mugging up such books together and referring to them
for advice at every time. This very attitude of doubt and hesitation vdtli
a tinge of excitement somehow affects the child sometimes in the ^vrong
way, for children, like animals, are peculiarly susceptible to psychological
states. The books you have been reading and which you mention are
good in their own way and give a lot of sound advice. But it is as well to
remember that many experts do not wholly agree with them and in
fact there has been a tendency to turn away from this method of treating
children. Probably it is a good method for the ‘difficult’ and ‘problem’
child, but many children are not, to begin wnth, problem children at all
and in their case this treatment may not be wholly suitable. It may
result in a normal child developing problem traits.

Problem and suchlike children have, I suppose, always existed
but undoubtedly they are peculiarly common in our present age,
especially in Europe and America. They are the products of this age
of transition where everything is changing so rapidly that it is difficult
to have any standards of values to judge by. Also the small families
which are so usual today — one child or two — result in problem
children. A larger family, several children, has disadvantages but from
the child’s point of view it is usually better and he has a more normal
life with companions growing up with him. To some extent, but not
wholly (except perhaps in a socialist country like Russia), school and
a communal life can take the place of family life.

Bertrand Russell says somewhere that parents are wholly unsuited
to bring up .their children; they are too intensely interested in them
to take a dispassionate view or to treat them normally.

You say you want the child to be happy — of course. But then
what is happiness? There is the solid content of a fairly prosperous
pea.sant; there are higher grades of intellectual and emotional happiness.
There is the happiness of the person who is drunk or who is under
the influence of some drug. I suppose, if you analyse your mind, you
will find that happiness is more often negative than positive — an
absence of pain & suffering. And yet how is one to be happy if he
knows and sees another in pain? A sensitive person will suffer
continually on behalf of others. An insensitive person may escape that
but at the cost of much that is fine in life. Long ago (probably 140
years ago) Leopardi, the Italian poet,’ wrote to his sister on the occasion

1. Giacoma Leopardi (1798-1837):authorofinany lyrics, some p.atrioric, and a prose
work. Little Moral H ’orks.

• PRISON WALLS •

439

of her marriage: ‘Thou shall have children, either cowards or unhappy;
choose thou the latter.’ That is perhaps an extreme view but there is
some truth in it.

Ultimately we cannot be really happy till the whole world is happy
and that is a large order. Mere avoidance of unhappiness, not easily
possible, may itself result in isolation and boredom and a malaise
which is worse than definite unhappiness. We are so organically
connected with others & with the world that we cannot both hve a
full life and yet avoid the world’s ills.

What then is one to do? That is a big question which has been
asked almost since human beings began to think. It seems to me that
the only thing to aim at is the power or capacity to extract happiness,
or perhaps it is better to call it peace and calm, out of unhappiness
itself Not to escape from anything but to face it and yet be above it in
a way; not to be overcome by it and to retain in spite of everything a
sense of life and its larger purposes, a feehng of life fulfilment. How
to do that is a difficult enough job and each person has to learn for
himself and it seems that only fife, with all its waywardness and shock,
can teach. The most we can do is to prepare the background for it.

Read your books by all means but do not attach too much
importance to everything they contain. A story of Li-Po the great
Chinese poet comes to my mind. A young man, desiring to become
a poet, went to Li-Po and asked him how he was to train himself for
the purpose; ‘Master, how can I become a poet.’ Li-Po said: ‘Read all
the mles and books and then forget them and observing nature put
your feeling in words.’

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

373

Dtmlauin Lodge,
Shiuaji Nagar,
19th June, 1944

Darling Papu,

Bapu is here. He sent for us yesterday and we were with him for
quite a while. He is looking so much better than when I saw him last,
but still gets tired fairly quickly.

440

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

I was rather amused at your picture of me, rushing to consult a
book every time the child was naughty! Rajabhai & Puphi do rather
go to extremes sometimes. They discuss something and for a while it
is ‘the thing’, then the enthusiasm wanes and it’s completely forgotten.
I do realise that the training of the child depends entirely on its
individuality and personality, as well as its environment. But it is a
help to know how other people tackle the various problems and
difficulties that are bound to arise, and to know how other children
have reacted to different kinds of treatment.

You are right, my statement about happiness was rather vague.
And when I started thinking about it, I got more and more confused.
However, what I actually meant in my letter was not happiness in the
widest sense of the word.^ I only meant the carefree happy-go-lucky
joy that is full of wonder at the mystery of the world — only a few
children have it and for only a few short years. But in India it is very
rare indeed. You see children dressed in unwieldy grown-up clothes
with solemn faces, like Htde old men and women. It is hardly their
parents’ fault — the conditions of life are so difficult, there is a lack of
aU social amenities. But I do feel that for a few years at least the child
should have the world as his kingdom. AU too soon wiU come the
realisation of the poverty and ugliness, of the many chains by which
we are bound; social and economic and political, of the struggle that
is life. But it is good to know that in the midst of aU this there is much
beauty.

Happiness is not content or satisfaction. I do not believe the
insensitive can ever be truly happy. I feel that the ability to feel happiness
is dependent on the abUity to feel sorrow. And only those who have
felt deep sorrow can feel deep happiness. Both sensations, at their
most intense, are sharp and fleeting. One cannot stay at the climax
long. Sheer happiness may turn into joy or delight, or at worst, content.
Sorrow gets duUed into melancholy. Each is a passing emotion, but it
leaves us the richer for having experienced it. Lin Yu-tang quotes a
seventeenth-century Chinese describing some happy moments — in
each case it is an ordinary everyday occurrence — for instance. ‘To cut
with a sharp knife a bright green w^ater-melon on a big scarlet plate
of a summer afternoon. Ah, is this not happiness?’

Much love,
Indu

1. Sec letters dated 26 May and 3 June 1944 (Nos. 370 and 372).

■ PRISON Walls •

441

374

Dunlavin Lodge,
Shimji Nagar,
Poona,
21st June, 1944

Darling Papu,

Here is a quotation about books, from Anatole France.’

What IS a book? A series of little printed signs — essentially
only that. It is for the reader to supply himself the forms and
colours and sentiments to which these signs correspond. It will
depend on him whether the book be dull or brilliant, hot
with passion or cold as ice. Or if you prefer to put it otherwise,
each word in a book is a magic finger that sets a fibre of our
brain vibrating Uke a harp string and so evokes a note from the
sounding-board of our soul. No matter how skilful, how
inspired the artist’s hand, the sound it makes depends on the
quahty of the strings within themselves.

It is not at aU necessary for either Mami or Masi to come for my
confinement. They dislike leaving their children and their home even
for a short while. To come to Bombay will mean a long and
uncomfortable train journey and needless expense. Then where will
they stay in Bombay? As I shah be in hospital they cannot be with me
for any length of time. I have tried to explain all this to Masi. Evidently
she has not conveyed the message to Nani. I am writing to Nani.

Much love,
Indu

375

Alimadnagar Fort Prison,
1st July, 1944

Darling Indu,

I hope that you have fixed up everything during your visit to Bombay.

1 Anatole France (1844-1924). French novelist, noted as a free-thinker, sociahst and
satirist.

442

• TWO ALONE, TWO TOGETHER •

I do not know Shirodkar^ — ^never heard of him. That of course is not
against him, for my kno\yledge and experience of the world of doctors
and surgeons is strictly limited. Obviously in a city like Bombay there
must be many competent gynaecologists. Purandare is good and
experienced but he is not the only one. The main thing to do is to fix
up definitely with someone and have the assurance that you can refer
to him whenever necessary.

It certainly will not be right for you to return to Allahabad for the
confinement. Not that I think badly of the facilities available in
Allahabad. But obviously Bombay offers many additional facilities
and it is safer to be near these. There is really nothing to worry about.
Your present health is excellent and this is the basic factor.

I should Hke to have news of Rafi Ahmed and Raghunandan Saran.
Both have been ill for a long time. Could you ask Feroze to find out?

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

376

Dimlavin Lodg,
Shiuaji Nagar,
Poona,
15th July, 1944

Darling Papu,

Poona is perfectly dehghtflil. I am glad I came for even this short period.

On Thursday the 13th — a taxi drove up and out came Bui. It was
so unexpected — we were just thinking of collecting various articles
that she had asked for. Bui is always so smartly dressed. Nobody
could have guessed that she was coming from two years of jail instead
of getting off the fashionable Deccan Queen!^ In jail she used to dress
in smart and well-cut shorts or slacks most of the time. She was looking
very well and chirpy and brown. She wanted to rush off to Panchgani
immediately but it was too late for the bus so she left early next

1. Dr V.N. Shirodkar: a well-known obstetrician and gynaecologist of Bomb.iy. Indira
was considering having her confinement under his care as Dr Purandare was not
certain he would be in Bombay at that time.

2. Deccan Queen: express train which ran between Bombay and Poona.

• PRISON WALLS •

443

morning. She sent you her love and what she calls her usual messagi
‘keep cool’.

Here is a poem ofWalter de la Mare that I rather Hked:

Alone

I sit alone,

And clear thoughts move in me,

Pictures, now near, now far,

Of transient fantasy
Happy I am, at peace
In my own company.

Yet life is a dread thing too.

Dark with horror and fear.

Beauty’s fingers grow cold.

Sad cries I hear.

Death with a stony gaze
Is ever near.

Lost in myself I hide
From the cold unknown:

Lost, like a world cast forth
Into space star-sown:

And the songs of the morning are stilled,
And delight in them flown.

So even the tender and dear

Like phantoms through memory stray —

Creations of sweet desire.

That faith can alone bid stay.

Cast off the cloak of the real
And vanish away.

Only love can redeem
This truth, that delight,

Bring morning to blossom again
Out of plague-ridden night.

Restore to the lost the found.

To the blinded, sight.

444

• TWO ALONE. TWO TOGETHER •

Mridu and the Sarabhais are back from Kashmir, Sheikh Saheb
sent his salaams to you and the Maulana especially, and greetings to
the others. Mridu stayed a day at the Sarans' in Delhi. Raghunandan
Bhai has been iU for a long time — dysentery and all sorts of internal
disorders. He is a little better now but still far from well.

I had a letter from Barbara Hartland, the nurse Aryanayakam^ had
suggested. But now that Shirodkar is providing his own nurse for ten
days and after that there will be Anna, it seemed unfair to send for
Miss Hartland as well. She is doing good and useful work — she is in
charge of a children’s home run by the Friends’ Ambulance Unit in
Contai, Midnapore. I should feel ashamed if she had to leave her
work and come all this way just because of me.

Much love,
Indu

377

Abmadnagar Fort Prison,
15th July, 1944

Darling Indu,

Now that you have made new arrangements with Shirodkar I feel
much more at ease.

I apply oil rarely to my head — usually about once a fortnight. The
other day, in an attempt to do so, I put on a fair quantity of undiluted
Dettol to the head! It was only after a little while that I discovered
something was wrong. Again, later I reversed the process and put
some oil in a tumbler of water for the purpose of gargling! Pretty bad,
isn’t it? Though not quite as bad as it looks, for I keep the two in ver}^
small unlabelled phials and a mistake is possible. Still, I was put out
by this succession of lapses. I remembered reading in an American
magazine recendy about a chaplain who began to forget little things
he had to do. Thinking that he might be suffering from overstrain, he
consulted his doctor. There was apparently nothing wrong. However
the investigation proceeded, various X-ray photographs were taken,
and a faint shadow or some other indication was noticed in the region

1 . Raghunandan Satan and his wife Raksha Satan: he was a Congtessman from Delhi
and a close friend of the Nehtu family.

2. E.W. Aryanayakam, of Sri Lanka, was Secretary to Rabindranath Tagore for some
time and later an associate of Mahatma Gandln.

• PRISON WALLS •

445

of the brain. It was decided to operate and the beginnings of a small
tumour were removed. He recovered rapidly and got back his memory;
there were no further lapses.

AH this does not mean that I am suffering from a softening of the
brain or any other ailment. I think my mind and brain are in very
good condition, and as for my body it is as fit as it has ever been.

Some days ago I received three bottles of Mahabaleshwar honey
either from you or from Betty. It looks good and is rather swanky as
each bottle bears the name of a different flower — rose, akara, paiigla.
What is the akara and the paitgla? I do not know them. But I had a
shock when I noticed the price marked on one of the bottles. This is
Rs. 7/4 and the bottle is a small one, not containing more than 1 14 lb.
It IS scandalous paying so much for honey, especially in these days.
Please do not send any more at this or hke price. Anyway this honey
wiU last us a long time as we use it with all due care and reverence.

Love,
Your loving,
Papu

37S

Dtmlauin Lodge,
Shivajinagar,
Poona,
19th July, 1944

Darling Papu,

Darling, I was amused at your worrying about growing old so soon.
Isn’t it funny how when one is very young, anybody just a few years
older seems to be very old? There is rather a delightful story I
remember coming across in a moth-eaten book some years ago. Two
little chaps are discussing the age of a third, and the one reflectively
remarks: ‘Well, I don’t ’zactly know how old Charhe is; but he must
be very old, for he blows his own nose.’

As we ourselves gain in years, old age seems to recede further and
further back. Now that in four years I shall be thirty, fifty seems to me
to be quite young. My own ideas of old age have been modified
greatly since I have heen observing our old man — ^Bapu. What a
wonderfuUy clear brain he has! How straight he picks his way through
the fine points and arguments, the sense and the nonsense that are

446

• TWO AI-ONC, TWO TOGETHER •

talked to him. With what patience he listens to everybody and yet lets
nobody confuse him — all these clever lawyers and politicians and
other bigwigs.

I am afraid I am to blame for the honey ... I wanted to send you
one big bottle of rose honey — I was informed that the price of the
small bottle was Rs. 3/ 12/-. However the honey was not available in
the Mahabaleshwar shop so I just remarked that it was a pity since I
wanted it for you. Apparently the Madhukosh people have taken
matters in their own hands.

You will remember I wrote to you some months ago’ about the
murti that Rajabhai had had dug out of the peepul tree in Anand
Bhawan and had brought to his flat in Bombay. Apparently everybody
who saw it told him that he should not have done so, that it would
bring ill-luck and that such lunrtis should never be disturbed, and so
on. Both Rajabhai and Chitti“ were quite upset. The murti has now
been removed from its place and is reposing in my suitcase waiting
for someone to take it back to Allahabad when it will again reign
supreme over the peepul tree. I am not sorry, for I did not much like
the idea of its coming to Bombay in the first place, specially when
Bebee told me how long it had been in our garden.

With very much love and a big fat hug,

Indu

379

Ahmadnagar Fort Prison,
22ud July, 1944

Darling Indu,

I like de la Mare’s poem which you have sent me.^ Amazingly musical
he is and imaginative, living on the borderland of fact and fantasy,
with a secret nostalgic longing for some elusive feeling or emotion.
His lines linger in the memory and often take one out of the present
into a world of imaginative existence.

I know Barbara Hartland quite well — that is to say I have seen her
many times during the past seven or eight years. She used to work in

1. Refers to letter dated 28 March 1944 (No. 363).

2 Tamil for Puphi or aunt. Refers to Krishna Hutheesing.
3. See letter dated 15 July 1944 (No. 376)

• PRISON WALLS •

447

the Friends’ Hospital in Itarsi and whenever I passed through Itarsi,
and that was pretty often, she was almo

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Full text of "Two Alone Two Together(letter Between Indira Gandhi Amp Nehru 1922-1964"

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